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FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 



BY THE SAME AUTHOR 

MEMORIES DISCREET 
AND INDISCREET 

ILLUSTRATED, $5-00 NET 

E. P. BUTTON & COMPANY 

NEW YORK 





8 



Sir Frank Lockwood's Sketch During the Wood V. Cox Case 
(From the original) 



FURTHER 
INDISCRETIONS 

BY 

A WOMAN OF NO 
IMPORTANCE 



ILLUSTRATED 




V^^ LC-^ 



NiEW YORK 
E. P. DUTTON & COMPANY 

68i FIFTH AVENUE 



^f^^^^ 



\A^ 



h"^ 



Copyright, 19 i8, 
By E. p. button & COMPANY 



All Rights Reserved 



m -! 1918 



Printed in the tTnitej States of America 



^G:J..50132C 



CONTENTS 

CHAPTER I 

Beautiful Women of the Eighties — Mrs. Langtry as a Girl — The 
Dean of Jersey Fights Some Neighbours — Mr. Abingdon 
Baird — At a Dinner Party — His "Damned Lawyers" — Mrs. 
Langtry on the Stage — A Cruel Riddle — The Marquess of 
Hastings — His ' ' Pocket Venus ' ' — Donington of Yesterday and 
To-day — Rtmaway German Prisoners — Captured — The Late 
Colonel North's Picture Gallery — Durham and Chetwynd 
Row — Wood versus Cox — Sir Frank Lockwood's Sketch in 
Court — Sir George Chetwynd — The Jubilee Plunger — Some 
Bets I 

CHAPTER II 

Dr. Godson's Deal with an Earl — What He Did with His Fees — 
His Words with the Dowager Lady Lonsdale— Dr. West's 
Idea of Tact — Lord Lister Mends Some Broken Bones — Au- 
thor Introduces Him to Sir Monier Williams — Ansesthetics in 
Pharaoh's Time — Sir William Jenner and His Son — Sir Wil- 
liam Visits the King — Sir James Paget's Views of Duty — Dr. 
Wilkie Collins in Trouble — Some Awkward Moments — A 
Country Practitioner's Goodness — His Reward — Dr. Yorke- 
Davies and the Prince of Wales (King Edward VII) — The 
Prince Has Tea with the Author — Meets with a Slight Acci- 
dent — Sir Maurice Fitzgerald — Cardinal Vaughan Mistaken 
for Someone Else — The Fate of Dr. Lavis of Beaulieu . . 28 

CHAPTER III 

I Make a List of People's Kinks — And Lose It — Lord Exmouth's 
Peculiarities — A Dinner with a Professor — His Feelings Are 
Hurt — A Colonel Gets Kicked — A Tactful Official's Un tactful 
Wife — A Lady with a Religious Mania — She Speaks Her Mind 
in Church — An Organ-Grinder Viscount — Lord Poulett's 
Dream — Some Varieties of Fabricators 54 

CHAPTER IV 

The Tempers of Sporting People — " Heel-Tap " Days in the North- 
umberland Yeomanry — Mr. Camaby Forster as Master of the 
Ledbury — His Hunt Servants' Awe of Him — Lady Mary 
Hamilton's Popiilarity — The Duke of Hamilton's Cure for 
Gout — The DuJfe at Oxford, His Generous Nature — Starts a 
Money-lending Business — Why He Relinquished It — The 
Grand National of 1867 — A Bet the Night Before — How He 



vi CONTENTS 

PAGE 

Paid It — A Mistake over a Horse's Weight at Newmarket — 
His Grace's Sporting Garments — One of His Favotirite Jock- 
eys — The Duke Gives Custance a Present of a Horse — It Ob- 
jects to Physic and Custance Has to Hide — The Duke's Harri- 
ers at Easton — A Favourite Horse Named "Safe Coach" — 
He Carries a Foreign Guest Who Does Not Enjoy His Ride — 
The Duke's Generosity to a Sporting Parson — A West Coun- 
try Master's Eccentricities — The Health of a Welsh M.F.H. — 
A Little Tragedy in the Hunting Field 75 

CHAPTER V 

Mr. Comey Grain at Home and Elsewhere — He and Captain 
Beaumont Perpetrate a Joke — With the Fire Brigade in 
Southwark Bridge Road — An Accident to Captain Beaumont 
— A Labouchere and Lawson Row — How It Ended — Mr. 
Labouchere at Home — How He Treated a Guest — Asked Why 
He Called His Paper Truth — His Reply — After-dinner 
Tableaux — Mr. Augustus Harris Personates Royalty — Mr. 
Comey Grain as "Rags and Chatters" — A Mock Court- 
Martial — Execution Effected on a Princeling — Mr. Joseph 
Chamberlain as I Knew Him — In a Toy-shop — Fond of Chil- 
dren — Letty Lind and Her "Wages " — Marion Hood and Her 
Hair 96 

CHAPTER VI 

A Long-forgotten Law Case — An Anomalous Finding — A Mock 
Marriage — Ruin — The Attitude of the Church — Reparation, 
Too Late — Sudden Death and a Suicide — Lord Cathcart 
Goes Lame, Explains the Reason — Lord Greenock Admires 
the Fair Sex — Lady Sykes' Peculiarities — Contretemps at a 
Dinner Party — She Drives White Donlceys Tandem — Sir Tat- 
ton Sykes and His Greatcoats — Mr. Glynn Vivian Objects to 
Coloured Grasses and Locks up the Silver — Lady Caroline 
Maddon and Her Daughter — A Search for Eligible Young 
Men — An After-dinner Recitation 122 

CHAPTER VII 

The Duchess of Montrose — Her Three Husbands — Pigeon Shoot- 
ing at Hurlingham — Queen Victoria's Veto — The Duchess 
Has a Toss — She Speaks Her Mind — The Prince of Wales 
an Eye-witness — The Prince Tries to Avoid a Racing Rum- 
pus — Too Late — Some Curious Betting Transactions — The 
Duchess Expresses Her Opinion of V/omen — Women's Clubs 
— Why They Are Not More Successful — Some Soap-lifters 142 

CHAPTER VIII 

Some Racing Ladies — Stakes Given to the Red Cross Fund — 
Prince Soltykoff a Faithful Friend — Lord Alfred Paget Patron 
of the Theatre — Queen Alexandra's Interest in Racing — Her 
Sympathy and Enjoyment of a Joke — In Her Home at Sand- 
ringham — The Fatigue of Ladies-in- Waiting — -Lady Maccles- 



CONTENTS vii 

PAGE 

field and Bishop Wilberforce — Lady Ely Asked Her Favour- 
ites at Court — The German Emperor at Osborne — Queen 
Victoria and John Brown — The Duke of Connaught's Early 
Speech-making — Mr. Bolckow the Duke's Host at Marton — 
Starving Amidst Plenty — A Tactful Host i6o 

CHAPTER IX 

Some of the Author's Loves — Old Joseph and His Ewe-Lamb — 
Homeless Ruben Stride — His Temperament and Philosophy 
— Brusher Mills, the Snake Charmer — His Home-made 
Abode — A Temple of Romance — A Storehouse of Treasures — 
A Lovish Baptist Minister — His Love Letter — Author's Van- 
ity Receives a Rude Shock — Her Successor 177 

CHAPTER X 

From My Sketch Book — Some BrUliant Conversationalists — Host- 
esses and Fascinating Women — Curious Proceedings During a 
Divorce Case — Sir Eyre Shaw Decollete — Peculiarities of the 
Late Duchess of Cleveland — An Historic House in Grafton 
Street — Mr. A. J. Balfour Reviews Himself as Undergraduate 
and Prime Minister — He Does Not Love the Crowd — Colonel 
Burn, King's Messenger — His Farewell Bouquet — Major 
Slade's Many Fiancees — The Maharajah of Cooch Behar — 
As Sportsman, Ruler, and Ladies' Man — A Sikh Gentleman's 
Disgust — Sir Charles Monro's Views of Whatis Good for India 
— The Prime Minister of Rewar Wants Something but Does 
Not Get It — Prince Bismarck and the Author — A Curious 
Introduction 193 

CHAPTER XI 

The Waterloo Ball — Lady Sophia Cecil Revisits Goodwood — Lady 
de Ros Buckles on the Duke of Wellington's Sword — Lady 
Sophia's Christmas Dinner — The "Poor Yellow Puppy!" — 
A Fishing Expedition — An Exciting Drive — Tea with the 
Minister — His Housekeeper is Piqued with Him — A Struggle 
with a Salmon — Cawnpore as It Was — A Drive in a Bullock 
Cart — A Thieving Crow — Sir Owen Bume — Pained with the 
Duke of Cambridge — Some Appointments — Sir Owen's Den 
— His Difficulties with the Shah of Persia — Lord Shaftesbury 
Scolding — A Contretemps between Bishop and Prize-fighters 
at Buckingham Palace 2H 

CHAPTER XII 

The Pantechnicon on Fire — Caught in the Crowd — Unpleasant 
Experiences — A Goat to the Rescue — Another Alarm on 
Board Ship; Nearly Wrecked — A Calcutta Merchant Loses 
His Head — Author Helps Him to Save His Soul — King Ed- 
ward VII's Coronation — A Long Wait — The Procession — 
Archbishop of Canterbury Overtired — The King Helps Him — 
The King Kisses His Son — Emotional Moments — A Funeral 
at Sea — Some Love Affaii s — How They Were Arranged-»-One 



viii CONTENTS 

of the Saddest Sights in Life — A General and His Son Aspire 
to the Hand of Same Lady — Bishop Warburton's Views of 
Life 230 

CHAPTER XIII 

The Marquess of Queensberry Has a Row with a Pugilist — What 
Sir Claude de Crespigny Thought of Him — A Row on a Race- 
course — A Friend for Life — A Long Ride — Breeches and 
Boots Cut Off — The Queensberry Rules Drawn up by Some- 
one Else — A Steeplechase on Foot with Fred Cotton — A Swim 
in the Night — Journey Minus Clothes — Ferryman's Surprise 
— Lady Queensberry — England Going to the Dogs — Some 
Capable Women — The First Duke of Westminster — Some of 
His Race-horses — A Tragedy — And a Rumpus — Lord Bramp- 
ton to the Rescue — Some of the Duke's Economies — "Or- 
monde" at a Garden Party 245 

CHAPTER XIV 

The Late Earl of Guildford — Has a Difference with Civic Officials 
— Curious Racing Arrangements — A Scared Showman — 
Twelfth Earl of Winchelsea Makes Friends with Moses — Lord 
Btilwer Lytton — His Appearance — Work — And Treatment of 
His Wife— A Story of His Son— The Rev. E. Bumaby and the 
Late Marquess of Exeter — A Primrose Ball — "The Ruffian" 
— Mr. Bumaby Falls Out with Lord Kainnaird — What They 
Said — A Little Faux-pas in "The House" — Arthur Orton's 
Tichborne Signature — His Promises — Gives Himself Away — 
Mr. Hawkins Changes His Mind — Lord Brampton in Court 
and on the Race-course — Lady Harborough's Complacency — 
Mr. Bumaby at Longleat — Prays for Departed King — 
Guinea-pig Jack — An Exciting Drive — Lord Beaconsfield — 
In His Bath — His Wife's Advice — His Last Moments — His 
Rudeness — Mr. Coningsby Disraeli 263 

CHAPTER XV 

Victor Hugo on Our Judicial System — Sir Howard Vincent and Sir 
Fitzjames Stephens' Opinions — "Apple-pip Kelly" Goes to 
Make Love — Lord Chief Justice Tindal Is Funny — A Bombay 
Official Makes an Ass of Himself — A Prudish Man Doing War 
Work — A Nurse Teases Him — Poking Fun at Authorities and 
Result — A Youthful Bride in Zeppelin Raid — A Bigwig's 
Views on Duty — Chummy Canadians and Their Colonel — A 
Puzzling Accent — General Sir Julian Byng on the Dardanelles 
Question — Mr. Labouchere Wanted — Mr. Gibson Bowles 
Busy in "The House" 385 

CHAPTER XVI 

Some Celebrated Women — Lady Ely, Lady Molesworth and Skit- 
tles — The Prince of Wales — Lady Molesworth and Paddy 
Green at Evans' Supper Rooms — A Row in the Quom Coun- 
try — Skittles Has the Last Word — Belgravian Mother's La- 



CONTENTS ix 

PAGE 

ment — Lady Stamford, Girton, and Robert Peck — Lady Car- 
digan Is Surprising — Mrs. Postlethwaite and Her Friends — 
Mr. Gladstone and Beaconsfield — She Gives Him the Kiss of 
Peace — No Old Ladies — Sad Memories — Three First-class 
Misdemeanants — HoUoway Jail — Flora Annie Steel and 
Helen Mathers — Their Writings — A Dunce or Two — Differ- 
ent Etiquettes — The Rev. Evelyn Burnaby and Mrs. Whyte- 
M«lville — He Prescribes for Her 301 

CHAPTER XVII 

General Macbean and His Royal Playmates — A Sporting Essex 
Baronet and a Neighbouring Peer — A Difference of Opinion — 
Uninvited Wedding Guests — Shopping Under Difficulties — 
Mr. Graham Gilmour — Some of His Prophecies — How They 
Were Fulfilled — In Trouble with the Aero Club — A Clergy- 
man's Curious Attitude — A Fatal Accident — Trophy-laden 
Officers — " Chauffeurines " — Their Work, Food, and Some 
Experiences — A Changed World — H.H. Prince Alexis Dol- 
gorouki and His Bride — A Dolgorouki for the Russian Throne 
— Prince Charlie at Braemar Castle 320 

CHAPTER XVIII 

General Sir Francis and Lady Lloyd — Lord D'Abemon Hard at 
Work in Egypt — The Rev. George Wilkinson in Eaton Square 
— His Principles and a Royal Command — A Naughty Clergy- 
man — Ate His Poultices — The Duchess of Devonshire's Ball 
— People Still Paying the Bills — Madame de Falbe at Luton 
Hoo — One of Her Guests and a Comforter — An Official View 
of Lord Kitchener's Conduct versus the Author's — An Offi- 
cial's View of Sir Ian Hamilton's Work — Sir Charles Douglas 
Lectures Sir Ian Hamilton — Mothers of Men 339 



ILLUSTRATIONS 

Sir Frank Lockwood's Sketch during the Wood v. Cox , 

Case Frontispiece 

TO FACE PAGE 

Mrs. Langtry 8 ^ 

The Late Marquess of Hastings Explaining His Betting , 

Book to his Bride 14 *^ 

DONNINGTON HalL l8 ^ 

Sir George Chetwynd of Newmarket Heath 24 v^ 

Sir William Tenner 34 ' 

/ 

Sir James Paget 36 ^ 

Dr. Nathaniel Yorke-Davies 46 v^ 

The Sixth Earl Poulett 68 ^ 

The Twelfth Duke of Hamilton 78 ^ 

Mr. Corney Grain 98 

Mr. Inderwick, Q.C 108 ' 

Sir Augustus Harris no V 

The Third Earl Cathcart i34 ^ 

The Duchess of Montrose . . . . , 142 v 

The Earl of Coventry 148 ^ , 

Lady Nelson 160 

Reuben Stride, a Nineteenth-Century Philosopher . . 182 • 

Brusher Mills of the New Forest 186 

Brusher Mills' Home in the New Forest 188 

Sir William Harcourt in his Young Days 200 ■ 

Sir William Harcourt AS A " Retired Leader " .... 202 V 

The Maharajah of Cooch Behar 204 y 

The Well at Cawnfore; photographed during the Mutiny 220 v 

xi 



xii ILLUSTRATIONS 

TO FACE PAGE 

The Eighth Marquess of Queensberry 246 ^ 

The Rev. Evelyn Burnaby 272 ■ 

The Claimant's Letter, taken from the Original . . . 274 ■. 

Mr. Graham Gilmour 324 ' 

H.H. Prince Alexis Dolgorouki 334 . 

H.H. Princess Alexis Dolgorouki . 336 ' 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 



CHAPTER I 

Beautiful Women of the Eighties — Mrs. Langtry as a Girl — 
The Dean of Jersey Fights Some Neighbours — Mr. 
Abingdon Baird — At a Dinner Party — His "Damned 
Lawyers" — Mrs. Langtry on the Stage — ^A Cruel Riddle 
— The Marquess of Hastings — His Pocket Venus — Don- 
ington of Yesterday and To-day — Runaway German 
Prisoners — Captured — The Late Colonel North's Picture 
Gallery — ^Durham and Chetwynd Row — Wood versus 
Cox — Sir Frank Lockwood's Sketch in Court — Si 
George Chetwynd — The Jubilee Plunger — Some Bets. 

I HAVE made a discovery! To write a book 
is in itself injudicious, but when you call it, 
as I did, Memories Discreet and Indiscreet, 
by a Woman of no Importance, it becomes a blazing 
indiscretion. 

My friends cavil at my nom de guerre and my 
discretion, and in return I have tried to meet their 
wishes. 

It is from the unknown that the greatest sur- 
prises spring. Amongst the shoal of letters my 
book has brought me there are many of kindness, 
others of reproach from those who were omitted 



2 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

and think they should have been included (although 
they do not know even who I am). Others who 
complain that while discretion is the better part of 
valour it should have no place in Memories. They 
expected apparently "confessions" — stories, that 
would shake the thrones of Europe — such as are 
left: anecdotes about celebrities via the butlers' 
pantry and the back-stairs. 

It seems to be the general opinion that the word 
Discreet and what it stands for is superfluous and, 
in consequence, I have left it out. I have striven to 
compose my little concerts in the brighter keys. 

Each successive generation thinks there never 
has been and never will be such soldiers, sailors, 
actors, actresses, and beautiful women again as 
they have seen in their day. We grew impatient 
with our old folk when they told us there were none 
to compare with the people of their time, and lo! 
in the autumn of our days we say exactly what they 
did, and no doubt we shall be ridiculed in much the 
same way as we ridiculed our elders and betters. 
History has a way of repeating itself. 

For instance, I feel sure that never again will 
there be so many beautiful women as there were 
in the eighties ; certainly I have seen nothing at the 
present time to compare with the "Professional 
Beauties," as they were called. 

Mrs. Langtry's name was at one time on every- 
body's lips, and her photograph in many shop win- 
dows, on every hand we heard of her beauty, 
charming manners and other stories. Her golden 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 3 

brown hair, violet-blue eyes and classic features 
surmounting a perfect neck and shoulders, threw 
up by contrast the dark-haired, sad and pathetic 
brown eyed Mrs. Wheeler the more striking. 

Mrs. Brown-Potter, Mrs. R. Webster, Mrs. 
Cornwallis West were also "professional beauties" 
at that time. The latter was perhaps the most dis- 
creet, as she was seldom seen without her husband, 
as often as not leaning on his arm. 

She was immensely admired about the time I 
was married. Lord Rossmore writing from Ire- 
land to a friend said he had been in a seventh 
heaven at a ball the night before as Mrs. Corn- 
wallis West had condescended to dance with him. 
Indeed, he had been so happy that he had failed to 
notice the floor was empty, and not until he had col- 
lided with another couple did he become aware they 
were the Princess of Wales and her partner. The 
fact that she was dancing of course accounted for 
the emptiness of the floor. 

Many years later, when Mrs. West's daughters 
had grown up and married, she drove over with 
them from Newlands, their place in Hampshire 
overlooking the Solent, to spend a Sunday after- 
noon at Milford-on-Sea, which Colonel West had 
turned into a popular resort for holiday makers 
by building villas. They decided to have tea at 
an hotel there, and while it was being prepared. 
Princess Henry of Pless and the Duchess of West- 
minster climbed down to the sea and began to 
paddle, calling to their mother on top of the cliff 



4 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

to take off her shoes and stockings and follow their 
example. 

The hotel proprietor was much incensed at this 
unSabbath-like conduct, and made audible remarks 
about cheap-trippers being bad for the hotel until 
he found out who his visitors were. Then his 
Sabbath-like feelings underwent a change. He 
at once became servile and crawling. 

Truly one may steal a horse and another must 
not look at it over the wall. 

Another handsome woman of that time was 
Louise Duchess of Manchester. What astonishing 
stories there used to be flying about; but, being a 
personage, even the very straight-laced thought it 
wise to be charming to her face. The late Lady 
Bessborough, however, was the exception that 
proves the rule, and one day as she drove through 
Great Stanhope Street she espied the Duchess at 
one of her windows waving a white pocket hand- 
kerchief at her. Lady Bessborough kept her moral 
head erect, pretending she did not see, but man- 
aging to observe everything perfectly all the same. 

When she alighted from her carriage she re- 
marked in what I think was a most undignified 

manner to her footman, ''Robert, was that 

(searching for some words severe enough) wicked 
Duchess waving at me!" 

But far and away more beautiful in my eyes than 
any of these were Georgina Countess of Dudley, 
the Duchess of Leinster, and Gladys Lady Lons- 
dale, the latter beautiful as a picture in her youth. 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 5 

but if possible more beautiful as Lady Ripon with 
her picturesque white hair. 

It is not given to all of us to be beautiful in our 
youth, but I think it is our own faults if we are not 
beautiful in our old age, when time and experience 
have taught us to cease striving after the impossible, 
when we no longer kick against the pricks, but 
fold our hands with faces towards the setting sun, 
"glad we came, nor sorry to depart," waiting pa- 
tiently for the Great Audit, not with hope, for that 
has died, nor with fear, that also has died, but with 
calm content, knowing we have worked out our 
salvation here through storm, tempest and bitter 
tears. 

I remember Mrs. Langtry as a girl in Jersey. 
She was older than I and I looked up to her with 
some of the respect I reserved for any grown-ups 
or playmates bigger than myself. Her name was 
not Lily at all, but Emily Charlotte le Breton, 
daughter of the Very Reverend the Dean of Jersey, 
a man with a great appreciation of beauty in the 
fair sex. 

One year when we were wintering in Jersey for 
my mother's health, though I was only eight years 
old at the time, I remember a number of people 
who visited my parents, the De Carterets, Pipons, le 
Bretons, de Saumerez, Hemerys, KnatchbuUs, etc. 

The Dean of Jersey was a great ladies' man. He 
used to come often to our church in St. Heliers and 
sit in our pew in order to admire and hear sing a 
very handsome Mrs. Knatchbull, who sat in front 



6 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

of us. Her voice was beautiful and cultivated. 
There was also a Mrs. de Saumerez he greatly ad- 
mired, whose pew was somewhere near. The hus- 
band of this lady was a certain well-known admiral 
(he may have been a lord, I have forgotten) de 
Saumerez, possessed of a violent and ungovernable 
temper and exceedingly jealous. It was almost as 
much as a man's life was worth to look at his wife. 
Colonel Knatchbull also was jealous, but did not 
show it in so pronounced a manner. Neither of 
these husbands accompanied their wives to church, 
but came to meet them when the service was over. 

One Sunday as we came out from, what I con- 
sidered a long and tedious service, we found the 
devoted husbands waiting outside the church, and 
we all proceeded down the rather narrow path to 
the main road. The Dean was walking with Mrs. 
Knatchbull, my father and Mr. Pipon one on each 
side of Mrs. de Saumerez, all of us more or less 
grouped together and the conversation fairly gen- 
eral. Suddenly Colonel Knatchbull struck the 
Dean and told him he was something-something, 
and he would not have him dancing about his wife 
making eyes at her. In a minute there was a free 
fight, for Admiral de Saumerez joined in, saying; 
yes, it was disgraceful the way the Dean made 
ladies conspicuous. He had been observing it for 
some time. I was so frightened I climbed up a 
wall dividing the churchyard from the highroad 
from St Heliers to St. Aubins. 

From this point of vantage I observed a curious 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 7 

thing happen. The row had begun by Colonel 
Knatchbull scolding and striking the Dean, but 
suddenly the cleric was left out in the cold, when 
the two irate husbands, for some reason I did not 
hear or understand, fell upon one another, the 
Admiral jumping up and down with passion, hit- 
ting above the belt, below the belt, and any acces- 
sible place, while in return his face was well 
pounded. The womenkind held on to the coat tails 
of the fighting men and, with the help of my father 
and Mr. Pipon, separated them while they con- 
tinued shouting something about blood and pistols. 
It was only through the endeavours and influ- 
ence of the Governor of the island, de Carteret by 
name, that a duel was averted between the Dean 
and Colonel Knatchbull in the first place, and the 
two irate husbands in the second. 

When Admiral de Saumerez became angry, 
which was not infrequent, all in his vicinity trem- 
bled in their shoes, for there was no knowing what 
he would do. I remember hearing my people talk- 
ing a good deal about this row and others in con- 
nection with the Admiral. 

My father said he had at times seen the Admiral 
running along the road from sheer temper, talking 
loudly to himself and gesticulating as he ran. 

After this row peace reigned for a while, or per- 
haps I should say armed neutrality was the order 
of the day. 

When Mrs. Langtry first arrived in England 
she was a very quiet, unpresuming little person, 



8 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

but her beauty and fascinating manners turned the 
heads of everybody, both men and women. I have 
seen them standing on chairs in the Park to get a 
glimpse of her. Her Hfe would be a wonderful 
story if it were ever written. High and low ad- 
mired her, the Prince of Wales, Lord Dudley, Mr. 
Abingdon Baird, and heaps more. 

A man of great wealth and a certain position, 
Mr. Baird had become mixed up with an undesir- 
able crowd consisting of the rag- tag and bob-tail 
of the ring and race-course. Mrs. Langtry, Sir 
Frederick Johnstone, and his cousin Mr. Douglas 
Baird tried to wean him from his unlovely friends. 
This process included charming dinner parties, at 
which the reluctant Mr. Abingdon Baird met high- 
born and refined ladies, whose charms and cultured 
minds were calculated to lure him from his dis- 
approved companions and perhaps turn his mind 
to higher thoughts. Everybody had to admit it 
was uphill work, as Mr. Baird was very difficult 
to awaken to "culture." 

At one of these dinners a very high-browed dame 
sitting next to him tried to draw Mr. Baird into 
conversation. He had looked unutterably bored 
throughout the greater part of the dinner. She 
began : 

"Do you like music?" 

"No," grunted Mr. Baird, shaking his head and 
not lifting his eyes from his plate. 

"Then perhaps you have not been to the opera 
lately?" 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 9 

An impatient shake of the head. 

*'But you should really, Madame Trebelli Bertini 
is wonderful! Have you never heard her?" 

"No and don't want to. Have you ever heard 
Bessie Belwood?" 

Sir Frederick Johnstone sighed and said, "Hope- 
less!" 

Poor Mr. Baird was a rough diamond, but a great 
admirer of the Jersey Lily, as Mrs. Langtry was 
called, but I do not think he liked the way she tried 
to keep him from prize-fighting. 

In the spring of 1893 Mr. Abingdon Baird, in 
company with his friend Charles Mitchell, the pugi- 
list, left this country for America. Mitchell had 
been matched to fight James J. Corbett, but it did 
not come ofif until January, 1894, Mitchell getting 
the worst of the contest. "The Squire" was, how- 
ever, present at a battle between Bob Fitzsimmons 
and Jim Hall at New Orleans, in March, 1893, 
where he caught a chill and died of pneumonia 
in that city ten days later. Before he started his 
solicitors, Messrs. Lumley and Lumley, persuaded 
him to make a will, add a codicil or some such thing, 
I do not know exactly what, but as soon as his 
solicitors had gone he rang his bell and sent for 
one of his chosen friends and particular pals, who 
arrived to find Mr. Baird sitting at his writing- 
table holding his head and looking very miserable. 
His pal (I am not sure it was not his valet), asked, 
"What's up. Squire?" this being always what his 
intimates called him. "Oh, those damned lawyers 



10 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

have been here and made me sign something I 
know nothing about. / don't know what the devil 
it's all about." Then seizing a large silver 
inkstand he flung it at the head of his interrogator, 
saying, *To hell with the lot of you!" 

The man ducked, but the inkstand hit him in the 
eye and continued its flight through a mirror at the 
end of the room. The portion of injured eye was 
paid for by a ten-pound note. 

I saw Mrs. Langtry when she made her first ap- 
pearance on the English stage, under the guidance 
and management of Mrs. Bancroft. This was in 
1 88 1. She took the part of Kate Hardcastle in 
"She Stoops to Conquer." 

We were all greatly disappointed with her at 
first on the stage; she looked insignificant and not 
particularly good looking. We could not under- 
stand what had happened to her. Later we dis- 
covered the reason. She would not paint her face 
and make up as all are bound to do for the stage. 
In consequence, under the glaring and trying light 
on the stage she looked absolutely colourless. It 
is easy to understand she did not wish to spoil her 
beautiful skin, but she found it was a necessity to 
get up in the ordinary and approved fashion of 
theatrical people. I never thought her a great 
actress. 

There was rather a cruel riddle in vogue in the 
'8o's: "What is the difference between Madame 
Modjeska and Mrs. Langtry? — the answer being: 
"One is a Pole and the other a Stick !" 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS ii 

The most wonderful acting I ever saw was that 
of Sarah Bernhardt in "Fedora," in Paris. Her 
voice alone in the love scene as she cooed on the 
sofa was enough to coax the birds off the trees, 
and in the poison scene was painfully marvellous. 
I remember the theatre was very hot, and there 
were two or three in our box, and as I felt rather 
faint the door was opened, but an attendant at 
once came and closed it, saying the light scene 
through the door would be annoying to madame 
on the stage. The attendant was told through the 
closed door that there was a lady in the box who 
did not feel very well and wished to go out. The 
attendant was adamant and suggested it would be 
quite all right if the lady fainted on the floor, and 
when the scene was over they would come and fetch 
her ! This conversation was carried on in the tini- 
est whispers with many "sh's," but the door was 
locked on the outside. Under the circumstances 
I refused to faint. 

Not feeling very well rather spoilt the evening's 
pleasure for me, but I have never forgotten Sarah's 
acting, and I think the theatre authorities are quite 
right to consider the actors and actresses in every 
possible way. Such a little thing might throw them 
out of their stride, besides movements and noise 
are exceedingly annoying to those who are enjoying 
every little movement and every word on the stage. 

I was at the opera in London the night Madame 
Adelina Patti appeared after the Nicolini episode. 
The house was cram full and large prices had been 



12 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

paid for boxes. When she appeared no doubt ex- 
pecting her usual ovation, there was a silence that 
was oppressive. I felt the tears rising to my eyes 
with grief for her, but after looking in what might 
have been bewilderment round the house for a 
moment she sang as no other that I have ever heard 
could sing, "Home, Sweet Home." 

She had touched the right chord; the house be- 
came hysterical, and the kind Prince of Wales 
leaned over his box and handed to her a bouquet, 
which she folded in her arms and laid her head 
amongst the flowers for a moment overcome with 
gratitude and emotion. 

I always feel glad I did not miss that night. It 
was such a triumph the way she appealed to her 
audience and won their hearts against their wills, 
I might almost say, for many had gone simply to 
see how she would be received, and with prudish 
and fault-finding minds and intentions. She cast 
them all to the winds and brought tears to the»eyes 
of many. 

I have wandered away again from Mrs. Langtry 
in a very reprehensible manner. She appeared on 
the stage in America in 1887, somebody told me the 
other day, I had not heard it before. 

When first she had acquired wealth enough to 
begin racing, she ran her horses under the name 
of Mr. Jersey, and then, as now, had the same 
delicate turquoise and fawn hoops and turquoise 
cap against her name in the calendar. The best 
horse she ever owned was the Australian "Mer- 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 13 

man," who won her the Goodwood Cup in 1899 
and Ascot Cup in 1900, three years after he had 
won the Caesarevitch as a birthday present for 
her. Of course at Newmarket she had showers 
of congratulations, but the Ascot triumph was the 
Red Letter Day of her Hfe, aUhough she was not 
present on that occasion, and strangely, the fol- 
lowing year Mr. George Edwards brought off 
another stage victory with his favourite and best 
horse, "San Toy." 

Mrs. Langtry held views of her own on the art 
of training. Some of them who trained for her got 
unmercifully chaffed about their lady employer. 
Pickering, for instance, was one day going to sad- 
dle a horse at one of the race meetings, and as he 
happened to have on a straw hat with a neat bow 
at the side, someone wishing to be funny, called 
out, "Did the missus trim your hat?" 

I always admired the way Mrs. Langtry con- 
ducted her racing. She was never loud and was 
seldom if ever seen alone in a paddock; if she went 
down to see a horse saddled she always had a suit- 
able escort. 

After Mr. Langtry's death, the Jersey Lily mar- 
ried Sir Hugh Gerald De Bathe in 1899, and now 
races under that name. 

In spite of Mrs. Langtry's endeavours to wean 
Mr. Abingdon Baird from his prize-fighting, he 
died as already stated in America from a chill 
caught after taking part in one of these entertain- 
ments. At his death his lawyers and his mother 



14 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

had a tremendous task in settling up his affairs. 
There were claims running into many thousands. 
One man, who had been promised £5000 for cer- 
tain services rendered, eventually accepted £3000. 
This case and others were to have been decided in 
the High Court, but Mr. Baird's mother, like all 
good mothers, could not bear the idea of having her 
son's name dragged through the mud, and ex- 
pressed her wish to pay everything. In consequence 
of this, and with the judge's permission, the court 
was relieved of the hearing. 

It is sad that the faithful friend of man should 
lead so many into trouble. I do not like to re- 
member all my old friends who have gone under 
through racing, not that I mean to infer it is the 
fault of the horses; they generally do their best to 
please us. It is man's own silly fault when he 
comes to grief. At the moment I am thinking of 
poor Lord Hastings, whom I never knew, as he 
died before my time, but whose beautiful wife I 
did know. They called her the "Pocket Venus," 
and many are the stories she told of that weak 
but exceedingly generous man who planned out his 
life for pleasure that proved so short lived. He 
was the fourth Marquess, born in 1842. In 1864 
he married Lady Florence Paget. The marriage 
caused a great sensation at the time, for she was 
engaged to Mr. Chaplain, now Lord Chaplain, and 
had gone with him to do some shopping at Mar- 
shall and Snelgrove's well-known shop in Oxford 
Street, where women's garments and fal-lals are to 




l"he Late Marquess of Hastings Explaining his Betting Book 
to his Bride 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 15 

be found in all their latest styles. While Mr. Chap- 
lin was walking up and down outside one entrance 
waiting for his fiancee, she departed from another 
in the brougham of Lord Hastings, which was 
awaiting her and was married at St. George's, 
Hanover Square. Altogether a most romantic 
affair. It is, of course, an old story now, but some 
of the present generation may not know about it, 
and be interested. It was later, when the wife of 
Sir George Chetwynd of Grendon, that I knew 
her. She married him in 1870. I first met her in 
1885. 

If the life of Lady Chetwynd, or Lady Hastings, 
as she was still called by many, were written it 
would be thrilling. She lived through some great 
experiences, many of them pitiful, others exciting 
and occasionally triumphant, but the pitiful pre- 
dominated. 

Her second matrimonial venture was not entirely 
a success. Her husband became heavily involved 
financially, and found himself more than once in 
hot water over his racing transactions, but to that 
I shall refer later. 

After the runaway marriage with Lord Hast- 
ings, Donnington Hall became the home of the 
"Pocket Venus." The picture of Lord Hastings on 
the sofa explaining his betting book to his newly- 
made wife was taken at Donnington and has never 
before been published as far as I know. It is a good 
likeness of Lady Hastings, allowing for the old- 



i6 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

fashioned style of dress, and she considered it a 
most faithful likeness of her husband. 

There are wonderful histories attached to Don- 
nington Hall; of cock-fights, racing and midnight 
revelry in which most of the sporting people of that 
day took part, Puis ford Hobson, Peter Wilkinson 
and the Duke of Hamilton amongst others. From 
all I hear I doubt if the revelry in those early years 
of Lady Hastings' life with the gambler have ever 
been equalled. 

One night after dinner one of Lord Hastings' 
(or "Harry" as his intimates called him) jockeys, 
named Jim Grimshaw, who was a very light weight, 
was, amidst much uproar, put upon the dining- 
table and made to dance a hornpipe. 

Poor Lord Hastings' racing was meteoric, six 
years was the outside. He registered his colours, 
red and white hoops and white cap, in 1862, and 
died in 1868. Harry Hill and Padwick the money- 
lenders, were his financiers and wire-pullers. He 
was firmly in their grip when he married Lady 
Florence Paget. I am afraid her husband was very 
extravagant and very weak, but he was straight- 
forward and made the mistake of believing what he 
was told, which naturally led to his early undoing, 
added to which he could not resist betting. When 
sitting in a railway carriage he would bet on the 
drops running down the window, or which fly would 
feast first on a lump of sugar at tea. It was alto- 
gether hopeless. 

Donnington, now occupied by the German 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 17 

prisoners of war, is by no means of noble structure, 
but a barrack-like building, its chief notable feature 
being" the four columns or turrets standing above 
the entrance to the house, but its surroundings 
are spacious and suitable for its present purpose. 
I wonder what the barbed-wire cost? Thousands 
were I know spent on laying electric wire into the 
house. The questions that have been asked, 
judging by the Blue Book, in connection with the 
cost of the upkeep of that place, food provided, etc., 
paid for out of us poor tax-payers' pockets are 
many and sensational. Considering the shortage of 
food, how do they get the good things they are 
receiving? Speaking of food reminds me of the 
time when, after much debate and palaver, the 
price of potatoes was fixed at one penny half-penny 
(i3^d.) per pound at a time when there were none 
to be bought, and also reminds me of the orders 
issued that all game is to be shot — no more preserv- 
ing — and at the same time people are allowed no 
ammunition to shoot them. We shall have to sally 
forth with salt to put on their tails and catch them 
that way! It is all very strange! 

Lord Hastings won some big races with his 
horses, including the Grand Prix de Paris, the 
Ascot Derby, with a horse called ''The Earl," and 
three hours later the same afternoon the Ascot 
Bienniel with the same horse. The ''coup" of his 
racing career was achieved when his good little 
horse "Lecturer" won the Caesarevitch in 1866. 
But no winning could compensate him for his losses 



i8 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

when they were in such colossal sums as one hun- 
dred thousand pounds over the Derby of 1867, 
and eighty thousand pounds on the Derby the fol- 
lowing year. He died very shortly after this, 
having been in bad health for some time. He had 
burnt his candle in too many places at once, but he 
was exceedingly generous, hospitable, and no man's 
enemy but his own. It was all very sad and no 
one could help feeling sorry for him. Tempera- 
ment, which is bestowed upon us without our hav- 
ing a voice in the matter, has much to answer for. 
The Meteoric Marquis was for two seasons 
Master of the Quorn, and the erratic conduct that 
characterised his term of office was rather aptly 
described in some verses, generally supposed to 
have been written by the late Lord Rosslyn, to the 
tune of the once popular ballad "Who can tell?" 

"When will the Marquis come? Who can tell? 
Half-past twelve or half-past one? Who can tell? 
Is he sober, is he drunk? Nipping like Myneheer von 

Dunk? 
Will he ride or will he funk? Who can tell? 

Shall we have to wait again? Who can tell? 

In the wind and in the rain ? Who can tell ? 

While the Marquis snug and warm, 

In the hall where toadies swarm, 

Leaves us to the pelting storm ? Who can tell ? 

Where he'll draw by way of a lark, who can tell? 
Gartree Hill or Bradgate Park? Who can tell? 
Sport regarding as a jest, which will suit his fancy best? 
North or south or east or west? Who can tell? 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 19 

Where, oh where ! rings Tailby's horn ? Who can tell ? 

Why came I with this cursed Quorn? Who can tell? 

Marquis, this is not a race, 

Can you look me in the face 

And declare you like the chase? Who can tell?" 

About the same time a clever sketch appeared in 
the old Sporting Gazette. It represented a fine old 
dog fox stealing away from covert with Lord Wil- 
ton and the Marquis of Hastings looking on. It 
was called "A Critical Moment" and the former 
was saying, "Now, Harry, blow away, we shall 
have it all to ourselves." 

To which the other replies, "It's d d fine to 

say blow away, but if I do I shall be sick!" Ha! 
ha ! ha ! 

It caused a great deal of amusement in the shires 
and the entire issue of the paper was sold out in a 
few hours. 

The Sporting Times had an obituary notice on 
Lord Hastings under the heading of "The Spider 
and the Fly." 

Before leaving the subject of Lord Hastings and 
his home, Donnington Hall, I should like to ask if 
anybody knows what has become of the cups he 
won with his more important races, the Ascot, 
Goodwood and Doncaster cups to wit? He died 
without an heir and hopelessly in debt. I should 
like to know what became of the objects he so 
greatly prized. 

I also wonder if the rich German officer named 
interned at Donnington will take a fancy to the 



20 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

place and wish to buy it at the end of hostilities? 

While I have been writing this book we have 
had some escaped German prisoners across this 
property (not Donnington or its neighbourhood). 
They have been captured a few miles from here. 
An officer who was riding a m^otorcycle spotted the 
two men in the last stage of exhaustion, having 
tramped some thirty miles if they had. come as the 
crow flies, which naturally they had not, having to 
dodge about in hiding, which had taken them the 
best part of a week. The moment the cyclist saw 
the men he guessed who they were and noticed 
their accent as they asked their way. He allowed 
them to continue in the direction he had suggested 
to them, and seeing a car coming along the road 
stopped it, asking the occupant to go post haste to 
the next village and inform the police and ask them 
to come at once. It so happened that the man in the 
car was the head dairyman at the Home Farm here 
on the property where I live. He was on his way 
to see a soldier son at a South Coast hospital some 
forty miles away. He at once dashed off, the police 
were soon on the spot, and before many hours 
passed the men were captured, offering no resist- 
ance. Considering their exhausted condition I 
wonder the khaki-clad cyclist did not capture them, 
but no doubt discretion is the greater part of valour. 

This place where I am writing is an ideal spot 
for any runaway to hide in. I have been wonder- 
ing what I should do one day if in our at present 
(during war time) unused garages and stables I 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 21 

come across some German prisoners hiding. It 
would be my duty, I suppose, to give them up to 
justice, but I fear my inclinations would be to give 
them something to eat and drink and then ask them, 
to ''move on" policeman fashion. I should be un- 
able to help putting myself in their place. I should 
so hate to be caught and think anybody who gave 
me away and denounced me such a sneaky skunk. 
Probably I should be murdered for my pains, but 
two skunks would not make my action any less 
skunkish ! 

Those who have seen that famous picture of 
Frith's entitled "The Road to Ruin," which was de- 
picted in four scenes, will perhaps have recognised 
in the Ascot scene some faces amongst those figur- 
ing on the canvas, that of Lord Hastings, for 
instance, as the person betting over the rails with 
the bookmakers. The picture (the original I think) 
eventually found its way into the picture gallery 
of the late Colonel North (who was generally 
known as the "Nitrate King") at Eltham. It struck 
me it might have been an unlucky purchase, for I 
have heard conflicting accounts and theories of his 
death. Some suggested his nitrates had died out 
and that he was in financial difficulties? against 
that I am told he left by will £263,000 net and 
£575,000 gross, which does not sound as if he was 
in any embarrassment. 

He was considered extravagant, but with that 
fortune why should he not be, especially when I 
know as a matter of fact that he befriended a num- 



22 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

ber of people, helping them financially. Some are 
living now, and most ungrateful I have considered 
them. 

He was a kind-hearted little man who knew 
nothing about pictures, little about racehorses, and 
perhaps little about nitrates. 

If I remember rightly, it was to Lady Randolph 
Churchill he told the story of having bought a most 
beautiful painting in oils. When asked the subject 
he replied, "That I do not know, but it is twelve 
feet by eight." At least that is how the story goes. 

At the end of his picture gallery stood an almost 
life-size portrait of himself in the uniform of the 
EHham Yeomanry. He was exceedingly proud of 
this picture which had been painted by Philips, the 
famous portrait and animal painter. I do not think 
either the happiest position or dress was chosen by 
him, or for him. As represented in the picture, 
he was taken full face on horseback, the scarlet 
tunic combined with his rather rosy complexion 
was not attractive. 

I believe he raced more to sell his nitrates than 
for any pleasure he derived from the sport, much 
in the same way as Sir Blundel Maple raced to 
assist the sale of "tables and chairs," which was his 
nickname amongst race-goers. There are wheels 
within wheels in every walk of life. Sir Blundel at 
one time advertised in some of the sporting papers 
that his shop in the Tottenham Court Road was the 
best place for jockeys and trainers to spend their 
earnings ! 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 23 

I must now return to the time when Lady 
Hastings had become the wife of Sir George Chet- 
wynd, and some of the awkward experiences she 
passed through, the Chetwynd versus Durham row 
being one of them. The case will be fresh in the 
memory of many people; it occurred in 1889. 

I have heard it stated that Lord Durham was 
steward of the Jockey Club at the time of the rum- 
pus, but this is quite a mistake; he was not. I 
heard a good deal about this affair from Mr. Jim 
Lowther, who endeavoured to be impartial; also 
from Sir George's wife, who was less impartial. 
Her husband claimed £20,000 damages for what 
he termed a ''scandalous libel," which had been 
uttered at York by Lord Durham following a 
Gimcrack dinner. 

After many Jockey Club consultations and much 
litigation the verdict of one farthing damages was 
awarded to Sir George, each side paying its own 
costs, but Sir George was censured for the lighter 
charges which formed part of the alleged libel and 
exonerated from the graver. He resigned his mem- 
bership of the Jockey Club immediately after this. 

One farthing damages appears to be rather a 
favorite finding for wounded pride in racing dis- 
putes. I remembered another case where that sum 
was awarded, "Wood versus Cox," tried before 
Lord Chief Justice Coleridge and a great array of 
counsel, including Sir Charles Russell, afterwards 
Lord Russell of Killowen. This affair arose out of 
the Licensed Victuallers' Gazette boldly asserting 



24 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

in print that Wood the jockey had "pulled" a 
horse he had been riding in a race, the horse in 
question being named "Success." 

I do not think Wood intended taking any notice 
of this, but the Jockey Club sent for him and asked 
him if it was true that he had pulled the horse, to 
which he replied, "No." Then, said the Jockey 
Club, you must bring an action against the paper to 
clear your character. Of course, there was no 
alternative but to go to law, which resulted in one 
farthing damages. 

During the case, while Wood was in the witness- 
box, the judge coaxingly asked him, "How much 
do you think a jockey could earn in a year?" 

"Ten thousand pounds, my Lord," came the 
answer, which caused the Judge slyly to pass a note 
to Sir Frank Lockwood, saying, "Don't you think 
we had better quit the bench and bar and turn 
jockeys?" 

Sir Frank then set to work at once to sketch 
in his own inimitable style the judge in racing cap 
and jacket, mounted on the most miserable-looking 
caricature of the racehorse "Success." 

The frivolity of judges, counsel and even magis- 
trates, during moments of great anxiety of the 
parties concerned is, I think, rather painful. Truly 
what is one man's meat is another man's poison, 
the one poking fun and finding amusement in what 
may be and often are the most serious moments of 
the lives of plaintiff and defendant. In this case 
Wood claimed £5,000 damages. 




ffi 



y^ 






U 



O 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 25 

Sir George, I know, never got over these two 
cases. He was not implicated in the latter, but his 
horses had been trained in the same stable, Sher- 
rard's at Newmarket, where Wood was the chief 
jockey. 

The amount of sarcasm and anecdotes flying 
about over this case outrivalled the Colin Campbell 
divorce case. Mr. Grain, brother of Corney Grain, 
was full of stories about it, being much interested 
and, if I remember rightly, had something to do 
with the preparing of the case. 

When the Prince of Wales was returning from 
India Sir George Chetwynd went to Egypt to meet 
him, taking a horse called ^'Countryman" with a 
view to holding a race meeting in the desert. He 
backed the horse to win a race against a camel. I 
regret I did not hear, or have forgotten, which won. 

In my opinion Sir George Chetwynd was im- 
petuous, childish, and often obstinate, for which 
in his betting transactions he had to pay; but he 
was a good judge of a handicap. 

Many good men and much good money passed 
through his hands at different times. It was 
towards the end of his racing career that he came 
in touch with Mr. Benzon, the Jubilee Plunger, 
whose betting was so sensational. Indeed so wild 
was it that Sir George determined to try and check 
him. The plan he devised was to get Mr. Green- 
wood, the then "Hotspur" of The Daily Telegraph, 
to talk to the man like a father, and point out how 
foolish it was to gamble in such large sums. In 



26 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

Sir George's presence one day he said to Mr. Ben- 
zon, "Why can't you be content with two or three 
hundred at a time instead of the reckless way you 
bet generally?" ' 

Mr. Benzon listened attentively, promising he 
would take such good advice, but characteristically 
could not resist a bet over it, saying he would bet 
Mr. Greenwood lOO to i that he did not have more 
than 200 on a horse again that meeting. 

Turning away, Mr. Greenwood observed the 
numbers were being hoisted for the next race, and 
there as usual was the incorrigible Benzon at the 
betting rail with his book. Another pageful went 
the same way as the rest — lost ! 

After the race Mr. Greenwood asked Mr. Benzon 
if his advice was working all right, whereupon he 
replied, "Oh, by the way, Greenwood, I am very 
sorry but I owe you a hundred pounds," and at once 
offered the money, but it was not accepted. 

There was a discussion one morning at breakfast 
at Ascot about the height of certain men, which as 
usual ended in a bet. One man bet Lord Lurgan 
was not six feet, and he bet in hats and suits of 
clothes. Later in the day some one was despatched 
to find Lord Lurgan on the course and ask him his 
height. The man returned to say that Lord Lurgan 
had replied if anybody wanted to know his exact 
height they were to go to the War Office as he was 
not quite sure of it, but that they would find he 
measured over six feet when he joined the Guards. 

"What has that to do with it," chimed in the 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 2.y 

man who had betted the hats and suits of clothes, 
"I am not betting on the height he was when he 
entered the Guards, but the height he is at the 
present time. He may have been six feet then but 
since that time he has dropped many inches." 

For the benefit of those who never saw Sir 
George I had better describe him, but no, I cannot 
do better than give a Httle sketch of him taken by 
Finch Mason on Newmarket Heath when riding 
one of his New Forest ponies, his long legs nearly 
touching the ground. It was taken in 1878. Sir 
George was then rather round-backed, but stooped 
much more latterly. 

His racing colours were like himself, a delicate 
shade of straw colour with light blue sleeves and 
cap. He was straw colour and had light blue eyes. 

He lost his wife in 1907. 

For some years before his death, which took 
place quite recently. Sir George did not race, but 
his colours up to the day of his death were, I believe, 
in the Calendar. 

His eldest daughter, a handsome girl, married 
her cousin, the fifth Marquess of Anglesey. I well 
remember what a fool he made of himself soon 
after he married when staying at Nice during Car- 
nival Week. I grieved for his poor young wife. 
Her husband behaved so badly at a ball she went 
to with him that she retired and left him, while a 
little later he was requested to leave the place where 
the ball was being held. I was not surprised she 
decided to leave him to his own devices. 



CHAPTER II 

Dr. Godson's Deal with an Earl — What He Did with his 
Fees — His Words with the Dowager Lady Lonsdale — 
Dr. West's Idea of Tact — Lord Lister Mends some 
Broken Bones — Author introduces him to Sir Monier 
Williams — Anaesthetics in Pharaoh's Time — Sir William 
Jenner and his Son — Sir William Visits the King — Sir 
James Paget's Views of Duty — Dr. Wilkie Collins in 
Trouble — Some Awkward Moments — A Country Prac- 
titioner's Goodness — His Reward — Dr. Yorke Davies 
and the Prince of Wales (King Edward VII) — The 
Prince has Tea with the Author — Meets with a Slight 
Accident — Sir Maurice Fitzgerald — Cardinal Vaughan 
Mistaken for Someone Else — The Fate of Dr. Lavis 
of Beaulieu. 

I FEEL that I have sadly neglected the doctors 
in my last book, and I have, both fortunately 
and unfortunately, made the acquaintance of 
many. There is no profession for which I have so 
great an admiration; it is the calling that perhaps 
comes least before the limelight, yet demands great 
sacrifice from each member. They daily perform 
heroic deeds, burn the candle at both ends, in the 
cause of suflfering humanity, and for what? Not 
applause, they get none, or reward, many get none 
from the world, not for advertisement, but because 

28 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 29 

they love their work, because they feel there is no 
higher calling. 

I am not at the moment thinking of the kind 
old-fashioned country family doctor who had three 
cures for all complaints — castor oil — poultice — or 
the assistance of his useful pocket-knife with which 
he budded roses, cleaned trout when out fishing, 
and operated on his patients — but of the present- 
day highly scientific men with investigating minds 
whose only reward is a nice obituary notice when 
they die, and a knowledge that those dear to them 
may be left wanting the ordinary necessities of life. 

It was only in George ITs reign that the Com- 
pany of Barbers were forbidden from practising the 
art and science of surgery. This sounds like a joke 
but is fact, and can be verified by anyone taking 
the trouble to look up Statute 18, Cap. XV. That 
grand old sporting parson, the Rev. Hugh Palliser 
Costobadie, used to say "Never trust parsons, doc- 
tors or lawyers." As regards the latter I have had 
an experience leading me to the conclusion that 
perhaps his advice was sound, but the lawyer was 
a poor henpecked little man who had to do as he 
was told by his wife, so must be forgiven. As to 
the others, it has been my privilege to come under 
the shadow of some very good men amongst doctors 
and parsons. 

Both doctors and clergymen occasionally find 
themselves in surprisingly tight corners and some- 
times in very amusing ones, at least they appear 
amusing after the event, but are not always very 



30 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

funny at the time. Considering the very intimate 
knowledge doctors acquire of our characters, sins 
and mistakes, when the social mask has been re- 
moved, it speaks well for them that they ever trust 
anybody at all. 

Good and kind Dr. Godson of Grosvenor Street 
was one of the most trustful of men, notwithstand- 
ing his having had from time to time some alarm- 
ing eye-openers. He had a very large practice 
amongst the big-wigs of the land, chiefly ladies, of 
course, he being a ladies' doctor — one of the leading 
men of the day in this line. He had a decided weak- 
ness for high-sounding names, and made no bones 
about it, acknowledged it with charming candour, 
but to those who unfortunately only had more or 
less common or garden names, he was good to me 
all the same ; I suppose he felt he must have a few 
shrimps in his net if he went fishing. 

He once amused me by saying "Half the women 
in London come to me because they want babies, 
and the other half because they don't!" 

The dear rosy-faced little man always looked, as 
Helen Mathers once described it to me, "As if he 
was just going to have a baby himself, or had just 
had one !" 

During one of his visits to me I remarked that 
his horses were looking very sadly. He quite agreed 
and expressed himself as ashamed of their appear- 
ance. He could not understand it, as they had 
belonged to an earl, who strongly advised his buying 
them, saying they were just the thing he wanted. 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 31 

I expressed the opinion that they were hardly 
strong enough for his hard work and long hours 
and that he had paid £100 too much for them, ad- 
vising him to go to some jobmaster and hire his 
horses from him by the year. They would then be 
properly looked after, and when one lot was tired 
a fresh pair would be awaiting him without any 
thought or anxiety on his part. He was very 
pleased with this idea, but rather pained that he 
had been taken in or badly advised by his friend 
the earl. When the name of the peer was given to 
me I was not at all surprised that the horses were 
not satisfactory. 

My friend was strangely slack in all money mat- 
ters. I do not mean by this he owed anything, on 
the contrary always paid up everybody to the last 
farthing, I believe, but he was very careless with 
his earnings. At one time I used to collect old 
clothes from my friends for some poor people I 
was interested in. I asked Dr. Godson if he had 
anything he would be glad to get rid of that my 
maid could cut up and make do for an extremely 
poor clergyman with numerous children and an in- 
valid wife. He presented me with a greatcoat and 
a variety of other useful things. When the first- 
named was being partly unpicked with a view to 
being made smaller for the emaciated parson I was 
wishing to help, from between the coat and the 
lining there rolled out several sovereigns, evidently 
fees he had shoved into his pocket and entirely 
forgotten. When I returned them to him he said, 



32 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

"Oh, keep them for the poor parson, he probably 
wants them more than I do." Yet this doctor 
worked hard for every guinea. 

I remember him once having a few words with 
the late Dowager Lady Lonsdale in my house. It 
appears that she had said something about his treat- 
ment of one of her family not being in accordance 
with her views of the correct thing to do. This 
had reached the ears of Dr. Godson, who was an- 
noyed. One day as he was leaving my house and 
Lady Lonsdale was entering they met. Dr. Godson 
requested her to be careful what she said, and there 
was quite a pow-wow. I effaced myself. 

When the Duchess Paul of Mecklenburg-Schwe- 
rin was so dangerously ill after being thrown out 
of her carriage, I recommended that Dr. Godson 
be sent for. I wonder if he ever was rewarded for 
his services. I know some people had considerable 
difficulty in getting what was owing to them by 
these German royalties. 

Doctors seem to resent this sort of treatment less 
than most people. I remember Dr. Godson telling 
me as quite a good joke about his having been 
routed out of bed after a tiring day and told his 
services were required at the Hotel Metropole, a 
lady visiting there having been taken very ill. 
When he arrived, he found she was very danger- 
ously ill, and a young and devoted husband (?) on 
the verge of madness with grief. He attended this 
beauteous lady for several days, wresting her from 
the jaws of death, receiving many grateful thanks 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 33 

from her husband. They appeared to be people 
of considerable means and were living in luxury. 
One morning when he went to pay a visit, consider- 
ing his patient still too ill to get up or be left unat- 
tended, he was told they had gone from the hotel, 
paid their bill, but left no address ! He never heard 
anything more of them or of their gratitude. 

Dr. West, the great children's doctor, was latterly 
rather a foolish person I thought, and very much 
spoilt. He came to see a small boy of mine who 
was at death's door, being called in to see if he 
could find out what was the matter, as many doctors 
were puzzled. He knew no more than the rest, if as 
much, and after expressing it as his opinion that 
while there was ''life there was hope," he began 
tituping downstairs, shaking his bunches of grey 
hair as he frisked, and saying, "Now I am on my 
way to see a most important baby, a little Roths- 
child." My sister, who was with me at the time, 
suggested perhaps my baby was as important to 
me as the Rothschild baby to his people. To this 
he replied cheerfully, "Oh, yes! Quite so, quite 
so," and continued tituping down the stairs. 

At one time when a horse had inconsiderately 
rolled over me. Sir Joseph Lister (afterwards Lord 
Lister) came to set some broken bones. I thought 
him a very charming man, but he could not put a 
bandage on properly. I suppose he had forgotten 
how to do anything so elementary. I wanted to 
go to a bonesetter named Hutton, who was rather 
famous at that time, but Dr. Priestley dissuaded me. 



34 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

I remember having an animated discussion with 
Sir Joseph as to who had really invented anaes- 
thetics. It was a subject that interested me, be- 
cause I once had the advantage of having some 
ancient Egyptian manuscripts translated to me by 
Sir Monier Williams, Professor of Sanscrit at 
Oxford, who had a great knowledge of dead lan- 
guages. These documents referred to a "root of 
the earth" and certain herbs which were used in 
the time of the Pharaohs to deaden pain and cause 
people to go into a temporary sleep or trance. From 
the description we came to the conclusion it was an 
anaesthetic something after the fashion of chloro- 
form. Sir Monier thought it quite possible some 
ancient warriors had been buried alive while under 
the influence of these tieatments. There was also 
a description curiously expressed of how they 
stopped bleeding by the application of certain birds' 
nests and cobwebs. From, the documents trans- 
lated to me I gathered the ancient Egyptians were 
the inventors of anaesthetics, and not our later-day 
physicians, though no doubt they improved upon 
them. 

In consequence of this conversation Sir Joseph 
said he would much like to meet Sir Monier, and I 
arranged this. I had hoped to hear much of inter- 
est, but they became so highly technical I was lost, 
and, as I could not interrupt them with questions, 
they forgot all about poor me. I came to the con- 
clusion it is an ungrateful world! 

When I was starting for India, Sir William 




^^isr*' 



Sir Williuni Jcnncr 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 35 

Jenner, who I always thought looked like a Japan- 
ese, but who of course was nothing of the kind, 
came to see me and said his son was in the 9th 
Lancers out there and that I should be sure of see- 
ing him. Knowing India to be a largish place I 
had some doubts about this. It so happened, how- 
ever, that I did run across Mr. Jenner before very- 
long, in one of the hill stations, sure rendezvous in 
the hot weather. Mr. Jenner was a smart, good- 
looking youth, very musical, and he played the 
piano exceedingly well. He is now the reigning 
baronet. He married one of Sir Donald Stewart's 
cheery daughters. 

Sir William Jenner the doctor was a favourite at 
Court, having attended the Prince Consort in his 
last illness and the Prince of Wales at Sandring- 
ham; being made a baronet and K.C.B. in return 
for devoted services. Queen Victoria took a per- 
sonal interest in him and his affairs. 

I have heard it stated that Sir William was the 
discoverer of vaccination, which is quite a mistake. 
A man named Jenner of another family and the 
Christian name of Edward was the benefactor of 
mankind by this discovery. 

Sir William Jenner, however, established the 
difference between typhoid and typhus fevers in 
1851. 

Another leading light in the profession. Sir 
James Paget, came down to the Isle of Wight to 
see my sister once, and I met him several times after 
that. He had not the comfortable round-about- 



36 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

waistcoat of Sir William Jenner, indeed he looked 
as if he had no inside at all, he was so thin, and he 
walked leaning over the vacuum as if missing its 
support. 

I liked to hear him, talk of his early life and 
struggles. The high pinnacle of fame he climbed 
left him quite unspoilt; he was a stern-mannered, 
highly conscientious man, but devoid of that saving 
clause in life, a sense of humour. He was painfully 
matter-of-fact, and if by chance one made a joke, 
it was necessary to go through the ordeal of explain- 
ing it, and after that he rewarded by a smile that 
plainly said, "what deplorable waste of time." Sir 
James made a great name for himself as a surgeon, 
and was eminently a practical man. 

He told me that in his practice he felt it his 
duty not only to satisfy himself with his physical 
examination; but must satisfy the patient with 
therapeutic value, for, he added, "what may be 
quite satisfactory to the doctor's mind may not be 
by any means so satisfactory to the patient's." 
Another point he considered of importance was to 
steer clear of patients' prejudices. He spoke with 
much feeling of the way doctors are often thrown 
down by the nurses on whom they have to rely for 
accurate information. 

Hippocrates, the unrivalled genius of twenty- 
three hundred years or more, says, "Our natures 
are the physicians of our diseases." Not being an 
unrivalled genius I prefer relying on my medical 
man. 




Sir James Paget 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 37 

Sir James Paget was sent for when the late Earl 
of Minto had such a terrible fall in his earlier days 
while riding in the Grand National. The impres- 
sion was that his neck was broken, yet, thanks to 
the great surgeon's skill, his patient recovered. 

Some years later when Lord Minto went to see 
Sir James on another matter, the surgeon referred 
to the accident of bygone days, saying, "Well, all 
I can say is you are one of those extraordinary 
people who has broken his neck and recovered," 
adding meditatively, "It is most valuable." 

Lord Minto replied, 'T will leave that portion of 
my anatomy to you, Sir James, in my will." 

"Oh, I shall be dead long before you, but the 
College of Surgeons would very much like to have 
it, I can assure you." 

It was a very curious accident and a curious re- 
covery. For months Lord Minto was practically 
a cripple, the muscles of his neck shrank, pulling 
his head down on one side, he suffered great pain 
in his shoulder and arm, never quite losing the 
latter to the end of his days. In spite of this and 
the entreaties of his friends he would ride again a 
few months later and had another bad fall in 
November, the first having been in March. 

Then there was poor Wilkie Collins of Cadogan 
Place, the smart little doctor of the Guards, which 
regiment I forget. His name was not Wilkie really, 
but his initial being "W" he was known as Wilkie 
Collins, a sort of nickname of general liking, and 
after the novelist, with whom, however, he was in 



38 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

no way related. Dr. Collins' expenses were bigger 
than his banking account and this led to trouble, 
partly from borrowing and partly from anxiety to 
make some money quickly. That he helped many 
a poor soul in trouble I know, and after all where 
there is a demand there will always be a supply, 
try and suppress it as you may. I was very sorry 
for him latterly, he was in such low water before 
the final crash, when he had to retire from the 
world. 

One day I was trying to remember the name of a 
patient of his that I knew quite well, but could not 
for the moment recall, so I said, "Oh, help me, do? 
You know who I mean quite well." He replied, 
*T make a point of never remembering the names 
of any of my patients!" There was obviously no 
more to be said. 

Another doctor living in the south-west district 
spent the best part of an afternoon one wet day in 
a small hotel by the riverside amusing me with 
stories of dilemmas in which he had found himself 
during his medical career. Whether he was pecu- 
liarly unfortunate, or whether it is habitual to the 
profession, I cannot say, but I think doctors and 
parsons often find themselves in awkward corners. 
The man I am thinking of ended by being one of 
the learned men called to the bedside of Royalties 
when ill. 

I knew him first in 1880. He was rather an 
attractive-looking person, and, in spite of the sad- 
ness of his profession, full of mirth and humour. 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 39 

He told me the first difficulty he got into was with 
a nurse in the hospital where he was studying. He 
described the situation amusingly. No matter how 
he tried to avoid her she zvonld faint in his arms 
just as someone came around the corner, until he 
made up his mind he would have to be brutal. Even 
that was no use, so he persuaded another student 
to wean her away from him and, upon his express- 
ing his jealousy of her perfidy, he got out of the 
mess. He could, he vowed, have nothing more to 
do with a woman who did not know her own mind 
for five minutes together, etc. There followed 
tears and tempests and then out on to the open sea 
in calm water once more. 

The next trouble he encountered was when he 
began practising. A young woman he was asked to 
attend for hallucinations thought she had fallen 
violently in love with him, and spent her time in 
writing the most compromising letters and insisted 
on embracing him whenever he entered the room, 
until at last he explained to the girl's father it would 
be better for her to have a fresh doctor. Mean- 
while some domestic at home, under notice of leave, 
spent her leisure hours in piecing these letters to- 
gether and holding them over his head, a sort of 
blackmail business, saying she would let everybody 
know how he behaved with his patients. Having 
just been married, this was very awkward and very 
nearly caused an estrangement between him and his 
bride. 

With these and other stories he passed away an 



40 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

afternoon for me that would otherwise have been 
dull, as I was doing "gooseberry" to a girl friend 
and her "young man," so had to be in evidence yet 
out of sight so to speak. None of us could go on 
the river as it poured with rain, and I had not the 
heart to take the girl home again when she was 
having a good time. 

I must not forget that interesting character Sir 
Henry Thompson, surgeon, epicure and collector of 
old Nankin china, who lived in Wimpole Street. 

He suffered from diabetes, and used to spend a 
good deal of time at the Royal Marine Hotel in the 
Isle of Wight, where I also have been a frequent 
visitor. He used to arrive with a large consign- 
ment of a particular biscuit he considered good for 
his complaint. They were most unsatisfying, much 
like eating a kid glove. 

The doctor's dinners in Wimpole Street, or his 
octaves, as he used to call them, the number being 
limited to eight, were much appreciated by his 
friends and invitations sought after. 

Lady Dorothy Nevill told him she would like to 
be asked. "Certainly," said Sir Henry, "but you 
will have to wear trousers." 

Sir Henry was a firm believer in cremation ; and 
had a good deal to do with forming the company 
that erected the crematorium at Golders Green in 
1902. 

An excellent cartoon appeared of him in a paper 
called The Throne, that was edited by a Royalty 
and run by the "Upper Ten." 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 41 

He operated successfully on Napoleon III, but 
his patient was in too weak a state to recover from 
the anaesthetic. 

Sir Henry was not a man of many words. To 
his patients his advice to many was "Live on six- 
pence a week and earn it." 

In spite of bad health he lived the allotted span 
and was a most abstemious man. 

It has been reserved for me to meet the most 
delightful and most clever doctor of my life in my 
autumn days, besides being the kindest hearted and 
most conscientious man I have ever met, added to 
which he has the delicate mind of a high art 
magazine. 

Doctors are a wonderful crowd, they spend their 
lives doing good with their right hands and not 
allowing their left to know it. The man I am 
thinking of is wonderful in this respect and a 
delightful companion, being exceptionally well- 
informed and interested in everything. He will 
take infinite pains to soften the blows fate loves to 
shower on unfortunate humanity. I will call this 
friend Dr. M. Soon after he was married, when 
very pleased with himself, his wife, his home and 
the world, Christmas came around. What he 
would have liked to do was to spend it in his own 
home, but a patient, who was too ill to care for 
having anyone round her except her own people, 
v/ho were all far away, was alone. Dr. M. turned 
up to sit with her for a while and help her to forget 



42 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

the bygone days when, with health and dear ones 
around her, Christmas had been a happy time. 

On another occasion a poor girl I knew was very 
ill, and there appeared to be nobody responsible. 
I found this kind man spending his time and energy 
on her day after day, and when I asked him who 
was going to pay him he said, ''Nobody, I look upon 
her as one of God's patients." 

Yet even this great soul could not escape some of 
the awkward situations that seem, inevitable to doc- 
tors, especially those with kind hearts. He lives 
in a small country village where he is sought out by 
those both near and far. There came into the 
country one day a smart lady who rented a house 
a few miles from where the doctor lived, and she 
asked him to attend her in her approaching ac- 
couchement. This was arranged satisfactorily. 
No husband appeared on the scenes. This Hon. 

Mrs. , as she called herself, had only a maid 

with her, but soon settled into the little house she 
was renting for a few months. 

One day the doctor was sent for hastily, as the 
infant insisted on making its appearance before it 
was expected. The lady was very ill and the doctor 
had an anxious time with her, added to which in 
the midst of everything the maid decamped and he 
was left alone to be mother to the lady, nurse to 
the baby and general servant. After washing and 
dressing the infant and attending to its mother, 
the doctor went off to telegraph for a trained nurse 
and a domestic of sorts. Thanks to his goodness 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 43 

and resourcefulness all went well, and he thought 
the lady very charming. 

At the end of a fortnight the invalid declared her 
intention of going to town on urgent business. The 
doctor objected, thinking her not sufficiently recov- 
ered after being so ill, but she went in spite of all 
his protestations, taking the baby with her. She 
returned no more; the rent was unpaid, the doctor 
unpaid, and most of the tradespeople in the same 
predicament. What made it harder was that the 
nurse had to be paid by the doctor who had sent 
for her, also the car which brought her out many 
miles into the country! After this experience en- 
quiries were made, and it was found this same game 
had been played before elsewhere, and everybody 
left unpaid. 

Some time after this little ten days' wonder had 
subsided, the doctor happened to be in London and 
going somewhere by Tube. When he got out at 
his station he found himself face to face with the 

so-called Hon. Mrs. who had played him the 

trick. When he told me of this meeting I naturally 
enquired what he said on the occasion, and he con- 
fessed he was so taken by surprise that he said 
nothing beyond asking after her health ! 

Oh! who would be a doctor? What surprises 
they get sometimes ! There was one doctor in India 
who attended me when I was so ill that it was 
thought I could not possibly recover, I do not 
remember much about it at the time, but dear Padre 
Adams, the V.C. parson, was by my bedside, my 



44 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

husband weeping on my pillow, the doctor with 
folded arms standing at the foot of the bed awaiting 
the end, when in a moment of returning conscious- 
ness the Padre asked me if there was anything he 
could do for me, if there was anything I would like 
to tell him. All were breathlessly waiting to hear 
me say I left all my worldly goods to the Home for 
Lost Dogs, or some such thing, when I am told 1 
said, 'T want some shrimps!" I remember I had 
been grieving before I became too ill, thinking I 
should never again go shrimping or paddle with my 
little bairns, so I suppose shrimps were on my mind. 

One doctor, I forget which, told me of a poor 
woman he had been called in to see. When he 
arrived she was propped up in a kitchen-chair out- 
side her cottage door. In a moment he saw she 
was past any help of his. He asked what had been 
done for her, and was told, "We picked her up, 
gave her water to drink, burnt feathers under her 
nose, and every other form of restitution we could 
think of!" 

On another occasion the same doctor had been 
sent for to the bedside of a poor man he had been 
attending "for love." He found the forbidding- 
looking old wife sitting by the side of her straight 
and stiff-looking husband who was lying on the bed 
with his face covered up. She held her apron to 
her eyes and, when she saw the doctor coming, 
rocked herself backwards and forwards with more 
pronounced grief, saying, "He gas gorne, doctor, 
he has gorne." . . . (Sobs.) 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 45 

"And I 'ave been a good wife to him that I 
'ave!" From the bed came a feeble voice, '^Pretty 
well, Mary — only pretty well." 

It is difficult to say v/hy some doctors are to-day 
distinguished ornaments to their profession. They 
do not know themselves how it happened any more 
than many learned, clever and lovable men can say 
why they are still in obscurity, except that some 
seem to prefer it. 

One of the things that strikes me as most strange 
in this highly complex civilisation of which we 
boast, is that certain folks have to make their livings 
out of other people's sufferings — doctors to wit. It 
seems all wrong. 

I have come to the conclusion that only a good 
man can be a good doctor, and I am more glad 
than I can find words to express that before the 
end of my days I have met so good, kind and con- 
scientious a man as my friend Dr. M. It is an 
uplifting experience to meet someone you can thor- 
oughly respect. Gifts of mind are more dazzling 
than sound. 

Doctors are weighed in the balance as no other 
men are, and they get rusty more quickly than in 
any other profession. It is well they should re- 
member how eagerly the sick and the feeble gather 
up the crumbs from the table of the strong and of 
those experienced in sickness. 

I do not remember exactly how many years ago 
it was that a new medical luminary shone out in 
Harley Street. He became the hope and joy of the 



46 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

over-plump, ranging from the late King Edward 
VII to my humble self. The name of this benefac- 
tor was Dr. Yorke-Davies, and although the prin- 
ciple of his system is now pretty well known, it 
struck us at the time as very novel and exciting. 

Roughly outlined he reduced people's weight by 
letting them eat as much as they wanted, only of 
non-fattening foods. Hitherto we had associated 
weight reducing with banting, running in blankets, 
or woolly jerseys and such-like discomforts. 

Under the new system we were all allowed plenty 
of satisfying things to eat, and had the comfort of 
thinking we were not adding fuel to the fire of 
increasing weight. We all bought the sweetest 
things in weighing machines under the doctor's 
orders, and weekly recorded our loss of weight on 
elaborate weight and diet forms. 

In 1895, when the Prince of Wales had developed 
a very noticeable amplitude of figure and during 
his visit to Homburg, that he expressed a wish to 
try Dr. Yorke-Davies' weight reducing methods. It 
so happened that the doctor was in Homburg at the 
time. 

Colonel Stanley Clarke therefore wrote a note 
asking him, if he would call, or in Royal parlance 
commanded him to call at Ritter's Park Hotel, 
where the Prince was staying. At that time he 
turned the scales at 16 stone 4 pounds. 

Dr. Davies visited the patient daily, advising him 
as to diet, with the result that during those few 




Dr. Nathaniel Yorke-Davies 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 47 

short weeks at Homburg his Royal Highness lost 
twenty pounds, and felt miles better for it. 

In 1896 the doctor again attended the Prince at 
Marlborough House. 

I remember His Royal Highness remarking to 
me one day that he found it very difficult to adhere 
strictly to the diet allowed him, saying jokingly that 
he was only allowed the oyster out of a mutton chop 
and dry toast for dinner. I said under those cir- 
cumstances would he condescend to dine with us as 
I felt sure we could provide that simple fare! As 
usual the Prince did not lose the opportunity of say- 
ing something courteous and kind, asking if he 
might come to tea instead as he felt it would be an 
insult to my cook not to be able to eat the good 
things for which he was so famous ; he would like to 
keep that pleasure in store for a time when not on a 
special diet. 

A few days later I received a note from Colonel 
Stanley Clarke fixing a Sunday for our little tea 
party; his Royal Highness arrived punctually at 
the hour that had been named, accompanied by Sir 
Maurice Fitzgerald. 

I have never forgotten that tea, for a dreadful 
thing happened. I was showing to the Prince some 
Indian photographs he was anxious to see. The 
light was not very good and I asked Sir Maurice 
if he would pull dov/n a little lower the lamp sus- 
pended above my head. This was done, enabling 
us to see better, but we forgot to push it up again, 
so when the Prince stood up to take his departure 



48 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

he bumped his head, it was a swinging lamp happily, 
but gave him an unpleasant blow all the same. 

The Prince laughed and made a joke of it, but 
I felt much distressed, and so did Sir Maurice 
Fitzgerald. 

The first time I met handsome Sir Maurice, with 
his dark dare-devil eyes, was when having tea at 
Cowes with the Custs, where he and Lady Sefton 
joined us. On our return to town he came to one 
of my Sunday afternoons when anybody and every- 
body could come who felt kindly disposed towards 
me. It so happened that the room was very full 
and I was struggling to entertain, with my rather 
sketchy French, dear old Rustem. Fasha, at that 
time (1885) Turkish Ambassador in London, so I 
had no time to give impressive personal greetings 
to everybody. As soon as I was free for a moment 
Sir Maurice came and sat down beside me, saying, 
*'Am I in disgrace, you have not spoken to me all 
the afternoon?" I suggested that I could not well 
shout at him across the heads of other friends, and 
I would now make up for lost time by saying how 
pleased I was to see him, and that it was nice to 
feel he was there even if he could not get near 
enough to converse, etc. He was not quite happy 
even then and said, "I believe somebody has been 
telling tales about me ; they have now, haven't they ? 
I know someone has been telling you I am a rude, 
bold, bad man !" I told him of course they had, but 
that the story was of such old standing I had 
entirely recovered from the shock. 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 49 

I remember the Prince saying to me the year 
"Persimmon" won the Derby, I think it was 1896, 
how he wished he were a plain Mr. Jones, and able 
to go to the Derby and have a little bet and be 
able to sneeze without having it all chronicled in 
the evening papers. 

I am told that "Persimmon" was so called after 
the tree of that name, which came originally from 
America. It is rather like the cocoa palm, the bark 
being tessellated like tiles all the way up. The 
foliage being at the extreme top, like the trees we 
used to find in our Noah's arks when we were 
children. 

There is a good specimen of the tree in Kew 
Gardens standing close to one of the temples, and 
the tree that was planted from the grave of the first 
Napoleon. 

Some friends were sitting near this tree one day 
when a 'Arry and his 'Arriet came round the corner 
arm in arm, and stopped in front of the tree. 
'Arry scratched his head looking long and earn- 
estly at the name on the tree, then turning with an 
enlightened smile to his love said, "Well, I am 
blessed if they 'ave not been and named this 'ere 
tree after the Prince of Wiles 'orse." 

The subject of Dr. Yorke-Davies has led me into 
others until he has been entirely left behind; it is 
difficult with such a crowd of memories of all sorts 
and kinds not to branch off to other people, who 
have come on my stage about the same time. 

The last time I sawj Dr. Yorke-Davies was at 



50 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

Beaulieu in the Riviera. Dr. Lavis, an English- 
man living in that little village, who had married a 
French wife and made his home in France, was 
teasing him about his figure, saying he was not a 
good advertisement for the theories he preached. 
Dr. Yorke-Davies took the chaff in good part and, 
while pulling down his waistcoat and holding in his 
lower chest, replied laughingly, "You must allow 
weight for age." He has also been known to give 
another reply when teased about his figure, "He 
who drives fat cattle should himself be fat." 

There was really fio occasion to tease the poor 
man about his figure, he was nothing more than 
"comfortable"; but he so enjoyed a good dinner 
that it gave an opening to his friends to chaff him. 

Mrs. Stannard of "Bootle's Baby" fame was an- 
other patient who swore by Dr. Davies' treatment ; 
he certainly did wonders for her. Besides being 
clever in reducing weight without drugs of any 
kind, he had a pleasant manner, always looked 
clean, smart and well dressed. He was very proud 
of his beautiful wife; I remember seeing her at 
Monte Carlo once, bicycling on her way to Nice, 
she was even then a beautiful woman after the 
stress and storm of many years. 

Dr. Davies' butler used to fill me with admira- 
tion. Instead of the funeral black that is usually 
worn by butlers, he answered the door in exceed- 
clothes which he carried with impressive dignity as 
ingly well-cut and fitting pepper and salt mufti 
behove a person accustomed to announcing "all 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 51 

mighty big wigs." His tie and collar were things 
of beauty, and his boots, I have never seen anything 
so smart on a servant before. This beauteous 
person had been in the family many years, and had 
grown more or less confidential. 

One day when Cardinal Vaughan arrived with- 
out this servant having been acquainted of his 
expected visit, he showed the prelate into the wait- 
ing-room in the usual w^ay asking his name. The 
servant sought his master saying, "A Colonel 
Vaughan wished to see him," at the same time re- 
marking (owing to the fact that the ''Colonel" was 
robed), *T think he must be a colonel of the Salva- 
tion Army!" 

Dr. Lavis, to whom I have referred, was killed 
in a motor accident in the early part of the great 
war. 

The famous physician Sir William Gull, also had 
an amusing butler. A patient of importance call- 
ing one day to see Sir William was told by the butler 
that his master was too busy to see anybody without 
previous appointment; he added, ''We are full up, 
but there is another fellow across the way whom 
you might see, we have a good opinion of him." 
The "other fellow" happened to be Sir William 
Tenner ! 

When Sir William Gull was attending the then 
Prince of Wales when he nearly died of typhoid, 
the Duke of Connaught observing him to be busy 
with a pencil on the back of a telegraph form asked 
what he was doing. The doctor replied, *T am 



52 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

making a sketch bearing the inscription 'Don't talk 
to the man at the wheel.' " The poor man while 
attending to his patient had evidently been some- 
what harassed by too much conversation. 

Sir William had engaged a special and favourite 
nurse for his Royal patient and had left her in 
charge while he prowled up and down outside to be 
ready if wanted; before long, she came rushing 
after him to say that she had observed a sudden 
change and that the patient was dying. Evidently 
her nerves were upset by her great anxiety and 
responsibility, for, as a matter of fact, this was the 
turning-point, and from that moment the Prince 
began to recover and quickly reached convalescence. 
The first thing he asked for was a glass of beer, 
which was promptly supplied. 

I also remember when women doctors sought to 
become the fashion, and I asked the advice of one 
after a fast trotter of ours had fast trotted us into 
a carriage and pair. This resulted in our being all 
curled up in the middle of the street at Torquay, 
while the gee, with what remained of the dog-cart, 
retired into a butcher's shop that was at hand. 

I journeyed to town, allowed the she-male doctor 
to treat me and vowed that for ever more I would 
pin my faith to my old friend the man, for indeed 
I met with very rough handling. Perhaps the lady 
felt I ought to carry away something by which to 
remember my visit — she succeeded. 

If I had ever aspired to become a fashionable 
west-end doctor, I should have made it my business 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 53 

to specialise in some interesting and mentionable 
complaint, prescribing treatment that lent itself to 
dinner table discussion; for who wants to pay big 
fees for a treatment so unspeakably unromantic that 
it cannot be discussed at dinner ! 

If I am asked to name some suitable malady for 
discussion, I shall reply as some of my friends do 
in "The House," 'T must have notice of that 
question." If after that I find myself in deep water 
I shall catch the Speaker's eye and get him to rule 
it out of order. 



CHAPTER III 

I make a List of People's Kinks — And Lose it — Lord Ex- 
mouth's Peculiarities — A Dinner with a Professor — His 
Feelings are Hurt — A Colonel gets Kicked — A Tactful 
Official's Untactful Wife— A Lady with a Religious Ma- 
nia — She Speaks Her Mind in Church — An Organ- 
Grinder Viscount — Lord Poulett's Dream — Some Vari- 
eties of Fabricators. 

I HAD intended writing a classified chapter on 
the people I have met with kinks, but I find 
the infirmities of the human mind so numer- 
ous that I have had to abandon the idea and give 
only a few examples. 

I had not been launched upon the world very long 
before I came to the conclusion that it was advisable 
to make memoranda of the peculiarities of the 
people I stayed with from time to time; it saved 
awkward moments. I also made notes of the sub- 
jects most interesting to my hosts and hostesses. 
I thought I was becoming very grown-up and 
business-like, unfortunately I was not sufficiently 
business-like to make my notes in cipher, and was 
horrified to find when staying with the Exmouths 
(fourth Viscount) at Canonteign, that I had lost 
the list. I had been studying it in the train, and 
remembered putting it back with my purse in my 

54 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 55 

little handbag. I was much worried, wondering 
whether I had pulled it out with my pocket-hand- 
kerchief at tea-time in the drawing-room, or what 
on earth had become of it. I wished with all my 
heart that I had not amused myself by making 
sketches of some of my friends, with would-be 
facetious remarks and jokes beneath them. 

My first evening was entirely spoilt by my 
anxiety in trying to remember if I had said any- 
thing very compromising about anybody. Lord 
Exmouth's little peculiarities were soon recalled to 
my mind by his wife coming into my bedroom when 
retiring for the night and asking me not to stir the 
fire, saying, 'Tt so worries Exmouth." Apparently 
his trained ear enabled him to locate anything of 
this kind taking place in any part of the house. His 
spirit of economy was what caused the poking of 
the fires to annoy him. 

At one time I saw a good deal of this little man. 
My sister was the attraction. I was acting 
chaperon. He seldom came alone, but accompa- 
nied by his brother ; the latter fell to me to entertain. 
The brothers were both very short (I should think 
under five feet high, but I am not a great judge of 
height), round-faced, and like Sir John Tenniel's 
picture of "Tweedle-dum" and 'Tweedle-dee" in 
"Alice Through the Looking-glass," who agreed to 
have a battle when Tweedle-dum said Tweedle-dee 
had spoilt his nice new rattle. Unfortunately, my 
suggestion of a likeness to Tweedle-dum and 
Tweedle-dee got noised abroad, and for long the 



56 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

young men were spoken of by these absurd names. 
This was, of course, before Lord Exmouth mar- 
ried. At that time he and his brother the Hon. 
William Pellew, were living with their mother, 
Mrs. Pellew-Bradshaw. She had married a second 
time. I remember thinking her second choice a 
very handsome man. 

The necessity for being primed about my friends' 
hobbies, interests, and kinks had been impressed 
upon me very early in my married life when my 
husband was trotting me out before all his relations, 
and I was expected to show my paces. I strongly 
objected to these visits, but as they seemed to give 
infinite pleasure to mj lord and master I did my 
best to show off nicely. 

The visit in my mind was only to dine with the 
learned Professor North and his wife, a little family 
party. I had stupidly forgotten to ask what this 
relative was professor of until it was too late. All 
through dinner I kept hedging to try and find out 
but without success, I looked appealingly towards 
my husband hoping he would grasp the situation, 
but he was busy talking secrets about me; a fact 
I gathered from the way they kept looking in my 
direction and nodding their heads. The Professor 
tried hard to come off his lofty pedestal and talk 
down to my common or garden intellect. I tried 
once more, **Your work nust be very interesting; 
do tell me something about it?" Receiving in reply, 
"It is very interesting to me. And what is your 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 57 

next festivity?" It was no use, so I plunged into 
everyday topics. 

However, I had evidently made an impression, 
for after dinner instead of retiring to his den as his 
wife said was his habit, he invited me to see where 
he worked. At the first glance there was nothing 
in his study that was helpful as indicating the na- 
ture of his work. Through the open French win- 
dows looking on to a piece of garden I observed a 
queer edifice. To this he drew my attention, saying 
with evident pride: 'T made that myself." It looked 
like a glorified meat-safe, and I congratulated him 
on building such a big, useful one. There was a 
pause, I had evidently said the wrong thing. In a 
voice I recognised as the kind we adopt when seri- 
ously annoyed yet trying not to show it, he said, "It 
is not a meat-safe, that is my observatory." He 
beamed on me no longer. I tried hard to put it 
right, said I had not meant that was a meat-safe, 
but something else altogether; he was now most 
uncompromising and wanted to know what other 
thing I meant ? Wretched man ! Thank goodness 
my husband, growing bored with his relatives in the 
drawing-room, came to look for his bride and 
helped to change the conversation, but I had the 
humiliating sensation of having been gauche, of 
having displayed my ignorance, and effaced the 
good impressions I had been making. 

I was learning to be tactful when an old Colonel 
friend of my husband's came to dine with us. We 
were a small party of eight and sitting at a round 



58 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

table. Conversation turned on a curious case of 
cruelty to children that had been in the papers, not 
of a hardworked poor woman in a moment of tired 
exasperation beating a tiresome child, but a woman 
in our own class of life who systematically ill- 
treated a little daughter, shutting her up in a dark 
cupboard with her arms tied up above her head and 
keeping her without food until a governess or ser- 
vant, I forget which, reported the case to the So- 
ciety for Prevention of Cruelty to Children. My 
husband was saying what he should like to do to 
the woman in question when I saw the subject was 
distasteful to my old Colonel sitting beside me, so 
I aimed a healthy kick under the table at my good 
man's legs and made faces at him. All the effect 
my tactfulness had was to make my man ask me if 
I had swallowed a bone or something, and a smoth- 
ered yell from the Colonel whose gouty legs were 
stretching in the direction I expected to find those 
of my husband! My man told me afterwards he 
had tucked his under his chair, as whenever he 
moved them he found himself in contact with the 
Colonel's. On making enquiries we found the cruel 
mother was a near relation of the kicked Colonel. 
Kinky and tactless people make me tremble at 
times. I knew in India a very charming official at 
that time Governor of the North-West Provinces. 
He was the essence of tactfulness and kept all 
around him happy by his carefully chosen words 
and considerations. He married a wife who was 
most anxious to help him and add to his popularity, 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 59 

but she sadly lacked that sympathy which enables 
people to know what to say and what not to say. 
They were giving a big dinner to all the local society 
of the place. The chief civilian of the neighborhood 
was seated beside the hostess, who, by way of mak- 
ing polite conversation to her, remarked, "What 
excellent asparagus you have, Lady " 

"I am so glad you like it," she replied, "but it 
is only tinned. My husband said that was quite 
good enough for the people up here." 

The unhappy husband little knew the amount of 
trouble the wife of his bosom was creating for him. 

The peculiarities of the late Duke of Portland are 
common property, but I do not think it is generally 
known that once at Welbeck he ordered all the maid- 
servants to appear for his amusement on roller 
skates in the riding school. He was highly enter- 
tained, for most of them entered on all fours, and 
some even less elegantly. 

When moving from one property to another he 
had his carriage drawn up at a side entrance so that 
none might look at him ; the servants had to remain 
seated on the box, eyes front, while their master 
popped in and drew the blinds down or they had 
been drawn previously, I forget which, and away 
they went gaily to the station, where the carriage 
was moved on to a truck and thus the eccentric 
duke travelled. 

Once the servants thinking there was no one in 
the carriage but not daring to look, left the coach 
shunted on to a siding and went off to a public- 



6o FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

house to enjoy themselves. In the early hours they 
returned to the carriage to find something was 
being said behind the blinds and some awful threats 
found their way on to the air ! 

Sir Charles Dilke had a funny fad, he was pur- 
sued by the idea that he would one day have to 
fight a duel. Though quite the last person ever to 
dream of doing such a thing, nevertheless he spent 
a good deal of his spare time preparing for the 
event. He practised in the garden behind his house 
in Sloane Street, either with the foils or I'epee. 

He had a great regard for his inner man, and was 
fond of inventing new dishes and eating them, 
which at times upset his tummy and temper. When 
in India his attempts to interest Lord Roberts in 
recondite dishes was pathetic, as well as highly un- 
productive. 

I was talking to him once after his social uphea- 
val, and was venturing to suggest where I thought 
he had made a mistake when he amused me by 
saying, *Tf the ivy will cling to the oak, what is the 
oak to do." I suggested the oak should at least be 
chivalrous if it went gallivanting. Latterly most of 
the society he entertained was foreign. 

Then there was Lord Roberts' kink about cats. 
I ought in my last volume to have mentioned their 
predilection for him, which quite threw down my 
theory that children and animals always know by 
instinct who cares for them. 

It was quite a usual custom for hostesses, when 
General "Bobs" was dining with them, to give 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 6i 

orders for all the cats on the premises to be shut up 
in rooms, or baskets, until the visit was over, and 
it really was extraordinary the way they managed 
to get out, and always rushed for him. The story 
I told in my last volume of the time when he was 
walking up and down the deck and felt so uneasy 
though unable to see a cat anywhere, puss was 
walking step for step above his head. It was quite 
uncanny ! 

The late Sir William Eraser, a talented and re- 
markable man, was yet very eccentric, and used to 
try the forbearance of his fellow-members in the 
Carlton Club considerably. He was a man of 
wealth, but used to drive up daily from his suburban 
home in Clapham to the club in a shabby old vic- 
toria, with the waterproof apron, hood, and cur- 
tains beloved by our great-grand-parents. In those 
days they had a passion for curtains on their beds, 
I presume for delicacy, and quite possibly for the 
same reason on the victorias. 

One of the habits his fellow-members of the Carl- 
ton found trying was the way he would bring a 
cage of dormice out of his pocket when at meals 
in the dining-room. He was perfectly aware of his 
unpopularity, describing himself as a yellow spar- 
row amongst black ones who were anxious to peck 
him. 

He was not fond of ablutions, thought tihem 
waste of time. Once when staying with some 
friends one of the house party who was of a mis- 
chievous turn of mind, went into Sir William's room 



62 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

and took a five-pound note off his dressing-table and 
put it in his bath, where it remained until he was 
leaving, when it was pointed out to him proving 
the bath had not been used during his visit. 

I have heard this same story told of other people, 
only in connection with their sponge. All these 
stories are things of the past, for people do not sit 
in tea-cups of water in the bedrooms to-day. Every 
household has a bathroom, and some boast a good 
many. One house I was staying in a short time ago 
had a most luxurious one attached to each bedroom. 

Sir William Eraser repaired to the Highlands at 
one time in search of a reposeful spot for his re- 
mains when some such place might be necessary. 
He stayed for one night at Inverness with a friend. 
During dinner his host begged him to dig deep into 
the pie and other edibles after his long journey 
north. Sir William, who was rather deaf, still 
thinking of his last resting-place, replied, "Oh, cer- 
tainly ! I have no wish to remain too near the sur- 
face I assure you." 

Once in my early married days I was staying in 
Yorkshire with an eccentric relative, who had all 
the household baths spread out on the lawn and 
painted them himself to avoid the expense of a 
trades-person doing it. It so happened the house 
was full for a dance, amongst the guests was a very 
amply proportioned old General, who was paying 
his addresses to one of the daughters of the house. 

After receiving their first coat of paint the baths 
were removed into the house, and there being a 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 63 

shortage of the useful commodity, one of the new 
painted ones was pressed into the housemaids' 
service and was placed in the General's room. 
Nothing suspecting he boldly stepped into it in the 
morning and then sat down in it and stuck. After 
breakfast my relative said he was going to give 
another coat of paint to the baths, and invited us all 
to go and view his handiwork. We followed him 
down the rows of baths on the lawn trying to find 
a suitable change of appreciative remarks for each 
bath as we came to it; presently we came to the 
big saucer bearing the imprint of feet and anatomy 
most faithfully depicted. It would have rejoiced 
the heart of any detective accustomed to tracing 
people by the Bertillon system. 

At first we all stood speechless, gazing at the 
spectacle; my relative getting redder in the face 
and his eyes angrier and angrier. He then turned 
and eyed us all reflectively, as if trying from our 
forms to trace the culprit who had dared to use one 
of his newly painted baths without his permission. 
The beauty of the whole thing was every one of us 
looked absolutely guilty and red in the face. I 
determined when I become a judge I will never be 
led away by circumstantial evidence, it may be 
most misleading. 

The General, who had given a sovereign to the 
head housemaid not to give him away, suggested 
he would like to go and see the stables — so thought 
all of us ! 

People with religious kinks are, however, far and 



64 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

away the most terrifying. It is impossible to say 
where their emotions may lead them. There is a 
certain lady, living not a hundred miles from where 
I am now writing, who has a tiresome habit of 
coming up to you at garden parties and suchlike 
gatherings asking, "Are you saved?" This is 
disconcerting because one does not like to venture 
an opinion on anything so uncertain. While seeking 
for a diplomatic answer she continues somewhat in 
this strain, "Remember if you are not saved you are 
damned, there is no middle course." This sort of 
thing when your friends are gathering round in a 
ring to watch your discomfiture is trying, each 
answer to her leading questions is awaited in si- 
lence, hoping for something really effective. Re- 
ligious kinky- folk ought not to be allowed to roam 
about alone at garden parties. 

This same religious lady has a living in her gift. 
The unfortunate incumbent has a very poor time. 
Not long ago the long-suffering man thought he had 
endured enough and gave up the Ghost, but not 
before he had invited the parson of our parish to 
preach for him one Sunday. During the sermon 
opinions were expressed not in accordance with this 
lady's views; she therefore stood up and shouted, 
"That's a lie!" Our rosy-faced little parson con- 
tinued, taking no sort of notice, so she repeated her 
polite statement and was requested by the preacher 
to sit down and be quiet and after the service if she 
would like to come to the vestry he would discuss 
the point. She agreed to this and continued mut- 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 65 

tering to herself and shaking her head, occasion- 
ally making a few notes in a pocket-book. What 
made the circumstances piquante was the fact, well 
known to many present, that t4ie familiar nickname 
of the parson was "Lying Joe." 

On another occasion when a strange clergyman 
was preaching he foolishly and unthinkingly said 
in the course of his sermon, "Who amongst you 
are saved?" 

This w^eird lady patroness at once jumped up 
and said, "I am"; her cook in the pew behind fol- 
lowed suit, "And I am," knowing how much de- 
pended on doing so. 

After the clergyman holding this living and 
chaplaincy died, a new incumbent had to be in- 
stalled. A terrible time ensued. Various parsons 
were tried and found wanting. One unfortunate 
man came from some distance by train, having in 
his letters confessed himself willing to preach his 
patroness's doctrines and she had agreed to send 
her carriage to meet him, the station being several 
miles from the house. Owing to some mischance 
the reverend gentleman missed his train, arriving 
at his destination to find no carriage to meet him. 
He was told it had been and gone again earlier in 
the evening. 

With some difficulty he hired a vehicle, and drove 
some eight miles in the dark to the address on the 
letters in his pocket. When at last he reached the 
place it was all shut up and in darkness. After 
ringing and hammering at the front door and re- 



66 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

ceiving no answer, he and the driver of the cab 
wandered round the house looking for some window 
or door that might be hospitably inclined. At last 
a side door was found open, and a sleepy maid sit- 
ting up in a sort of back kitchen. She gave the 
parson a written notice that had been left for him 
when his hostess retired to bed- On this card was 
written, "If you choose to come in the middle of 
the night you can't expect people to sit up for you. 
Go to bed and I will see you in the morning. Up 
the stairs, first turn to the right, fourth room on 
the left." 

The maid presented him with a smelly little oil 
lamp, and advised him strongly not to comx to the 
''miserable place"; the lady was enough to drive 
anybody mad. The clergyman went to bed think- 
ing it all very strange, but as he knew his prede- 
cessor had held the living for years he thought per- 
haps he might be able to do the same, at any rate 
he must try. 

The following morning at breakfast he made the 
acquaintance of the awesome lady, who was neither 
young nor good-looking, and considered any dainti- 
ness in dress or personal adornment very wicked. 
She asked her guest to say grace; this he did, 
briefly, only to be told, "That is no use at all," and 
she stood up and in a sing-song voice half spoke, 
half chanted a lengthy supplication for a variety 
of things, including a good appetite ! 

It was Sunday, and the parson was to take the 
service, so that it might be seen if he was suitable. 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 67 

In the middle of breakfast, after fixing a cold grey 
eye on the uncomfortable and much-to-be-pitied 
man, the patroness snapped out, "I can't stand that 
silly collar you are wearing, why can't you wear a 
proper one that opens in front and has no deception 
about it. That ritualistic thing is no use at all, it 
has no beginning or end." 

"But, madam," replied the parson, "it is the usual 
clerical collar." 

"It is nothing of the kind, man. I am not a 
fool," retorted the lady. 

When the morning's service was over the parson 
said he was truly thankful. He was not usually a 
nervous man, but he confessed that morning had 
tried his nerves severely. He was allowed to eat his 
luncheon in peace, but there was a gloomy silence 
on the part of his hostess, and at the end of the 
repast she said, "You won't do at all, you can go 
back again at once ; what do I owe you ?" 

The parson explained what the usual fee was and 
the cost of his journey, counting the cab of the night 
before, asking a modest four guineas. He was 
presented with a cheque for £3 los. and told it was 
quite enough, if he chose to arrive in the middle of 
the night he must pay for the cab himself. 

Eventually there was so much scandal about the 
way the numerous clergy were treated who aspired 
to the living in this curious person's gift, that the 
bishop got wind of it and put his foot down and 
there was an end of the matter. A parson came and 
stayed, whether he was approved of or not. 



68 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

Some of the victim parsons took the lady's treat- 
ment of them much to heart. ''Lying Joe" troubled 
not at all when she told him he lied. His habitual 
tally-diddles and inexactitudes were not in connec- 
tion with Biblical history or dogma, but purely 
social and in amplification of his own prowess and 
importance. Yet everyone liked him, he was a 
genial amusing companion, hospitable host and 
kind friend. When he died he was much missed. 
He had held his living for many years, and in his 
younger days could tell a good story and drink a 
bottle of good port. In his stable there always 
stood a smart cob or two that could be relied on to 
bring him home safely at night after cheery din- 
ners with old Lord Poulett the 6th Earl and Lord 
Bridport of the same date. 

The stories the dear old parson told of those days 
were highly entertaining, also the accounts of some 
of the 6th Lord Poulett's wives, whom he knew well, 
being a constant visitor at the house. 

Many people will remember what a rumpus there 
was about the succession to the Hinton St. George 
property and the Poulett title, and how the son of 
one of the earl's earlier wives (he had three) de- 
clared he was the rightful heir, but for reasons it 
is not necessary to state here, though they can be 
easily imagined, when the case came up for trial it 
was given against him. I remember seeing the 
claimant going about London with his barrel-piano, 
he never asked for money, at least I never saw him 
do so, but there was a little box on one side of the 




The Sixth Earl Poulett 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 69 

piano into which I have seen a good deal find its 
way, and I have added my mite to help to swell the 
grand total. Silver was often thrown to them and 
dexterously caught. 

The . Busician was accompanied by a woman, 
whether she was his wife or not I do not know. 

A large notice adorned one side of the piano 
giving the world to understand that the grinder 
was Viscount Hinton, heir to the Poulett estates. 

They used to prowl about the streets, not so 
much with a view, I always thought, of obtaining 
money as to airing their grievance. People used 
to be sorry for them, and I remember seeing a 
cabman ask them into a public-house at the bottom 
of Park Lane to give them drinks. Nobody inter- 
fered with the poor dears, even the policemen left 
them in peace. Anybody wishing to find these un- 
fortunate people and their piano could generally 
run them to ground in the neighbourhood of Tatter- 
sails or the sporting clubs. 

It must have been weary work wandering about, 
rain or shine, and I wondered they kept it up as 
long as they did. I always felt sorry for them. 

It will perhaps be remembered that the present 
Lord Poulett's father married three times, his first 
wife being the mother of the organ-grinder whom 
the Court decided was not Lord Poulett's son. The 
secret of his marriage had been kept very quiet, it 
was the result of a foolish bet made with a brother 
officer on board ship when the 2nd Foot were com- 
ing home from abroad. He said he would marry 



70 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

the first woman he met or saw on landing, and he 
stuck to his word. The woman's name was Miss 
Elizabeth Lavinia Newman, and I have been told 
she was a circus rider, but about this I am oot sure. 
I have always heard that the late Lord Poulett 
provided handsomely in his lifetime for the un- 
happy man who called himself, and no doubt be- 
lieved he was, Viscount Hinton. 

I have been told Lord Poulett, the 7th Earl, 
behaved generously to the piano-grinder, although 
the unfortunate aspirant's claim had been com- 
pletely shattered in the law courts. 

The present peer inherited from his parents a 
love for the stage, and married a pretty Miss Storey 
from the Gaiety Chorus, after the fashion of the 
young bloods of to-day. Lady Poulett's father was 
the Fred Storey attached for so long to the Gaiety 
Theatre. His forte was eccentric dancing, he ap- 
peared also, I think, at Drury Lane with the Yokes 
family, under Augustus Harris's management, in a 
show called "Belles of the Kitchen," First he 
danced on the kitchen table and then stood between 
the sisters Rosina and Victoria throwing his leg 
alternately over the heads of each. 

The sixth earl died in 1899. He was a popular 
patron of steeplechasing, and scored two great 
victories with a little 15.2 horse called "The Lamb," 
the Liverpool Grand National in 1868 and again in 
1 87 1. On both occasions "The Lamb" was ridden 
by gentlemen riders, the first time by Mr. George 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 71 

Ede, under the name of Edwards, the second by- 
Mr. Pickernell, under the name of Thomas. 

There is a curious story attached to the second 
race. Lord Poulett had a dream in which he saw 
his horse defeated, he awoke feeling very worried 
and disappointed, went to sleep again and dreamt 
he saw his horse win with Mr. Pickernell in the 
saddle. Upon the strength of this he wrote to Mr. 
Pickernell telling him about his dream and asking 
him to ride the horse. Mr. Pickernell agreed and 
the dream was fulfilled to the letter. 

These two races brought a good round sum into 
Lord Poulett's pockets, but I fear there must have 
been a hole in them, for the money soon disap- 
peared. 

The poor little "Lamb" died in 1872, after he 
had passed the winning-post, in a big steeplechase 
at Baden-Baden. I should have liked to see this 
game little horse in the flesh. He was an iron grey 
with little flecks of white, the only picture of him 
that I know of is a family heirloom now at Hinton 
St. George. I believe Prince Esterhazy was riding 
him on the fatal day against a horse named "Mon- 
arch," ridden by Prince Kinsky. 

Lord Poulett was the original owner of "Cortol- 
vin," but sold him to the Duke of Hamilton. 

Looking back over my life I have met some first- 
class romancers, some embroidered beautifully, 
others awkwardly, others maliciously. It has been 
an interesting study to me trying to trace the rea- 
sons and incentives for the inexactitudes. I have 



72 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

come to the conclusion that some people are un- 
truthful because they cannot help it, they have no 
real sense of right and wrong. Others lie with a 
view to self -aggrandisement, and there is another 
class that lies from Christian charity, the white lies 
of charity and bowing to convention. If you know 
people fairly well you can generally see through 
them all. There is, however, one man I know, a 
general in the army, who romances for no reason 
at all as far as I can gather, but his habit has be- 
come so well known that in the army they say, "Oh, 
what a — ^Jones shall I say?" Of course that is not 
the general's name, but I cannot now give the name 
as the man is living and would scalp me. Quite 
solemnly once he told me he was the inventor of 
cart wheels, hoping I suppose that I was simple 
enough to believe him. At another time he told 
me he remembered well when a baby in arms and 
his nurse pinched him thinking to himself "When 
I can talk I will tell my mother of this woman." 

This officer's son inherited his father's failing. 
He was quite a nice boy and used to rattle on telling 
most astounding stories, and then wind up by say- 
ing in the most engaging manner, "But you must 
not believe a word I say, I am an awful liar." 

There was a certain stipendiary magistrate in 
Yorkshire who was superb in this line. One day 
when some friends were talking rather big about 
shooting experiences, the stipendiary broke in and 
we all knew something was coming that would take 
the gloss off any previous story of that evening. He 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 73 

was a huge man with a large corporation, florid, 
rather fat face and strident of voice. He pro- 
ceeded : "My dear fellahs ! that's nothing to what 
I did once when I was shooting with the King at 
Buckingham Palace." Before we had recovered 
from our surprise at hearing of Buckingham Palace 
being a sporting estate, he astonished us still more 
by saying, "A covey of partridges got up. I got 
a right and left and the recoil of the gun caused 
me to fall backwards on to a hare and kill it." 

If we felt the man was romancing to be funny 
and for our amusement we should not have minded, 
but he was in the first place strangely ignorant, and 
in the second place annoying because he expected 
us to believe him. Nobody took any notice, which 
was perhaps a pity; someone ought to have tackled 
him and argued the matter out; only not in my 
house for choice ! 

The lies that are lied so that good may come are 
often rather pleasant; for instance, we may know 
some young man is going to make a fool of himself 
and we say "I am sure you will not do so and so, 
it would be very unlike you. I have much too high 
an opinion of you to believe you would do any- 
thing of the kind." In our hearts we have no such 
high opinion, and we are persuaded he had every 
intention of doing the foolish deed, but our white 
lie may act as a deterrent; he will wish to live up 
to our high opinion of him, therefore, surely this 
lie is doing evil that good may come, and is par- 
donable. 



74 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

Then the little everyday tally-diddles, when our 
friends tell us how they have been looking forward 
to seeing us and how charming we look, we know 
it is only froth, oil that lubricates the wheels of 
life, and surrender ourselves to the deception that 
is being practised upon us just as we do when we 
go to a play. 

I wonder sometimes is there such a thing as 
truth, or is it all a mirage? 



CHAPTER IV 

The Tempers of Sporting People^ — "Heel-tap" Days in the 
Northumberland Yeomanry — Mr. Carnaby Forster as 
Master of the Ledbury — His Hunt Servants' Awe of 
him — Lady Mary Hamilton's Popularity — The Duke of 
Hamilton's Cure for Gout — The Duke at Oxford, his 
Generous Nature — Starts a Money-lending Business — 
Why he Relinquished it — The Grand National of 1867 — 
A Bet the Night Before — How he Paid it — A Mistake 
over a Horse's Weight at Newmarket — His Grace's 
Sporting Garments — One of his Favourite Jockeys — The 
Duke gives Custance a Present of a Horse — It objects 
to Physic and Custance has to Hide — The Duke's Har- 
riers at Easton — A Favourite Horse named "Safe 
Coach" — He Carries a Foreign Guest who does not En- 
joy his Ride — The Duke's Generosity to a Sporting Par- 
son — A West Country Master's Eccentricities — The 
Health of a Welsh M.F.H.— A Little Tragedy in the 
Hunting Field. 

I KNOW a good deal about tempers, though I 
have been blessed by a sweet-tempered husband 
and a sweet-tempered son. It has always 
seemed to me that sporting people control their feel- 
ings the least satisfactorily, which is a pity. In- 
deed, some I have known seem to consider they are 
being clever and amusing when blustering and 
using swear words. Tradition has something to 
do with this. It influences people in small as well 

75 



76 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

as great matters. Tradition is what makes armies 
particularly deadly in attack, just as successfully 
as it makes masters of hounds swear when natur- 
ally, and in their hearts, they are often the tamest 
creatures imaginable, poor dears ! 

There are, of course, some naturally bad-tem- 
pered men who have so grievously mistaken their 
calling as to attempt to hunt hounds, but personally 
I think that nine times out of ten the silly bluster 
affected by some men in the hunting field is chiefly 
due to the prominence accorded to that sort of 
thing in sporting literature. 

Happily both this style and hard swearing are 
dying natural deaths, like the port wine drinking of 
the early Victorian era. 

I remember my father telling me that in his 
young days it was the fashion to get drunk when- 
ever an opportunity presented itself. He found this 
a great nuisance, being one of the most abstemious 
of men. 

In the Northumberland Yeomanry they kept up 
the practice of drinking without leaving any heel- 
taps, which I understand consisted of drinking of? 
glass after glass of port quickly, and then turning 
the glass upside down on the table to show it was 
empty. 

One guest night, soon after the funeral of the 
Duke of Wellington, at which my father had been 
present with his regiment, when all were drowning 
dull care in repeated libations of port, my father, 
jiot wishing to drink more than was good for him, 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS yy 

lifted each successive glass to his face and then 
shot its contents quickly under the table, naturally 
remaining cool-headed while his neighbours were 
becoming somewhat elevated or muddled, as the 
case might be. After this had been proceeding for 
some time it suddenly dawned on his guest to the 
right, who was, I believe, one of the North Country 
Cooksons, that his legs were feeling very wet and he 
moved his chair to enquire into the matter. My 
father, realising that he had accidentally been pour- 
ing the port over his neighbour's legs, thought it 
time to decamp with all speed. There was a tre- 
mendous hullabaloo and some unwisely gave chase, 
but they did not get very far. 

I have strayed away from tempers somewhat. I 
was going to mention Mr. Carnaby Forster, at one 
time Master of the Ledbury. He used to be quite 
comic in his display of temper. I was forcibly re- 
minded of him the other day while reading General 
Baden-Powell's book, Indian Memories, in which he 
described the way Sir Baker Russell, commanding 
the 13th Hussars, used to charge subalterns who 
annoyed him, and either ride them down if he 
managed to hit them, or crash into the ranks if he 
missed his intended prey. 

I remember well the fierce, heavy-moustached 
colonel in Lucknow many years ago when I was 
staying with Captain and Mrs. Cuthell, my host 
being in the 13th Hussars. He maintained that 
the Colonel's bark was worse than his bite. I 



78 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

noticed, however, that throughout the station there 
was a distinct disincHnation to bark with him. 

Mr. Carnaby Forster ruled the Ledbury with a 
rod of iron. When he began to be really angry, an 
event for which his field did not have long to wait, 
he used to fill the coverts with his admonitions and 
commands. He was a small dark man with promi- 
nent eyes, and I remember seeing him gallop furi- 
ously after someone or other who had ofif ended him, 
sitting hunched up in his saddle with rage, literally 
gnashing his teeth. 

It was impossible at times to prevent laughing 
at his exhibitions, at others it made one feel sad, 
hurt one's cherished ideals of the dignity of hu- 
manity. He never wearied of abusing his hunt 
servants, and they were reduced to a state of hope- 
lessness from fear. One day when my son viewed 
a beaten fox, for which the master was diligently 
casting, and told one of the whips he had viewed 
it, the man said he really dare not tell Mr. Forster, 
and suggested the only thing to do was to go and 
tell Lady Mary Hamilton (Mr. Forster's step- 
daughter), she being the only person who knew how 
to tackle him. 

With all his curious ways and tempers he was 
not a bad huntsman, and so keen that he used to 
hunt otters during the summer months. 

Lady Mary Hamilton was very popular, a big 
healthy-looking girl with fair hair. Her mother, 
the Duchess of Hamilton, it will be remembered, 




The Twelfth IJiike of Hamilton 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 79 

married Mr. Carnaby Forster about two years after 
the Duke's death. 

I remember being at Easton Park, near Wickham 
Market, soon after Lady Mary was born. It was a 
great disappointment to the Red Duke, as he was 
called, that the baby should be a girl. No man ever 
wished more ardently for a son and heir than did 
that good sportsman. He had been married since 
1873, but not until November, 1884, did any off- 
spring put in an appearance. At this time the Duke 
was rather a gouty subject and he amused me by 
saying his remedy was a "mixture of stout and 
champagne," which did not coincide with my ideas 
of what was suitable for the complaint. 

The Duke (the 12th) was, I think, one of the 
most generous men I ever met. At Oxford his 
generosity was a byword, and in those youthful 
days he was a very unrestrained and wild young 
person: once he was nearly rusticated for playing 
practical jokes on a proctor. His rooms in Canter- 
bury Quad were the general rendezvous of cock- 
fighters, fox-terriers and rat-hunters. He was a 
general favourite all the same, owing to his ex- 
treme generosity, straightforwardness and charm 
of manner. 

It was a different Oxford in the Hamilton, Lans- 
downe and Rosebery days from that we knew be- 
fore the war. There were plenty up there then, 
however, as now, with money and without. To 
the latter the Duke was a prince of kindness. On 
hearing that some of his friends were borrowing 



8o FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

money and being charged exorbitant interest by 
the money-lenders, he started a private business of 
his own in opposition to see how many bucket-shops 
he could close, but after a while, finding the under- 
graduates he had befriended never attempted to 
pay even the lowest rate of interest, much less the 
capital, by degrees he tired of the game and left 
the field to those who knew how to follow up and 
press their victims. 

Birth heaped distinctions upon him, he owned 
many princely mansions in England and France; 
and was related to the Emperor Napoleon, who 
wished him to associate himself with French poli- 
tics and ceremonies, but the Duke would not hear 
of it, although a staunch Bonapartist. He did not 
mind social court functions, but declined to have 
anything to do with politics. 

In spite of his great inheritance, before reaching 
the age of thirty he was on the verge of ruin : a good 
many people did not know how he managed to save 
the situation. There used to be a diversity of opin- 
ion in my young days about Mr. Padwich, the 
agent. Some pointed him out as a praiseworthy 
good man, doing his best to husband the resources 
of a spendthrift, others as very much on the make. 

Perhaps the chief social function of the Duke's 
life was the ball he gave at Hamilton Palace in 
Lanarkshire to the Crown Prince of Austria, our 
then Prince of Wales, and the Prince Imperial of 
France. 

My old friend Sir Ian Hamilton got into trouble 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 8i 

at that ball. The room was very crowded, ten deep 
round the walls of the circular ballroom at least. 
He was waltzing away merrily and seeing a sort of 
opening in the serried ranks of spectators pulled 
up for a rest. Instantly about a dozen grandees 
fell upon him, hunting him and his terrified partner 
away, as they had exactly planted themselves in 
the front of a funnel-shaped opening in the crowd, 
kept to allow the Royalties who were present seated 
on sofas by the wall to see what was going on. 

Hamilton Palace was the Duke's father's favour- 
ite abode, and was filled with marvels of art and 
precious books — all dispersed at the great sale! 

Racing and hunting were the Duke's chief hob- 
bies. A story is told of him in 1867, the night be- 
fore the Grand National, which he won with his 
horse "Cortolvin." He was feeling particularly 
gay and full of beans at the time, and made no 
secret of the fact that he thought his horse would 
win the steeplechase on the following day. It was 
during the evening before the great event that he 
looked into the Washington Hotel at Liverpool, 
where all the chief book-makers and backers re- 
sorted, with the idea of either doing a little betting, 
or hearing the latest news of the big chase. Here 
he made a number of people back his horse. 

During the revelry the Duke went to the bar and 
said to the girl attendant, "I shall put you on a 
thousand pounds that my horse wins to-morrow." 
The girl had no idea who was speaking and thought 
it might only be a joke, but felt elated, nevertheless, 



82 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

and told her master, who said, "Show me the man 
who said it." He was soon pointed out, and then 
the girl learnt it was the Duke of Hamilton who 
had made the promise. 

The horse won, and the next night the Duke re- 
turned to the "Washington," which was again full 
of bookies and racing people. Instead of keeping 
his word by means of a cheque he went round the 
room collecting and borrowing the money from the 
book-makers and others present, in bank-notes and 
country notes in all sorts of conditions, dirty, clean, 
crumpled, pieced together with stamped paper and 
otherwise. These he rolled up one round the other 
and going straight to the bar presented the roll of 
notes to the barmaid. She could hardly believe 
her luck and again sought her master, excitedly 
carrying her handful of notes. Her employer 
locked these up for the night in his safe. 

When the next Liverpool Meeting came round, 
the story had spread far and wide, in consequence 
of which many looked in to the "Washington" to 
see the lucky girl, but were disappointed, for as 
soon as the race week of 1867 was over she left her 
situation, married an engineer and went off with 
him and her thousand pounds to America, much to 
the grief of the hotel proprietor in Liverpool, who 
said the Duke had been the means of robbing him 
of the best book-keeping barmaid he ever had. 

When racing in France the Duke was in his 
element, and ready for anything from pitch and toss 
to cock-fighting. Baden-Baden owes its success in 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 83 

life chiefly to him. He made the place what it was 
and has been ever since. In September he always 
had a big party there, a happy mixture of English 
and French friends. He won many races there on 
the flat and steeple-chasing, being a princely patron 
of both. 

I was sorry he never won the Grand Prix de 
Paris. I should like to have seen the cerise with 
French-grey sleeves and cap (the Duke's colours) 
to the fore. Neither was he ever a winner of the 
Derby, or even placed in that race or the Two 
Thousand Guineas, but he won the One Thousand, 
Oaks and St. Leger. At Baden-Baden he won a 
race worth £2000; his mother, Princess Mary of 
Baden, being present made it a popular win, and 
I know the Duke was pleased. I never thought him 
lucky in his racing. Once in 1885 he had excep- 
tionally bad luck through a mistake in allocating the 
weight "Miss Jummy" had to carry in the Post 
Sweepstakes for four hundred sovereigns at New- 
market. Marsh being the trainer it was his busi- 
ness to attend to such details as the weight to be 
carried. 

That the weight was wrong was not discovered 
until the horses had cantered to the post. ''Hot- 
spur" of the Daily Telegraph (Mr. Charles Green- 
wood) at once flew off to the Clerk of the Scales and 
asked him if the weight declared overnight for the 
race card was what the filly was carrying, because 
if so it was wrong, receiving a reply in the affirma- 
tive "Hotspur" hastily found Mr. Marsh, but it 



84 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

was too late to send down to the post and correct 
the error, and away they all came, "Miss Jummy" 
first by three parts of a length, "Sunrise," a horse 
of Mr. Houldsworth's second and General Owen 
Williams' "Lisbon" third. 

An objection was, of course, raised to "Miss 
Jummy" for carrying wrong weight. The objection 
was sustained and the race awarded to "Sunrise." 

It is a most vexatious thing for an owner to find 
himself in such a position; and was almost an 
inexcusable mistake, most disastrous for many, 
whose long-drawn faces told the tale. "Miss 
Jummy's" owner accepted the situation more pleas- 
antly than many would have done, though he not 
only lost the money he betted, but the stakes as 
well. He was a true sportsman and took the rough 
with the smooth, nevertheless, it was certainly one 
of the most unlucky days during his long racing 
career, which started in the middle of the sixties 
and ended in the nineties. 

Perhaps his best year was 1883 when he won 
two dozen races value £12,530, which sum did not 
include events under the National Hunt Rules 
Steeplechasing. 

When "Cortolvin" won the Grand National at 
Liverpool, I am under the impression Page was the 
jockey, and he received from the Duke a little 
present of £500. I cannot be certain it was for 
that particular race, but I am certain Page received 
£500 for one of the big races he rode in and won 
for his employer. 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 85 

I can picture the Duke now in the Birdcage (the 
paddock) at Newmarket, with his full-blooded face 
surmounting a plentiful display of neck, with a low- 
cut blue shirt and more often than not a scarlet tie 
worn sailor-knot fashion. 

He was at all times a conspicuous figure. His 
greatcoats were superb in their own line, being of 
a very coachy cut and graced by enormous buttons, 
which were specially made for him. Many people 
tried to copy these masterpieces of tailor's art and 
ducal taste, and I have known one or two tall slight 
figures look well in them, but they required a Duke 
or a costermonger to carry them off satisfactorily. 

Once at Newmarket the Duke was having a few 
words with one of his commissioners about some 
betting transaction and was having the best of the 
argument. As the man turned to go he looked the 
Duke up and down critically and said, "Look here 
your Grace, a trip for to-morrow : I have just had a 
wire from town saying that Savernake is coming 
down (referring of course to the subsequent Mar- 
quess of Ailesbury, known as the coster-lord) so 
you be careful and keep out of the way, or he'll 
claim your coat and buttons !" 

Custance was one of the Duke's favourite jock- 
eys who when in 1894 he wrote his own reminis- 
cences he presented a copy to his patron bearing 
this dedication: — 

"To His Grace the Duke of Hamilton and 
Brandon, k. t., as some slight recognition of the 
many favours and kindnesses he has extended to 



86 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

me during my riding career I respectfully dedicate 
these pages." 

As far as education was concerned Custance was 
quite at the top of the tree amongst his riding 
contemporaries. He wrote an excellent letter, and 
was full of humour and cheerfulness, while never 
forgetting himself or taking liberties. 

This jockey had another admirer in Lord Chap- 
lin, who considered him as good in the hunting 
field as he was on the flat. It was in consequence 
of his judgment in riding across a country that 
when the Prince of Wales (King Edward VII) 
was staying at Blankney, Lord Chaplin gave 
''Cussy," as his intimates called the jockey, the 
honoured post of piloting the Prince in the hunting 
field. 

The Duke of Hamilton, knowing Custance's love 
for hunting, gave him, a well-known old steeple- 
chaser named "The Doctor," after the animal's 
racing career was finished, the price originally 
paid for this horse being f 1200. I am under the 
impression that this clever and willing horse had 
his heart broken in a desperate finish between him- 
self, ridden by Holman, and "The Colonel," ridden 
by Stevens, for the poor beast was never the same 
again, having been so severely treated that the 
Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals inter- 
fered, and there was a law court investigation. It 
ended in the case being dismissed, but it was never 
dismissed from, "The Doctor's" mind, for ever after 
when in any way pressed in races he stopped and 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 87 

kicked furiously, revenging himself in that way. 

Like many racehorses, his temper had been spoilt 
by his training, and when first he began to hunt on 
the horse Custance found him decidedly impetuous 
and queer tempered. Custance described the horse 
when first he entered his stable as "All stomach, 
a crib-biter, ewe-necked, and with a club foot which 
had a way of refusing to keep a shoe on." He was 
a perfect terror in the stable, and once when Cus- 
tance decided the horse should have a dose of physic 
and everybody seemed shy of administering it, the 
jockey said the horse knew him and he would give 
the dose himself. Armed with the mixture, a 
step-ladder and a twitch he proceeded. 

All went well as long as only linseed oil was 
tasted, but when aloes were recognised the horse 
would have no more of it and, in spite of his affec- 
tion for Custance and the twitch on his nose, he 
sent the step-ladder flying and Custance with it, 
whilst the audience watching the operation fled in 
all directions. The horse romped round and round 
kicking windows, doors, partitions, everything in 
reach to smithereens, whilst his owner was kept a 
prisoner under the hay-trough until things quieted 
down a bit. 

Captain Arthur Smith, who is still living, will 
remember this clever horse, one of the best over 
Leicestershire, where for six years he held his own 
in spite of being a roarer, crib-biter, weaver and 
club-footed. His end was sad. One day, when out 
with the Cottesmore, the Duchess of Hamilton told 



88 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

Custance there was a lady out that day who had 
been heard to say she meant to cut her down, so she 
(the Duchess) wished Custance if on a good horse 
to give her a lead. At the moment he did not 
happen to be on a particularly clever or fast mount, 
but said when his second horse arrived he would be 
able to comply with her wish. The second horse 
happened to be ''The Doctor," whom the Duchess 
knew well and was delighted to follow. 

Coming to a fence where there were only a couple 
of places that could be got over, Mr. Henry Lea- 
tham jumped it first and his mount fell. It was not 
a very formidable place, but had a drop of about 
six feet, yet there did not appear to be anything to 
put a horse down. 

The Duchess called out to Custance, "Here is 
another place," but Mr. Leatham was now out of 
the way and it was too late. "The Doctor" jumped 
the fence beautifully, but, like Mr. Leatham's horse, 
fell, and was unable to raise himself. Assistance 
was sent for, but the gallant old horse had broken 
his shoulder, having landed with his club foot on 
the stump of a tree that had been felled and which 
was covered with fallen leaves, so, poor fellow, he 
had to be put out of his pain. I hear that Custance 
gives an account of this game old horse in his book 
of reminiscences. 

The Red Duke, as he was called on account of his 
red hair and reddish purple face, kept a pack of 
Harriers at Easton, and a stable full of horses with 
which he mounted many friends when staying with 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 89 

him. Amongst these horses was one named "Safe 
Coach" a sort of circus horse that knew his business 
so well that when out with the harriers and a hare 
was found knew at once what was expected of him. 
He preferred a rider who remained in the saddle 
and played the game, but failing that, would con- 
tinue to hunt the hare by himself quite regardless 
of hounds. 

Once a foreign guest, who came over to Easton 
from Baden-Baden to stay with the Duke, sug- 
gested he would like to see some sport with the 
harriers, but confessing he was not a great horse- 
man was mounted on ''Safe Coach." Hounds found 
quickly and away went this knowing animal, jump- 
ing neatly in and out of a deep lane. His mount 
just escaped embracing Mother Earth, and, aban- 
doning the reins entirely, seized the horse's mane 
with one hand and the back of the saddle with the 
other sticking on like grim death, allowing "Safe 
Coach" to please himself entirely, much to the 
Duke's amusement, though the horse was a little 
too pressing at times and interfered somewhat with 
the sport. 

The rider reached Easton again without any 
broken bones, but with a very poor opinion of "The 
Sport," and could never be persuaded to try again. 

The late Lord Kesteven used to hunt with these 
harriers a good deal. He was a good horseman, if 
one can so describe a man with no hands, they 
being always gouty. He therefore had steel hooks 
fastened in his sleeves and straps across the reins 



90 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

to steer his useful and accommodating mount. 
Between them they managed to see a good deal of 
sport. 

The Duke was certainly popular in the particular 
community to which he belonged, or which appro- 
priated him. The community at times was a trifle 
exigent in demands on the goodwill and kindness 
of the Duke. 

There was a sporting parson who, from the 
neighbourhood of Saxmundham, used to hunt with 
the Duke's harriers. Shortly before Christmas one 
year he was conspicuous by his absence, and the 
Duke noticing the parson was not out inquired 
where he was or what had happened to him. I 
told the Duke in confidence what the reason was, 
that he had been obliged to sell his only hunter to 
help a relation dying of cancer. The kind old man 
said, "Dear, dear, we must see about that." When 
Christmas arrived the postman delivered a letter at 
the Rectory bearing a London post-mark and con- 
taining two hundred pounds in bank-notes, and 
printed on a card, "Wishing you a happy Christ- 
mas, from an old friend and fellow-sportsman." 

A little later a mare was sent over to the parson 
with a note, asking him if he would be good enough 
to give her a little work as she, past her best, was 
too good to shoot, but might perhaps do a couple 
of days a week with hounds. 

I think it gave the Duke sincere pleasure to help 
those less well off than himself, and all his kind 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 91 

actions were carried out in a careless, breezy sort 
of way, leaving no painful sense of obligation. 

No Englishman that I have ever met spoke 
French as well as the Duke of Hamilton. It was a 
pleasure to listen to him, not only was he idio- 
matically correct, but his accent perfect. He had 
spent a good deal of the early part of his life in 
France, which no doubt accounts for this to some 
extent. Mr. Labouchere thought his own accent 
quite as good, but he made a mistake ! 

The Duke also knew how to suit himself to his 
company as well as anybody I ever met. From his 
"live and let live" principles, and the way he liked 
everybody to please themselves, it came as a sur- 
prise to those who did not know him very well to 
find what a strict Scotch Sabbatarian he was. Even 
when out at sea on his yacht, where no person's 
susceptibihties were likely to be hurt, he would not 
allow his piano to be touched on Sunday until after 
midnight except for hymn tunes. Even Mozart and 
Haydn were tabooed. 

In my humble opinion the Duke was badly 
treated by the world, his faults were those of an 
unusually warm-hearted, generous schoolboy, abso- 
lutely straightforward and honourable. Yet cer- 
tain saintly people who were quite possibly less 
straight themselves considered it their duty to 
blackball him at a well-known high and mighty club. 

One or two people I could name loved him. much, 
a certain egotistical young genius named Marie 
Bashkertseff for one, and she describes the manner 



92 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

thereof in her published diaries, price one franc 
fifty centimes. 

Some years ago there was in the west-country a 
certain pack of hounds that hunted carted deer. 
Their master used to provide entertainment for 
his followers after the same fashion as Mr. Car- 
naby Forster. On one occasion he became em- 
broiled in a heated argument with a farmer, but a 
small brook in flood unfortunately separated the 
two. Vengeance was not to be delayed by such a 
small thing. The Master plunged boldly in, crossed 
and veritably annihilated the farmer, and then 
waded back again. As soon as he had cooled down 
a little and recovered from the glow of having 
added another scalp to his collection he became con- 
scious of the fact that his boots were full .of water, 
so the affair came to a suitable conclusion by the 
Master standing on his head, supported by his whip 
on one side and second horseman on the other, 
until the water drained out. 

While this took place he was surrounded by a 
silent admiring circle of followers'. 

In his calmer moments the Master was a delight- 
ful companion, witty and amusing. He is still alive 
and flourishing, I am glad to say. 

He was once seen thrashing his motor because it 
would not start ! 

On another occasion when out hunting he saw a 
number of his field galloping ofl: without waiting to 
shut a gate after them, he shouted at the top of his 
voice, and it was a fairly strong one, "Here you" — 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 93 

something, something! ''Come back and shut that 
gate — you . . . ! . . . ! ! ...!!! fellows come 
out with my hounds knowing nothing more of farm- 
ing than wooden images and caring less, leaving 
gates open behind you so that the farmer's stock 
will get out, you . . . ! ...!!" 

Here the culprit tried to speak, but was over- 
whelmed. 

"HoU your tongue, I won't have it, I tell you. 
Go back and shut that gate instantly." The culprit 
in a timid voice, ''But it's my gate and I want it 
open!" 

Here the Master's early training as a barrister 
came to his rescue, and he replied, without any 
outward signs or discomfiture, "that does not alter 
the principle of the thing in the least," and rode on. 

I feel as if I could go on writing indefinitely about 
masters of hounds, but I will only mention one 
more. He is a dear little man who lives in Wales, 
hunts his own hounds and is well known to every- 
one who buys or sells them, as he loves a deal above 
all things. Although a particularly cheerful and 
most entertaining individual, he was very fussy 
about his health, being frequently convinced that he 
was dying'. At a meet it was a mark of high esteem 
to be invited to peer down his throat and see for 
oneself how inflamed his tonsils were. His faithful 
whipper-in, named Davis, was long past being 
surprised at anything; he surveyed the world with 
the most impassive face I have ever seen. 

One day in the middle of a run, hounds had 



94 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

pushed their fox through a covert and were making 
for a particularly fine line of country when the 
Master was seen to be staring at a pocket-handker- 
chief he was holding in his hand. "Davis, Davis," 
he cried passionately and almost tearfully, "stop 
them, whip them off ; I am going home, my nose is 
bleeding V 

One meets with tragedy as well as comedy in 
the hunting-field sometimes. I remember a very 
sporting little man who rode a good deal in steeple- 
chases and point-to-points, who lived on the out- 
skirts of a harrier country which my son was hunt- 
ing with his own hounds at the time of which I am 
writing. The little man was well known and popu- 
lar throughout the country, but no one knew any- 
thing about his home life. One day he suggested to 
my son that the harriers should draw his land, as it 
held a few hares, though being so far off was never 
hunted. Accordingly a meet in this new country 
was arranged. A hare was found and a good day's 
sport resulted. 

Suddenly while drawing a root field, the figure of 
a tall wild-looking woman sprang into a bank at the 
side of the field and began raving and abusing the 
Master, his hounds and the members of the field in 
a torrent of most fluent adjectives. She told them 
passionately to be off and tongue-lashed everybody 
singly and collectively. 

A horror-stricken silence fell, nobody knew quite 
what to do. The Master hurriedly took the pack 
away to draw somewhere else and said to the owner 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 95 

of the land at whose instigation he had come, 'T 
fear someone does not Hke us very much, perhaps 
we had better move off elsewhere?" "Don't take 
any notice," replied the poor little man sadly, "that 
is my wife, she has been raving mad for years and 
at times breaks away from, those who take care 
of her." 

I do not think there was anyone on the field who, 
before that day, had the slightest idea he even had 
a wife. For a thoroughly unromantic and therefore 
doubly real little tragedy, I think that would be 
hard to beat. 

If Jorrock's calculation that fox-hunting repre- 
sents the excitement but only twenty-five per cent 
of the danger of war is correct, there can be only 
about one per cent, or even less, of its danger in 
otter-hunting, indeed it would be hard to imagine 
anything much safer than the otter-hunter's 
majestic promenade through sun-kissed hay fields, 
bordering some babbling brook, unless we take sun- 
stroke into our calculations. 

But I remember once strolling along in just such 
a hay field talking to a ponderous and stately Lon- 
don solicitor who had come out for a day's sport 
as he was staying in a village close by. 

In the midst of our conversation a hound came 
casting along the bank and ran between the solici- 
tor's legs. Down went the poor fat man and broke 
his collar-bone! 

After this he no longer considered otter-hunting 
a safe or suitable pursuit. 



CHAPTER V 

Mr. Corney Grain at Home and Elsewhere — He and Cap- 
tain Beaumont Perpetrate a Joke — With the Fire Brigade 
in Southwark Bridge Road — ^An Accident to Captain 
Beaumont — A Labouchere and Lawson Row — How it 
Ended — Mr. Labouchere at Home — How he Treated a 
Guest — Asked why he Called His Paper Truth — His 
Reply — After Dinner Tableaux — Mr, Augustus Harris 
Personates Royalty — Mr. Corney Grain as "Rags and 
Chatters" — A Mock Court-Martial — Execution Effected 
on a Princeling — Mr, Joseph Chamberlain as I knew 
him — In a Toy Shop — -Fond of Children — Letty Lind 
and her "Wages" — Marion Hood and her Hair, 

OST of the theatrical people I have known 
have been bright and amusing. I think 
Mr. Corney Grain interested me the most, 
though he could hardly be called theatrical. He 
appeared certainly for many years with the German 
Reeds at St, George's Hall, Langham Place, but I 
suppose it would be more correct to call him a 
"high-class society entertainer!" I often specu- 
lated on how so hyper-sensitive a man could have 
chosen such a role, one bound often to irritate and 
hurt his feelings. 

When recounting to me some of the stories he 
often told against himself, and which many people 
of that date will remember, I asked him why he de- 

96 




FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 97 

serted the Bar for society entertaining? He re- 
plied the latter appeared to him the "most amusing, 
least sweat, and what Providence intended me to 
be," adding, "It would be such a waste of material 
for such a huge funny-looking man not to do tricks, 
so little being necessary on top of my natural ap- 
pearance to amuse the public." 

For the benefit of the rising generation, who may 
not remember much about Mr. Grain, I had better 
explain that the unusual appearance he referred to 
consisted in his size, — not only was he very tall but 
he had immense depth beyond the ribs as his sport- 
ing friends w^ould say, a big nose, fair and rather 
curly hair, a very pale complexion and big blue 
rather prominent eyes. His feet were a trial to 
him, he said, they were always in the way. 

Amongst the stories he was fond of telling were 
the following: He was engaged to perform at a 
house in South Kensington during an afternoon 
gathering, a sort of bun struggle. Arriving as 
usual in a humble four-wheeler and alighting at the 
front door he was told by a gorgeous footman that 
he had come to the wrong entrance, and was then 
shown into the servants' hall and given a glass of 
beer to amuse him until his presence was required 
in the drawing-room, the servants evidently regard- 
ing him at least one degree below the chimney 
sweep ! 

At another entertainment, this time in Queen's 
Gate, while standing in the drawing-room awaiting 
his turn to be funny, he entered into polite con- 



98 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

versation with the son of the house, lately home 
from Eton. First he tried cricket, then football, to 
which the youth seemed quite cold, so at last Mr. 
Grain said, "What a charming piano you have." 
The youth shifted from one leg to the other, closed 
his eyes, and said, *'0h, it's a rotten old thing, but 
mother said it was good enough for you to thump 
on ; she had the best one moved out of the room !" 

Mr. Grain used to tell these stories with a great 
show of amusement, but it was perfectly plain that 
they hurt his feelings. 

Dick Grain, as his intimates used to call him, 
was of gentle birth and well mannered (the two do 
not always go together), and an entertainer of the 
highest order. An emancipated schoolgirl once re- 
marked, "His show is one that is quite safe to take 
one's mother to see !" 

His brother, the well-known veteran barrister, 
died while I have been writing this book ; he had a 
large practice, was full of humour, and told capital 
stories of himself and others, while he was never 
tired of talking about his brother Dick, to whom he 
was much attached and whose abilities he admired 
and appreciated. 

Dick Grain's barrister brother was legal adviser 
to the Licensed Victualler's Board and Association. 
Endless jokes were poked at the legal adviser by 
his brother Dick. 

Once when dining in De Vere Gardens with some 
friends, Mr. Corney Grain, the entertainer, sat on 
one side of me and Commander Beaumont (I for- 




Mr. Corney Cirain 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 99 

get his ship) on the other. Mrs. George Harvey, 
who was staying with me at the time, was there too, 
she was related to our host and hostess. During a 
shght pause in the conversation she said that she 
would like to run away with a certain lamp-shade 
in the room which she greatly admired; also that 
she wished some of the beautiful old-fashioned 
spoons and forks were hers. We thought no more 
of this until the time came for our departure and 
we proceeded to get into the brougham, only to find 
all available space taken up by the lamp-shade and 
family silver. 

This was the result of Mr. Grain and Captain 
Beaumont's mischief in consultation with our host! 
We had to wait some time to have it all returned 
to its proper place before we could enter the car- 
riage for home. 

All these cheery people have long ago joined the 
great majority except Mrs. George Harvey. 

Captain Beaumont was a little lame, the result of 
an accident at one of Captain Eyre Shaw's after- 
noons in Southwark Bridge Road. If I remember 
rightly these were held every other Thursday when 
Captain Shaw and his pleasant wife (who was I 
believe Portuguese or, at any rate, very foreign- 
looking), entertained their friends and let them see 
the fire-brigade drill and effect rescues from top- 
story windows, people shot down fire-escapes and 
so forth. It was on one of these occasions, after 
the show was really concluded, that Captain Beau- 
mont (a brother of the late Lady Swansea) thought 



lOO FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

he would show a small and admiring circle of 
friends what he could do, how accustomed he was 
to climbing great heights on rope ladders and so 
on while at sea. 

He therefore lashed a couple of ladders together 
while his host and the majority of his friends were 
having tea in the house; the picturesque lashing 
concluded, the ladder was placed against a high 
window and Captain Beaumont swarmed up it with 
cat-like rapidity, unfortunately the lashing was 
more picturesque than trustworthy, and when near- 
ing the top it collapsed ; the poor man falling with a 
crash at the feet of his scared friends. 

The result of this little attempt to entertain those 
present, and perhaps do a little show-off, resulted 
in his being slightly lame for the rest of his life. 

At the time we saw most of Mr. Grain his rooms 
were in Bond Street over a shop — I think it was a 
jeweller's — many delightful afternoons have we 
spent in that "upper part," as the house agents 
would describe it, with Mr. Grain and his piano. 

The drawing-room was large and lofty, looking 
on to Atkinson's "Smell shop," as he used to call 
the large scent shop at the corner of Bond Street 
and Burlington Gardens. The furniture of the 
room consisted chiefly of a grand piano and a 
"grand sofa," he said there was not room for much 
else when he was there. Oh yes ! there was a music 
stool described by its owner as a "weight-carrier." 
Poor man, he lived a little too soon, when I think 
of the miserable sums he was paid for his most 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS loi 

clever, amusing and always in good taste perform- 
ances compared with those paid to-day, say, for 
instance to George Robey or other funny men of 
the moment. 

I know at times Mr. Grain said he could not 
afford cabs to carry him to keep his engagements 
so was obliged to sally forth in enormous galoshes 
and umbrella, either on foot or by omnibus. Ten 
pounds was a very average sum paid to him for 
his services, afternoon or evening; I told him it was 
his own fault, he should raise his price, but he was 
too shy to do this, and said he felt he ought to ask 
less as he knew he grew less funny and would hate 
to be told so, he therefore preferred to jog along on 
the old lines. He really was quite extraordinarily 
shy and sensitive. A kind friend and bitter foe. 

It had been arranged one year that he should 
join our party at Henley and lunch with us in the 
Isthmian Club tent; we were to be a party of eight, 
counting Mr, Grain. When the morning for our 
jaunt arrived there was a heavy shower, but not 
enough to prevent our going. 

Just before we started a note and large brown- 
paper parcel was brought to me. On opening the 
missive I found Mr. Grain was "desolate" at being 
deprived of the pleasure of joining our party, but 
some oysters he had eaten the night before had 
''Gone the wrong way !" and he was not well enough 
to appear; as it was so wet he was sending one of 
his private canoes for my use, this turned out to 
be one of his enormous galoshes done up in the 



102 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

brown-paper parcel. He hoped while we were en- 
joying ourselves canoeing about in it we would 
think kindly of the suffering owner. 

My young brother, who was one of the party, 
insisted on filling the galosh with lobster salad, 
strawberry ices and such delicacies, and sending it 
back in the evening with many kind enquiries and 
hopes that by then the sufferer would be able to 
enjoy some of the Isthmian luncheon which had 
been put on one side for him. 

Much to our friend's annoyance he was dragged 
as a witness into the Labouchere-Lawson Case, 
which was the outcome of a row between those 
gentlemen outside the Beef Steak Club in Septem- 
ber, 1879. Having been subpoenaed, Mr. Grain 
was bound to appear. 

As it all happened so long ago, it may be well to 
recall the cause of the fracas. 

Mr. Labouchere, the brilliant editor of Truth, 
had for some years been saying unkind things of 
Mr. Edward Lawson (whose original name was 
Levy, to which in accordance to his uncle's wish 
had been added Lawson, and who later became 
Lord Burnham and proprietor of The Daily Tele- 
graph) holding him and his family up to ridicule 
both in Truth and the World, calling Mr. Lawson 
a disgrace to journalism, etc. 

Both were members of the Beef Steak Club. 

At last Mr. Lawson could stand it no longer and 
waiting outside the club for "Labby" gave him 
a whack on the head with his cane; he at once 



^'d 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 103 

wished to fight a duel in Belgium, but this was 
declined by Mr. Lawson because he said he only 
fought gentlemen and he did not consider Mr. 
Labouchere was one. After this an abusive letter 
dated October ist was sent by Labby to Mr. Law- 
son and the former also published it. This led 
to an action for libel brought by Mr. Lawson and 
was heard before Mr. Justice Coleridge and a special 
jury in March, 1881. 

After a protracted trial in which Mr. Labou- 
chere conducted his own case and cross-examined 
Mr. Lawson on the Eastern question and some 
political topics that had appeared in The Daily 
Telegraphy the jury were unable to agree on a ver- 
dict, being, I believe, almost equally divided, so 
they were dismissed and the matter ended for 
the time being, after eight days had been wasted 
on the trial. 

The case caused a great deal of excitement and 
party feeling at the time. Mr. Labouchere was 
turned out of the Beef Steak Club, but brought an 
action against that club which he won, so he re- 
mained a member, but I should imagine not alto- 
gether a comfortable one. 

Poor Mr. Grain had a certain amount of fun 
poked at him by judge and jury as to his profession, 
the learned judge, if I am correctly informed, pre- 
tending he did not know who Mr. Grain was and 
apologising for his ignorance. 

Mr. Labouchere was at his best in his own home, 
an excellent, though at times alarming host, for 



104 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

he was as full of pranks and jokes as a school- 
boy. Once Sir Willoughby Maycock was dining 
with him and his wife at Pope's Villa near Twick- 
enham, the only other guest being old Mr. Maxwell 
and his wife, the latter best known as Miss Brad- 
don the authoress. After dinner Labby conducted 
the gentlemen to the cloak room to wash their 
hands, whispering to Sir Willoughby to hurry up 
as he wanted to lock old Maxwell in as he was 
rather an old bore; Sir Willoughby having "hur- 
ried up" the key was quietly turned in the door. 

At that time Miss Braddon was writing a book 
about Paris during the siege, where Mr. Labou- 
chere had been The Daily News correspondent 
(and afterwards brought out an amusing book 
over which I laughed at his account of endeavoring 
to cook a portion of elephant over a spirit stove!) 
Having locked in her husband, Labby calmly sat 
down and helped Miss Braddon for about twenty 
minutes with material for her book. Sir Wil- 
loughby meanwhile sat twiddling his thumbs in an 
agony of mind, wondering what on earth would 
happen; when a distant thumping was heard, 
which, of course, came from the unhappy man in 
the cloak-room. 

"I wonder where Mr. Maxwell can have got 
to," said Labby in a most innocent manner. "I'll 
go and see." 

Presently he returned with the poor old boy look- 
ing very cross, suspecting it was the result of one 
of Mr. Labouchere's pranks, though of course he 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 105 

was told the door had a tiresome habit of sticking 
at times, and how dreadfully concerned his host 
was! Labby was a magnificent humbug. 

Once I asked him why he chose the name Truth 
for his paper, and said that was the last thing any- 
body wished to be told. He replied, "Quite so, 
about themselves but not of other people!" 

I remember some impromptu tableaux got up one 
evening after dinner at our house. Mr. Augustus 
Harris impersonated the Prince of Wales (King 
Edward VII), and most wonderfully he did it. Mr. 
Corney Grain appeared as "Rags and Chatters" 
with his coat inside out showing very torn silk 
linings to the sleeves. After this they had a court- 
martial on Baron Halkett for having shaved off 
his moustache without Royal sanction. It must be 
explained that the Baron was a civilian, and had 
always been, we thought, extremely proud of his 
beautiful waxed moustache which stuck out dan- 
gerously at each side in fine stiff points. One day 
a girl made a bet he would not shave it ofif, he was 
too much attached to it. Behold next day he ap- 
peared without it. We hardly knew him. He was 
therefore court-martialed after dinner, no one be- 
ing more amused than himself. 

The Duke of Cambridge was presiding in the 
person of Mr. Augustus Harris, most wonderfully 
got up on the spur of the moment with a heavy grey 
moustache made of portions of a goatskin mat, 
ruthlessly cut off corners, where I was told it would 
never be missed, and stuck on with melted wax 



lo6 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

candle. Mr. Corney Grain prosecuted and Mr. 
Joseph Chamberlain defended. 

The amount of fun and nonsense they managed 
to cram into half an hour was amazing. Mr. Grain 
with puckered brow explained how pained he was 
at having to prosecute his old friend for such a 
heinous offence, "Not from a sudden temptation 
but a premeditated crime, all for filthy lucre !" Mr. 
Chamberlain with eye-glass screwed firmly into his 
eye and nose looking more aggressive than ever, 
patted one finger emphatically in the palm of the 
other hand while he held forth on "The heroism of 
the accused who had so recently parted with so dear 
and close a companion that he had reared and 
watched over with loving care from its infancy 
until it reached three kilometers in length!" Shak- 
ing his finger angrily at the prosecutor he con- 
tinued, "And why has he done this thing, gentle- 
men? I will tell you," here he paused dramatically, 
"because after seriously mutilating the optic of a 
perfectly innocent girl with his moustache while 
she was walking peacefully down the Haymarket, 
he came to the conclusion that his hirsute decora- 
tion was a danger to the public, and when I tell you 
that the Baron will probably have to provide and 
pay rent on a new eye for the young lady, may even 
possibly have to keep her for the rest of his life, you 
will agree with me that he has suffered enough 
without the most unjust and indecent, yes, I say it 
again, indecent accusation from my learned friend 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 107 

opposite (Corney Grain) that the motive was for 
'filthy lucre!'" 

This is nearly word for word as I can remember 
it. The accused tried at intervals to have a voice 
in the matter, but was hastily thrust into a chair 
and told to leave the case in his (Mr. Chamber- 
lain's) experienced hands and trust to his skill. 

Then came the summing up of Mr. Augustus 
Harris, who with trembling voice said it was his 
painful duty — here he burst into tears and kept a 
large antimacassar he had seized off the end of the 
sofa to his eyes, while with the disengaged hand 
he produced from somewhere a black (lace) cap, 
borrowed from my old housekeeper, and with this 
hanging jauntily on one side of his sparsely covered 
pate condemned the miserable culprit, who had 
''Received so patient and fair a trial," to be taken 
hence and hanged till he be black in the face. 

It then became the duty of the prosecutor to 
remove the protesting prisoner. Mr. Chamberlain 
fought valiantly for his client. 

Mr. F. A. Inderwick, Q.C., who was also present, 
said if he had not seen it with his own eyes and 
heard it with his own ears he would never have 
believed Mr. Joseph Chamberlain would have so 
unbent, or indeed that he could have done so. 

By the way, I often wondered why Mr. Inder- 
wick was not made a judge. I think he was a little 
pained about it. He was certainly popular with 
both judges and clients and he had a pleasant voice 
and manner. He affirmed most modestly that his 



io8 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

success was due to Messrs. Lewis and Lewis of Ely 
Place. But I have run away from my story. 

It was all very silly and very funny, but refresh- 
ing to see great men frolicking, for they were great 
men in their several ways. 

Take Mr. Corney Grain first. He certainly was 
great in his own line. It must be grand to be able 
to cheer and amuse crowds of people day after day, 
sending them home refreshed, with some of the 
cobwebs swept away by hearty laughter. 

Then Mr. Augustus Harris, afterwards Sir 
Augustus Harris, who would dare say he was not a 
great man? How many have trembled in their 
shoes awaiting his verdict of *'To be or not to be" 
when their plays have been offered for his accept- 
ance, or their legs were under his consideration 
with a view to dancing, while the theatrical auto- 
crat smiled that comfortable smile that seemed to 
say, 'T have dined well and feel very happy," 
though at times he acknowledged he went to sleep 
while authors' great productions were being read 
to him, declaring he knew all about them never- 
theless. 

This great Drury Lane man, "Druriolanus," as 
some folk used to call him, tried to persuade me in 
1889 to go on the stage. I assured him I should 
never be able to remember my part, and if I did I 
should render it differently each day according to 
my mood and never give the right cue. He said 
none of that would matter, he would give me a 
walking on part, but what he particularly wanted 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 109 

me to undertake was the part of Lydia Languish in 
'The Rivals." At last he gave me up in despair. 
If I had known him well enough I should have 
liked to point out to him how his waistcoats troubled 
me and to suggest his having them cut with a deep 
point instead of round, it would have reduced his 
barrel-like appearance, and I did not like the braid 
trimming on them, but I did like his gardenias, 
without one of which I seldom saw him. 

He loved colour and had an artist's eye. He 
designed several dresses he wished me to have made 
and wear. They were really very striking, but a 
little too "voyant" for me with the exception of 
one ball dress in "sunset-coloured satin" he called 
it, draped in grey tulle. I called it flame colour. 
That dress did great execution, so much so that 
when wearing it at the Wellington Club one night 
before going on to a dance, I was asked by an 
elderly gentleman in high favour amongst Royal- 
ties if I would try and wean a certain Princeling's 
affections from an Irish girl to whom he was pay- 
ing too marked attention. 

I agreed to do my very best and threw myself 
heart and soul into the task with such success (no 
doubt owing to the flame-coloured dress designed 
by Mr. Harris) that I had to call fervently for 
someone else to be sent to act as counter-irritant 
mustard-blister fashion, for I was fairly entangled 
myself — I have never felt quite sure I did not miss 
the opportunity of my life on that occasion, but 
perhaps my humble role suits me best. I would 



no FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

rather be a free mouse and roam where I like than 
a lioness in a gilded cage. 

In his youth I believe Mr. Harris travelled for 
some big silk merchants; he became a great man, 
I always think, through his firm belief in himself. 
I am afraid I must allow he was conceited, but a 
man who has practically made himself surely has 
some right to be. The day he became Key Holder 
of the Grand Lodge of Masonry, or whatever it is 
termed (for I know very little about the correct 
terms and sayings of the craft) was one of exulta- 
tion and triumph, and when decked out in Civic 
costume as one of the sheriffs of the City of Lon- 
don he was indeed proud and happy. 

One day when driving in the demi-state sort of 
carriage allowed to Sheriffs of the City during their 
term of office, he was sitting well forward so that 
all might see and admire, when it so happened he 
passed two friends walking. One, I think, was a 
little jealous of him and said to his companion, 
"Bless my soul! do look at that man, I'll take a 
hundred pounds to a shilling one day he is King of 
England!" 

"Give me your shilling," the friend replied. 
Weeks and months rolled by and no further men- 
tion was made of the bet: but one morning there 
appeared in The Daily Telegraph an announcement 
that "Sir Augustus Harris arrived last night at 
Windsor Castle, and has taken possession of the 
Waterloo Chamber." This was cut out and for- 
warded to the man who had accepted the shilling 




Sir Augustus Harris 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS in 

and written underneath it, "You know your bet, I 
told you at the time you were a fool to lay me such 
odds. After reading this surely you want to hedge 
or give me my shilling back." 

Of course the true story was the Drury Lane 
proprietor had arrived at the Castle with his stage 
manager to give a performance there which had 
been commanded by the Queen (Victoria). I 
rather think Sir Augustus Harris was the first of 
the Drury Lane people to be honoured with a Royal 
command. 

The knighthood was conferred on him for his 
civic connection with the City of London. I do not 
think we had any theatrical knights until King 
Edward VII came to the throne and placed the 
sword over Sir Henry Irving. The year Sir Au- 
gustus Harris was Sheriff was voted the best Lord 
Mayor's show ever seen. 

I am under the impression, but by no means sure, 
that Sir Augustus was one of the original members 
of the Savage Club when it was started in a saw- 
dusty sort of back-parlour in the neighborhood of 
Drury Lane. 

Those were days when the best actors, or per- 
haps I should say the most exalted, frequented 
what some called *'pubs," others "taverns": there 
were no clubs such as the present generation have 
to shelter them. 

The Garrick then stood out alone, with its own 
sacred precincts and halo which few could surpass 
or assume. 



112 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

When speaking of this time at the Garrick a 
friend once said to me, "Actors have great pride, 
swank, jealousy, envy and malice, perhaps un- 
known to any other profession." Possibly that is 
so. 

Sir Augustus worked very hard at anything he 
undertook, sparing neither money nor trouble in 
staging his plays well. He was wise enough to get 
experts to criticise at his rehearsals when putting 
on anything requiring precise detail. A friend of 
mine once saved him from making a mistake that 
would have been an everlasting source of regret 
and annoyance to him. Sir Augustus was about to 
produce a great racing drama and asked my friend, 
who was a great racing man, if he would go to the 
final dress-rehearsal and tell him if all the details 
were quite correct and to be good enough to criti- 
cise severely. 

It is well his advice was sought, for there was a 
weighing-room scene in which many details were 
ludicrously wrong. When the performance was 
over and Sir Augustus asked if all were correct 
and it was pointed out to him that it was not 
correct for jockeys to be weighing themselves out 
without either trainer or owner being present, while 
the clerk of the scales, who was mounted on a very 
high stool in front of a desk like a schoolmaster, 
should be sitting at a writing-table close beside the 
scales with a notebook in which he should be enter- 
ing the details. 

But for this kindly criticism at the eleventh hour 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 113 

the scene might have shared the fate of Artemus 
Ward's famous panorama when presented to the 
audience for their admiration and they forcibly 
explained they did not think much of moonlight 
scenes without a moon, which had unfortunately 
been forgotten. In consequence some rude mem- 
bers of the audience threw chairs and ginger-beer 
bottles at the moonlit but moonless scene. 

Sir Augustus soon corrected his mistakes and 
all went well, the play having a great success. 

Theatrical people live in a world entirely their 
own, it is a wonderful life behind the scenes. One 
of the chorus girls at Drury Lane once said when 
at work she earned two pounds a week, but often 
had nothing to take at the end of it, as her fines 
for being late or for non-attendance often mounted 
to more than her salary. She hailed from the Antip- 
odes and said that when there she was known as 
the Australian prima donna, but at Drury Lane 
she never got beyond the chorus and payment on 
her part for non-attendance. 

Naturally prima donna airs would not go down 
in the chorus. 

Sir Augustus' sarcasms were at times biting, but 
he was a staunch friend, and when Oscar Wilde 
was in trouble he was one of the first to appear to 
stand bail for his friend. In consequence of this 
kindly act he had the annoyance of seeing in the 
papers the following morning that one of Mr. 
Wilde's greatest friends, Sir Augustus Harris, ap- 
peared to go bail for him. Poor Gus, as I have 



114 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

heard his friends call him, was mad with rage and 
some one described him to me as rushing about 
foaming at the mouth, and with the wings of his 
Inverness cape flying out behind him like some big 
angry bird. 

Now I have come to the great Joseph Chamber- 
lain, who looked out upon the world in amused 
complacency, no matter how heated people became 
in argument with him. The past held no attrac- 
tions for him, the future was always before him 
written large across his brain. I think few people 
have had so many friends, quarrelled with them 
so often, and made it up again as the great "Joe." 
With Sir William Harcourt, for instance, Mr. 
Morley, Count von Bulow, even at one time with 
the Duke of Devonshire, with whom he served in 
both Liberal and Unionist Cabinets (the former 
from 1880 to 1885, the latter 1895 to 1903). I am 
sorry to say there were times when he was not 
always very courteous to those who differed with 
him in politics, being rather intolerant. Only his 
own particular views could be right. 

Again, few men have played so many parts as 
the almost self-educated business man from Bir- 
mingham, and few men have had such an aggra- 
vating manner at times; he seemed able to sting 
people into frenzy while keeping perfectly cool 
himself. He loved argument and was an agreeable 
conversationalist, at least so I thought, but of 
course I bowed before his superior wisdom. 

We all know that what he denounced with fer- 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 115 

vour at one time he pleaded with vigour at another ; 
personally I see nothing wrong or perfidious in a 
man changing his opinions, rather do I think it a 
sign of a strong character to have the pluck to stand 
up and say, "I have changed my mind," in a world 
where the one immutable law is change. We must 
realise that what was true once need not be true 
always, and circumstances alter cases. 

That he was a wrecker of two parties has often 
been quoted against Joseph Chamberlain, but there 
again I see something to admire, it surely proved 
party feeling had nothing to do with his line of 
conduct, but the good of his country, progress, and 
the bettering of the lives of the working classes. 
He cared not which side he belonged to so long as 
he was at one with them on these points. He was 
a man with the instinct of politics; his hobby 
was the House of Commons, which however he 
often defied. 

I remember Mr. Chamberlain prophesying years 
ago the coming of the paid professional politician, 
and now they are here. There is no doubt he got 
on his colleagues' nerves at times, and once Mr. 
Balfour in well-chosen words reproved him, saying 
that he (Mr. Chamberlain) remembered too much 
that they belonged to different parties, but seemed 
to forget that they belonged to the same country. 

Mr. Chamberlain was fond of children, and told 
me he was glad his bairns had not been as tiresome 
as he was when a youth, confessing he had been 



ii6 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

very troublesome, keeping his people in an agony 
of mind as to what he would do next. 

I do not know if the following story was of a 
member of his own family, but it is one he was fond 
of telling. It was of a child with a thirst for knowl- 
edge who kept asking his mother theological and 
natural history posers. First he wished to know 
who made flies ? then, who made grown-up people ? 
and so on. To each question the child's mother 
replied, "God did; He made everything." There 
was a pause, presently the child said, "Does God 
make rice pudding?" Fairly driven into a corner 
his mother replied, "Yes." "Then I wish He would 
eat it," replied this precocious little person. 

Once long ago when Mr. Chamberlain and I were 
choosing children's Christmas presents in Rose's 
toy shop in Sloane Street, I noticed that nothing 
attracted his attention but mechanical toys; he 
walked about winding up everything he could find, 
from jumping frogs to "puffer-trains," until he so 
seriously over-wound an engine that after a false 
start it declined any further action. I was inter- 
ested to see what he would do, especially as an 
elderly spinster belonging to the shop was watching 
his proceedings. He said, "I should like to have 
bought this thing, but it won't work!" "Indeed, 
sir," from the attendant in accents of surprise 
(having witnessed the trial trip), "I have another 
just like it." Mr. Chamberlain then said, "Oh, I'll 
buy this one if you'll put it right," and so the mat- 
ter ended. Having already collected a large pile 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 117 

of things he wished to buy for various children, 
some for little Dudleys, some for little sick folk in 
Birmingham, I suppose to over-wind one engine 
was looked upon as of no consequence. I noticed 
he did not ask the price of anything, though he 
examined them carefully all over before deciding, 
so perhaps he could read some of the hieroglyphics 
with which everything was marked, but which was 
double Dutch to me. Happy thought! perhaps the 
toys had come originally from Birmingham, where 
the hieroglyphics had been invented. 

I think Mr. Chamberlain's most charming attri- 
bute was his devotion to his family, he simply 
adored them and they him ; it was very picturesque 
and real. This devotion was illustrated clearly 
when Mr. Austen Chamberlain made his first 
Budget speech. The strain on his father was acute, 
and when the youthful orator struck an attitude 
and also unhappily the inkstand which at once re- 
sponded by emptying itself on his notes, the lion- 
hearted father had to put his hand over his eyes, 
where it remained until the oration had been 
brought more or less happily to its finale ! 

Many people will remember the dainty dancing 
of Letty Lind and her little pipe of a voice singing 
something about *'0h ! Marguerite, I love thee and 
adore thee." I happened to know a good deal of 
her history; she was an engaging little person, not 
pretty but with a natural gentle and pleasing 
manner. 

I was one day in a bonnet shop of one of the 



ii8 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

fashionable ladies who were running millinery 
establishments, when Lettie Lind came in carrying 
a large canvas bag. "I have just got my wages and 
came to pay my bill," she said. "Help yourselves" 
(throwing it on the sofa), "but don't take it all, 
there are several others anxiously waiting for some 
of it." While one of the assistants helped herself, 
that is to say, looked up what was owing and took 
the amount and wrote out a receipt, Letty Lind tried 
on a variety of head gear, saying, "I want some- 
thing very quiet or my young man won't take me 
out with him," and she put her head on one side 
with a merry little laugh, for we knew all about it. 
When the receipt was handed to her, she said, 
"Shove it into the bag, please, and tie it up, will 
you?" Having selected all she required and sought 
my advice as to what would be most suitable, she 
picked up her money bag and with a cheery nod 
to us all walked out, never having counted what 
was left of her wages, or troubled about the matter 
in the smallest degree. 

Marion Hood was another "Gaiety-girl," much 
admired by a masculine member of my family who 
asked me if I would let him bring her to see me. 
He wanted me to know how really nice she was, 
and that her beautiful golden hair was "not 
painted!" This struck me as a trifle original. Her 
voice also was not a strong one, very different from 
the voices of Violet Cameron and Florence St. 
John, but Marion Hood was certainly pretty. 

Those responsible for my bringing up thought 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 119 

actors and actresses improper people. Not until I 
was married did I have the pleasure of seeing any 
play other than Shakespearian. A ballet I had 
never seen, the very word made my mother's face 
lengthen, while my father shook his head, his eyes 
twinkling as he laughed happily to himself at the 
memories the word recalled. In his young days he 
was a great deal in town and, being both handsome 
and witty, was made a good deal of, seeing life in 
all its phases. 

It must have been somewhere about 1880 that I 
saw my first ballet at the Alhambra. I was pre- 
pared for shocking sights, I did not quite know 
what, but felt very advanced and delightfully 
wicked. What I really saw was a stage full of 
darling little children dressed in nightgowns which 
they held daintily up here and there, just enough to 
show pretty little pink toes and ankles while they 
danced about with white pufifs in their hands, puff- 
ing their own and each other's faces and necks. 

It was one of the prettiest scenes I can remem- 
ber, and the children looked as if they enjoyed it 
almost as much as we did Then I remember what 
I believe is unusual, namely the ballet mistress 
being called for, and a grumpy-looking woman in 
a black dress with a little cane in her hand came 
and made stiff little bows to us. I daresay she was 
feeling very pleased at the success of her teaching, 
but I think she was possibly one of those people who 
find it painful to smile, and after all what did it 



I20 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

matter so long as she was pleased in her heart, 
which I hope she was. 

After this I was quite determined to see more of 
life and the things supposed to be so wicked. I told 
my husband I wanted to go to the celebrated Evans' 
at Covent Garden, which I understood was a frisky 
and reprehensible club, being quite prepared to see 
again some lovely show perhaps after the fashion 
of the ballet. 

My husband, after much persuasion, promised 
to take me if I would wear many thick veils, as he 
said he would not like anybody to recognise me, so 
tied up in gauze veils I went and we sat in a box, 
which I found exceedingly dull and uninteresting. 
We came away again having seen nothing more 
wicked than a few dull-looking people walking 
about talking to one another and drinking coffee, 
etc., while a band played. 

But I was in good company at any rate, for the 
Prince of Wales was in the box next to us with 
Lady Molesworth (widow of Sir William Moles- 
worth of Pencarrow), who had at one time trun- 
dled an organ through the streets of London, be- 
fore Mr. Temple Weston met and married her. 
She married again. Sir William Molesworth being 
her second husband. She was a fascinating woman 
and became most popular with Kings and Queens. 

It was really rather disappointing that the wicked 
world I had heard so much about should be so 
tame, and came to the conclusion people must have 
unpleasant minds if they saw harm in such pretty 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 121 

things as ballets and such dull things as Evans's 
Club, which is now no more. I soon found the 
dances and tragedies being played around me daily- 
were much more surprising than anything I could 
find on the stage. 

It has always been rather on my conscience 
having brought up to town one season a young and 
unsophisticated butler unversed in the ways of the 
world. My sister and I were renting a house in 
Cadogan Place for a few months from a very 
pretty widow. It was not long before we had mis- 
givings as to the wisdom of having brought up the 
young man, as he displayed so much concern and 
appeared so shocked at anything to which he was 
unaccustomed. 

One day he came with a white scared face and 
presented us with a blue document which he said 
a rude man had shoved into his hand at the front 
door and then ran away. He did not know what to 
do and sought our advice. On examination it 
proved to be a writ for the payment of a tombstone 
for our landlady's husband who had been dead 
some eight years. 

Never having seen anything of the kind before 
he was greatly moved and distressed, being con- 
vinced he was going to be thrown into prison for 
debt. It was most unjust and he did not think 
much of London ways! 



CHAPTER VI 

A Long- forgotten Law Case — An Anomalous Finding — A 
Mock Marriage— Ruin— The Attitude of the Church- 
Reparation, Too Late — Sudden Death and a Suicide — 
Lord Cathcart goes Lame, Explains the Reason — Lord 
Greenock admires the Fair Sex — Lady Sykes' Peculiari- 
ties — Contretemps at a Dinner Party — She Drives White 
Donkeys Tandem — Sir Tatten Sykes and His Great- 
coats — Mr. Glynn Vivian objects to Coloured Grasses 
and Locks Up the Silver — Lady Caroline Maddon and 
Her Daughter — A Search for Eligible Young Men — 
An After-Dinner Recitation. 

IT may be supposed that all my remembrances 
are of a frivolous order, far from it. I have 
been entrusted with some desperately tragic 
secrets, which are still locked up in my memory 
amongst other negatives turned with their faces 
to the wall, which will go down to the grave with 
me still locked up and with their faces to the wall. 
I have witnessed heart-breaking scenes and taken 
part in a drama or two, but I am trying to avoid 
anything sad in this book, for surely the world is 
sad enough at present without my pen piling on 
the agony — as indeed it could if I were to write of 
all I remember. 

But there is one case I feel I must refer to, which 
caused a tremendous sensation in the early eighties. 

122 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 123 

It seemed to interest the whole civilised world, 
special editions of certain newspapers came out 
with nothing else but news of the case; yet when I 
asked a number of people to help me to remember 
certain dates in connection with it, nobody remem- 
bered anything about the tragedy. A few certainly 
allowed that they thought they did dimly remember 
hearing of it ; one to whom I referred being a dis- 
tinguished journalist, whom, one expected would be 
certain to remember the affair minutely. 

I refer to the Langworthy case. Sensational 
trials are apparently very short lived in the public 
memory. Perhaps because they seldom have his- 
torical significance, although so full of human in- 
terest. The Tichborne trial seems to be one of the 
few exceptions, for it is still a name if nothing 
more, although at the time sons quarrelled with 
fathers and homes were divided against themselves 
in the fury of partisanship, almost comparable with 
that in American homes during the Civil War. 

The Langworthy case was remarkable chiefly as 
a record of villainy that to my mind seems almost 
unique, and leaves one dumbly wondering at the 
dark possibilities of cruelty that lie in the human 
heart. 

It also shows the apparently anomalous case of a 
woman who first obtained a decree nisi with £1500 
a year alimony from the Courts and subsequently 
£20,000 for breach of promise of marriage against 
the same man. The law is a wonderful institution. 

The way I came to know so much about the case 



124 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

was through being asked by Dr. Godson, the great 
ladies' doctor of those days, if I would go and see a 
patient of his who was in great trouble and ill- 
health as well as practically penniless. 

Of course I went, and from Mrs. Langworthy's 
own lip.s heard her pitiful story, which as it appears 
to have been entirely forgotton, I relate briefly. 

The Mrs. Langworthy of the case had been a 
Miss Long, the daughter of well-to-do people in 
Ireland, her father being estate agent at one time 
to the Marquess of Downshire and later to Lord 
O'Neile. 

She was a tall, handsome girl and gifted, as was 
proved by her passing in 1873 ^s one of the senior 
candidates at the Dublin University, taking hon- 
ours in French, Latin, Euclid and Algebra. 

Her composition on English literature was 
chosen as good enough to be read aloud by Profes- 
sor Dowden. Fired with her success she then went 
to Cambridge, where she shone in Latin, Divinity, 
etc. 

About th'is time her father lost most of his 
money, and Miss Long decided she would cost him 
nothing more and went out as governess. During 
a visit to Paris with her brother, who was staying 
at that comfortable old-fashioned Hotel Bedford, 
she met the man who was to ruin her life, namely, 
the exceedingly rich and not ill-looking Mr. Lang- 
worthy, with great estates in South America, a 
magnificently appointed yacht, French chef and all 
the luxuries and comforts which usually surround 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 125 

men with large fortunes. At the time he became 
enamoured of Miss Long he was a widower. His 
first wife, Lady Alice, sister of the second or third 
Earl of Limerick, died at sea in 1876, under what 
circumstances I do not know. 

Mr. Langworthy proved a devoted if somewhat 
dictatorial lover, and an engagement quickly fol- 
lowed on their first meeting, but Miss Long was 
told under no circumstances must his mother know 
anything about it as she might disinherit him; the 
engagement must be a secret. 

During this time he persuaded Miss Long to go 
for a little cruise in his yacht, having provided a 
suitable ballast of chaperonage. They stayed at 
Cherbourg for a day or two, and while there he 
introduced his fiancee to a number of people, in- 
cluding the Hon. Cecil Cadogan, Mr. Dennison and 
others. While at Cowes Mr. and Mrs. Vereker 
invited them to dinner. All was comfortable and 
plain sailing. One day Mr. Langworthy while at 
Cherbourg asked Miss Long to go for a drive with 
him to Caen ; they looked at the cathedral and then 
taking both her hands said, "I want you to marry 
me at once; I cannot wait any longer for you and 
have arranged everything." She was entirely 
taken by surprise and objected. While he pleaded 
she turned over in her mind all the circumstances, 
and feeling there could be nothing but love to influ- 
ence him, as she was penniless except for her own 
earnings, consented, knowing nothing about French 
marriage law. 



126 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

The carriage was told to stop before a Catholic 
Church some miles out in the country from Caen. 
Here awaited them (all having evidently been 
arranged) a priest in a black cassock and a fat, 
disagreeable smile, who read some sort of a service 
in Latin. As a matter of fact the whole thing was 
a fraud; seemingly such things can be arranged 
where money and villainy are not wanting. There 
were many interesting features in the story at this 
time, much too lengthy and complicated to relate 
here, but various thoughts came to her mind mak- 
ing Miss Long doubtful about the legality of this 
marriage ceremony, and suggesting that she would 
be happier with a second ceremony. 

Mr. Langworthy, having had the legal training 
of a barrister, knew how to turn his knowledge to 
account, said, certainly if she wanted another cere- 
mony she should have one. This time the chaplain 
of the American Seaman's Mission at Antwerp 
performed it, the divine's name being the Rev. Doc- 
tor Potts, a member of the Presbyterian Church. 

What Mr. Langworthy knew and his unfortu- 
nate dupe did not know was that only civil mar- 
riages are valid in Belgian law. 

However, in all good faith she had taken part in 
two ceremonies, the one near Caen in September, 
1882, the second in January, 1883, ^t Antwerp. 
After this latter Mr. Potts entered the following in 
his register: — 

''Antwerp, January loth, 1883. — Edward Lang- 
worthy, England, widower, 35 years old. Mildred 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 127 

Pallise Long, Belfast (Ireland), maiden, 27 years 
old. Marriage ceremony by Rev. Arthur Potts." 

This was duly signed by the witnesses, one being 
Mrs. Potts, the other a Mrs. Bailey, whom I think 
was acting companion, chaperon or something of 
the kind, I have forgotten what. 

A copy of the certificate was handed to Mrs. 
Langworthy, but it was taken away by her hus- 
band, who said he would send it to his solicitors 
for safe keeping, and he would mark it private and 
important. He then made his wife promise to keep 
the marriage secret for a year as he did not wish 
his mother to know anything about it. 

A happy time followed in the yacht; Mr. Lang- 
worthy seemed to be deeply in love with his wife; 
it was all glorious and the days chased each other 
like some love poems under sunny skies 

They stayed a few days at Lisbon, where Mr. 
Langworthy introduced his wife to Lady Ashton, 
Lord Francis Cecil and others (this is a point to 
bear in mind). 

From Lisbon, if I remember correctly, they sailed 
for Buenos Ayres, where Mr. Langworthy owned 
property. During the voyage his wife told him she 
expected to become a mother. From this moment 
his manner entirely changed and, instead of ex- 
pressing pleasure, exclaimed, "We must put the 
little beast out to nurse." By degrees he now be- 
came so brutal it was forced upon her he was 
hoping his treatment, drugs and starvation, would 
kill the child, and possibly the mother also. 



128 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

Driven nearly mad by his treatment, one evening 
she got out of her bed and went in search of her 
husband, threw her arms round him and implored 
him to say why he had so changed. He then told 
her not to make a fool of herself, she knew per- 
fectly well she was not his wife and the child would 
be illegitimate, and as this had happened she must 
leave the yacht on reaching Buenos Ayres and go 
home again at once; if the affair became known it 
would be his ruin. 

Without allowing her to land at their destination, 
he put her on board a French tramp steamer with- 
out a deck house, that having been washed away 
on its last voyage, and of course without either a 
doctor or stewardess. 

Mrs. Langworthy begged for some baby clothes, 
and was given a box containing a few yards of 
flannel and calico, and £50 in her pocket and sent 
off home! 

So back to England she came full of misery and 
shame with nothing to prove the story she had to 
tell but her wedding ring and the baby. Her pride 
would not let her seek her people, whom she knew 
would wish to help her but could not afford it. To 
use Mrs. Langworthy's own words to me, "When 
I first arrived I tramped London trying to find 
some clergyman to take up my case for me and see 
me righted; I could get help from none. One told 
me he had heard stories like that before and was 
sorry he could do nothing for me." Another, living 
in some state in Grosvenor Square, who preached 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 129 

•regularly in a fashionable chapel not far from 
Berkeley and Grosvenor Squares, was sitting one 
evening after dinner before a comfortable fire sip- 
ping coffee from delicate china and toying with a 
gold spoon, surrounded by expensive fur rugs, 
books and comforts of all sorts, when Mrs. Lang- 
worthy sought his help and told her story. He did 
not rise from his chair while the poor woman 
poured forth her tale and implored him to help 
her. It was a wet night and she was wet through, 
having tramped the streets all day in hopes of find- 
ing some one to help her, her boots were worn 
through in places and her teeth chattered from cold 
and want of food. 

She eventually was told he did not believe a word 
of her story, it was too impossible, but if it was 
true she must "Have faith." 

Poor soul ! she asked how that was going to find 
food for her child and herself and turned bitterly 
away. She described to me her despair as she once 
more walked along the wet pavements and medi- 
tated drowning herself and her child. Passing 
down Conduit Street she noticed a brass plate on 
a door with the name of Lumley and Lumley, so- 
licitors, printed on it, she had not tried them, but 
would do so first thing next morning. She had 
already tried several solicitors, but she was desti- 
tute, friendless, broken in health, the law and the 
Church refused to help her, justice was her only 
weapon, while the whole force of the Langworthy's 



I30 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

immense wealth was thrown into the scale against 
her. 

The treatment meted out to her by the Anglican 
divines is a black and lasting disgrace to their 
Church and the system that produced them. 

Her husband's relations would not listen to her, 
and this is the plight she was in when she entered 
the offices of Messrs. Lumley and Lumley in Con- 
duit Street. They listened to her story, gave her 
money to go on with, took the trouble to collect the 
necessary evidence to prove the ceremonies that 
had taken place and undertook to fight the case for 
her. Magnificently they did it through all the 
courts for four years. Mr. Robert Lumley I do not 
remember meeting, but Mr. Theodore Lumley I am 
glad to have known, for he did for this defenceless, 
broken-hearted woman what not one single shep- 
herd of Christ's flock would do. 

Another revolting feature about the treatment 
from which this unhappy woman sufifered, was the 
attitude of her own sex, the lodging-house woman 
where she lodged turned her out on hearing she was 
not living with her husband! Others treated her 
as if she was one of the lowest of those who walk 
the streets for their living. Even had that been the 
case, they should have shown some humanity to a 
suffering sister. 

I did what I could for her, and by degrees one 
after another helped her; but that she got justice 
in the end and her life made possible during the 
long years while the case was in the courts is en- ' 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 131 

tirely due to Messrs. Lumley and Lumley, the so- 
licitors, and to The Pall Mall Gasette, who took her 
case up warmly, collected money for her, published 
special editions of their paper with all the details 
of the case as it unfolded itself from day to day. 
They also brought out a little booklet or pamphlet, 
entitled A Romance of the Law Courts, Mrs. Lang- 
worthy's Trials and Triumphs. Anyone wishing to 
read all the particulars of this extraordinary case 
cannot do better than get a copy and read it, if 
there are any now to be had. 

Mrs. Langworthy's troubles were, however, not 
yet over, though the learned judges held her mar- 
riage to be illegal, but a marriage "in fact" and 
granted her £1500 alimony. Mr. Langworthy had 
fled to America, refused to pay and was nowhere 
to be found. 

His solicitors and counsel worked indefatigably 
to delay any steps taken by Mrs. Langworthy's 
solicitors to obtain the money for her. 

The husband's wealth was a terrible weapon. I 
have been told great London papers even refused, 
through the influence of Mr. Langworthy's agents, 
to insert her lines in their agony columns. 

Goods of his, seized to pay his debts to his wife, 
were instantly claimed by his mother as her prop- 
erty and therefore inviolate. While all this was 
taking place Mrs. Langworthy was often in great 
need, and but for the kindly help of The Pall Mall 
Gazette and Messrs. Lumley and Lumley would 
surely have gone mad. 



132 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

Twenty thousand pounds on paper did not help 
her much. Her husband was made a bankrupt, but 
he had made his English property over to his moth- 
er. In the end the victim triumphed, having fought 
hard for her child, but there was no getting away 
from the fact that the strain had told upon her 
considerably. She was aged and broken down at 
the end of the four years almost beyond recognition. 

The end of these people was as tragic as their 
lives. Mrs. Langworthy rejoined her husband and 
forgave him, she died suddenly when in Paris with 
him and he committed suicide next day. 

It is impossible to picture the state of a man's 
mind who could be so systematically cruel to a 
woman who had done him no wrong. 

As I congratulated Mrs. Langworthy on her vic- 
tory I felt a lump come into my throat, but I remem- 
bered her as she was when I first saw her in the 
early days of her trouble and mentally compared 
her with what she was after four years' hard fight- 
ing. She had won the day, but the heart, health 
and spirit to enjoy her triumph had gone. In a 
measure it was Dead Sea fruit. 

The last time I saw the poor woman was when 
on my way to Scarborough, and she was going 
abroad in search of health. 

Scarborough reminds me of many things and 
many people, Worsleys, Caleys, Sitwells, Londes- 
boroughs, Cathcarts and many more. 

Old Lord Cathcart, the 3rd earl, was a fine-look- 
ing old man with a profusion of grey hair, a big 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 133 

grey moustache and peculiar grey beard brushed 
out side ways, whisker fashion, with a funny Httle 
imperial in the middle, growing from immediately 
under his lip, very tall, thin and latterly very pecu- 
liar, as was the fashion in those days. 

Once I remember meeting him walking down 
Prince of Wales' Terrace going very lame. I asked 
if it was gout? He eagerly repudiated the idea, 
saying, "No, it is my wife's hot-water bottle that 
has burnt a hole in my foot, and I am on my way to 
take rooms for myself at the other side of the town. 
I shall leave the whole cussed family to take care of 
itself!" This he did for a time, taking lodgings at 
the far side of the town, but not having given no- 
tice to his family of his intentions there was a hue 
and cry after him, but he was spotted at last and 
dug out. 

He had married very early and was an elderly 
man when first I remember him. He had taken a 
keen interest in county matters the greater part of 
his life. At the age of thirty he was chairman of 
the Quarter Sessions and considered very young 
to hold that office. 

The interests of the Royal Agricultural Society 
occupied much of his time and he was elected 
president. The French also paid him the compli- 
ment of electing him to the Societe des Agriculteurs 
de France. 

Horse-breeding also interested him, in fact he 
led the useful healthy life of the country squire, 



134 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

being one of the old school, so pleasant to meet, 
with courteous manners and kindly heart. 

Lord Greenock, the late Lord Cathcart, took 
after his father in height, but lacked his good car- 
riage, having a habit of walking leaning forward 
with his head well in advance of his body, and usu- 
ally with his hands behind his back. 

He was an admirer of the fair sex, and I remem- 
ber once at Hurlingham, in the days when the pretty 
ladies of that date were known under the title of 
"professional beauties," we had been watching polo, 
and a number of these beautiful ladies happened 
to be strolling about. Mrs. Langtry, Mrs. Wheeler, 
Mrs. Patrick Campbell and Mrs. Cornwallis-West 
to wit. The latter passed us leaning on her hus- 
band's arm. Lord Greenock, who was standing 
near, followed her with his eyes, and is reported 
to have said, "Ah, she is his wife in this world; but 
she will be mine in the next." It is well for our 
peace of mind that we do not know all the things 
we are supposed to have said when young and 
frivolous and just as well perhaps we do not remem- 
ber all we have said in those long days ago. 

Lord Greenock's sister. Lady Cecilia, who mar- 
ried Captain Rose of the loth Hussars was utterly 
unspoilt and a wonderful amateur acrobat. When 
dining once long ago with the Lyalls in Lucknow, 
I was sitting on the sofa talking to Padre Adams, 
who was much loved by us all, when someone said 
to Lady Cecilia, "I wish you would show us some 
of your acrobatic tricks." She was sitting on the 




The Third Earl Cathcart 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 135 

end of the same sofa as we were. In a moment she 
turned the neatest somersault over the back of the 
sofa and came up from the other side between the 
padre's feet and mine all smooth and collected in 
an astonishing manner. The dear padre was full of 
admiration but a little breathless over the surprise 
of this unaccustomed drawing-room performance. 

At the fall of the leaf Scarborough was the 
fashionable resort of most of the county families, 
and I never think of that town, or York Station, 
without pictures of various people arising before 
my eyes, one of whom was Lady Sykes, wife of Sir 
Tatten Sykes of Sledmere. They were a diverting 
couple. Lady Sykes was especially remarkable and 
a very amusing person. Her appearance was rather 
striking owing to the splendid generosity of her 
figure, accentuated by the smallest possible waist 
in the middle. This with her extra-high heels and 
carrying voice helped to make her a very well- 
known figure of that day, and whatever country 
house you went to stay in there was Lady Sykes. 
She was very amusing and popular. 

I remember once sitting opposite to her at dinner 
at the Newcomens of Kirkleatham Hall, Redcar. 
She was dressed in creamy white satin — I really 
hardly know how to tell the rest of the story — but 
the fact was the bodice of this beautiful dress was 
not as ample as the wearer. I was very young 
and very shy in those days and felt anxious and 
nervous. Several of the gallant diners seemed much 
struck by the effect and a very young footman was 



136 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

so interested while standing over her that he upset 
a dish of beetroot and vinegar all over her shoulders 
and dress. It was all too terrible. I can shut my 
eyes now and see again the beetroot sliding over 
undulations and remember the suppressed shrieks 
of horror that went up from the table. The look 
of terror on the footman's face when he saw what 
he had done was tragic. He made a start as if to 
retrieve some of the beetroot but was chased away 
by the butler. 

Mr. Clarke- Jervoise, who had taken me into din- 
ner, said if the accident had happened to me I could 
not have blushed more! 

Lady Sykes was quite a pretty whip and caused 
some sensation one autumn in London by driving 
a couple of white donkeys tandem in a little gover- 
ness cart down Piccadilly and up Bond Street. I 
arrived at the door of Russell and Allen's one day 
at the same time that she did, and very neatly she 
reined up while a small "tiger" about the size of a 
postage stamp jumped out and went to the head of 
the leader. This diminutive little person was as 
well turned out as the rest of the equipage. His 
little legs encased in well-fitting breeches and the 
sweetest thing in boots twinkled as he ran to the 
animals' heads, his well-brushed hat and cockade 
nearly overbalancing him. It was all very smart. 
I told Lady Sykes she would never dare turn round 
in that part of the narrow street while so full of 
traffic. She replied, "You wait and see!" I did, 
and confess it was a very masterly performance. 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 137 

and when the small boy about the size of a postage 
stamp nipped up behind and sat down with a wump, 
folding his arms across his manly bosom almost on 
a level with his chin, I could plainly see he was 
thoroughly enjoying himself, thought it was all 
A. I., as indeed it was. 

Sir Tatten used to complain at times that his 
wife was extravagant. She in return told him it 
was quite unnecessary to wear five greatcoats at 
a time, that also was extravagance. She told him 
once it was "a. superfluity of naughtiness." 

He was a peculiarly shy and nervous man. It 
was quite true he did wear two or three greatcoats, 
— and why not, if it so pleased him. When riding 
or walking about the estate he peeled them off when 
they became oppressive and handed them to a ser- 
vant to carry until required again. 

At one time he grew rather irritable when his 
wife's financial arrangements were being adjusted, 
and he did not recognise his signature on some of 
his cheques. I remember there was some bother 
about it, but it is a long time ago, I have forgotten 
the particulars. He was also displeased when Lady 
Sykes bought "La Fleche" at Baron Hirsh's sale, 
as she had not the money to pay for the horse and 
he did not wish to find it. 

Mr. Henry Cholmondley, a nephew of Sir Tat- 
ten's, lived with him, and was in the house when the 
great fire took place at Sledmere. Fortunately no- 
body was burnt, and as it occurred in the middle of 
the day, most of the valuables were saved. Mr. C. 



138 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

Prior, of Adstock Manor, was also there at the 
time. He was a life-long friend of Sir Tatten's. 

The house has lately been rebuilt on much the 
same lines as the original. 

Sir Tatten will always be remembered as a great 
breeder of thoroughbred yearlings for sale. The 
Sledmere yearlings fetched fabulous prices at Don- 
caster. 

This well-known and liked Yorkshire baronet 
died at the Hotel Metropole in London in 191 3 from 
pneumonia at the age of eighty-eight. 

He certainly did embarrassing things at times, 
but then who does not? I can remember a number 
of odd things done by my friends at different times. 

Mr. Glynn Vivian (brother of Lord Swansea) at 
a party in his own house in Eaton Square came 
into the drawing-room when it was full of people 
and Isador de Lara, or some such musical celebrity, 
was about to play, and walking up to his wife who 
was near me complained to her about a huge vase 
standing on the floor near us filled with towering 
plumes of dried grasses, red, yellow and green. 
These vast dyed fronds were perhaps a rather 
Victorian decoration and Mr. Vivian's taste evi- 
dently did not lie that way. He therefore mounted 
on a chair, filled his arms with the grasses and 
threw them out of the window. I gathered this 
vase and grasses had been an innovation and he did 
not approve. 

At another time when people were expected to 
dinner, at the last moment something upset him and 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 139 

he locked up all the silver ! Frantic notes were sent 
round to ourselves amongst others asking us to 
bring spoons and forks with us ! 

Mrs. Vivian was a very beautiful woman, a Miss 
Craigie-Halkett before she married. I often heard 
her called the ''Virgin Mary" from her likeness to 
some of the beautiful holy pictures, and people 
looked out for her in the fashionable twelve-to-two 
parades in the Park, when we all looked forward 
to a sight of our dignified and beautiful Queen 
Alexandra, then Princess of Wales. 

Some of my women friends have been quite as 
entertaining as the men. Lady Caroline Maddon, 
elder sister of the playmates of my youth. Lady 
May Mostyn and Lady Lina Lyndon, already men- 
tioned in my other book of recollections,* was one 
of the most indefatigable match-makers and quite 
untiring in the interests of her family. Once when 
my youngest brother was giving a party conjointly 
with my husband and myself at the Lyric Club in 
its Bond Street days. Lady Caroline came round a 
few days before to know what eligible young men 
had accepted our invitations. Mrs. George Harvey 
was staying with us at the time and her bachelor 
cousin. Lord Hopetown, having been amongst the 
invited we enlarged upon his many advantages as 
an example of the elegant and beauteous young 
men who were flocking to our party, and Lady 
Caroline went away quite happy. 

On the evening of our party we were asked at 

* Memories Discreet and Indiscreet. 



I40 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

intervals by our friend if Lord Hopetown had 
arrived. He had not at the time we were asked, so 
Mrs. Harvey conceived the idea of keeping Lady 
Caroline amused and happy by introducing a very 
good-looking man to her who had been in one of the 
Highland Regiments and lately married. He was 
not particularly well-endowed with worldly goods, 
but was told he must talk very big to Lady Caroline 
about his yachts, race-horses, etc. This he was 
doing magnificently, while we nodded occasional 
encouragement when someone came up and asked 
the man how his bride was ! 

Another time during that same season, when 
Mrs. Harvey was staying with us, we were dining 
with the Maddons in Chester Square. After dinner 
our hostess asked if we would like to hear her 
daughter recite. The reply was in the affirmative 
from some of the guests. Personally, I fight shy 
of recitations, they always make me feel hysterical, 
especially when delivered by amateurs. What made 
this particular occasion so noticeable was the fuss 
that was made over the unfortunate reciter. First 
she had to stand against a heavy red curtain. Then 
Mrs. George Harvey, who was tall, fair and hand- 
some (as was Miss Maddon), was requested to 
move, as Lady Caroline said, "You won't mind 
moving, will you, Mrs. Harvey? it quite spoils the 
effect two fair people being so near to one an- 
other." A general post then took place and every- 
body felt uncomfortable, conversations interrupted, 
chairs scraped about the room, and at last "Silence" 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 141 

was proclaimed and the recitation began. The re- 
citer is now Lady Cardigan, and has done her duty 
by presenting her lord with an heir. We all felt 
sorry for the poor girl having such a fuss made 
which quite spoilt the effect that might otherwise 
have been produced. Fortunately Miss Maddon 
had become used to her mother's arrangements and 
was not upset in any way, in fact I think she rather 
liked it. 




CHAPTER VII 

The Duchess of Montrose — Her Three Husbands — Pigeon 
Shooting at Hurlingham — Queen Victoria's Veto — The 
Duchess Has a Toss — She Speaks Her Mind — The 
Prince of Wales an Eye-witness — The Prince Tries to 
Avoid a Racing Rumpus — Too Late — Some Curious 
Betting Transactions — The Duchess Expresses Her 
Opinion of Women — ^Women's Clubs — Why They are 
not More Successful — Some Soap-lifters. 

I HAVE met some famous sportswomen at one 
time and another in my life as well as famous 
sportsmen, but as I am dealing with them in 
another book later, I must refrain now from giving 
accounts of their prowess and refer only to their 
personalities. 

One of the greatest sportswomen I ever met was 
Caroline, Duchess of Montrose, sporting in every 
sense of .the word, having owned many racehorses 
and three husbands. She was a great character 
in the seventies and eighties. Whenever I met her 
Emerson's clever saying, "What you are speaks so 
loud I cannot hear what you say," recurred to me. 
Pretend as much as we like, we certainly cannot 
radiate anything unlike our real selves, try as we 
may. It always seemed to me she wished the world 
to think her a hard, cynical woman of dashing 

142 




The Duchess of Montrose 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 143 

daring character, whereas she was really kind and 
tender-hearted, looking for sympathy and apprecia- 
tion as her daily food. While pretending she did 
not care the least w^hat anybody said or thought of 
her, she really cared a great deal. 

She was a daughter of the 2nd Lord Decies, and 
married her first husband, the 4th Duke of Mont- 
rose, in 1836. What her age was when she married 
I do not know exactly, so we will suppose it was 
sweet seventeen. Her second venture was with 
Mr. Stirling Crawford, a fine sportsman, and 
thirdly, with Mr. Henry Milner, m.v.c, d.s.c, who 
had just turned twenty-four years of age when he 
led his bride of some sixty-nine summers to the 
altar at Putney on July 26th, 1888. Mr. Crawford 
died in 1883. 

The first two husbands left her through the de- 
cree of a Higher Power, the third she left for other 
reasons. 

I think I may describe the Duchess as a very 
jolly, happy woman. She enjoyed thoroughly all 
the good things she was able to command and, 
what is more to the point, knew she was having a 
good time. 

Mr. Stirling Crawford, the second husband, was 
a very popular man and an excellent shot, one of 
the founders of the pigeon-shooting shows which 
for some years were so fashionable. They were 
first held in the old Red House at Battersea, and at 
Hornsey Wood in the North of London, now called 
Finsbury Park. He was amongst the first also to 



144 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

put gun to shoulder at Hurlingham. It was at the 
latter place that women first became enamoured of 
the sport that was christened later by one of the 
leading London papers "The slaughter of the 
doves." 

The men all had their handicap distance fixed up 
just as you now see on golf links. Professional 
betting men were not allowed at Hurlingham, 
though I believe this was not the case at the Gun 
Club. 

As soon as Hurlingham became popular it was 
bought for the purpose of pigeon-shooting from 
Mr. Naylor, the owner of ''Macaroni" who won the 
Derby in 1863. 

At one time we all used to flock down to see the 
shooting at Hurlingham. The women were placed 
on the left-hand side of the traps and were supposed 
to be non-betters, but did not consider it betting 
when the wagers were in gloves or scent! 

The shooting men were ranged on the other side 
and had the advantage of some shade from a huge 
walnut tree, under which they gambled freely. The 
women had to provide themselves with shade from 
their parasols. These meetings in the earlier days 
of their fame were most instructive, simple and 
entertaining. 

Captain Bachelor used to be the "bookie" on the 
Saturday afternoon for the chief prize at long odds 
against each individual shooter. It was always 
ready money, and the secretary used to file on penny 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 145 

files the fiver' entrance fees much as tradesmen 
people do their accounts. All betted heavily. 

The highest in the land were bitten with the 
pigeon-shooting craze. The Prince of Wales, the 
Duke of Edinburgh and many crowned heads of 
Europe were fairly regular attendants at the meet- 
ings. 

At last Queen Victoria, hearing of the shooting 
of the poor little trapped birds and of a certain 
dispute there had been over some heavy betting, 
put a veto on the meetings as far as any of her 
belongings or Court were concerned. This was a 
terrible blow, and all the shooting fraternity went 
about with long faces muttering imprecations. 

Then for a short time Hurlingham felt itself out 
in the cold and in a measure in disgrace. The place 
then drifted by degrees to its present stage, trees 
were cut down in a neighbouring apple orchard and 
turned into a polo ground, but shooting was not 
entirely abandoned. Eventually in the zenith of 
its fame there was both polo and shooting. 

I have strayed away rather from the Duchess of 
Montrose, but it was thinking of her that brought 
back dear old H' lingham to my mind, and the part 
played there ^- :ten by Mr. Crawford. 

It was here also that the poor Duchess quite un- 
willingly distinguished herself while looking on at 
the shooting. Arm-chairs, luxurious seats and 
lounges were unheard of in those days at these 
meetings; simple wooden schoolboy forms placed 
in rows were provided. The Duchess seeing room 



146 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

on one of these occupied by other lookers-on 
perched herself upon the end of it. All were watch- 
ing Mr. Crawford's shooting with anxious eyes — 
it had been heavily betted on. It so happened on 
this particular day there was a very full attendance, 
the Prince of Wales, the Duke of Edinburgh and a 
number of royalties looking on. Suddenly great 
excitement was caused by Mr. Crawford's brilliant 
shooting and people jumped up suddenly, including 
the men sitting on the same bench as the Duchess, 
with the natural result that the bench stood on its 
head and so did she. Her parasol, which she had 
been holding over her head, took the opportunity 
to shut up like a candle-extinguisher. It was a 
nasty and surprising toss for a big heavy woman, 
and it was not in the days of hobble skirts and 
black silk stockings. 

It was a great shame to laugh, but no one could 
help it, even the perfect-mannered Prince of Wales 
had to pretend he did not see while endeavouring to 
hide his amusement. The only person unable to 
enjoy the joke was the lady herself. Usually none 
were more ready to be amused, but for once her 
cheery face was clouded as she picked herself up, 
and turned on the man standing nearest to her 
holding his sides with laughter. Naturally this 
incensed her, and she told him her opinion of his 
manners. To make matters worse this individual, 
who happened to be an Irishman, while profuse in 
apologies and hopes that she was none the worse, 
said he had no idea she was such an acrobat ! This 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 147 

complicated matters somewhat and while some 
drew forth immaculate silk handkerchiefs and 
dusted the good lady down she advised her laughing 
Irish friend to go on laughing and to hold his fat 
vulgar sides while doing so. 

I must not leave the subject of Hurlingham with- 
out mentioning the old gardener who had been in 
charge for many years. When the place was con- 
verted into the smart club it became later, the poor 
old man was put into livery, and he had to stand 
at the gate as the members and their friends ar- 
rived. He was dreadfully pained. It was bad 
enough to be obliged to wear a long dark green sort 
of frock-coat with brass buttons and gold braid, but 
when it came to trousers with gold braid, and a tall 
hat ornamented in the same way, it was almost 
more than he could bear, his self -consciousness 
being quite painful. 

I think everybody remembers that the Duchess 
of Montrose was well known on the race-course. 
A member of the Jockey Club once said to me in 
connection with the Duchess's racing, "Like most 
women who come racing and take an active part in 
the management of the horses and so forth, she is 
a nuisance. Crawford is old and feeble and allows 
his missus to hold the reins." 

At this time and during the lifetime of her sec- 
ond husband she raced under the name of Crawford 
and won many classic races. After his death she 
ran them under the name of Mr. Manton. 

As a matter of fact, I know she did exactly what 



14B FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

she liked and, at one time and another, caused a 
good deal of trouble both before and after her 
husband's death. As she would listen to all sorts 
of tales she gradually became most suspicious of 
her surroundings generally. She was always 
changing her commissioners and engaging new 
ones to put her money in, her chief fault being she 
expected all the long prices. It was over a little 
affair of this kind that she got herself disliked. 
There was quite a hostile demonstration against her 
at Newmarket in October, 1882, when out of a fit 
of pique she scratched the mare "Thebais," one of 
the favourites for the Cambridgeshire of that year, 
because she had been forestalled in the betting and 
could not get the price she wanted. 

Mr. Crawford was at that time very ill at Cannes, 
where he died in February, 1883, Sir Morell 
Mackenzie having operated on his throat, for which 
he received one thousand guineas; but was unable 
to save his life. 

This little racing unpleasantness arose through 
the Duchess saying if some of the long prices were 
not turned up to her she would not run the mare 
at all. Nobody really thought she was in earnest 
until the last moment when she adhered to her 
avowed intention in spite of her many friends' pro- 
tests. Sir Frederick Johnson tried hard to make 
her listen to reason. The very night before the race 
several people I know journeyed down to Sefton 
Lodge to try and prevent her doing anything so 
exceedingly unpopular, or, as James Lowther ex- 




Tlie Earl of Coventiy 
A Racecourse Snapshot 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 149 

pressed it, "Not to make a fool of herself." But 
it was all useless. The Prince of Wales even took 
the trouble to go and advise her, but by the time 
he arrived the mischief had been done. She had 
written the fatal letter and sent it to Weatherby's 
to scratch the mare, after which nothing more could 
be done, Royal or otherwise. 

I do not think the Duchess quite understood what 
a serious thing she was doing, for she was a kindly 
good-hearted woman who liked people to be sport- 
ing and have a good time. Feeling naturally ran 
very high at Newmarket, and when in an earlier 
race before the time the Cambridgeshire was set 
to be run in, a horse of hers cantered past the stand 
in her Grafton scarlet, a roar of hooting and groan- 
ing went up from the general public stands, and 
my theory that the Duchess had not realised what 
she had done, was, I think, proved by her wonder- 
ment at what the row was all about, in fact she 
asked quite innocently in the Jockey Club enclosure 
what the hullaballoo was about. 

When she was told briefly in the one word 
"Thebais," she stood still for a moment and then 
entirely broke down. Nobody would speak to her 
in the saddling paddock. I do not know what would 
have happened but for kind Lord Coventry be- 
friending her and leading her out of the crowd into 
a horse-box. What he said to her I do not know, 
but she was seen no more on the heath that day. 

After this there was another inclination on the 
part of the crowd to hoot her colours, but Mr. 



150 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

Weatherby showed tact and good taste by asking 
the bookies to desist. This request was quickly 
passed from one to the other, and attention paid 
to it. 

I feel certain the scratching of "Thebais" was 
not done "out of spite," as I have heard it described, 
but from, failing to realise what it would entail, for, 
as I have said, the Duchess was not a malicious or 
ill-natured woman, and I know for a fact that she 
never ceased regretting that unhappy stroke of the 
pen. 

Poor lady, it was well she won some big plums 
and had the satisfaction of seeing her horses win 
big races to counterbalance the difficulties and un- 
pleasantnesses in which at times she found herself. 

With her betting she was not always happy and 
got into some pretty tiresome muddles. For in- 
stance, when "Corrie Roy" was entered for the 
Goodwood Stakes and *'Oberon" for the Lincoln- 
shire Handicap, although both horses won she stood 
a loser ! It was altogether rather complicated, for 
in the "Corrie Roy" case she lay against the mare, 
then backed it, then reported it a non-starter with 
the same threatened fate as "Thebais." However, 
the matter was put straight and "Corrie Roy" 
achieved a big performance. 

It was, however, a case of the "biter bit," for the 
man who had the commission of backing the mare 
to win died in the interval of victory and settling 
day. Her agent had, therefore, no account and all 
the bets he made were invalid. 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 151 

"Oberon," the horse she ran at Lincoln, was the 
self-same animal that Lord William Beresford took 
out to India with a view of winning the Viceroy's 
Cup, but it may be remembered that climate did 
not suit the horse and he proved so uncertain he 
was returned to England, where he proved useful 
at stud. But for the fact of a telegram being de- 
layed in transit, "Oberon" would never have run in 
that race at Lincoln. 

Once a man got a little piqued with the Duchess 
over a betting transaction. She had asked him to 
put one thousand pounds for her on a horse that 
failed to win. The money was not forthcoming at 
Tattersall's on the following Monday. Thinking 
this strange, he called the same evening on the 
Duchess and, as he was shown into the hall, she 
came down the stairs and said she had forgotten all 
about it, or words to that effect. A moment later 
she changed her line of argument and said she sup- 
posed the account was all right and that she knew 
he was a rich man and would not be inconvenienced. 
To which he replied, "That's all very well, your 
Grace, but my money is in bricks and mortar, and 
we don't settle with them at Tattersall's." 

For years there has been a story of some lady- 
owner becoming irate with her jockey after he had 
been beaten, when armed with her orders to jump 
off as soon as the flag fell, come right through and 
win. The jockey did his best but failed to obtain 
notice of the judge, so he was accosted by the owner 
with, "Did I not tell you to come along as fast as 



152 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

you could?" to which he answered, "And so I did, 
but I could not come along without the horse." The 
lady was the Duchess of Montrose and the jockey 
little Henry Huxtable and not Sam Loates as has 
been at times suggested. 

The Duchess built a mausoleum to the memory 
of her second husband at Newmarket and used to 
visit it every morning when in the neighbourhood. 
She often found an old man there also praying for 
the dead. His name was Potter. He frequently 
turned up to mourn departed sportsmen and sym- 
pathise with the relatives, receiving the widow's 
mite in return! 

All people who through sport, or indeed in any 
way, become public characters have wild stories re- 
lated about them, and the Duchess did not escape. 
One story was that after Mr. Crawford died she 
suggested to Fred Archer, the jockey, that she would 
have no objection to his being her third husband, 
but he had other views. I am under the impres- 
sion she may have said something of the kind in 
chaff and had it misconstrued, but when I have sug- 
gested this I have been told it was nothing of the 
kind. However, I am entitled to hold my own 
opinion ; but undoubtedly the story went round that 
Archer asked Captain Machell if he married the 
Duchess would he thereby become the Duke of 
Montrose ? ... Si non e vero ben trovato ! ! 

This very sporting lady's third husband, Mr. 
Henry Milner, did not live with her very long. 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 153 

There was no divorce or anything so vulgar, they 
agreed to disagree like sensible people. 

In Lady Cardigan's reminiscences she says that 
the Duchess of Montrose "pulled" "Thebais," which 
is quite a mistake; she should have said "scratched." 
Perhaps that was what she meant to say, but what 
does it matter? Who thinks or cares anything 
about these nine days' wonders even a month or 
two after they have taken place, all is forgotten or 
embroidered out of all recognition. 

After Mr. Crawford's death I am under the im- 
pression that the Duchess ran her horses in the 
colours of Sir Frederick Johnstone. 

In November, 1894, she died, and some of her 
stable was sold at the Newmarket December sales. 
I do not remember what the total figure amounted 
to; but I know ten mares brought in 10,440 guineas 
and ten horses in training 17,215 guineas. One sale 
of her Sefton Stud realised the tidy little sum of 
£52,305. This was, however, only a small portion 
of her stud. 

She was buried in the mausoleum she had built 
for Mr. Crawford near Sefton Lodge at Newmar- 
ket. 

Her racing colours did not appear in the Racing 
Calendar from 1894 until revived by the present 
Lord Decies. 

I once had a great discussion with the Duchess 
on the question of who were the greatest scandal- 
mongers, men or women. She maintained that 
women were the worst culprits, saying, "They are 



154 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

mostly jealous spiteful cats." I did not agree, and 
suggested men's clubs and smoking-rooms were the 
places from whence came most of the scandal and 
gossip. I remember my husband telling me some 
wonderful stories dealing with men's racing trans- 
actions and women's morals which he had heard at 
''the club." I told him I had always understood 
women's names were not mentioned in better-class 
clubs. He replied, "Oh, that's all bunkum!" 

It is, I know, supposed that ladies' five-o'clock 
teas are responsible for much scandal. I have not 
found it so, and I am glad my friends are not of 
the order who find pleasure in saying unkind things 
about other people ; they neither like it nor will they 
tolerate anything of the kind. When a few nice- 
minded women set their faces against ill-natured 
gossip it is surprising how quickly it dies a natural 
death in that immediate neighbourhood. There are 
many more interesting things to talk about than our 
own or our neighbour's follies. It is safer to talk 
of things than people; except when writing Mem- 
ories ! 

I have certainly met more men with tongues that 
ran away with them than I have women, and a 
diplomatist or two who have been very clever with 
their innuendoes, the property of which we all know 
is to create an impression unawares. One man I 
know who is living to-day is quite accomplished in 
this art. 

Speaking of clubs, reminds me how very unclub- 
able women are, which no doubt accounts for the 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 155 

number of those establishments that have not been 
successes and have had to close their doors. For 
years I wondered what women wanted clubs for 
and supposed it was to get away from their hus- 
bands, in the same way that men belong to clubs to 
get away from their womenkind. That, however, 
does not apply now, for it would be so unnecessary 
when we all lead such separate lives, indeed it would 
be considered bourgeois to know where our hus- 
bands are. I can see now that these institutions 
may be very useful, and in hopes of finding their 
utility have belonged to several. At the present 
moment I am a member of two. 

After deep study I have come to the conclusion 
that many of the comparative failures in the wom- 
en's club movement have not by any means always 
been the fault of the club managers, but rather of 
the members themselves. A new cult seems to have 
sprung up. I do not mean the Suffragettes or the 
down-with-everybody-and-everything-ist, we know 
all about them, but the club fiend is a new creation, 
a thing apart. I am learning to know her by sight, 
she mostly wears cotton gloves and sniffs! There 
are many of her kind and they specialise in all the 
vices that make club life unbearable, but their vices 
vary. 

In one of my clubs I witnessed some strange 
conduct. I encountered soap-lifters who could not 
resist putting the soap in their pockets after wash- 
ing their hands. Others who were so hypnotised by 
the hair-pins that they had to cram as many into 



156 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

their hair as it would hold. One woman, who did 
not think I could see her reflection in the glass in 
front of me, looked like a hedgehog before she left 
the room, she had very little hair but many hair- 
pins. Then the writing-paper and envelopes seem 
to be quite irresistible. 

In the reading-room I have seen women collect 
newspapers in heaps and sit down on them, spread- 
ing their skirts so as to hide all traces, much as 
broody hens fluffle out their feathers. These club 
women even cut out portions of the papers when 
they think nobody is looking. 

Women's clubs are things that have come to stay, 
I know, but I think most women who belong to 
them will allow that the club fiend eats like a canker 
into club life. 

It is a humiliating thought, but women do not 
amalgamate happily, having apparently an inherited 
mistrust of one another, and from what I have ob- 
served in clubs, with some reason. Many will not 
conform to the necessary rules of club life, which is 
silly and short-sighted as the rules are formed en- 
tirely for their own comfort and convenience. 

In fact to be an ideal club woman it is necessary 
not to expect too much from one's fellow-members. 
Women have the almost universal failing of want- 
ing to be too intimate, of asking too many questions, 
and making too many confidences. They are not 
satisfied with the easy comradeship that exists be- 
tween men who may belong to the same club for 
years, meeting constantly the same people, and yet 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 157 

not know whether they are married, single or di- 
vorced, where they live, or anything about them, 
their chief topic of conversation having been poli- 
tics, sport, guns and such-like matters, with no per- 
sonal matters introduced. 

The first thing a woman wants to ferret out ap- 
pears to be if the woman she meets is happy in her 
home life, how many children she has and all the 
intimate details of her domestic life. After this 
information is digested they are either bosom pals 
or at daggers drawn, and even in the case of the 
bosom pals, before long they often, indeed, almost 
invariably, end in what diplomatists call "strained 
relations." 

Another reason why I doubt if club life will ap- 
peal to all is that instinct of "home," the beauteous 
word manufactured by the Teutonic people which 
is so deeply rooted in our hearts. Clubs are of 
course meant to be our temporary homes, but each 
individual member must not expect to run it on 
her own lines, for they are not in control of the 
establishment. 

I think a little more dignity and reserve on the 
part of women joining clubs would lead to greater 
comfort and happiness all round, and I think that 
now women have broken away from the old-fash- 
ioned idea of its being "not nice" to appear in any 
role except that of pandering to man, they should 
try and acclimatise themselves to club life, try and 
be logical and prove they are at any rate capable 
of governing themselves. 



158 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

When people used to tell me extraordinary 
stories of things done in "Hen Clubs," I used to 
think these dear kind people were trying to amuse 
me, never believing for a moment such things did 
really happen, but now I know, for one afternoon 
I wandered into a club and not finding the papers 
I wanted asked one of the servants what had be- 
come of them. He looked wearily round the room, 
shrugged his shoulders, and said, "Pinched!" 
After waiting some time and being unable to find 
the papers, and the papers not finding me, I went 
into the hall and waylaid an official, who in a piqued 
voice said either they were not out yet or had been 
carried to members' bed-rooms! I then drove off 
to Victoria Station and got what I wanted from the 
railway bookstall. 

I do not trouble this club much now. In another 
to which I at one time belonged, but which is now 
no more, both sexes were allowed, and in the com- 
plaint book I read one day, "Is it the correct thing 
for waiters to come into the room in their shirt 
sleeves at eleven o'clock in the morning?" Further 
down on the same page, "The food is bad and ex- 
pensive," to which some wag had remarked imme- 
diately beneath it, "No self-respecting chef will 
stay in a woman's club where they have poached 
eggs for dinner. No wonder he gets slack. Ask 
next time for larks' eyebrows devilled on toast, you 
will then see what a professor he is." 

A member of a well-known ladies' club lately 
vouched for the truth of the following: 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 159 

A certain lady playing at bridge there lost a 
largish "parcel" and had not the necessary ready 
to settle up, so pulled a couple of diamond rings 
from off her fingers and flung them down to 
her opponent in settlement. They proved to be 
Parisian and worth less than what she had lost. 

Next time these ladies met in the club the one 
who had been paid in Parisian diamonds went for 
their former owner and pulled her hair, unfortu- 
nately it had not been grafted very firmly and tou- 
pee, wig or whatever it was, came away bodily leav- 
ing a very lonely looking bald pate. 

Until women as a body realise their responsibil- 
ities and observe the amenities of club life the 
woman's club movement can never be an unquali- 
fied success; and we must bear in mind, new ideas 
without the sanction of tradition must ever strug- 
gle for existence. 



CHAPTER VIII 

Some Racing Ladies — Stakes Given to the Red Cross Fund 
— Prince Soltykoff a Faithful Friend — Lord Alfred Pa- 
get Patron of the Theatre — Queen Alexandra's Interest 
in Racing — Her Sympathy and Enjoyment of a Joke — 
In Her Home at Sandringham — The Fatigue of Ladies- 
in- Waiting — Lady Macclesfield and Bishop Wilberforce 
— Lady Ely Asked her Favourites at Court — The Ger- 
man Emperor at Osborne — Queen Victoria and John 
Brown — The Duke of Connaught's Early Speech-making 
— Mr, Bolckow the Duke's Host at Marton — Starving 
amidst Plenty— A Tactful Host. 

WHEN the war broke out there were no less 
than nineteen ladies with colours regis- 
tered under the rules of racing and the 
National Hunt. 

The Duchess of Newcastle, who is a first-rate 
judge of both horse and hound, and who in her 
youth was known as "Ta-Ta" Candy, daughter of 
that fine sportsman, "Sugar Candy," has played the 
most conspicuous if not the most important part in 
later day racing. Perhaps I ought to bracket Lady 
James Douglas with her. The latter breeds a good 
many horses and makes good prices in the sale-ring 
with her stock. 

In steeple-chasing Lady Nelson comes out on top. 
She won the Liverpool Grand National of 19 15 with 

160 



^p* 




zm^ 



Ladv Nelson 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS i6i 

her "Ally Sloper," and gave the whole of the stakes 
to the Red Cross Funds. She is, I think, the only 
lady who has ever won that great event, and cer- 
tainly the only one I have ever heard of who has 
so splendidly and usefully applied the stakes and 
winnings. 

There have oeen fierce arguments as to whether 
she was at Liverpool to see her horse win, and there 
has been betting on it. As a matter of fact, she was 
not there, but in town on the day of the race. On 
hearing of her good luck she proceeded at once to 
Liverpool, arriving next day, and stood with her 
horse to be photographed, which no doubt led peo- 
ple into the belief that she was there on the great 
day. Her racing colours are white, light blue sash 
and blue cap, her husband's are white jacket with 
a red, white and blue sash and red cap, out of com- 
pliment to the white funnels of the Nelson line of 
steamers with which his name has been so long 
associated. Both Sir William Nelson ( ist Baronet) 
and his wife, speak of the "sash" across the jacket, 
which is a very modern term for the historic "rac- 
ing belt." "Ally Sloper" has not done much since 
his Liverpool triumph, and his then jockey is now 
in khaki. Both Sir William and Lady Nelson are 
fond of horses and racing, and spend a good deal 
of time at their stud farm, County Meath. They 
also have horses in England at Lambourne. When 
I congratulated Lady Nelson a short time ago on 
her noble gift to the Red Cross Fund, she very 
sweetly said, it was not only a pleasure to give it, but 



i62 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

she considered it her duty. I wish a few more felt 
as dutiful. 

Miss Ethel Clinton also raced and, like Mrs. 
Langtry, has been on the stage. That Russian but- 
terfly, Prince Soltykoff, paid her great attention in 
the long agos, but she was not his first love. Reg- 
ular theatre goers well remember seeing her on 
warm summer evenings walking arm-in-arm with 
the Prince along the Strand to the Globe Theatre. 
When she and her patrons revived *'Les Cloches de 
Corneville" it was a very pleasant show, with much 
harmony both before and behind the curtain. Lord 
Alfred Paget was one of the patrons who shared 
the harmony behind the scenes; he was a frequent 
visitor. The chorus liked him and he liked them. 

Kate Munro, a most fascinating and clever act- 
ress, was the leading lady. There were those be- 
hind the scenes who said she was befriended by a 
Royal personage, and I was amused at being told 
that one very wet Saturday afternoon when she had 
promised two nice little children of hers that they 
should come and see mamma act, but owing to the 
wet she thought they would not come. The nurse 
arrived with them, and they were escorted behind 
the scenes to their fond parent. When she saw them 
she said, "Oh, nurse, nurse, why did you bring these 
children out on such a wet afternoon? Dear! 
dear! what would their Royal grandmamma say if 
they caught cold !" 

The chorus who overheard this were amused. 
They were not quite of the same standard as the 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 163 

chorus girls of to-day, though perhaps more easily 
pleased. 

When Prince Soltykoff's wife died he did not 
marry again, as many thought he would, but was 
very faithful to his old friends, and at his death 
left his Newmarket home, Kremlin House (now in 
the possession of Mr. Joe Butters) to Miss Clinton; 
also his racehorses. She has never done anything 
of importance with them, but continued to race in 
the pronounced pink jacket and black cap so popu- 
lar in the days of that sporting Russian's racing. 

Racing has never claimed any of our English 
Royal ladies, or Royal gentlemen either for that 
matter, except King Edward; he was keenly inter- 
ested; Queen Alexandra was not, until her King, 
then Prince of Wales, won his first Derby with 
"Persimmon" in 1896, after which she expressed a 
wish to go into the weighing room at Epsom and see 
the jockeys weighed out, and other details of that 
sanctum. 

It was Queen Alexandra who hit upon the happy 
nomenclature of ''Diamond Jubilee" for the brother 
of "Persimmon," who won the Derby the same year 
as Queen Victoria celebrated her notable Diamond 
Jubilee. 

The present Queen Mother has a great sense of 
humour and enjoys a joke; sympathetic people often 
do, and she is the most sympathetic of all our 
Royal family, quickly responding to the mood of 
those she is speaking to, whether grave or gay. She 
is reported to have said one of the best stories she 



i64 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

ever heard was of an old lady who suffered from 
an affection of the nose, that is to say the little dew- 
drop that comes unawares on the tip of our nose 
in cold and damp weather. This became a source 
of annoyance to the old lady, so she told her foot- 
man whenever he observed this phenomenon to say 
politely, "Thomas is waiting, my lady," so as to 
call her attention to it. One day, while waiting at 
table, the flunkey discovered it was time to obey his 
orders, but felt shy. At last he summoned up suffi- 
cient courage to say, "Thomas was waiting, my 
lady, but now he is in your soup !" 

In 1885 or 1886 I think it must have been, when 
Monsieur Lacretelle, the portrait painter, was paint- 
ing a picture of Queen Alexandra and her dogs, he 
asked her how she would like them taken, stand- 
ing, lying down, or what position. She replied 
with a charming smile, "On their behinds," only in 
French it sounded much more piquante. Lacretelle 
drew a pencil sketch of me at the same time and 
made me so beautiful that I vowed I would never 
again have a photograph or picture taken, but some 
light-fingered person walked away with it during 
one of our crushes or bun struggles, so my pride 
and vanity had to suffer by appearing in a photo- 
graph in my usual everyday face, shorn of the 
beauty that had been in the eye of the beholder 
when the sketch was made. It was only a quite 
small head and shoulders, but I fancied it enor- 
mously. 

I like to think, in my dreams, of Queen Alexandra 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 165 

at Sandringham, where she is happy amongst her 
pets, and where she can shed a Httle of the fatiguing 
rnantle of estabhshed precedent. Where she can be 
the woman and the mother as well as the Queen. 
Where she can wander out of the big black and gold 
gates given to her and the Prince of Wales when 
they bought the place, and across to York Cottage 
and round to the creeper and ivy-clad little church 
within stone's-throw of the house. Here for many 
years she has carried all her joys and woes, then 
back across the drive to the flower gardens on the 
other side of the house, where flowers bloom galore, 
especially her favourite flower, mignonette. Every- 
thing about the place looks so cared for and content. 
The pheasants hardly get out of your way, the 
lodges to the side entrances all covered with well- 
ordered rambling creepers and roses, the model ken- 
nels where her treasures live, each division with a 
well-kept lawn for the pleasure of the inhabitants 
eitlier to lie and bask in the sun or for gentle ex- 
ercise. 

The hospitality at Sandringham is thoroughly 
simple and homely, after the fashion of our big 
country houses. The Royalties do not usually ap- 
pear until midday, unless shooting is on the tapis. 

Queen Alexandra is a keen observer; nothing 
escapes her. I remember once sitting with Lady 
Macclesfield, during one of her days in waiting at 
Marlborough House, and in such a dull, uninterest- 
ing room, more like a station waiting-room than 
anything else I could think of. She was knitting 



i66 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

uncomfortable looking garments of strange shapes 
for the poor, and there she had to remain unless sent 
for by her Royal mistress or until she was told her 
services would not be required any further that 
day. 

I did not like to ask her if she was very dull. It 
was such a leading question, and I am sure we would 
all sit day in and day out in a dull uninteresting 
room if by so doing we could be of any service to 
such a splendid Queen who has so faithfully ful- 
filled her role throughout her life, so ably filled that 
position into which it pleased God to call her. 

When the message came that Lady Macclesfield's 
services would not be required any more that day, 
she drove me home, and on the way I asked her if 
she found the standing as tiring as Lady Downe did 
when in waiting on Queen Victoria. She said there 
was no getting away from the fact that it was most 
fatiguing, especially at big functions, but that Queen 
Alexandra, who was then Princess of Wales, was 
most considerate when able to do as she liked in her 
own home, being most observant of fatigue on the 
part of her ladies-in-waiting. 

Dear, kind and good Lady Macclesfield was quite 
smart at repartee. Once when talking to Bishop 
Wilberforce, otherwise known as "Soapy Sam," 
who died the sudden death on the Downs near Dork- 
ing that he had always said was the one he should 
like, he was explaining to her about his weight and 
that he knew exactly to an ounce what it was when 
in his bath. She replied, referring to his sobriquet, 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 167 

"Would that be with or without the soap, my lord?" 

The conversation seems to have been of rather an 
intimate nature, but perhaps that was the bishop's 
polite way of explaining he knew his weight with- 
out any of his clothes being taken into considera- 
tion. 

A story is told of this same reverend gentleman 
when rating a curate, to whom he said, "I do not 
like to hear of the clergy in my diocese galloping 
about after hounds and neglecting their work." 

The curate, who was considerably braver than 
many I have seen in the presence of their ecclesias- 
tic superiors, replied, "You go to balls, my Lord." 

"Yes," said the bishop, "but I am never in the 
same room as the dancers." 

The curate replied : "And I am never in the same 
field as the hounds, my lord." 

This is an old story often told, but is rather a 
good one. 

But to return to the fatigue of ladies-in-waiting. 
Poor Lady Downe used to catch the most terrible 
colds when on duty. I remember Lady Sefton 
. bringing her to see me once when she could hardly 
see out of her eyes and her nose was red. I enquired 
how she had managed to get such a bad cold. She 
said it was the result of having been "in waiting" 
for a month, adding, "The Queen loves fresh air, 
and can live in a wind and thorough draught that 
would kill many people. She is very strong, full of 
energy, and can stand indefinitely herself. I some- 



i68 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

times find it all I can do to hold up to the end of my 
waiting." 

Lady Ely, who was the wife of the third Mar- 
quess, was for years Lady of the Bed-chamber to 
Queen Victoria, and was the most charming per- 
son. Everybody who had any favour to ask from 
Her Majesty used to ask Lady Ely to see what she 
could do, knowing how much the Queen liked her 
and what influence she had. It was she who at 
Colonel Fred Burnaby's instigation asked the Queen 
if she would reinstate Valentine Baker in the army, 
and was told she had already offered to do so, but 
he had expressed himself as unable to accept any 
favour at the hands of the Queen after the way she 
had supported Miss Dickinson at the trial, and sent 
her a signed photograph. 

Once when Lady Ely was asked which of the 
Royal Family she liked best, she said, 'The Queen, 
she is always so courteous and expresses herself as 
so grateful for anything that is done for her, mak- 
ing it a pleasure if we can be of any service." Then 
when asked which she liked least, replied likewise, 
without any hesitation, "The German Emperor., 
he is so over-bearing and often rude. The only 
person on earth of whom he stands in the least awe 
is Queen Victoria, his grandmother. He behaves 
very nicely in her presence, but when staying once 
at Osborne in the Queen's later years, news reached 
Her Majesty that her grandson had been up early 
and with the gardeners, asking all sorts of ques- 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 169 

tions and ferreting about. The riot act was read 
to him and he did not like it." 

I always thought the Queen a pathetic little fig- 
ure and so extraordinarily kind. Once when she 
heard I was in great sorrow she sent Lady Downe 
to see me to express her sympathy, and later com- 
manded me to Windsor where she showed such 
tenderness and feeling that I quite forgot to be 
stilted and when in reply to a remark of hers I so 
far forgot myself as to say, "Happiness unshared 
has no taste," I think we both had to restrain our 
feeling, or we should have fallen into each other's 
arms, for tears were in her eyes and voice, as well 
as mine. 

The Royal Family are all good at making 
speeches, considering how little there is that they 
may say. King Edward VII was of course the 
best. He had the happy knack of leaving the im- 
pression that he had said a great deal more than 
he really had. The Queen hated having to make 
a speech, and seldom did so, but when it was un- 
avoidable she spoke clearly and with no hesitation. 
She spoke at the opening of the Imperial Institute, 
but was obviously nervous. Many are still living 
who can remember her faithful servant- friend and 
adviser, John Brown, who seldom left her side. He 
was not a favourite with the rest of the Royal 
Family. 

When Her Majesty was in residence at Osborne 
she used to breakfast in the grounds and attend to 
her correspondence there, the faithful John Brown 



170 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

in highland kit being at her side — I wonder where 
the garden-seat is now? — on which she always sat 
and which bore the following inscription: — 

"To the Memory of John Brown, a devoted and 
attached servant and friend of Victoria R.I." 

He died in 1883. ^ slight idea of how entirely 
he was part of her life and how she had grown to 
lean on him may be gathered from, the following. 
When she was travelling in Scotland, and was 
passing the shooting lodge of the Sutherlands 
where they were at the time, she told John Brown, 
who as usual was sitting behind her in his dicky 
seat, that she wished to stop and call on the Suther- 
lands. They asked the Queen to get out of the 
carriage and go in and have some tea, but she de- 
clined until John Brown leaned over and said, "I 
would if I were you. It will warm you up." No 
doubt he had one eye on his own "in'ards," which 
were feeling cold, as well as an eye on the comfort 
of the Queen. 

Again when at Baveno on the Italian Lakes, the 
Queen was in the garden of the hotel waiting for 
Brown. When he appeared she said, "I have been 
waiting for you." Instead of apologies and falling 
flat on his face, he replied, "Well, I must say you 
look very summery," she being in her usual straw 
hat, white Cashmere shawl and elastic-sided boots, 
but had on a white veil to save her eyes a little. 

Cashmere shawls were always kept in stock for 
presents, and beautifully silky and soft they were. 
I had one, but it was left in India wrapped round 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 171 

something very tender and precious in an Indian 
cemetery. 

At Balmoral there is a statue erected by order of 
the Queen to John Brown's memory, a tombstone 
in Crathie churchyard for which she invited Lord 
Tennyson to suggest an inscription, and at Osborne 
the granite seat with the pathetic words to his 
memory. 

Once when driving through the gates of Bucking- 
ham Palace, a youth, named Arthur Connor, who 
pretended he was a Fenian, pointed an unloaded 
pistol at Her Majesty. He was at once seized by 
John Brown who, to commemorate his vigilance, 
was presented with a medal and a small (very 
small) annuity of £25. 

Turning over some old notes and letters a short 
time ago I came across one asking me to go to 
Marlborough House and advise about some things 
wanted for Princess Louise's wedding with the 
Duke of Fife. The Princess Royal has much the 
same gentle manner and dignity of her mother; 
more so than either of her sisters. She has a little 
of that look of almost sad enquiry that is so attract- 
ive in Queen Alexandra. 

I think I must have heard the Duke of Con- 
naught make his first speech when he came to Mid- 
dlesborough to open a park for the people, a present 
to the borough from Mr. Bolckow, head of the now 
world-famed iron and steel works. 

Having made his fortune in these works, Mr. 
Bolckow was anxious to leave some lasting re- 



172 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

membrance of the years he had toiled, at first with 
hands and then with brain while making his vast 
fortune. 

I was a small child at the time and was taken by 
my people to the station to meet the Prince, who 
had been sent down to begin and relieve his elder 
brother of some of the many dull and tiresome 
ceremonies that were his almost daily bill of fare. 

I do not know exactly what I expected to see; 
possibly something after the fashion of Prince Bo- 
hoo in my fairy tales, but I remember being great- 
ly disappointed that there was no glitter, no crown, 
no golden wands, nothing but a rather delicate- 
looking nervous young man in plain every-day 
clothes who read a speech in which amongst other 
things that I have since heard many times, he said, 
"My beloved mother will be glad I know to hear 
of the kind reception you have given to me on this 
auspicious occasion," etc. There was a little ner- 
vous halting once or twice, followed by a little 
prompting from some rather funereal-looking men 
standing behind the Prince. Even at that early 
age I felt sorry for him. He had not then ac- 
quired the easy flow of language which came later, 
and is peculiar to our Royalties. 

Mr. Bolckow, the host of Prince Arthur, was a 
dear old man who lived in great magnificence in an 
uncomfortable sort of way in a big red-brick house 
requiring centuries to soften its crudeness. It stood 
well exposed to the high road in a field or two 
sparsely timbered, railed in with high iron railings 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 173 

to protect the deer and gas-lamps that abounded in 
the enclosure, through which with several gates ran 
an asphalt drive. 

The house at Marton was stored with priceless 
pictures, statues and bric-a-brac. I well remember 
Mr. Bolckow and his sweet little wife in those days. 
I think they were Germans and certainly spoke 
English with an accent and absence of aspirates. A 
few days before the arrival of the Prince I had 
been taken to see the room being prepared for his 
occupation where everything was white, blue and 
gold. The carpet was blue, crockery-blue and gold, 
curtains blue satin ''which stood by itself" like the 
satin gowns of our grandmothers. (How uncom- 
fortable they must have been.) Blue satin curtains 
to the bed with beautiful deep fringe to tickle the 
Prince's nose as he got into bed. It was at the end 
of the time when to lie in bed without curtains to 
draw round was the height of indecency. 

Mr. Bolckow asked me if I would like to see the 
" 'orses" being drilled and broken in to make 
sure of their steadiness when bringing the Prince 
through crowded streets. 

It was very exciting watching the horses learn- 
ing their work; they were splendidly matched. 
Anyone unused to horses might have found it diffi- 
cult to tell one from the other so exactly alike were 
the four, while the postilions might have been twins. 

School children had been collected to shout hur- 
rahs. Bands played with big drums booming in 
the animals' ears. 



174 FURTHER- INDISCRETIONS 

I wonder if the Prince was as elated as we were 
with the grandeur of the carriage and perfections 
of the horses. He may have been bored to tears, 
even longing for the horses to have a kick up to 
relieve his monotony, if so we never knew it. 

My hand was being held by Mr. Bolckow while 
watching the horses and, as everything was work- 
ing smoothly, we ventured quite near to the obe- 
dient animals, when an extra blare from a trumpet 
combined with an extra big boom from the drum 
caused one of the leaders to rear up and very near- 
ly fall back on top of us. In our hasty retreat I 
fell down, embedded my knees in the gravel and 
dirtied my best frock. 

Mrs. Bolckow, who had come to look for us, 
turned round a corner at this moment and, seeing 
her husband picking gravel from my knees and 
dusting me down, exclaimed, ''Oh! my dear, what 
'ave you done." "Nufing," he replied angrily; "I 
'aven't done nufing." 

But I must hark back to the Prince who seemed 
greatly relieved when his speech was ofif his mind. 

There was a ball in the evening at which I am 
told the Prince danced and seemed to enjoy him- 
self. Rather a pretty Miss Branwell was staying 
with my people and went to the ball with them; 
she was chosen by the Prince to be one of his part- 
ners, which pleased her. Next day I heard her 
talking about this honour and gathered she thought 
the Prince very charming but that his dancing did 
not live up to the rest of him. 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 175 

It was then the fashion to dance the "deux- 
temps" fast and furiously, it consisted of turning 
round very often and very fast, followed by con- 
siderable breathlessness. 

After the Prince's departure, Mr. Bolckow was 
offered a knighthood, but with grateful thanks de- 
clined it. I heard a small rude boy say "he had no 
use for it." 

A great picture expert had carte blanche to fill 
the house with all the best pictures money could 
procure. They were not chosen with a view to the 
house, so the home had to be altered for the pic- 
tures. 

A special wide white marble staircase was built 
with a good head light, under which on a landing 
half-way up the stairs stood Landseer's "Monarch 
of the Glen," for which 6900 guineas was paid. 
I am writing from memory and it may not have 
been that particular picture, though I think it was. 
I clearly remember, however, a noble stag standing 
listening, painted by Landseer — half-way up the 
white marble stairs ; the effect from the bottom was 
grand. 

The owner of all these luxuries was a kind- 
hearted charitable man, but in many ways careful 
of his pennies. I had luncheon with him and his 
wife in Prince's Gate shortly before he died. It was 
rather pitiful to see a millionaire sitting at a table 
laden with gold plate, delicate viands, beautiful 
fruits, sweets, and flowers. He was unable to en- 
joy any of the good things; a small fried whiting 



176 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

by the doctor's orders came in on a special dish for 
him, which he ate listlessly. He left an enormous 
fortune, but having no children it was most of it 
settled on his nephew, another Bolckow, but the 
terms and wording of the will were such as very 
nearly to ruin the unfortunate man. As far as I 
can remember a certain portion of income had to be 
set apart and a certain sum spent yearly on buying 
land. 

His widow was left with the house in Prince's 
Gate and what most people would consider a com- 
fortable fortune. 

Latterly she had so entirely lost her nerve that 
she dare not drive in her own carriage, but fre- 
quented the homely and, as she thought, safer 
penny bus. 

Some of Mr. Bolckow's expressions were amus- 
ing. Once at breakfast, when he thought I was 
not eating enough, he said, "Oh, do allow me to 
press an egg upon you." 

He was a tactful host. One night w^hen all the 
big-wigs, who always flutter round those who have 
acquired great wealth, had been invited to dine 
before a General Election that was in the offing, 
two big local landlords became so quarrelsome that 
most of those at the table held their breath wonder- 
ing who would come to blows first, when, with some 
dignity, the little round-about, grey-haired, square- 
bearded host stood up and said, "I tink, gentlemen, 
if you 'ave had enuf vine ve vill adjourn dis meet- 
ing and join de ladies." 



CHAPTER IX 

Some of the Author's Loves — Old Joseph and his Ewe- 
Lamb — Homeless Reuben Stride — Kis temperament and 
Philosophy — Brusher Mills, the Snake Charmer — His 
Home-made Abode — A Temple of Romance — A Store- 
house of Treasures — A Lovish Baptist Minister — His 
Love Letter — Author's Vanity receives a Rude Shock — 
Her Successor. 

I HAVE had a number of loves in my life, 
which sounds indiscreet and exciting. Many 
of them have been amongst the poor, the very 
poor. Their patience, faith, pessimism and fru- 
gality of their lives have often appealed strongly 
to me. Having written of so many friends in the 
social world, I would like to introduce one or two 
in other walks of life who have interested me. 

Old Joseph was one of my loves ; he was a farm 
labourer living in one of our cottages. His un- 
selfishness, faith and goodness taught me many les- 
sons. He had lost both his wife and only son, all 
that was left to him was a little daughter barely 
seventeen, his ewe-lamb and housekeeper, and the 
same dread disease was going to carry her away. 
His one thought was to give her everything she 
wanted and to do all the work to save her strength 
from being taxed. Before going to his daily labour 
in the morning he washed the floor, cooked some 

177 



178 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

potatoes ready for his daughter's dinner and his 
supper in the evening, besides numerous other small 
household duties. 

I added my little endeavours, but we could not 
save her. 

Joseph was rather peculiar and, when his neigh- 
bours offered to help him, he said that he did not 
"warnt any of them messing about his place." I 
sympathised in a measure, for he kept it beautifully 
clean, which is more than some of his neighbours 
would have done. Both he and his daughter set 
their faces strongly against a nurse. Here again 
I sympathised, knowing from experience what 
trouble they give in a house. In cottages I have 
seen them intolerable, tearing up the meagre stock 
of night-dresses, throwing things about and leav- 
ing everything dirty and in confusion. 

So between us, old Joseph and I, we nursed the 
girl. 

One day, when I had been some time by the bed- 
side, I saw that the end was near, so when the old 
man came in at night I crept out, thinking he would 
like to be alone with his bairn. It is seldom there 
is any intermediate stage with the poor between 
living and dying, either they are well and live, or 
are ill and die ; they cannot afford to indulge in any 
between stages. I could not rest that night and, 
when all the household had gone to bed, I sat by 
the open French windows leading on to a terrace, 
the moon looking coldly at me. I was thinking of 
things as they are and as they might be, and ask- 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 179 

ing for comfort for old Joseph, when I heard foot- 
steps coming up the gravel and on to the terrace. 
Joseph was staggering towards me as if his legs 
would hardly carry him. I was in the presence of 
desperate grief. Words would have seemed sac- 
rilege. He came towards me shuffling his feet as 
though he did not see where he was going, and 
stood in front of me twiddling the blind cord, a 
picture of despair. 

Bare-headed, his hair ruffled and untidy, his toil- 
bent back more humped than ever, his pathetic blue 
eyes filled with unshed tears that forbade him 
speaking, tears the more painful that they would 
fall back upon his heart unshed. Just for a moment 
the moon in pity hid her face, still he did not speak, 
so I put my hand on his and said, "I know, Joseph." 
That broke the spell, in a low husky voice he said, 
"S'cuse me, marm" — a pause, while he tried to 
moisten his dry lips, then with a burst of agony he 
almost screamed, "She's garn. Oh — oh — she's 
garn." In the silence of the night with no light 
save the moon it sounded like a voice from another 
world, where, maybe, souls are in torture. Then 
with another heartrending cry he threw out his 
arms towards the moon with uplifted face, ''She's 
garn, my wee bit lassie" ; then turned and stumbled 
away holding his head between his hands. 

At first I thought it might be kind to leave him 
alone, then, remembering he had sought me in his 
sorrow, I gathered some flowers from the conserv- 
atory and followed him. 



i8o FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

He was lying face down on the sofa in the kitch- 
en of his cottage. As he did not move or speak, I 
went up to the sick room, thinking I would move 
some of the dear accustomed things it is such an 
agony to see when the owner wants them no more, 
and put them away for a while. I then made the 
bed straight and arranged all as it should be, laid 
some flowers in her hands and around her pretty 
fair hair on the pillow. Then, pouring out some 
brandy and water from a bottle we had been using 
for the invalid, took it to Joseph on the sofa and 
made him drink it. 

I then led him upstairs; neither of us spoke. 
When he entered the room and found the pain- 
tossed pillows smooth, the now beautiful little face 
surrounded with a halo of tidy hair and flowers, all 
looking peaceful and comfortable, a great sigh of 
relief escaped him and he wrung the perspiration 
from his brow and flung it to the ground. I pulled 
him down beside me and sang softly the hymn that 
comes back to us all some time in our lives. 

"My God, my Father, while I stray, 
Far from my home on Hfe's rough way, 
Teach me from my heart to say, 
Thy will be done." 

When I came to the verse, 

"If thou shouldst call me to resign, 
What most I prize, it ne'er was mine, 
I only yield thee what is thine. 
Thy will be done." 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS i8i 

my friend, now shaken with sobs, put out one 
trembhng hand and stroked the soft fluffy hair, 
murmuring, ''Aie — aie " and I left him. 

That night seemed more beautiful than any I 
had known before, and I rested by a gate seized 
with the everlasting wonder, "Why?" Why must 
pain, ugliness and sorrow walk ever hand in hand 
with joy, life and such a beautiful world? The dew 
was heavy and drove me home trying to find com- 
fort in the thought "there can be no morning with- 
out a night." 

Not long after this an accident laid me low. 
Every night as Joseph left work he came to ask for 
me, and enquire if I would give him the happiness 
of doing something for me. Most mornings he 
brought a fresh egg laid by his own fowls, a trout, 
some offering, and one day the first rose from off a 
little tree he and I had planted on the grave of the 
"wee bit lassie." 

Later again, when the Reaper with the sickle 
visited my home, Joseph would allow no one to 
touch the grave but himself, and he spent some of 
his poor little savings on wire hairpins and other 
things wherewith to make the resting-place a bower 
of flowers and moss. He wished me to find the 
comfort he had experienced when he saw every- 
thing cared for in his bairn's room. This he ex- 
plained to me in rough though tender words. 

And now Joseph is no more, and there are no 
little Josephs left. I wish there were, with his 
heart of gold. He was one of my loves. 



i82 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

Another love, though a less intimate one, was 
Reuben Stride, whom I called the nineteenth-cen- 
tury philosopher. He was a well-known figure 
in the New Forest, and was, I am sorry to say, 
run over by a motor-car about a couple of years 
ago and killed, — at least he died as a result of the 
accident. 

In this mind-our-own-business world how little 
we know of the many tragedies and dramas being 
enacted all around us, under our very noses. We 
hear of people who, by accident or disease, are 
bed-ridden for thirty or forty years; it is no un- 
common occurrence. But it is surprising to find 
in England, close to our doors as it were, a man 
hale and hearty over seventy years old, who has 
not slept in a bed for more than fifty years, yet 
such was the case with Reuben Stride. There is 
something grand and pathetic in his fine old face. 
Look at it. Every line tells a tale of endurance, 
storms weathered, struggles of mind as well as 
body, and maybe faith, hope and charity. 

Surely with a head like that there must have 
been brains above the average, a kind heart with 
that benevolent nose, eyes looking at nothing but 
seeing much, hidden under that rugged moustache 
and beard a determined mouth and chin, the 
whole reminding one of a splendid rock standing 
out at sea all alone; mellowed and rounded by 
time and many tides. 

You will ask how comes it this interesting study 
found no pillow for his head during all these long 




Reuben Stride, a Nincteentla-Century Philosopher 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 183 

years? He would like to have told you himself, 
but as he cannot I will. 

That determined hidden-away mouth and chin 
had something to do with it, for he could brook 
no restraint, rules or regulations. When seven- 
teen he entered the Navy. After serving eighteen 
months he could stand it no longer, and came to 
the conclusion the life did not suit him. The strict 
discipline did not appeal to him, and he saw that 
if he remained there it would only mean trouble 
and ructions, so he deserted. For some time he 
evaded capture, hiding here and there, always in 
fear of being traced, until one day it actually hap- 
pened, and he was taken back a captive to be 
rigorously "broken in." In spite of all punish- 
ments he absolutely refused to obey any orders, 
and at last the authorities were thankful to get 
rid of him. 

In recounting his experiences the old man used 
to say, "I tole 'em they could kill me, but I wouldn't 
do it." So he was discharged with what it was 
hoped he would consider "ignomy." 

Being one of Nature's roamers, Reuben could not 
live by rule ; his wants were few and simple, but he 
must be in the open air and free to roam at will- 
amongst all the things he loved, things that count 
for so little to many but were great to this philos- 
opher. The sun, moon, stars, birds and beasts all 
loved companions, filling his heart with peace and 
content, leaving no room for fractiousness. 

After his discharge he wandered about Berkshire 



i84 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

and Wiltshire working here and there as a labourer. 
Then for some years he was employed as a carter 
in one situation in the New Forest, a life much more 
suited to his temperament. During the last fifteen 
or sixteen years he found employment as a cattle- 
driver, which most people consider a trying heart- 
breaking task, for the poor beasts get so frightened 
and distracted they do not know what they are 
doing and have a cussed way of invariably going 
in the wrong direction. 

This work, with occasional assistance from kind- 
hearted people in the New Forest, where he was a 
familiar figure, enabled him to subsist. 

When asked why he seemed so wobbly on his 
feet when standing up after resting, he would ex- 
plain that he "lost both his great toes an' some o' 
t'others through frost bite." 

There is something fine in the marvellous 
patience of the poor, and the religious pessimism 
which has come to them from father to son through 
countless years since the dawn of time and history. 

When individualism is strong it goes in search of 
truth and is at war with convention, leaving us all 
in different premises, philosophers or vagabonds. 

When I asked Reuben if it were really true that he 
had not slept in a bed for fifty years, and if so why 
the police had not interfered, he replied, "Oh yes, 
that's all right enough. I've slep' out more 'an 
fifty years, and allers kep' myself clean and decent. 
P'leece ! They dont take no note o' me, they know 
I ain't no biding place, nobody meddles o' me. I 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 185 

never carries no lucifers yer know, an' if the p'leece 
wants to take me I sh'd say, *Yo jess go to so-and- 
so/ wherever I was sleeping, an' they'd say, 'oh, 
he's all right, let un bide, don't you meddle along 
o' he.' " 

When friends offered him a bed he declined, 
custom had heightened the spell of his quaint rest- 
ing-places, he was happier under the stars or among 
the straw. 

His face spoke of hard times but a placid resigna- 
tion, that birthright of the unambitious. He argued 
to himself philosophically that he would rather have 
frost-bitten toes of his own choosing, than those 
ordained for him by other people. There he has my 
sympathy. 

Some people said he was mad, but he was far 
from it. I have observed a tendency amongst the 
common crowd to consider as mad everybody they 
do not understand. 

I was a great admirer of old Reuben, and am 
contemplating putting up over his grave: 

'To the Memory of a dear old 19th Century 
Philosopher. 

"To sleep and take my rest, 
The old sea at my door, 
The grey hills there in the west, 
What can a man want more ?" 

The New Forest teems with people, places and 
things of interest. I have heaps of loves there. 
The little ponies, children of adversity, about whom 



i86 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

I could write for a week without stopping and be 
happy all the time; the gypsies, about whom there 
is so much that is intensely interesting that I have 
never seen in print, and of whom I have the most 
beautiful and uncommon photographs. In fact the 
New Forest is one of the earth's storehouses. In 
it one gets very near the "Peace that passeth 
understanding." The glorious old trees with arms 
spread out and joining over our heads in benedic- 
tion, the bracken waving and whispering at our 
feet. 

The Greeks consecrated each favourite wood and 
grove to some Divinity. Wise old Greeks ! During 
New Forest rambles many other intimate friend- 
ships are formed as well as with the ponies. There 
is something about the Forest that makes one 
moralise. Perhaps it is the dear beautiful trees, 
companions that never fail us. Nature loves them 
as much as I do, and deals so gently with them in 
their old age, covering up all their infirmities, 
draping them with moss and lichen, twining round 
them ivy, clematis and woodbine for support in 
their old age, in return for the help extended to 
them in their youth by their life-long friends the 
trees. 

Another of my New Forest loves was "Brusher 
Mills," the snake-charmer. The name bestowed on 
him by his parents and godparents was "Harry" 
Mills, but he was better known as "Brusher Mills." 
We often hear of snake charmers in the east, but 
not often in the west. Strictly speaking he was 




Brusher Mills of the New Forest 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 187 

no charmer, but found it convenient so to describe 
himself, as he had to make his living somehow, and 
the reptiles had an attraction for him. It does not 
sound as though it would be a very lucrative calling, 
but when that stern mother, Necessity, puts her foot 
down, and we are thrown upon our own resources, 
it is w^onderful what we can do. 

Snake catching or "charming," as Mills would 
call it, as a means of making a living, would not 
appeal to everybody, but he was an expert and had 
acquired that familiarity that is supposed to breed 
contempt. He had no fear of any snake. 

There is something weird and yet fascinating in 
the idea of living all alone day and night for nine- 
teen years in the midst of that Temple of Romance, 
the New Forest, in a home-made hut, composed of 
branches and stems of trees arranged in conical 
form assisted with peat to keep out the wind and 
rain, his closest companions the English snakes, 
with whose whims and abodes he was so well ac- 
quainted, yet in this hut and all alone Mills lived 
for nineteen years. 

The first thing that occurred to the mind of those 
interested in this strange old man was what he did 
with the snakes and how he caught them. He made 
no secret of the fact that, at one time, he made a 
small income by supplying the Zoo with snakes to 
satisfy the appetites of some of the inhabitants. 
Latterly he gained a precarious living by displaying 
his snake-charming gifts to tourists and trippers. 

He did a fair trade by describing to those really 



i88 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

interested the difference between, and peculiarities 
of, the three English snakes. He was usually well 
rewarded. He also made and sold wonderful con- 
coctions procured by boiling down adders and 
securing the fat to act as antitoxin for snake bites, 
cure rheumatism, and other maladies, loudly prais- 
ing their virtues. Heaven alone knows what the 
poor souls who bought the mixture did with them, 
whether they drank some in their tea or mixed it 
in poultices, or used it as a cure for housemaid's 
knee; there seemed to be no end to its possibilities. 

When starting out to catch snakes he wore no 
gloves or protection of any kind for his hands. His 
hunting kit, indeed his only kit, everyday and Sun- 
day alike, consisted of a greatcoat or two, given to 
him by admirers and friends. They were usually 
worn one on top of the other, and had capacious 
pockets added by himself. He wore big thick laced- 
boots SUV mounted by the most wonderful thing in 
gaiters, made regardless of pattern or shape, which 
arranged themselves in concertina-like crinks and 
folds around his legs till they reached his knees, 
where they were welcomed by still more concertina- 
like trouser knees. My own impression is he made 
them both himself, got into them somehow, leaving 
time and chance to do the rest. 

A felt hat that may once have been black and 
beautiful completed this toilet, but it was no longer 
black, rather a picturesque purple, green and grey, 
souvenirs from wind, sun and rain. That was all, 
except a many-hued handkerchief tied around his 




m 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 189 

neck. Doubtless there were nether garments of 
sorts, but if one might judge by the display on 
washing day, when they were hung up to dry, his 
wardrobe was not extensive. 

The paraphernalia of his craft was simple in the 
extreme, consisting of a long forked stick to arrest 
the snakes, a pair of long tongs with which to pick 
them up and a tall, rather narrow can or pail to 
place them in. This he carried by a handle. 

How the snakes were killed I cannot say for 
certain, as Mills was not communicative as to his 
methods, which, however, I gathered were crude. 
He was clever in the way he caught hold of the 
reptiles, pouncing on them and catching them with 
his tongs just behind his head. The forcible applica- 
tion of the tongs obliged their mouths to be kept 
open, which prevented them doing any harm until 
he had manipulated their poisonous organ. 

Moles were at times added to his bag, and as their 
skins sell well he probably found them lucrative. 
During his sojourn in the Forest he accounted for 
an enormous number of snakes and moles. 

He was an interesting old man, and remained 
unmarried, preferring to live in the peaceful sur- 
roundings he knew to the possibly less peaceful life 
of matrimony. Maybe he was wise, for it is not 
every woman who would feel content and happy in 
such a rustic homestead, surrounded by snakes in 
various stages, some painfully alive and frisky, 
others dying in uncanny wriggles and coils, others 



I90 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

dead, awaiting transit or to be turned into "heal- 
alls." 

The old man's speech always left a little to the 
imagination, whether from living alone so many- 
years, or from having no roof to his mouth, it is 
difficult to say, but it was not easy to understand 
him. Perhaps it was as well, for those who knew 
and understood him best said that when man or 
snake exasperated him his vocabulary was exten- 
sive and profound, in fact quite prehistoric. 

He died suddenly on July ist, 1905, from heart 
disease. In Brockenhurst churchyard is a carved 
marble tombstone to the memory of Brusher Mills. 
It was erected by the public. The carving on the 
stone is beautiful, representing Mills standing by 
his self-made hut, with snakes in his hand, pre- 
sumably ready for his stock-pot. The workmanship 
is masterly and delicate. I like to think these loves 
of mine, Reuben Stride and Brusher Mills, are rest- 
ing amidst the surroundings they loved so well. 

I should like to write a great deal about the 
English snakes. Many people know nothing of 
them or their habits, but this is not the place for me 
to do it, and I might bore my readers. 

Another love of mine, one whom I did not love, 
but who took it into his head that he loved me, was 
a Welsh Baptist minister. The whole affair was 
very funny. We were renting a house in Wales 
for shooting and fishing. While I was scrambling 
about gathering wild flowers on the property, this 
minister came down a lane close to me. He had 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 191 



been visiting one of the farms. He stood and 
stared at me rather rudely I thought, so I walked 
away. 

He then took the opportunity to hang about the 
place, which annoyed me very much, but I could 
say nothing as he found it convenient to try and 
make the old gardener and his wife Baptists, and 
what is more succeeded, and the silly old gardener, 
who had been twenty-eight years on the place, sub- 
mitted to being baptised in a neighbouring pond, 
receiving a chill from which before long he died. 

In consequence of his (the Baptist's) attention 
to his new converts who lived at the lodge, I seldom 
could go in that direction without meeting him and 
having to listen to his nonsense. He then took to 
writing me impassioned letters full of my grace, 
charm, etc., and he was going to write a book all 
about me, in fact al! sorts of wonderful things. At 
last he became so annoying I put the matter into a 
local solicitor's hands, and that made an end to it. 

His letters, partly through being in English, out 
of compliment to me, which was a language of 
which he knew little, being very Welsh, and partly 
through his being very uneducated, were worthy of 
PujicJi. Once he wished to tell me he had waded 
through a field of wet potatoes to catch a glimpse 
of me. This was the way he expressed it, having 
evidently sought the aid of a dictionary. 

"Beautiful lady. My harte been soar in me be- 
cause I have not seen you late. I spend a wet 
afternoon in among the wet potato boughs near 



192 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

the beds of the dogs hopping for a site of the 
gracious lady and her smile. Oh, come sweet lady 
were I do see you. I eat not, I sleep not for the 
fretting of you. Send to me i. kine word to save 
your humble servant and slave, or I may do a 
mischief and God will forgive you not." 

I thought the potato boughs rather nice. He 
had evidently searched for a suitable word to de- 
scribe the wet potato tops, and had found boughs 
or branches. The dogs' beds referred to were the 
kennels. 

My vanity received a rude shock soon after the 
despatch of the solicitor's letter by the lover marry- 
ing an old woman who had lived in the village who 
weighed a good twenty stone. She had saved a 
little money and shared her kitchen with a fat pig, 
an emaciated cow and some fowls ! 

My other lovers have been more every-dayish, 
and therefore of no interest to anybody but myself. 



CHAPTER X 

From My Sketch Book — Some Brilliant Conversationalists 
— Hostesses and Fascinating Women — Curious Pro- 
ceedings During a Divorce Case — Sir Eyre Shaw 
Decollete — Peculiarities of the Late Duchess of Cleve- 
land — An Historic House in Grafton Street — Mr. A. J. 
Balfour Reviews Himself as Undergraduate and Prime 
Minister — He Does not Love the Crowd — Colonel Burn, 
King's Messenger — His Farewell Bouquet — Major 
Slade's Many Fiancees — The Maharajah of Cooch Be- 
har — As Sportsman, Ruler, and Ladies' Man — A Sikh 
Gentleman's Disgust — Sir Charles Monro's Views of 
What is Good for India — The Prime Minister of Rewar 
Wants Something but does not get it — Prince Bismarck 
and the Author — A Curious Introduction. 

TURNING over the pages in the sketch-book 
of my life, I find the studies in it very- 
varied and of unequal value, all mingled 
and jostling one another. Some of the pages are 
very crowded. I have been trying to recall what I 
liked best about each of the figures that attracted 
me most. Some I find have only interested me after 
losing sight of them, after turning over another 
page, then the interest lay in thinking of them in the 
chrysalis stage, and trying to remember if I had 
imagined any of the colours that appeared when 
they became gorgeous butterflies. 

Amongst the crowd passing panorama fashion 

193 



194 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

before my mind, I find the greatest conversation- 
alists have been undoubtedly Oscar Wilde and 
Charles Parnell, though on entirely different lines. 

Oscar Wilde's choice of language and his gentle 
voice were to me much more poetic than those of 
the poet laureate of his time. Mr. Wilde's writing 
and his poetry were all real, full of feeling and 
beautifully expressed thought. Who can read his 
De Profundis, written in prison, without being 
moved? Much of it is possibly exaggerated in 
expression, but then he was exaggerated in feeling, 
and it flowed from the pen of a man in anguish, who 
was unable to live without a theatrical setting, with- 
out posing even in his own mind and for his own 
benefit. 

I remember him in the heyday of his popularity, 
when women crowded round him to write in their 
birthday books, hostesses adding to their notes and 
cards of invitation one of the two inducements of 
that hour, either "P.B." or "O.W.," the former 
giving us to understand some professional beauties 
would be present for us to feast our eyes on, and the 
latter that Oscar Wilde would be there to talk high 
art with us. 

When he first appeared in society and invented 
the "Howell and James Young Man" movement, 
he was prodigiously laughed at, but made much of 
all the same. His hair was long when first I beheld 
him, and he strolled up and down Piccadilly in a 
soft wide-awake hat a little on one side, an Irving- 
like velveteen cloak worn carelessly and always 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 195 

open to show a daffodil or single yellow flower 
standing high-artishly in his buttonhole, almost in- 
variably on a long stalk and on one side — posing. 

He went to America to preach his ^stheticism, 
then returned to London and recast his high-brow- 
ism, colour schemes and dado ideas, becoming a 
Piccadilly darling, dressed in the height of fashion, 
short hair wonderfully arranged, and his ties quite 
peculiar to himself. 

He was a man of moods, one day his conversa- 
tion, which was always brilliant, would be brilliantly 
sad, another day cryptic sayings and epigrams 
chased each other from his tongue. No matter 
what subject was started, he could always pick it 
up and toss it back with an original note or two 
attached. 

He did not mind being laughed at; I think he 
rather liked it, joining in the merriment at his own 
expense. 

His evening dress was peculiar. I was never 
sure whether or no his low-cut waistcoat, fastening 
with three buttons on one side, was cut all in one 
with the funny sort of black stock he wore without 
any visible beginning or end. This stock reposed 
beneath a turn-dow^n collar of the fashion adopted 
by women over the necks of their dresses. The 
cuffs of his shirt turned up over the sleeves of his 
coat. 

The evening buttonhole was always white, in con- 
trast to the yellow one worn in the daytime. He 
was not good-looking, his face was too heavy, his 



196 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

mouth was the least pleasant feature. He wore an 
enormous ring on the little finger of one hand, I 
forget which. In the distance it looked like the 
big splodgy seal on Government documents. This 
toilet was completed by a fob crowded with seals, 
looking like a child's rattle, the tout ensemble being 
a mixture of high art, dandyism and effeminacy. 

No one will deny that he was eccentric, a genius, 
and I think I may add a brilliant conversationalist. 
I often recall one of his very wise sayings, "We 
should be careful how we choose our enemxies." 

Charles Parnell was at his best on political sub- 
jects, and his sarcasm was entertaining; he could 
enlarge most feelingly on the sorrows of the poor 
that we have always with us, but his conversation 
was rather spoilt for me, by not being able to rid 
myself of the feeling that he was not quite sincere 
even to himself. 

Some people have been rude enough to state there 
never has been a woman who was a great conversa- 
tionalist. I do not agree with these critics. Lady 
Ermyntrude Malet, wife of our at one time Am- 
bassador in Berlin, was a conversationalist of no 
mean order, besides being a bright and tactful 
woman of considerable education and culture. 
There are people who consider themselves great 
conversationalists, forgetting monologue is not con- 
versation, in the same way that a crowd is not com- 
pany. 

That great religious reformer, the Apostle St. 
Paul, who was also a man of the world, full of 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 197 

courtesy and chivalry, as well as a diplomatist, says, 
"Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned 
with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer 
every man." Herein lies the art of conversation. 

Sir Edward Malet, who was a little man, charm- 
ing and dignified, was very popular with the Ger- 
man Imperial family. 

The most charming hostess I can remember is 
the present Lady Ripon,* whose parties were de- 
lightfully cosmopolitan. 

Exclusiveness is a thing of the past. People 
have become bored by it, finding themselves out in 
the cold, while Royalties and nitrate kings hobnob. 
Lady White, wife of the Ladysmith man, was an- 
other charming hostess; also Mrs. Oppenheim, her 
salons were famous. 

The most fascinating women I recall were Lady 
Colin Campbell and Madame Cassavetti, a Russian. 
I remember at Torquay one winter when the Cas- 
savettis were there, being quite startled in their 
front hall by an enormous black bear, standing on 
its hind legs holding a tray for visitors' cards. Sud- 
denly a brilliant yellow light appeared in the beast's 
eyes. I asked a girl near me if she saw anything 
peculiar about the bear's eyes, as I thought I might 
be suffering from delusion, but she had seen it be- 
fore and explained, "It is an electric light that the 
butler turned on from somewhere in the wall." 

Lady Colin Campbell, who had rejoiced in the 
maiden name of Blood, was a most fascinating 

* Died since writing this. 



198 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

woman and clever. Many loved her much. We 
were renting the house next to hers in Cadogan 
Place, when some learned bewigged people from 
the Law Courts arrived to find out for themselves 
how much they could see through certain keyholes, 
some doubt having been thrown upon the servants' 
evidence during the hearing of the divorce case. 
There was a little garden at the back of our house 
corresponding to another exactly like it belonging 
to the Campbells, and we were greatly amused 
watching one of the bewigged ones scaling the wall, 
while others looked on in admiration. There were 
some questions about whether some of the fourteen 
co-respondents had not entered the house by scaling 
this wall. 

Several friends of mine were implicated in this 
case, poor Sir Eyre Shaw for one, but he came off 
with flying colours and we were all glad, for he was 
extremely popular and deservedly so. He behaved 
like a man over this case, which some did not, and 
we all congratulated him. He was quite a lady's 
man, admired all pretty people and thoroughly en- 
joyed a flirtation, entering into the spirit of the 
thing with zest. He became quite good-looking and 
much smarter as he grew older. 

When first he was introduced to me I was much 
struck with his length of neck, which he did nothing 
to subdue, wearing very low turn down collars. I 
told him once he shocked me by being so decollete, 
and that I should send him a tulle tucker out of one 
of my ball dresses to wear round his neck. He 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 199 

declared he would wear it if I kept my promise. I 
was too good-natured to impose this ordeal on him. 

Lady Colin edited The Ladies' Field for some 
time, and died a martyr to rheumatism. 

The cleverest and most alarming woman of my 
acquaintance was the late Duchess of Cleveland. 
She was a great friend of Sir Tatten Sykes. While 
being desperately afraid of her, people would hover 
round, regardless of having their noses bitten off, 
in hopes of catching some of her witty sayings, and 
hearing other people snubbed. She was at Raby 
Castle once when I was there in the long-agos, and 
I was rather surprised to find there also a sprightly 
and pretty woman, who was a pet aversion of hers. 
There had been a row between them a short time 
before over a bazaar (for charity!). We were in 
the museum looking at the curious natural history 
specimens collected by the old Duchess of Darling- 
ton. James Lowther was with us saying amusing 
but disrespectful things about the specimens, when 
the sprightly lady joined us. James Lowther, who 
loved teasing people, said, "Hullo, Gipsy, you're 
looking very cheap; feeling bad?" "No," she re- 
plied, "how unkind of you, that is only a polite way 
of saying I am looking plain." With his boisterous 
laugh he turned to the Duchess, being unaware the 
relations were strained, and said, "I've seen her 
looking better, haven't you?" The Duchess' face 
froze into hard lines as she looked the little woman 
up and down, then said, "Only wants another coat 
of varnish, I think." 



200 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

Feeling most uncomfortable, I moved away, but 
not before I heard, "Another coat and a new wig 
wouldn't be amiss for your grace, but you should 
be well scraped first." Jim Lowther was delighted, 
and stood an amused spectator, while the ladies 
had their say. At times I have heard the Duchess 
exceedingly rude to people, at others, keep a whole 
room full of people electrified with her wit. She 
died in 1901. 

The Harcourt's house in Grafton Street was a 
sure find for interesting people, and Lady Harcourt 
was a homely and genial hostess. If the walls of 
that house could speak, they could tell us interest- 
ing stories of important state and political secrets, 
of clandestine meetings between beautiful women 
and gay young men, not to mention a few more 
mature couples. 

This was after the Harcourts had left the house 
and Madame Lili (Mrs. Pocklington) had moved 
into it from her shop in Oxford Street, where she 
had been so successful with her millinery business 
that larger premises had become necessary. 

A great number of the "rank and fashion" went 
to her for their hats and bonnets. The rooms were 
large, and lovers found they could converse there 
in safety between the tryings on of head-gear. One 
or two forbidden little aflfairs matured there quite 
nicely. 

Mrs. Pocklington, who was a very charming and 
smart woman, died quite early in life, and at a time 
when she was doing a big business. I have been 




Sir William Hurcourt in His Young Days 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 201 

there when the carriages were standing outside her 
door almost as if a reception was taking place. 

I could never understand why, when her affairs 
were wound up, there was so little money. Possibly 
though brimful of taste, she had no business capac- 
ity, in which case all her taste and hard work would 
avail her nothing. She was one of the first of the 
lady milliners before the epidemic set in. 

For many years Mr. A. J. Balfour was amongst 
the most popular men in England, — partly, no 
doubt, because he was a statesman (we have had 
so few of late years), that we all leant on him, and 
partly on account of his charm of manner when 
wishing to be agreeable. His powers of being able 
to convince people against their better judgment 
has been quite unique, but few have been so re- 
spected. 

At the time he was Chief Secretary for Ireland 
he stayed a great deal with some of my people. 
Special rooms were reserved for him as his own 
special property, where he could leave his things 
and come back and find them ready for use. He 
said rather an interesting thing one day, namely, 
that he considered himself to have been in every 
way as competent in the intellectual sphere when 
he was an undergraduate as when he was after- 
wards Prime Minister. The public loved him better 
than he loved the public, and he had a naughty 
habit when people came on purpose to see him of 
retiring to his rooms and refusing to be drawn. 

Many will remember the time during the South 



202 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

African War when Mr. Balfour was asked some 
questions as to what was taking place out there, 
and for which we were all paying. His reply was 
that he knew "no more than the man in the street." 
This was when it was his business to know, — at 
least, so we all thought. I do not think he has held 
our faith in quite the same way since. We all know 
he professes never to read the papers, and this is not 
a pose, it is true. He never does read a paper, and 
attends to his correspondence and business in bed 
before he gets up in the morning. He does not care 
to appear before midday if he can help it, finding, 
as I do, the early morning hours are the best for 
work. Under the shadow of the Coalition Govern- 
ment he has lost more of the faith of some people, 
judging from all I hear. 

Socially, perhaps. Captain Charles Burn, the 
King's Messenger and member for Torquay, is one 
of the most popular men of my acquaintance. He 
is very good-looking and well-mannered, ready to 
do a good turn for anybody at a moment's notice. 
He married the daughter of Lord Leith of Fyvie, 
the latter's only child. 

In Cairo during the Egyptian Campaign, we went 
in a crowd to see Captain Burn off to the front. 
Gerry Portal called out as the train left the station, 
"Good-bye, Charlie, may your beauty never be 
less," and we thrust a farewell bouquet through 
the carriage window, consisting of carrots with 
their bonny green hair tied up with bonny blue rib- 




Sir William Ilarcourt as a "Retired Leader' 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 203 

bons, a few trailing ferns after the character of 
asparagus sprengeri added grace to the posy. 

The best dancers I have known were Captain 
Harry Lees, of the 3rd Dragoon Guards, who died 
while larking with his favourite charger in the 
Phoenix Park in Ireland, and Major Slade, of the 
loth Hussars, a beautiful dancer, who was killed 
in Egypt, and mourned by a number of young ladies 
and a widow or two, who said they were engaged 
to him. About thirteen put on deep mourning. 

I must not forget the Rajah of Cooch Behar, 
who danced, as he did many other things, exceed- 
ingly well. He was one of the most English of the 
Rajahs that I have met, and the only one that I 
have seen who did not look amiss in English mufti. 
He became an hon. lieutenant-colonel in the British 
army, and hon. A.D.C. to the King Emperor when 
Prince of Wales. I have danced with him in India, 
Paris and London. His education was completed 
in England, and he became very English. On his 
return to his own country he was full of ideals for 
the benefit of his state and people, but this country 
held such attraction for him that he could not keep 
away for long, and this led to discontent amongst 
his subjects in India. Cooch Behar is small, but 
has a population of about six hundred thousand, 
spread over thirteen hundred square miles. The 
Rajah's family has reigned there as chiefs for four 
hundred years. 

The Maharajah married in 1878. I liked the 
Ranee very much. When first I knew her she was 



204 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

very shy, but now has an assured and engaging 
manner. She is well-known and much liked in 
England. Her late husband w^as a Hindu. At one 
time to cross the "Kala Pani," or Black Water, 
would have been considered a pollution to a high 
caste man, but all that is in the past. Rules and 
observances of caste are no longer considered of the 
same consequence that they were even when I first 
went to India. It is not now necessary to pay large 
sums or go through all sorts of revolting ceremo- 
nies to be received again amongst the chosen or for 
ever be an outcast after diverging from the caste 
laws. 

Chandra Sen came across the "Black Water," 
and did not seem in much fear of either his people 
or his Deity, and he allowed his granddaughter 
when only twelve and a bit, to marry the Mahara- 
jah of Cooch Behar, who was only fifteen himself 
at the time. 

The moment the Rajah became a big man in 
London he dwindled down to a small man in Cooch 
Behar. That is the trouble with native noblemen 
who become Anglicised, who dance, drink cham- 
pagne, and play games. 

Once on the racecourse at Calcutta, when all the 
"Sahib log" were applauding the late Maharajah 
of Patiala for winning a race at a big meeting, an 
old Sikh gentleman looking on said in tones of dis- 
gust that the times were bad indeed when the great 
chieftain of the Sikhs aimed only at being a clever 
"Chabuk sowar" (jockey). 





The Alaharajuh of Coich Bel 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 205 

This feeling should be borne in mind at the pres- 
ent moment when we have a Secretary of State for 
India going out to stir up the most Conservative 
spot on earth with a barge pole. 

All sorts of nostrums are afloat, of which prob- 
ably the most preposterous is that fathered by the 
present Commander-in-Chief in India, Sir Charles 
Monro, that young Indian gentleman aspiring to 
commissions in the Army should be educated in 
England, at Woolwich and Sandhurst, apparently 
being oblivious of the fact that under those circum- 
stances they will lose all influence over their men, 
who had much rather be commanded by a Britisher 
than by a renegade. 

In precise degree as Cooch Behar became Angli- 
cised so did he lose all influence with his own people. 
At the end of his career any young British official 
carried more weight with the people of Cooch Behar 
than did their own Rajah, or his wife, Sumati 
Dwee. 

The Rajah was a well-built man and looked very 
sweet in a pink dressing-gown going down the 
gangway of a P. and O. liner en route for his tub. 
The only other person I can remember who looked 
quite so beautiful was Sir Lepel Grifin, the political, 
who chose the time for his bath when the rest of us 
were having luncheon, strolling down the saloon in 
the most lovely things in pajamas embroidered with 
coats of arms and other attractive decorations, 
carrying a huge sponge and a bath towel of great 
size emblazoned with his monogram arranged so 



2o6 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

that we might admire them all. He was very good- 
looking at the time of which I am writing, and he 
knew it. He had wondrous curly hair. The more 
it was wet, the tighter it curled, apparently. 

The Rajah was a first-rate sportsman, and his 
annual shoots in India were considered one of the 
events of the year. He was an especially fine shot 
with both gun and rifle, and had a sunny dispo- 
sition. It took him a long time to get spoilt by the 
fine ladies of title who so far forgot themselves as 
to curtsey to him in public and "carry on" with 
him in private when they got the chance. Never 
shall I forget my surprise the first time I saw an 
hysterical English Countess bobbing to him. I 
thought he also was a little surprised, but it is part 
of a native gentleman's creed never to appear sur- 
prised at anything. The bear-leader even begged 
these ladies to restrain themselves, while the Anglo- 
Indians nearly fainted. 

After some seasons in London, with Royal 
Ascots and many presents to kind friends, the reve- 
nue of Behar estate gave out, and when the great 
man returned to Bombay and found it was not open 
to him to dine at the Yacht Club the shock was 
terribly severe, in fact too severe. 

He gave me a sweet little etching done by himself 
of an Indian scene mounted in a wonderfully carved 
frame, but one year when I let my house it dis- 
appeared, and I was sorry. 

His eldest son inherited the love for England and 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 207 

was a keen cricketer, but he also spent too much 
money and got into hot water in consequence. 

Thinking of native caste, religions, and preju- 
dices reminds me of when Captain Vigne, of the 
97th Regiment, was staying at an hotel in India 
en route for Simla, and there came to the same hotel 
a big native gentleman with whom he entered into 
conversation, asking him how he managed about 
his food, receiving the reply, 'T can eat as you do." 

"But are you not a high caste?" 

'T am a Brahmin of the very highest caste, but 
you see I am sufficiently rich to have no prejudices." 

This sounded remarkable in those days. The 
gentleman was the Prime Minister of Rewar. 
Asked what his mission was to his Excellency the 
Governor, he replied that his master did not con- 
sider that the promises made him by Lord Canning 
had been sufficiently carried out. 

Captain Vigne pointed out all the benefits he had 
received, asking what more could possibly be ex- 
pected. 

P.M. "Well, there is something!" 

Capt. V. "What is it?" 

P.M. "Oh ! er ! it is a little something." 

Capt. V. "Well out with it." 

P.M. "Is there not a little thing they call the 
Garter?" 

Capt. V. "If that is what you want I think you 
had better go home again ; it is useless, quite hope- 
less." 



2o8 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

P.M. "What would your commission be if you 
could get it, lo lakhs?" 

Capt. V. "How would it be to ask for a peer- 
age?" 

P.M. "But how could his Royal Highness the 
descendant of kings when the English still painted 
their bodies accept such a thing!" 

I think the man who surprised me more than 
anybody else I ever met was Prince Bismarck, at 
that time Chancellor of the German Empire. It 
was when Sir Edward Malet was Ambassador at 
Berlin. I had always pictured Bismarck as a hard, 
rather cruel, and disagreeable man, who would be 
able to speak nothing but German and be disliked 
by all in his own country save the Emperor. 

My surprise was therefore great when I found 
he could speak English well, though slowly, as if 
searching for the words he wanted. Greater joy 
still, we had something in common, for I discovered 
he loved all the dear purposeful creepy-crawlys of 
the earth, and had made a study of them. They 
were his companions as they are mine. I think 
anyone with no love for or intimate knowledge of 
the busy world round our feet must for ever travel 
alone. 

My world of creepy-crawlys embraces birds, 
butterflies, moths, dragonflies, etc., many of which 
are not really creepys at all. Prince Bismarck 
loved all nature, but especially the crawlys. He 
gave me a most interesting account of some spiders 
with yellow bodies that are of the warrior type and 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 209 

fight fierce battles. Once he put two on a bush to 
see them fight. Their tactics were full of subtlety 
and once, when Bismarck interfered, one of 
the spiders swelled out his body and tried to 
frighten him by making little rushes in his direc- 
tion and giving what he presumed were stamps 
•with its feet, after the fashion of rabbits when 
they wish to warn others of any danger. The 
Prince loved trees ; they spoke to him as they do to 
me. He loved beetles and spiders, so do I. We 
became so engrossed comparing notes that I forgot 
for a time I was engaging too much of his atten- 
tion to the exclusion of more important people 
waiting for a word with him. 

I met the great man only once again some years 
later when in Paris, having luncheon with the 
Rothschilds. We greeted one another with affec- 
tion born of our mutual loves. He was quite ex- 
cited at our meeting again, and wished to introduce 
a friend of his to whom he had often spoken of my 
love for animals and all the underworld and things 
of nature. A fierce-looking little German was in- 
troduced and out of compliment to me they spoke 
English. I will not attempt to copy their accents, 
but this was the introduction. "This is the lady of 
whom you have heard me speak who loves bugs as 
I do !" A little shiver ran down my back and I was 
almost frightened out of my best Sunday manners, 
but as nobody seemed surprised at my love for bugs 
I gradually recovered. 

Long after this I found that scientific men, when 



2IO FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

they cannot locate and name any particular mi- 
crobes, classify them under the sort of slang appel- 
lation of bugs, so I hope that after all it may have 
been understood in that sense and not that I loved 
the on-board-ship variety. 

Bismarck's face gave the impression of great 
determination, amounting possibly to obstinacy. 
His face was big and square, heavy eyebrows grew 
low over his eyes. His jaw was cruel and deter- 
mined, slightly contradicted by his chin. The gen- 
eral effect was one of squareness. It seemed 
strange to look at this powerful man, both mentally 
and physically, and think that his recreation, his 
pleasure, was amongst the mysteries wrapped round 
the little crowds of which we know so little, all full 
of earnest purpose, working untiringly, and pa- 
tiently through their little span of life. The amount 
of knowledge the Prince had acquired could only 
have come from close observation. Books give us 
so little information or insight into the lives that fill 
one with admiration, wonder and respect. I love 
all my little fellow travellers. 

Bismarck died in July, 1898. 



CHAPTER XI 

The Waterloo Ball — Lady Sophia Cecil Revisits Goodwood 
— Lady de Ros Buckles on the Duke of Wellington's 
Sword — Lady Sophia's Christmas Dinner — The "Poor 
Yellow Puppy!" — A Fishing Expedition — An Exciting 
Drive — Tea with the Minister — His Housekeeper is 
Piqued with him — A Struggle with a Salmon — Cawn- 
pore as it was — A Drive in a Bullock Cart — A Thieving 
Crow — Sir Owen Burne — Pained with the Duke of 
Cambridge — Some Appointments — Sir Owen's Den — 
His Difficulties with the Shah of Persia — Lord Shaftes- 
bury Scolding — A Contretemps between Bishop and 
Prize-fighters at Buckingham Palace. 

REVISITING one's old home after an ab- 
sence of some years is always a painful 
pleasure when some of the loved tenants 
have gone. Lady Sophia Cecil experienced this 
when, after a long absence, she happened to be 
staying near Bogner, and decided she would like to 
go over her old home at Goodwood and show it to 
her companion who was with her. 

It will be remembered Lady Sophia was the 
widow of Lord Thomas Cecil, and daughter of the 
Duchess of Richmond who gave the famous ball at 
Brussels on the eve of the battle of Waterloo. 

Not knowing on what days the public were al- 
lowed to view the place, she thought she would try 



212 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

and get in under any circumstances, so hired a cab 
and drove up very humbly. The housekeeper re- 
ceived them grumpily, saying, "You should come 
on the proper days if you want to see the place," 
but condescended to take them round, telling the 
visitors to "hurry up." 

On entering the drawing-room the housekeeper 
remarked, pointing to a picture, "That is a picture 
of the Duke and his wife, the host and hostess of 
the Waterloo Ball, alluded to by Byron in "Childe 
Harold" when there were "Sounds of revelry by 
night." Turning to her companion Lady Sophia 
said, "We never thought it a good likeness of my 
dear mother." The astonished housekeeper became 
servile at once, apologising for her curt manner. 
No notice was taken of this, but before proceeding 
to her cab Lady Sophia said, "You have showed me 
over my old home. I only hope you are more civil 
to the tourists who visit Goodwood than you have 
been to us. Good day." 

Lady Sophia and her sister, Georgie, Lady de 
Ros, never could agree as to the locality of the ball- 
room in Brussels, but Lady Sophia always said she 
was the most likely to be correct as her sister was 
older and too occupied with her partners to pay 
much attention or remember, while she was only 
a child looking on and taking notice of everything 
as children do. Lady de Ros had been a constant 
partner of the Duke of Wellington at the ball and 
had buckled on his sword when the officers ran 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 213 

away at full speed to Waterloo, Napoleon having 
arrived a few days before he was expected. 

Latterly Lady Sophia Cecil lived in Granville 
Place, where she kept up the old-fashioned custom 
of having sucking-pig for her Christmas dinner, 
that being her favourite piece de resistance. Many 
of her guests would doubtless have preferred a 
good Norfolk turkey. 

We do not come across many sucking-pigs now, 
I am glad to say, but it was a favourite dish of my 
maternal grandfather's. When alone he liked his 
children to come and sit at the table while he ate 
his dinner. They had to bring their books which 
they were expected to read to themselves or look at 
pictures and not dare to breathe a word unless spo- 
ken to by their stern parents. About the time of 
which I am thinking a new litter of puppies had 
been born in the stables. These were a source of 
great joy to the children, especially to one small 
boy who had singled out a puppy as his favourite. 

My grandfather was enjoying his sucking-pig, 
served up as was then considered appetising, full 
length on a dish decorated with pickled walnuts, 
apple sauce and beetroot. Suddenly he looked up 
and noticed one of his small sons with bent head 
glancing furtively at the dish, growing redder and 
redder in the face, whilst one or two big splashing 
tears fell on his book. When asked what was the 
matter, he replied, amid choking sobs, "Poor little 
yellow puppy!" The griefs of our childhood may 
have been brief, but they were very real. 



214 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

I wonder what makes trivial happenings of long 
ago so fixed in our memories ? While turning over 
in my mind some of the great moments I have 
experienced, I find a number of silly and quite un- 
important affairs will push themselves forward. 
Why, for instance, at the present moment should I 
think of the following? 

My husband thought he would like to spend his 
short leave fishing in Scotland. We agreed we 
would have another honeymoon all by our lone 
selves, "Far from the madding crowd," this being 
suitable to cooing and fishing combined. A bache- 
lor friend offered us his cottage near Nairn, which 
he was not occupying, and said he had ordered "a 
trap of sorts," the only thing to be had in the neigh- 
bourhood, to meet us at the station. 

It all sounded delightful. My man implored me 
to travel very light, as he did not wish to "drag a 
ton of luggage" about with us. I did my best and 
thought I had made a very modest and wise selec- 
tion of "wanteds." 

When the luggage stood on the platform I really 
felt proud and superior, for I had only one port- 
manteau that I could easily lift, and two rods neatly 
done up. My husband's luggage consisted of a huge 
portmanteau bulging out at the sides, and sur- 
rounded by a collection of fishing-rods, landing 
nets, reels, guns, great coat, etc. He was rather 
apologetic and burbled something about its being 
wise to take plenty of boots, but "the beastly things" 
take up a lot of room you know. 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 215 

Being a reasonable and well-conducted wife, I 
agreed it really was marvellous how he had got so 
much into so small a space, and I was rewarded by 
being told I was a "sensible woman." 

So in this happy frame of mind we sat close to- 
gether, hand-in-hand, and looked out of the rail- 
way carriage window, hunting the country in 
imagination as we passed through it. We had great 
arguments as to how we should negotiate certain 
fences which look small when viewed from the 
window of a train, and often so formidable on 
closer acquaintance. 

We arrived safely at the cottage so kindly lent 
to us after a rather exciting drive behind a won- 
derful grey mare of many summers. She had one 
ear that stood up and flickered while listening for 
any instructions, the other lying down and flopping 
about as she moved, a veritable scarecrow on four 
wonderfully useful clean legs. 

The vehicle, — for what else can I call it? — had 
once been a dog-cart, no doubt of "high degree." 
One spring was gone, which gave it a rakish ap- 
pearance, and no step was left of any kind, so my 
husband gave me a leg up as if I was mounting a 
horse and landed me on the back seat, telling me 
to "hang on." It was well I did, for evidently the 
bump I gave on landing was a signal to the grey 
mare, for off she flew, hard held by the country 
bumpkin driving her. My husband came tearing 
along behind, holding on to all the pieces of string 
and strap he could find hanging about. At last he 



2i6 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

clambered up by me with the aid of one foot I held 
out to assist him. I could not spare a hand; and 
from the back seat he scrambled over to the front 
by the driver, which effort resulted in his hat falling 
off. 

I heard him conversing with the Jehu on the 
subject after this fashion, "Can't you see I've lost 
my hat, you fool ? Stop when I tell you !" 

Reply — ''Don't you be a fashing of yourself. Ye 
can gang the morrow and be afther for fetching 
of it, for stop the varmint I canna!" Then came 
something about tempting Providence. However, 
all is well that ends well, but we saw the hat no 
more. 

We did not have the best of weather, but had a 
glorious time all the same. 

A minister of the kirk near where we were asked 
us to tea with him one afternoon. We had never 
seen him before this visit, and I have never seen 
him since, but he found we had many mutual 
friends so had a fine long pow-wow. He apologised 
much for his rooms, saying that being a bachelor 
he was rather untidy, and had nobody to put things 
straight for him, and so on. 

Tea was brought in on a big black tin tray by his 
housekeeper, a stout woman with a healthy soap- 
shiny face, especially polished I think for the oc- 
casion, her skirts fulled in well round the waist, 
back and front alike, surmounted by a spotless 
apron. The lady did not smile upon us and we felt 
rather awed. Presently she left the room and we 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 217 

breathed again, for she was a dour-looking dame. 

We were having an excellent tea with honey, 
bilberry jam and other good things, when our host 
suddenly rang the bell, explaining that his house- 
keeper had forgotten the slop basin. She arrived 
in response to the bell. We were then deep in 
conversation, so, almost without turning his head 
he said, *'Mary, you have forgotten the slop basin." 
There came no rejoinder; she retired and shut the 
door. After waiting a while the bell was rung 
again and answered as before. "The slop basin, 
please, Mary, I am waiting for it." 

A loud and piqued sniff was the only response 
and the door shut with emphasis. We continued 
our conversation, but no slop basin arrived. I as- 
sured him I liked the dregs of my tea, that all the 
"best families" did, but no, he would ring again. 

This time Mary appeared with a red face and 
glittering eyes, and when asked why she did not 
bring the slop basin she, with arms akimbo, and 
nodding head, shouted, "Go on wi yer. It's all 
along o' yer own arkardness, for yer know yer h'ant 
got one!" 

Tableau ! 

During that honeymoon I had some fine fishing. 
One cloudy day, when the water was dirty and 
rapid, I started fishing with a blue doctor I had 
tied myself. After fishing patiently for over an 
hour with no result I fortified myself with some 
damp biscuits and changed my blue doctor for a 
m,innow, best of all dull day baits, I was soon re- 



2i8 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

warded, but had hooked a brute who sulked in a 
big pool. Nothing would persuade him to leave. 
I pulled steadily with rod low for the best part of 
an hour. Presently a tug or two warned me he was 
thinking of changing his tactics, and down he 
rushed, with me after him, rod up and reeling in as 
fast as I could. I wanted to get opposite to him 
when the fight would soon have been over. This he 
seemed to know, for he kept me racing up and down 
the bank, and then wading recklessly after him, 
fearing I might inadvertently in my scrambles 
lower the point of my rod when, of course, the show 
would be over at once and good-bye to the fish ! 

Just when on the point of tears from fatigue and 
excitement my fish began to weary too, and by de- 
grees I got him into shallow water, keeping up a 
steady haul. He came splashing up on his side 
close under the bank. 

I laid my rod down with nearly tight line, handle 
uppermost, and made a detour to avoid his head, 
crept down and tailed him. Such a beauty, about 
twenty pounds, the largest I had caught, but oh! 
should I be able to hold him? He kicked with all 
the life left in him, with the result that I ended by 
falling on my face but still holding him with both 
arms. I nearly lost him, but spread myself out as 
much as I could, determining that sooner than lose 
him I would lie there till one or both of us died. 

Fortunately my lord, growing uneasy about me, 
came to see where I was. He had been fishing 
further up the river. Hearing his "coo-ee" with 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 219 

which we called one another when apart, I answered 
with what breath I had left, and when he arrived 
how pleased I was to see him. He soon settled the 
matter. 

I had another quaint drive once at the end of a 
shooting expedition. We had been after snipe, my 
husband, Colonel Reginald Sartorious, V.C, Mrs. 
Dutton, a great friend of mine, and a first-rate shot, 
and myself. Our return journey brought us through 
Cawnpore, about which I must speak before relat- 
ing my curious drive. None can surely visit that 
city of melancholy fame without memories surging 
through his brain of the heroes who shared in the 
agony of that time — Havelock, the gentle Outram 
and stern Sir Colin. 

The story of the massacre is old history, but I 
happen to have a photograph of the house and well 
taken at the time under great difficulties while the 
blood of the women and children was still wet on 
the walls and floors, and as I have never heard of 
or seen another taken at that time it may be of in- 
terest. It was taken by a Doctor FitzGerald, with 
the relieving forces, and given to me by Colonel 
E. W. Shaw of the 27th Madras Native Infantry, 
who also was there with his regiment and is still 
living, enjoying life though eighty years of age, 
and I believe he is the only surviving officer of that 
regiment who were present at the time. 

The three windows seen in the picture are those 
of the room where the five butchers carried out 
their ghastly work, the shrieks and scuffling telling 



220 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

its own pitiful tale. The horrors commenced at 
4 p. m. one day until too dark to see, when the key 
was turned in the door and dying and dead were left 
mixed up until the morning, next day the work was 
continued, all being over by 9 a. m. except for a few 
little crazed children running round the well where 
their mothers' bodies had been thrown. The poor 
little souls were seized and thrown in alive with the 
rest. The historic well lies between the tree and 
the building, commencing near the trunk of the 
tree where the decorative tiles are visible on the 
broken wall and extending to where they are seen 
again on the left. 

In a letter received from Colonel Shaw after read- 
ing my last book of ''Memories," he says, referring 
to my description of the historic rooms and well, 
"The house was exactly in the condition you have 
described." Later he adds, 'T also went to see 
where our poor countrymen and women had made 
so gallant a defence. The entrenchment was so low 
anyone could have jumped over it, and it is wonder- 
ful how they were able to hold out so long." 

But now about the drive, though after thinking 
and writing of the Cawnpore days it is difficult to 
write of frivolities. We decided to stay at an hotel 
while passing through the city, as we were hardly 
presentable enough for putting up with friends. 
I retired to my room, the men went off to drink 
pegs with one of the Regiments stationed there at 
the time, I rather fancy it was the 95th. 

After a while the men came back to say they had 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 221 

promised that we would all dine at their mess that 
night and a carriage would be sent to fetch us. 
We had no evening garment suitable to the occasion 
with us, but made ourselves clean. During the 
cleansing process in my room, which opened on to a 
verandah, one of the crows, so bold and cheeky in 
India, insisted on coming in. I shoo-ed it out sev- 
eral times, but it came back again and made tracks 
for a tea-tray standing near my bed. I then threw 
a brush at it. Beyond hopping to one side no no- 
tice was taken of my hostility, so I picked up a 
teaspoon and threw that, which the bird promptly 
picked up and flew away with it. I never saw the 
treasure again, and it was a treasure for I greatly 
dislike the taste of metal in my tea and when 
travelling always carried this old silver spoon with 
me, and now it was gone. The crow scored and I 
felt annoyed both wdth the bird and myself. It was 
a much-travelled spoon. 

Being told the carriage was waiting my pleasure, 
I emerged clean but ruffled. 

The carriage turned out to be a bullock cart, a 
low sort of affair with high sides. The seats ran 
omnibus-fashion down each side, comfortably cush- 
ioned in Turkey red. The steeds were two milk- 
white bullocks with humps on their backs, or 
"humfs," as my very English bearer called them. 
The servant who had brought this equipage was not 
allowed to drive, as Colonel Sartorious declared he 
was proficient in the art of driving such cattle. 
The gentle-eyed beasts of burden resenting a new 



222 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

driver refused to start until their usual driver spoke 
swear words to them, then we got under way, Col- 
onel Sartorious driving without reins as is usual 
under the circumstances, the guiding and urging 
being carried out entirely by twisting the animals' 
tails. Presently, without any warning, we came to 
a full stop, and the steeds lay down in the middle 
of the road. The servant running behind thought 
Colonel Sartorious must have been giving an extra 
twist or perhaps a twist too little and this was the 
result. 

We were growing very hungry and our hosts 
were waiting for us, so we were firm and refused to 
allow the Colonel to drive us any more, though he 
protested, saying he had often driven the same sort 
of animals in the same sort of cart belonging to his 
own regiment, the 6th Bengal Cavalry. 

We arrived late of course, and threw the blame 
on to the broad shoulders of the driver who had so 
fancied his own powers in bullock-driving. 

We passed the guardian angel standing over the 
historic well as we moved homewards the follow- 
ing day, and it was just the hour when long years 
before the Agony of Cawnpore had begun, 4 p. m., 
the time when those murdered ones had been in 
the habit of "eating the air," as they say in India, 
when people emerge after the heat of the day. I 
suppose I had become very silent, for I was asked 
if anything was the matter. My husband replied 
for me, saying, "She always gets the dumps in 
Cawnpore !" 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 223 

I used to enjoy talking over Mutiny times and 
Indian days with Sir Owen Burne. He seemed to 
have noticed so many things that had escaped 
others, and our views often coincided. He was an- 
other of my friends who were present at the murder 
of Lord Mayo, and he had enjoyed a Httle jaunt on 
the Suez Canal with my friend, Monsieur de Les- 
seps, though in his case it was before the canal was 
opened to the world. He was also a great admirer 
of Lord Lytton, for whom he had acted as private 
secretary. 

It was after Sir Owen's return to England, when 
Lord Mayo was killed, that Queen Victoria sent for 
him to tell her all about it, he having been private 
secretary to the Viceroy at the time of his death. 

I was an admirer of Sir Owen's. He was so per- 
severing and so plucky, having no one but himself 
to thank for arriving at the top of the ladder. He 
was one of nineteen children and started in the 
world with twenty-five pounds in his pocket, the 
only sum of money he ever took from his people, 
who were not rich and had so large a family to 
bring up. 

I have had many discussions with him over vol- 
unteering for Active Service. He disapproved 
strongly of men "volunteering for medals and 
fame." I told him what he was saying was really 
disapproving of ambition, which is such a splendid 
attribute and without which neither men nor wom- 
en do much good either for themselves or other 
people, and I was surprised at his expressing such 



224 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

views considering ambition had been so great a 
factor in his own life. He repHed, if the country 
wanted men they would be called for without any 
medal-hunting on their own part. 

From Sir Owen's earliest days I could gather he 
had been filled with ambition, and to me it seemed 
that his ambitions were amply fulfilled, but much 
of his life was spoilt by feeling his endeavours were 
neither fully appreciated nor rewarded. Yet from 
an impecunious subaltern with a shy manner he 
became military secretary to the Commander-in- 
Chief, Sir Hugh Rose, for which appointment he 
was very young, and he felt most keenly that when 
some cases with which he had been dealing were 
reported in the usual course of events to the Com- 
mander-in-Chief in England, he expressed disap- 
proval, laying the blame on "the very young Mili- 
tary Secretary." The Duke of Cambridge having 
approved of the appointment at the time it was 
offered to Sir Owen. The latter felt annoyed and 
pained, he therefore resigned, feeling rather bitter 
and very disappointed. He appears, however, to 
have taken it in the right spirit. 

He worked hard all his life, passing from one 
good appointment to another, amongst them politi- 
cal A.D.C. to the Duke of Argyll, Secretary of 
State for India, head of the political and secret de- 
partment of India Office in London, etc., never do- 
ing anything epoch-making or particularly brilliant, 
but some of the pictures in life that are in subdued 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 225 

colouring are the most pleasing and remain long 
in the memory. 

I think the private den of Sir Owen's, when in 
Sutherland Avenue in London, and Mr. Grant's, 
secretary to the Yacht Squadron at Cowes in the 
Isle of Wight, were amongst the most interesting I 
can remember, being full of souvenirs and gifts 
from kings, queens, and people of interest, histor- 
ically, famously and infamously great. I delighted 
in wandering round the rooms of these two friends 
and hearing the histories attached to the treasures. 

Amongst the amusing stories Sir Owen told me 
was one of the time of the Shah of Persia's visit 
to England. He was rather a troublesome person 
to control, and could not understand why he must 
not do exactly as he liked. For instance, once 
when told he (the Shah) must take the Queen in 
to dinner he absolutely and flatly declined explain- 
ing there was another lady of very ample propor- 
tions (but whose name I must not mention) who 
appealed to his taste much more, and he intended to 
take her in, and Sir Owen must see to it that his 
wishes were respected. Sir Owen turned first one 
big official and then another on to His Highness, 
who eventually did as he was told, but very sulkily 
and with bad grace, fairly dragging the poor Queen 
in to dinner. 

After this had passed off without undue com- 
ment, the Shah informed Sir Owen he wished to see 
a boxing contest "with lots of blood !" Not wishing 
to again offend, Sir Owen, feeling very uncomfort- 



226 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

able at having to arrange anything of the kind to 
take place on the royal premises, and wondering 
what would happen if it was found out, arranged 
with Lord Queensberry and, I think, Sir Claude de 
Crespigny, to have a garden performance in a quiet 
corner somewhere near the Royal stables. 

Unfortunately things went wrong, there were so 
many appointments to be made and kept. Some- 
how the bishops in lawn sleeves and frills, who were 
awaiting an interview with the potentate to beg 
him to use his influence to protect Christian Mis- 
sions, got mixed up with the fight. The dignitaries 
turned tail and fled, feeling strangely out of place 
in their robes and frills. 

It was most awkward, for barring this accident 
the fight might have passed off without many peo- 
ple knowing much about it. Lord Shaftesbury, 
however, who was acting as spokesman for the 
Bishops, was furious and, spluttering with rage, 
asked Sir Owen what he meant by arranging fights 
in the precincts of the Palace. When calmer he 
addressed the Shah on behalf of the Bishops in 
suitable language. In reply His Highness said 
curtly in Persian, "Oh, hang the Christian Mis- 
sions." It was Sir Owen's privilege and duty to 
repeat the Shah's words in a beautiful form that 
would appeal to the prelates and make them happy. 
This he succeeded in doing. 

When it was all explained to the Queen she was 
quite placid and calm, understanding the arrange- 
ment had been made purely for the entertainment 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 227 

of her guest at his own request, but some of the 
Court officials bristled with indignation as if they 
had been personally insulted. It was hard on Sir 
Owen as the very last thing in the world that 
would have afforded him pleasure would have been 
a fight of any kind, yet he was treated by some as 
if he were a naughty schoolboy who had been 
caught stealing lollypops. 

The prize fight having been cut short by the en- 
trance of the Bishops, the Shah now suggested that 
he would like to see a cock fight, but by this time 
neither Sir Owen nor anybody else felt the least 
inclined to humour the foreign guest — Shah or 
otherwise. 

Lord Sydney, the then Lord Chamberlain, wrote 
a very indignant letter to Lord Queensberry, asking 
him how he dared turn Buckingham Palace into a 
boxing-saloon. Lord Queensberry by way of reply 
enclosed the letter he had received from Lord 
Knollys asking him to get up the show, adding, 
"Might I ask my lord to what department of Her 
Majesty's Government I am to apply to be refunded 
the £25 which I paid the pugilists?" 

No reply was received to this. 

All the officials in any way connected with the 
Shah's well-being and happiness during his sojourn 
on our shores were thankful when the day came for 
his return to his own country. His demands were 
without precedent, and all matters connected with 
Courts and Royalties are ruled by established pre- 
cedent. 



228 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

For instance what was to be done when he gave 
orders that the whole of the Alhambra ballet, also 
Cornelie D'Anka, were to be purchased for him and 
his Grand Vizier sent to bring them along. 

Nobody dare break the news to the potentate that 
this was not feasible. At last the Grand Vizier 
looking crestfallen retm'ned to announce his failure 
in carrying out his orders. ''AH right," remarked 
the Shah, ''wait until we get back to Teheran and 
then off comes your head." 

It was arranged amongst other things to amuse 
this foreign visitor that he should be taken to 
Epsom races. He was pleased with the idea. The 
first race was won by Lord Rosebery, then Prime 
Minister, the second by the Prince of Wales. "Ah ! 
I see," said the Shah, "you arrange the races the 
same as we do in Teheran, only the Shah and Grand 
Vizier are allowed to win." 

One day when he was driving through the streets 
with the Queen, there was considerable cheering. 
He remarked to the Queen, that this must be very 
expensive. Her Majesty rather indignantly replied, 
"Certainly not, merely the latent loyalty of my 
subjects." 

"Oh," replied the Shah, "when I want to be 
cheered in Teheran I have to disburse much 
largesse!" 

It has interested me watching the way that the 
treatment children and young people meet with 
affects their characters. Some who have been 
harshly treated and had to struggle for themselves 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 229 

become harsh and take their revenge when their 
time comes, meting out the same treatment that 
they have received with interest, the harder from 
having conquered single-handed and not forgetting 
to impress that fact on those under their thumb. 
Others it makes helpful to young ones going 
through the mill. This was the case with Sir Owen 
Burne. He was most kind and at all times helpful 
to young ones "coming on." His own small family 
adored him. He married twice, his first wife was 
a sister of Lord Kilmaine, his second was Lady 
Agnes Douglas, daughter of the Earl of Morton. 

I think I can best describe my friend as a dainty 
man, dainty in speech and in choice of his friends, 
more particularly his women friends. 

He died in 1909. 



CHAPTER XII 

The Pantechnicon on Fire — Caught in the Crowd — ^Un- 
pleasant Experiences — A Goat to the Rescue — Another 
Alarm on board Ship; nearly wrecked — A Calcutta 
Merchant Loses his Head — Author Helps him to Save 
his Soul — King- Edward VH's Coronation — A Long 
Wait — The Procession — Archbishop of Canterbury 
Overtired — The King Helps him — The King Kisses his 
Son — Emotional Moments — A Funeral at Sea — Some 
Love Affairs — How they were Arranged — One of the 
Saddest Sights in Life — A Naughty Favourite at Court 
— Discovered Philandering — A General and his Son 
Aspire to the Hand of Same Lady — Bishop Warburton's 
Views of Life. 

THERE are few of us I suppose who at some 
time or other in our lives have not been 
really frightened. I have been in a rail- 
way accident and was not the least alarmed; cer- 
tainly it was more funny than serious, but we did 
not know at the time how it was going to turn out. 
Hunting and carriage accidents I have had galore, 
and I do not remember being particularly fright- 
ened ; I have also slept in a haunted room all alone, 
feeling very brave and not the least frightened, 
possibly because I saw no ghost ; but I can remem- 
ber twice in my life being petrified with fright and 
thoroughly ashamed of myself for being so. 

230 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 231 

Once was when the pantechnicon in Motcomb 
Street off Lowndes Square was on fire. 

My mother and I were staying with friends in 
Lancaster Gate while my wedding garments were 
being prepared. One afternoon between tea and 
dinner an old friend, Mr. Fred Verner (son of Colo- 
nel Verner, who married Mrs. Hamborough, of 
Steephill Castle), came in and told us there was a 
big fire on, somewhere in the South-west district, 
and he thought we should be able to see the flames 
and smoke from the upper windows of the house 
we were in. 

Never having seen a big fire, I expressed a wish 
to go and have that experience, so we all bundled 
off in hansom cabs, telling the drivers to take us as 
near to the fire as they could. Naturally, we all got 
separated, each cabman having views of his own 
as to the shortest route. I was in a cab with Mr. 
Verner, and we got comparatively close to the scene. 
Great crowds had already collected and, what I had 
not counted on, fresh crowds soon hemmed us in, 
and the flames were advancing in our direction in 
leaps and bounds. Sparks were falling on the 
horse's back and on the people, who tried to get 
out of the way as we did, but were unable to do 
so owing to the crowd behind us. 

The horse grew wild and so did the crowd; the 
cabby lashed with his whip at the men who inter- 
fered with his horse's head until it was seized from 
him and broken up. 

Those around us were now growing hostile, and 



232 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

things looked serious, when their attention was 
diverted by a livery-stable keeper close to where we 
were, trying to get his horses out of their stables, 
which were now on fire. 

Nothing would persuade the animals to come out 
until a goat was produced and handed in from some 
back premises, after which a few of the horses fol- 
lowed it. The rest, I fear, were burnt. 

The smell and the heat combined was over- 
powering. Our cabby relieved his feelings by air- 
ing his most telling swear words. Mr. Verner was 
fervently wishing "to God I had never brought you 
out," when our horse after one more futile effort to 
frighten the crowd, fell down on its side with a 
crash, breaking both shafts. At first we thought 
it was dead so still did it lie ; but I think the num- 
ber of people who promptly stood on its head and 
all over its body was the cause of its quietude. 

Happily for us, a policeman walking on the roof 
of the stables saw our danger and directed the hose 
to be turned on the crowd behind us, which led to 
our being escorted from the remains of our cab 
into a house in Lowndes Square, where we remained 
for a while before making our way home. I escaped 
with nothing worse than a badly bruised arm, 
where I had been forced into the iron thing the 
window shuts down on. 

Mr. Verner handed some money to the cabman 
with his card before we left him, and we saw the 
poor little gee get on to its legs again looking much 
older, and so did we. In addition to having added 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 233 

to our years we were wet through from the water 
that was played around us to clear off the crowd, 
and I could not get the smell of burning out of my 
hair for a long time. 

I never wish to be in a crowd of that description 
again, and I now take care to avoid fires if pos- 
sible. 

I believe the goat that was fetched to induce the 
horses to follow it was the one belonging to the 
Duke of Cambridge, which spent its life wander- 
ing unmolested between Gloucester House and Pic- 
cadilly from end to end. Long after the fire I was 
told that the goat belonged to the Duke; if so, it 
was probably the one I remember some years later 
when we were in Park Lane. Its staple food 
seemed to be newspapers, which it ate with avidity, 
what else it had I do not know. Billy managed to 
thrive, being fat and comely, while dignified and 
majestic, friendly with all except errand boys, who, 
however, were not interfered with unless they spoke 
words of endearment or made chirrupy noises. 

My next fright was on board ship going out to 
India, when the Eldorado was wrecked off the coast 
of Portugal, the sea was running mountains high, 
and there was a nasty fog. We had been signalled 
to pick up some of the passengers, and got into 
trouble ourselves. It was evening, and we had been 
sent to our berths for safety, as the sea was wash- 
ing everything off the deck. We were allowed 
light, however, so that we might amuse ourselves as 
best we could. Judging by the thundering of the 



234 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

seas smashing on to the deck matters were not im- 
proving. We could hear amidst all the noise 
anxious voices shouting words of command on the 
deck, bells ringing to the engine-room, and general 
excitement. 

We had been having some excitement ourselves 
in our endeavour to remain in our berths, when with 
an extra roll, which we all thought was bound to be 
her last, the ship heeled over to such an extent that 
all lights went out, swinging water-bottles turned 
somersaults, crockery from one end of the ship to 
the other seemed to be smashing, passengers 
screamed and groaned, water rushed down the com- 
panionway into the saloon with such force that it 
burst my cabin door open. 

I had been thrown completely out of my bunk 
with mattress and bedding on top of me. My port- 
manteau bobbed about in the water on one side, 
having broken loose from under my crib, and pieces 
of crockery and books were flying about my head. 
I do not know what besides, for it was as dark as 
ink. 

Presently someone came splashing down the 
saloon shouting that we were all to dress at once 
and go on deck. Go on deck, indeed! Easier said 
than done. Personally I was so petrified with fright 
that not to save my life could I have walked a 
yard. I think the screaming of the women and 
children in the other cabins, combined with the 
darkness and wealth of water in the cabin, must 
have been what deprived me of my power to move. 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 235 

I said to myself, "This is ridiculous. I must not 
give way and be a fool.'* An extra sluice of water 
brought something with it that gave me a bump on 
the head. The water was in my ears and every- 
thing buzzing and a long way off, and then I was to 
all intents and purposes dead. 

All my life, since I began to notice things and 
think, I had held a firm belief that death was not a 
thing to dread, on the contrary, that it was rather 
beautiful, and that many confused the process of 
dying with death. The actual dying, paying the 
last penalty for having lived and for all our short- 
comings, is often painful, at times an agony; but 
death is not ; I have felt ever since that voyage that 
I have experienced dying and tasted death. 

When I became conscious again I was in a nice 
dry bunk and the stewardess sitting beside me. I 
was told I was not to talk, but she gave me some 
details of what had eventually happened. A little 
child in the next cabin to mine had suffered a good 
deal, its arm and one thumb being broken. 

The ship had at the last moment decided to right 
herself, but nobody had been allowed on deck as 
everything was in a mess and had to be cleared up. 

As soon as I was able to appear, I was asked if 
I would see what I could do with a Calcutta mer- 
chant who had refused to get off the floor of his 
cabin, where he lay on his tummy groaning at in- 
tervals. We had been great friends up to the time 
of our fright, so I went and asked him what he 
thought he was doing. On hearing my voice he 



236 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

pushed one hand along the floor in front of him 
saying, ''Oh! is that you? I am saving my soul!" 
I told him if he would get up and come with me into 
the saloon, or better still, on deck, where I felt less 
sick, I would help him with the task. After a while 
he consented, but he was terribly shaken and quite 
childish, bursting into tears at intervals. 

Like a good r rv^ more on board, I was very 
brave when it was all over, and able to help in 
clothing the passengers from the Eldorado that we 
had picked up, by lending and altering clothes for 
them, they having arrived on board with nothing 
but night garments, waterproof cloaks and such- 
like things. 

After this episode I meditated a good deal on 
courage, and tried to comfort myself with the 
thought that it is not a virtue at all really, as it may 
and can quite easily become the servant of great 
villainy! After this reflection my self-respect re- 
turned in a measure. 

Perhaps the two ceremonies that have impressed 
me most were King Edward VIFs Coronation, with 
all its pageantry, and a funeral at sea, grandly and 
painfully simple. 

The former was a great gathering, all glitter, 
pomp and stateliness, but a most fatiguing day for 
all concerned. The morning was cold and cloudy. 
Everyone had to be in his place in the Abbey by 
8 a. m., though the King and Queen did not arrive 
until 1 1. 1 5. Some people sat in their places all 
night for fear of being unable to find their seats. 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 237 

There was, however, plenty to occupy and amuse 
the mind during the waiting hours, by watching 
the seats filling up. It was a wonderful scene, from 
the south transept the altar could be seen and the 
seats where the King and Queen knelt to receive 
the sacrament. In the north transept sat the peer- 
esses, in the south the peers. Galleries were thrown 
across and further back for members of the House 
of Commons and their wives. 

All were beginning to feel as if they could take 
in a reef about their waists when the procession was 
heralded by the singing of "Ein Feste Burg 1st 
Unser Gott," accompanied by trumpets. Heard 
from the distance by those in the galleries it sounded 
soft and sweet, and our emotions, which were many 
on that day, had begun. Then, as the procession 
filed in, came the exultant fanfare of trumpets and 
as they died away the Westminster boys, hidden 
away somewhere near the organ, suddenly and 
startlingly burst forth with "Ave, ave, ave," fol- 
lowed by a verse in Latin and winding up with a 
shrill and most effective "Vivat, vivat, vivat." 

The beautiful and stately Queen, as she moved 
holding the King's hand, showed as well as did the 
King, signs that the emotions of their subjects was 
shared also by them. Many, both old and young, 
were moved to tears. 

The poor old Archbishop of Canterbury, after 
administering the oath and the actual Coronation, 
(when he nearly dropped the Crown), found his 
strength considerably taxed. The King and Queen 



238 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

took their seats near the altar to receive homage, 
he was the first to render it, and found he was un- 
able to rise again, and had to be helped by the King, 
who took him kindly by the hand. 

King George, at that time Prince of Wales, was 
the next to kneel in homage, and the King put his 
arm round his son's neck, kissing him affectionately. 
It was very touching, and Lord Spencer, one of the 
most conspicuous figures at the Coronation, found 
an inconvenient tear or two trickling down his nose. 

All was so real and yet so like a dream. Many 
thoughts filtered through one's brain, while for 
some reason the refrain of that old song, "For the 
Fashion of This World Passeth Away," kept haunt- 
ing me. Truly a great "tomasa," impressive and 
splendid, and yet for what a little while — and then 
— all present on that historic day would be as one 
family, doing homage at the throne of the Most 
High. 

Dr. Temple, the Archbishop, who so nearly 
dropped the crown through feebleness, said he con- 
sidered the greatest compliment ever paid to him 
came from one of his Rugby boys, who said, "Tem- 
ple is a beast, but he is a just beast." 

At times Temple could be quite witty, and once 
when looking on at a cricket match he overheard 
one boy say to another, "Do you know, Jack, I 
have entered for the Confirmation Stakes." 

A voice they both immediately recognised came 
from behind them. 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 239 

"Well, you had better consider yourself 
scratched." 

At the end of that tiring impressive Coronation 
day one was left with a feeling of sadness and de- 
pression. I could not shake it off; when the service 
was over it all seemed still more unreal and dream- 
like, and a number of "whys ?" would keep cropping 
up in my mind. I was glad to fly back to the coun- 
try, where the placid sheep hide their faces in the 
hedge-row, and the trees whisper of things less 
transitory. Here I could feel again the calm and 
content that such things bring. 

The funeral at sea struck me as one of the most 
profoundly grand and profoundly sad ceremonies 
I have ever witnessed, and the day has never been 
forgotten. 

It was in the Red Sea, and the heat almost past 
bearing. A dear old Indian Civil servant, who had 
spent all his best years out there to provide educa- 
tion and comforts for his children and wife at home, 
was on his way to the moment that he had dreamed 
of night and day for long. The great reunion — 
and then the remainder of his days in peace — 
amongst all his dear ones. As he was out of health 
his eldest daughter had been sent to take care of 
him on the way home, but all her care was of no 
avail, and he slipped away one very hot night. 

I was desperately sorry for the daughter. She 
was no longer young and rather retiring and shy. 
I pictured her sitting alone in her cabin facing all 
the dread details necessary to this occasion, and 



240 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

no one to hold out a hand of sympathy. I wrote 
a note and pushed it under the door asking if I 
could do anything either to save her pain or help 
to bear it. I received a reply thanking me, but she 
v^ould rather be alone. 

The next day at sundown the Captain read the 
service that brings comfort to many (but drives me 
frantic) over the pathetic figure done up in sacking 
and heavily weighted, over which lay the Union 
Jack. All were gathered close up to the side of the 
ship, and the gangway let down. When it came 
to the moment of committal the ship stopped, the 
paddle ceased churning the water, and there was 
not a sound of any kind. I shut my eyes, for I 
could not bear it, and there was an awful splash, 
followed by a piercing cry of anguish from the cabin 
just below. I can see the swirl of the water and 
hear that cry now as if it were yesterday. The 
engines continued their work, and in a few minutes 
the spot was left far behind. 

But the moment I heard that cry of anguish I 
fled down to the cabin and entered it without knock- 
ing, saying it was not right she should be alone, 
and folded my arms round this comparative strang- 
er, and began to cry from, sympathy. She lifted 
her face from the pillow with her hands still over 
her ears and looked at me stonily and coldly, and 
as I took her cold clammy hands into mine and then 
put my arm round her neck and drew her head 
down on to my shoulder, she found relief in tears. 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 241 

We were friends until she died, not a great number 
of years ago. 

The world is sad enough already without my 
piling up the agony, and now again I have fallen 
away from my resolve, and must not transgress 
any more, but turn to brighter subjects, marriage 
and giving in marriage, for example. Some of the 
affairs of which I have known have arranged them- 
selves in an uncommon manner. There was old 
General Brownrigg, a great frequenter of ladies' 
society and five o'clock teas. He took considerable 
interest in a girl whom he thought was making her- 
self too conspicuous with a man he knew something 
against, so he spoke seriously to her on the subject, 
advising her not to marry him. She answered him 
thus: "My dear General, I have never thought of 
him in that way. If there is a man I should like to 
marry it is yourself." "Dear me, this is very sud- 
den !" he replied. "I must take time to consider and 
entreat the Lord." He went home and on to his 
marrow bones. 

They were married! 

Rather a curious thing happened once when I 
was at the Academy with a man in the Carabineers. 
He stopped dead before a picture of a nice-looking 
girl, not particularly pretty, but very lady-like and 
with a sweet expression. He stood lost in con- 
templation for some moments. I asked him if he 
admired it very much, and he replied, "Yes! look 
at the book and tell me who she is, will you?" I 
did as I was asked., He had never seen the original 



242 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

in his life, but said she was the girl he should like 
to marry, and he did before he was much older. 

I have noticed how some of the ugliest of men 
have been the most successful with women. Mira- 
beau established this fact, in spite of his ugly- 
scarred and pox-marked face crowned with a head 
of untidy black hair, he not only found a woman 
to marry him but had a considerable number of 
liaisons as well. But then we are told beauty is in 
the eye of the beholder. How often men flutter 
about amongst the pretty and handsome girls and 
then marry a plain one ! 

I am now supposed to have arrived at years of 
discretion and have definitely come to the conclu- 
sion that the happiest marriages are not those 
where man and woman are passionately in love with 
one another, each believing the other perfect for 
about a fortnight, after which one or both fall from 
their pedestals. The carefully thought-out mar- 
riage of convenience has a much better sporting 
chance of happiness. Too much is not expected, and 
each respects the other's reason for making the 
arrangement. I have known one or two of these 
end most happily. 

The different methods and ways that men make 
love would make an amusing chapter, and if the 
names of the individuals were given it would be 
more amusing still, but that would not be fair. 

There is often something rather ridiculous about 
old men flirtations and love-making, but when 
women become lovish in their middle and old age it 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 243 

is tragic. One of the saddest sights in life is a 
frisky frump! 

It is astonishing when you have been behind the 
scenes for a while to find the number of people 
whom you had considered as the acme of straight- 
lacedness and virtue who deviate from the straight 
path. 

Some elderly men make love quite nicely. I re- 
member one experience of my own, when quite a 
girl. A dear Old General, then at the War Office 
honoured me by asking me to be his wife. His son, 
afterwards in the Scots Guards, likewise did me the 
honour. The former used to say, "Don't let that 
young cub of mine make an ass of himself. I'll cut 
him off with a penny if he does." The son, in his 
turn, used to say, "The poor old governor is getting 
a bit childish. If he bores you, let me know and 
I'll put a stop to it !" The General was rather pep- 
pery and most people were frightened of him; so 
when he popped the question I did not know how 
to get out of the difficulty of saying I regretted I 
did not see my way to oblige him. Amongst other 
rather lame reasons that I brought forth was that 
I should see so little of him as he would always be 
at work in the War Office. I was at once asked if 
I thought he was a clerk who went to work at 
eight a.m., and returned home at eight p.m.? I 
hastily said of course not, though I had not formed 
ideas on the point. He then with a pained smile 
said, *T go to work about twelve and return about 
four !" It obviously would not do to say that under 



244 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

these circumstances I should see too much of him 
perhaps. 

I ended in making such a donkey of myself in my 
endeavour not to hurt the feelings of the good man, 
who had been very kind to me when only an awk- 
ward school girl, that I left him in the seventh 
heaven of delight thinking I was going to make 
him happy for life and be a mother to his son ! 

My father had to readjust the matter. 

Bishop Warburton says the last of our lives is 
"a losing game." I do not quite agree with him. It 
is true that we only learn how to live when we are 
likely to be called upon to die, but the last half of 
our lives is one of more contentment, our ideals no 
longer beckon us as we gather up the threads of the 
past which we have learned to look upon with un- 
impassioned eyes, the days when everything seemed 
so overpowering by contrast to to-day. We all set 
out thinking and expecting to be amused by life, 
not grasping that until we have obtained life's satis- 
faction w^e are not in a position to be amused at all. 
It requires a stout heart to sing in exile. 

I remember an elderly man, who was known to 
have many loves, once asking my young brother if 
the Lyric Club (after it had moved from Bond 
Street, and where fortnightly dances were then be- 
ing held) was a place where he could take ladies. 

My brother replied, "Well, that depends whether 
you mean ladies or lydies!" The old boy looked 
uncomfortable. 



CHAPTER XIII 

The Marquess of Queensberry has a Row with a Pugilist — 
What Sir Claude de Crespigny Thought of him — A Row 
on a Race-course — A Friend for Life — A Long Ride — 
Breeches and Boots Cut Off — The Queensberry Rules 
drawn up by Someone Else — A Steeplechase on Foot 
with Fred Cotton — A Swim in the Night — Journey 
Minus Clothes — Ferryman's Surprise — Lady Queens- 
berry — England Going to the Dogs — Some Capable 
Women — The First Duke of Westminster^ — Some of his 
Race-horses — A Tragedy — And a Rumpus — Lord 
Bampton to the Rescue — Some of the Duke's Economies 
— "Ormonde" at a Garden Party. 

PERHAPS the pluckiest man I ever met was 
the late Lord Queensberry, the eighth Mar- 
quess. A wonderful sportsman, nothing 
came amiss to him; he did not know the meaning 
of the word fear and would tackle people stones 
heavier than himself. 

At one time in his life he was utterly infatuated 
with a beautiful actress, who was married to a huge 
bully; his attentions and admirations led to a dif- 
ference of opinion between the men. The bully- 
not having the courage to tackle the smaller but 
more courageous man, hired a professional pugilist 
to hammer him. So one day when Lord Queens- 
berry happened to be out for exercise in Maida Vale 

245 



246 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

he found himself in a cul-de-sac, when up came the 
pugilist saying, "My lord, I've got to give you a 
hiding." ''Right," said Lord Oueensberry. In a 
few seconds a ring was formed, but no policeman. 
Inside three rounds Lord Queensberry had his op- 
ponent out. 

Apparently the man bore no ill-will, for when 
occasionally he met his conqueror in Piccadilly, he 
always gave a somewhat exaggerated salute, saying 
"Good-day, my lord!" 

I saw a good deal of Lord Queensberry's first 
wife, who divorced him; she used to come and sit 
with me and talk about her sorrows and many dis- 
appointments. 

Sir Claude de Crespigny, who admires pluck in 
anyone, be they man, woman, or child, told me not 
long ago that "Old Q. was the bravest man of my 
acquaintance; he laughed at odds." 

Admiral Grenfell, who was, I believe, the strong- 
est man and hardest-hitter in the Navy of his days, 
was once asked if he had ever boxed with Lord 
Queensberry, who was considered a good man at 
the game. "Certainly I have." "Could you beat 
him?" "Beat him! I should have to kill him 
first." The Admiral was at least two stone heavier 
than Lord Queensberry. 

One of the reasons why the latter so often came 
out on top was owing to his fitness ; he was always 
in hard training, and it was noticeable the way those 
he conquered became great friends and admirers. 

Once at Warwick when Lord Queensberry who 




The Eighth Maniuess of Oueensberry 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 247 

had finished second in a steeplechase (he subse- 
quently disquahfied the horse that finished first) 
was on his way with saddle and weight-cloth to 
weigh in, a huge man in the ring called out, *'Well 
pulled, my lord." Down went the saddle and bang 
went the fists between the bookie's eyes. He was 
removed by the police, yet Lord Queensberry had 
made a friend for life. 

What made the incident the more remarkable 
was that the man was about the best pugilist in 
England, and in training to fight the following 
week. His admiration for a man of Lord Queens- 
berry's weight and inches tackling him knew no 
bounds, and the following day when his assailant 
took a bad toss on the far side of the course at 
Lichfield, he left his stand and ran across to where 
Lord Queensberry was lying, picked him up, put 
him into a fly and packed him ofif to the town. 

The following day to continue his attentions the 
bookie sent a present of some famous bone oil, in 
hopes of accelerating the recovery of the game and 
sporting lord. 

A wonderful sportsman he was too. During the 
five seasons that he hunted hounds he never missed 
a single day, though at one time he had strained a 
muscle in his thigh so badly that he found it im- 
possible to ride astride ; nothing daunted he rode in 
a side-saddle! 

He was a lover of animals, horses especially, and 
was kind to them, but they had to do some work. 
Once after hunting with Lord Wemyss close to the 



248 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

North Sea, he rode the horses he had hunted thirty- 
five miles towards home, then hired hacks from the 
Duke of Buccleuch's tenants and rode right across 
the Cheviots to Kinmount, where they had to cut 
off his boots and breeches, but he was out with his 
hounds next day. I think the first pack he hunted 
was the Worcestershire from, 1870 to 1871. He was 
not altogether popular from all I can gather, but it 
was before my hunting days. 

He was not a first-rate man on a horse and, as 
far as racing was concerned, never did anything 
wonderful. In fact his ambition as a rider was 
greater than his ability. He had become known as 
a gentleman-rider, and had registered the crimson 
and black cap as his colours in the Calendar, but 
latterly his riding was chiefly confined to the meet- 
ings round London. 

His name has been more closely associated with 
boxing than racing, and he was considered a good 
light-weight boxer. Who is there who has not 
heard of the Queensberry Rules in connection with 
boxing, yet he did not draw them up; they were 
drafted by a Mr. J. G. Chambers, who, I believe, 
owned Land and Water in its sporting days. He 
also rowed twice for Cambridge in the University 
Boat Race, but be that as it may he it was who drew 
up the rules and submitted them to Lord Queens- 
berry. 

In 1910 an exhaustive treatise was written on the 
Queensberry Rules of boxing by Mr. Frank Brad- 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 249 

ley, the best ever written both for amateur or pro- 
fessional. 

In the early days of boxing, when it was for- 
bidden that railways should carry passengers to 
see prize-fights, no gloves were worn, but even after 
prize-fights became the fashion, the orders for the 
railways still held good for a time. The ''Queens- 
berry Rules" were originally drawn up for some 
amateur challenge cup Lord Queensberry instituted 
to be won three years in succession, and these cups 
were what gave rise to the ever after popular 
Queensberry Rules, eleven in all. 

Lord Queensberry and that great athlete Fred 
Cotton, who Sir Malcom Fox inspector of gymnasia 
described as the most perfect specimen of an ath- 
lete that he had ever seen, decided to run a four- 
mile steeplechase over the Bogside course. The race 
looked so close towards the finish that Lord Eglin- 
ton and his brother held a driving whip by way of 
a tape. Lord Queensberry fell, completely ex- 
hausted a couple of paces short of the winning- 
post and Fred Cotton fell the same distance beyond 
it ; the former characteristically said, "Never mind, 
I came to before old Fred!" 

Considering that neither of these sportsmen had 
been in any special training beyond a round of 
balls in the neighbourhood, it was a severe contest. 

Lord Queensberry might always be relied upon 
to do original things. 

Once when hunting the Croome hounds they 
made a line over the Severn, Lord Queensberry and 



250 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

Fred Cotton alone followed. The war made the 
breeches of the former so slippery that he said he 
fell off at every fence until he killed his fox ; adding, 
however, "The swim cured me of a bad cold." 

On another occasion after dining with Lord 
Coventry, 'Old Q.' to save his horses three or four 
miles, drove a short cut to a ferry. Finding the 
boat was at the far side, and the ferryman evident- 
ly tucked up safely at home in bed, he undressed 
in his phaeton, swam the river, and walked half a 
mile up the street to the Ferryman's house. It took 
a little while to waken the good man, who was en- 
joying his first beauty sleep. 

Having at length succeeded in attracting his at- 
tention, it became necessary to convince the man 
if possible, that he, Lord Queensberry, was not a 
raving lunatic. Eventually succeeding, the river 
was recrossed in the ferry-boat. The dumbfounded 
ferryman watched his late companion re-dress in 
the phaeton and all once more started across the 
river ; after which the drive home was accomplished, 
not, I am sure, without a thoughtful remembrance 
to the ferryman. At all times Lord Queensberry 
was liberal and generous. He was an amiable man 
and loved a fair fight. 

Fred Cotton was also a man of many parts. I 
have a hunting-song he wrote once and sent to me 
with kindly messages from the composer; which 
reminds me I have not seen it lately; I must look 
it up. 

Lord Queensberry was on board a steamer once 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 251 

at Rio Janeiro en route for Montevideo when a 
huge Yankee came on board, and during the voyage 
made a nuisance of himself. The way it was de- 
scribed to me was, "He was always more or less 
in liquor and gratuitously insulted everybody." 

At one halting-place, I forget which, Harry 
Grenfell, subsequently an Admiral, came on board 
to give some instructions regarding a number of 
birds he was shipping. Shortly before this moment 
he had been refused a championship heavy-weight 
boxing cup because he slogged so hard and did not 
box. 

While in a stooping position (which doubtless 
looked very tempting) examining the lashings with 
his head close to the birds' spurs which if they were 
frightened and kicked out might have found the 
embryo Admiral's brain-pan, he remarked to a sea- 
man that he must be very careful of his ostriches. 
Suddenly a heavy hand dealt him a resounding 

smack, at the same time saying "You liar! 

they're not ostriches, they're emus." 

Then the fun began, and to everybody's delight 
the bully was soon lying senseless in the scupper. 
Lord Queensberry, always alert, immediately had 
him carried sideways over the gangway and took 
him ashore in a boat with his head hanging over 
the gunwale, thinking a little rest on shore again 
would be good for him ! 

When first I can remember Lord Queensberry 
was soon after I married; he was then about thirty- 
five or six, clean-shaven except for the little fuzzy 



252 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

side-whiskers then considered chic. When wearing 
a tall hat his black wiry hair stood out under it like 
a frill, especially as his hats were invariably a size or 
fio too small for his head, and he indulged in very 
curly brims. He was a small man, smart in his own 
way, but with curious theories on dress, women 
and a variety of other things. I wondered at any- 
body with such a pronounced nose daring to box. 

He was a good friend and kindly to all. He used 
to be laughed at a good deal, and very many were 
the weird stories in circulation about him. He died 
January 31st, 1900, the same year as his great 
enemy, the man he disliked most in all the world, 
Oscar Wilde. 

I once heard a woman say that Lord Queensberry 
was an atheist. I was pleased to be able to say 
that if he was he went to church all the same, as 
I knew when he was hunting the Worcestershire 
hounds he regularly attended the services in the 
cathedral, sitting behind the choir in the prebendary 
stalls. 

After thinking over all I knew of him and his 
life not many years before he died, I came to the 
conclusion that he had become his own father too 
soon. A little more discipline in early years was all 
that was wanting. He had been at Eton and six 
years at sea, but he became his own master at the 
age of fourteen. He was a descendant of the grand 
old stock of Douglas famed in song. There has been 
a good deal of money amongst them, not always 
spent wisely. 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 253 

A whole crowd of great sportsmen were on the 
stage, so to speak, doing brave and daring deeds 
when first I left the schoolroom, and having a great 
love for horses, dogs and all the great works of the 
outside world, I found a heap of people to interest 
and teach me. A few of the many kind friends 
with which I have been blessed all my life, caring 
as I do for the natural world described by Goethe 
as holding the "Open Secret" for all to see who feel 
so inclined, but which so few care to study. God's 
work is so infinitely more wonderful than that of 
man. 

It has become the fashion to say England is not 
the country she was, that we are all going "to the 
dogs" and degenerating, but I do not agree with 
this theory. It seems to me England is a much 
better country to live in now than she was even in 
my early days, to say nothing of one hundred years 
ago. It is no longer the fashion for men to get 
drunk and boast of it, as if it was a clever achieve- 
ment, neither are they so frivolous as they were. 
When airing this view to a friend a while ago he 
said, "Don't you believe it, dear lady, everything 
goes on just as it always has done, only we don't 
hear so much about it." 

I suggested that even under those circumstances 
we are moving up the scale. It is a step in the right 
direction if we do not proclaim our misdeeds and 
mistakes from the house-tops, calling all to come 
and admire our audacity. It is something to have 
learnt discretion. 



254 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

One of the most remarkable results of our ad- 
vanced civilization has been the evolution of the 
bachelor woman. There are no old maids now. 
The last thirty or forty years everything has moved 
so rapidly that we seem to have skipped a genera- 
tion or two and landed on our feet an entirely dif- 
ferent people. 

Women now have other things to think of be- 
sides love and marriage. The day is gone when the 
unwritten law of our lives was "Thou shalt not 
think!" We do think now, and the result is, we 
have emerged knowing our own minds, needs, and 
our own hearts. Self-reliant we refuse any longer 
to lead the artificial life that thirty years ago was 
considered "good form." 

There is an old song that tells us, 

"There are still some few remaining 
Who remind us of the past." 

I know one. She is a relation, and when a great 
friend of mine, a bonny girl, was going out to Rus- 
sia to nurse the wounded, she held up her hands in 
horror, saying: 

"Oh, but how dreadful for her. A nice young 
girl like that. She may have to wear pyjamas and 
all sorts of terrible things like that." 

We are all busy people now, and have no time 
to scream, or faint if we have to wear pyjamas, 
indeed we think them much the most modest and 
suitable things to wear when travelling. Neither 
do we now sit down and lapse into premature old 



tf«^ 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 255 

age and bitter thoughts for want of something bet- 
ter to do, and then resent the somewhat logical 
conclusions of our artificial education and lives. 

We do not grow old now as we used to do, for the 
face does not betray the years until the mind has 
given its consent. 

Women are ceasing to be parasites, house-keepers 
and useful commodities. They have learned to for- 
get their sex and mix amongst the workers and 
thinkers of the world in equality, and are doing very 
real work in a number of branches of usefulness at 
one time closed doors to them. Among other things 
they are now capable private secretaries to busy 
men. 

Not long ago I was talking to one of the leading 
business men of the day about something he wanted 
my advice on in connection with sporting garments, 
etc., and I could hardly attend to the matter in 
hand, being so taken up with the competency of his 
secretary. She stood by his side, and in a calm 
methodical manner handed him all he wanted as 
the occasion required, without having to be asked 
for anything. One time it would be a book, at an- 
other some notes, patterns, or brochures, then re- 
minding her chief of his next appointment, follow- 
ing him wherever he went making notes of every- 
thing to remind him later. 

She ran through a short resume of the points to 
be remembered before each interview, drove people 
away when they had been long enough, keeping 
everything up to time, no hurry and no fuss. 



256 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

During an interval when she had been sent on a 
message, I remarked on his secretary's efficiency, 
and he said he had been able to get through twice 
the amount of work since he had secured her serv- 
ices. The girl was quite nice-looking, no giggling, 
smiling or by-play, entirely composed, collected, 
and very quiet. I felt quite proud of my sex. 

Girls are free to-day to move about the world 
as they like; the consequence is that they are nat- 
ural, not always posing and pretending. They can 
meet men and be friendly and enjoy their society in 
a way that was impossible even a few years ago. 

The most delightful relationship in the world is 
the platonic, between man and woman as long as it 
lasts. Everyone should have a really great platonic 
affection for one of the opposite sex, it gives zest, 
and keeps up self-respect. It is a charming rela- 
tionship, no pretence or humbug, neither have any 
claim on the other, it can come to an end at any 
moment, only one thing is necessary, mutual tastes. 
Under these conditions people can be sane, which is 
more than anybody can be when in love. Another 
great advantage, there is none of that intimacy so 
death-dealing to all our finer feelings. 

Platonic affection is simply confidential, kindly 
companionship, nothing expected but comprehensive 
and loving kindness. 

This relationship is going to be the order of the 
day. It depends on a woman's tact and cleverness 
whether she can keep the relationship on a working 
footing. She must bear in mind that all interest 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 257 

ceases when the object of a man's liking- becomes 
familiar and the problematic and elusive elements 
have disappeared. 

Certainly some of nature's laws are open to 
criticism. Life is made up of so many things, too 
much of one, too little of another, stitches dropped, 
edges frayed, all incomplete, but we are getting 
nearer the solution of some of the big problems. 

Amongst the noted sportsmen of whom I was 
writing before I ran away on the present-day eman- 
cipation of women, I should have mentioned the 
Duke of Westminster, I mean the first Duke who 
owned so many celebrated horses, the most noted 
that recur to my memory at the moment being 
"Doncaster," ''Bend'Or," "Ormonde," "Orme" and 
''Flying Fox." 

"Doncaster" was a lucky deal for the Duke; He 
bought him from Mr. Peck, his trainer, for £10,000, 
why this low price I do not know, as Mr. Peck had 
bought him from Mr. Merry, the Iron Master, for 
£14,000. 

"Doncaster" was the head of a wonderful fam- 
ily, "Bend'Or" was his son, "Ormonde" the son of 
"Bend'Or," "Orme" the son of "Ormonde" "Flying 
Fox" the son of "Orme." 

The Duke had a special palatial home built for 
"Doncaster" at Eaton, each of the above horses 
occupying it in turn, except "Flying Fox" ; I think 
the Duke died before seeing him in it. 

"Ormonde" was the Duke's favourite; many peo- 
ple thought he would ride the gentle beast in the 



258 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

Queen's Jubilee procession, but he never for a mo- 
ment contemplated anything of the kind. The 
horse was not, however, left out in the cold during 
the festivities, the Duke having a box specially 
erected for him in the grounds in Upper Grosvenor 
Street and the horse was installed there during his 
great Jubilee garden party. Many horses would 
have had their heads turned with the amount of 
adulation he had bestowed upon him by guests. 
N€ver before did he receive so much patting and 
caressing, but he appeared in no way perturbed; 
even condescended to eat a scarlet geranium pre- 
sented to him by an Indian Chief, who had gathered 
it from a flower-pot standing near. 

The Duke liked rearing his own horses and 
watching their triumphs. He rode '"Ormonde" 
once round the paddock at Kingsclere, just to say 
he had been on the great horse. 

There were various tragedies connected with the 
Duke's racing, the greatest being the poisoning of 
poor Orme, who was intended to do such wonders. 
It was a great scandal and nobody was supposed to 
know who did the deed, but I have always thought 
the Duke had a fairly clear idea who the culprit 
was; and unless I am very much mistaken I know 
too. 

The Duke was absolutely straight in all his rac- 
ing matters. I never heard a breath against him, 
even when the fuss occurred over the 1880 Derby 
when "Bend'Or" won, and the owner of the second 
horse, "Robert the Devil," lodged an objection with 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 259 

the Stewards of Epsom Races and claimed the 
Derby Stakes. The owner of "Robert the Devil" 
was Mr. Charles Brewer, bookmaker and commis- 
sioner. He maintained "Bend'Or" was not "Bend'- 
Or" at all, but a colt named "Tadcaster" by "Don- 
caster." Such evidence as they had rested on the 
testimony of a stud-groom, who had been dis- 
charged from the Eaton stud, and two other em- 
ployes. 

They declared the two colts had got mixed up in 
the course of their transference from Eaton to 
Newmarket, or some such thing. As a matter of 
fact they had got their birth-marks entered up 
wrongly. Both horses were chestnut, and when 
"Tadcaster" was foaled he had a dark patch on one 
quarter, and it was over this marking the discussion 
arose. 

The mistake Mr. Brewer made was in going down 
to Eaton and persuading the groom to show him 
the stud-book, for the Duke would have raised no 
objection to showing it to anybody. Then followed 
an awkwardness, the stud-book got lost ! but turned 
up eventually again, and though the case never 
went into the law-courts it was thoroughly handled 
by Mr. James, Mr. Craven and Sir George Chet- 
wynd, who, with the help of Lord Bampton, who 
examined the stud-book and gave it as his opinion 
it showed so many errors that it could not be re- 
lied upon in any way, and that in his opinion "Bend'- 
Or" should remain the winner, this was the final 
finding of the Stewards. 



26o FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

In a quiet sort of way Lord Bampton was for 
years legal adviser to the Jockey Club. It was the 
popular impression at one time that he was a severe 
judge. He may have been, but he was a very pleas- 
ant companion, full of wit and humour. I must 
refer to him again later. 

I know that some years after the rumpus over 
"Bend'Or's" Derby, Mr. James Lowther said that 
additional facts which had subsequently come to his 
knowledge disposed him to think that the Stewards 
had come to a wrong decision, but it was of course 
too late to reopen the question. 

However, Mr. Brewer had his revenge, for in the 
following September "Robert the Devil" beat 
"Bend'Or" in the St. Leger at Doncaster. 

The Duke was a good deal upset over the Derby 
occurrence and, shortly after, sent twenty-three of 
his horses to Tattersalls, "Tadcaster" amongst 
them fetching only i6o guineas. 

While being a just and kind master the Duke did 
not throw his money about. Like others I have met 
he lived in the greatest luxury, spending huge sums 
on horses, racing, etc., but was most careful and 
economical in small matters and I seemed fated to 
catch him in the act of some of his little economies 
he did not care for the world to know. 

Once when I was taking a short cut through Sea- 
more Place from Park Lane to Grosvenor Square 
I met Lady Chesham in South Audley Street. It 
will be remembered she was a daughter of the Duke 
by his first wife. Suddenly from round the corner 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 261 

came the Duke with a brown paper parcel under his 
arm, which he at once tried to suppress. Naturally 
neither his daughter nor I made any remark about 
the parcel, but he was obviously uncomfortable and 
quickly left us. He continued his errand and we 
both laughed, for we knew quite well he was off to 
a little cobbler in Shepherd's Market to have his 
boots mended; he thought nobody knew anything 
about it, as very few did. 

I first made the discovery when one day I had 
been asked to go and see the old cobbler who was 
ill. He lived in a squalid little building, renting one 
room with a window looking on to the pavement, 
close to which he worked, and it was always open. 
He interviewed his customers through it. As I was 
coming out through a narrow passage, which was 
the exit, I came upon the Duke at the window claim- 
ing his mended shoes and paying the pence de- 
manded, I hastily turned my admiring gaze on the 
neighbouring telephone and telegraph wires at- 
tached to adjacent chimneys, as I knew it would be 
very gauche to see what was happening, but the 
Duke was upset and galloped away without wait- 
ing to have his footgear done up in paper properly. 
As he was hurrying along out fell one mended shoe 
with a plop upon the pavement. He picked it up 
looking furtively behind him, but had not gone more 
than a couple of yards further before the paper car- 
ried away entirely. I could not well efface myself 
entirely as the papei; had done, so went to the rescue 
and poked one shoe in one pocket and one in another 



262 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

as best we could. Entering into the game I offered 
to take them home with me, have them done up in a 
most scientific manner and sent home by one of my 
household ; but no ! he would not trust the shoes out 
of his sight and carried them off himself. He was 
a lean man and looked quite funny with bulging 
pockets. 

Lady Chesham often asked me to help her about 
her headgear; it was difficult to make her look 
smart for big occasions for she wore her hair cut 
short like a man's. This is comfortable and grand 
for hunting or any form of sport, but does not look 
well at Buckingham Palace garden parties and such- 
like entertainments. It always gives one rather the 
look of a horse laying his ears back. 

Another daughter of the Duke's was the Mar- 
chioness of Ormonde, and when his horse "Or- 
monde" won the Derby, Archer had attached to his 
yellow satin jacket a prettily worked little medallion 
said to have been worked by her. 



CHAPTER XIV 

The Late Earl of Guildford — Has a Difference with Civic 
Officials — Curious Racing Arrangements — A Scared 
Showman — Twelfth Earl of Winchelsea Makes Friends 
with Moses — Lord Bulwer Lytton — His Appearance — 
Work — And Treatment of his Wife — A Story of his 
Son — The Rev. E. Burnaby and the late Marquess of 
Exeter— A Primrose Ball— "The Ruffian"— Mr. Burn- 
aby Falls Out with Lord Kinnard — What they said— 
A Little Faux-pas in "The House" — Arthur Orton's 
Tichborne Signature — His Promises — Gives Himself 
Away — Mr. Hawkins Changes his Mind — Lord Bamp- 
ton in Court and on the Race-course — Lady Harbor- 
ough's Complacency — Mr. Burnaby at Longleat — Prays 
for Departed King — Guinea-pig Jack — An Exciting 
Drive — Lord Beaconsfield — In his Bath — His Wife's 
Advice — His Last Moments — His Rudeness — Mr. Con- 
ingsby Disraeli. 

IT is rather depressing to reflect on the number 
of kind and hospitable people v^ho have suffered 
financial distress, or at any rate lost more 
money than w^as convenient over racing combined 
with all its associations. 

The late Lord Guildford for one, the seventh earl, 
who died in December, 1885, the result of a hunt- 
ing accident, his horse catching his feet in a binder 
of a newly laid hedge, either in Somersetshire or 
Dorset, I forget which. 

263 



264 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

He was a rather headstrong, determined person 
with a quick temper, and once when he fell out with 
the Dover Racing Authorities, said he would never 
have anything more to do with them, and started a 
rival meeting of his own, which was held in the 
park at Waldershall, his place near Dover. 

The first meeting, to judge by the crowds attend- 
ing it, proved an enormous success from a sporting 
point of view, but financially it was a "big drop." 
He had a good deal of worry over the meeting alto- 
gether, not the least being in connection with the 
gipsies and caravaneers he had allowed into the 
park and whom he told he would never have on the 
place again. The expenses in connection with the 
making of the course, building stands, stables, etc., 
had been heavy, and the caravaneers had not been 
respectful of the outlay. 

The following year Lord Guildford determined 
he was going to do everything on his own lines, and 
be advised by nobody. He would make some money 
and have no nonsense. 

Train-loads of sporting people came from all 
parts, promising even a greater crowd than the pre- 
vious year, and amongst them a load or two of 
Welshers and other undesirables who had quite a 
good time. 

The Mayor of Dover, being of a Christian spirit 
and wishing to bury the hatchet, had come in his 
robes of office to the show; he was relieved of his 
watch. Sir George Chetwynd, who was acting as 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 265 

judge, lost a pocket-book containing interesting and 
valuable things besides money ! 

Sir George's sister had married Lord Guildford, 
and this meeting was to be quite a family affair. 
The butler even had been pressed into the service, 
and fastened into a box to collect the gate money. 

Feeling much impressed at the numbers in the 
stands and overflowing into the park Lord Guild- 
ford went to collect some of the enormous sum of 
money that must have been taken at the gate and 
remove it to a place of safety. 

With this object in view he went singing and 
whistling to himself en route to the gate and asked 
cheerily for the money, and was handed £3 los. 
There was a pause, his lordship being evidently de- 
prived of his breath for a time. After the money 
had been turned over in his hand a few times as 
though nothing of the kind had ever been seen by 
him before, breath returned, and Lord Guildford 
said, "What the — something — something do you 
mean? Look at all those people," waving his hand 
in the direction of the stands. "Oh!" replied the 
butler, "those are all the Press, you said I was to 
let them in free." 

More language followed, indicating he had ar- 
rived at the conclusion "races run in the 'family 
way' were no good," and the butler was a blither- 
ing idiot as well as a blood-shot fool or something 
like that. 

Strict orders were issued that no more "press" 
people were to be allowed through the gate. 



266 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

A number, however, I happen to know, found 
their way in through an undefended part of the 
park. 

Caravaneers were conspicuous by their absence 
this second year, and some one enquired why they 
had not asked permission to do a little business. 
The head showman replied, **Ask for permission! 
No fear, his lordship had said the year before that 

if ever they came again he would turn his dogs 

on to them, and passing the house a short time be- 
fore the second meeting they had seen that his lord- 
ship was in earnest for there as large as life were 

two b mastiffs painted up on a board hanging 

against the house as a warning." 

This is what the scared showman saw: 




The late Lord Winchester, the twelfth carl, was 
also very unfortunate with his racing. He used to 
live at Eastwell Park, now belonging to the Gerards, 
"but went broke." He was a great racing man 
and wit in the days of Lord George Bentinck, and 
married a relation of mine. 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 267 

In his hard-up days he was glad to accept the 
hospitahty of many people he had not known before 
his difficult times. Amongst these he became ac- 
quainted with a Mr. Beddington, a Jew, son of 
Moses, the inexpensive tailor who used to have a 
shop at the Oxford Street end of Museum Street, 
with a revolving window to show his goods to ad- 
vantage. Both Moses and his son had retired from 
business and bought a property called the Bedding- 
ton Estate, and there the idea had occurred to papa 
Moses that he might do well to change his name to 
that of Beddington. 

Young Beddington bought a yacht and was 
anxious to make friends with society. He therefore 
invited Lord Winchester to go a short cruise with 
him. On their return they put in at Ryde, and Lord 
Winchester, out of compliment, took him into the 
Royal Yacht Club. During the course of conversa- 
tion Lord Winchester said, "By the way, how came 
you to adopt the name of Beddington?" Receiving 
in reply, "Well, you see, my father being fond of 
the antique, purchased the ancient estate and 
changed his name at the same time." 

Lord Winchester exclaimed, "Great heavens, 
man, wasn't Moses ancient enough for him !" 

It is well perhaps for our peace of mind we do not 
see ourselves as others see us, yet it might be very 
wholesome. So many of the men who threw their 
money away on racing and betting thought they 
were being very fine fellows and cutting a great 



268 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

dash, while everybody was calling them fools be- 
hind their backs and laughing at them. 

How good it would have been for Bulwer Lytton 
to have seen himself as others saw him. He was 
before my time, but I have heard a great deal of 
him from those who knew him and his wife well, 
and his son was Viceroy in India when first I went 
out there. 

Bulwer Lytton went about looking much like a 
rag-and-bone man, his hair long and untidy, his 
face unshaven and dirty, his clothes tattered; it 
must have been difficult to believe he was the author 
of so many chefs-d'oeuvre of literature. His fea- 
tures, my people tell me, were remarkably fine, and 
could not be entirely hidden and spoilt by his untidy 
habits. He married a pretty Irish girl, which dis- 
pleased his mother, who had brought the property 
of Knebworth into the family, and she cut off sup- 
plies. He therefore found himself with about a 
couple of hundred a year and unable to live at the 
rate of less than £3000. I have been told this as 
much as anything turned him against his pretty 
and witty wife, and he determined to get rid of her, 
and I do not think it is generally known in what a 
disgraceful way he tried to do this. 

They had talked over the question of parting, 
and his wife agreed. He thereupon said, if she 
would attend at a certain house in Brook Street on 
a given day two solicitors would be there to discuss 
with her the questions of separation maintenance. 
On arriving in Brook Street she found the two 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 269 

"solicitors" were medical men prepared and en- 
gaged to certify her insane, and she was carried 
straight off to an asylum. Fortunately her own 
doctor, Roberts by name, who always attended her, 
got wind of this treatment, and immediately went 
to Lord Lytton and informed him that unless he at 
once gave immediate orders for his wife's release, 
all London should know the facts. She was at once 
released, but never forgave the insult. For many 
years she used to hang a widow's cap over her bed 
and called it her "liberty cap." 

I think if Lord Lytton had been able to see him- 
self as others, who knew of his disgraceful conduct, 
saw him, he would have felt chastened. The fact 
of his mother being annoyed over the marriage 
and stopping supplies, however, seems to have 
obliged him to work, and it is astonishing to see the 
list of books he wrote during this time. 

When he died at Torquay, in 1873, I ^^ told he 
looked so splendid in his coffin with clean shaven 
face his son hardly recognised him. After his burial 
in Westminster Abbey, the late Dean of West- 
minster preached a most eulogistic sermon refer- 
ring to the dead. Lady Lytton, remembering his 
treatment of her wrote to the Dean, presenting her 
compliments, saying, ''The Devil could not tell the 
truth when he was dead." 

Whether there was any difference between her 
and her Viceroy son I cannot say, but she refused 
to accept any income from him. 

There have been some quaint stories told of her 



270 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

son, one being that he had a habit of kicking under 
the table any lady he took into dinner, in conse- 
quence of which hostesses used to place a wooden 
box in a handy position to intercept the kicks. I 
never went in to dinner with Lord Lytton, so can- 
not speak from experience, but I find it difficult to 
believe, for though undoubtedly a person of moods, 
he was the soul of chivalry and courtesy. 

It is easy to acquire bad habits without being 
aware of them, and if perchance we are "stars," 
nobody dare tell us of them. 

Bulwer Lytton's wife was sparkling with Irish 
humour, always ready with repartee. Once when 
she was growing stout and panted for breath when 
going up the steps to the opera at Covent Garden, 
one of the gilded youths present said, "You want 
a change of horses, Lady Lytton." She replied, 
"I could get a change of asses on the spot." 

The late Marquess of Exeter (the fourth) was 
rather regardless of appearances, but he was wholly 
delightful and did not care the very least what any- 
body said or thought of him. He confessed that he 
was never more happy than when, owing to reduced 
circumstances, he decided to rent a place at Shank- 
lin in the Isle of Wight, and indulge in his favourite 
hobby of sea-fishing. He walked into the Castle 
and County Club one day in muffler, sweater and 
hob-nailed boots to the horror of the secretary, who 
did not know who he was and protested at "such 
a ruffian" being allowed in the club. He must have 
felt uncomfortable when told "the Ruffian" was 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 271 

the Commodore of the Royal Yacht Club at Ryde. 

The Rev. E. Burnaby, brother of Fred Burnaby, 
the Ride to Khiva man, was in the Isle of Wight 
at the same time as the Exeters, and, as he was 
trying to get up a Primrose ball, asked if he might 
add the names of the Marquess and Marchioness of 
Exeter to his list of patrons and was told, "If our 
poor names are any use you can have them, but we 
have no money." 

It is said that the Primrose League was founded 
in remembrance of Lord Beaconsfield's partiality 
for the flower, yet as a matter of fact he cared 
nothing for it, which Lady Dorothy Neville, at 
whose house the inaugurating meetings were held, 
was obliged to confess when asked on her word of 
honour if she had ever heard Dizzy express his re- 
gard for the primrose. Mr. Gladstone remarked 
he thought the gorgeous lily was more in his line 

The way primroses became connected with Lord 
Beaconsfield was through Queen Victoria, who had 
an admiration for him, sending him boxes of the 
little flowers gathered from the slopes of Windsor 
Castle or from Osborne, I forget which. Lord John 
Manners, who succeeded to the Dukedom and who 
was a member of Disraeli's Cabinet and formerly 
one of the young England party, took great inter- 
est in the Primrose League movement. Lord John 
it was who wrote those never-to-be-forgotten 
verses : 

"Let arts and commerce, laws and learning die, 
But leave us still our old nobility." 



272 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

When the present duke's uncle was owner of 
Belvoir, overlooking the Vale of Grantham, dinner 
used to be announced by the private band playing 
'The Roast Beef of Old England." 

A friend of mine was being taken into dinner 
there one night by a member of the French nobility, 
who asked what the tune was. She replied, "The 
Roast Frogs of Old France, out of compliment to 
you." He bridled with joy. 

Mr. Evelyn Burnaby, who is still with us, has 
had an interesting and full life, beginning with law, 
continuing in the Church (owing chiefly to there 
being a family living awaiting a Burnaby), varied 
with much hunting and endless social engagements 
and attached friends. He is clever, as all the Burn- 
abys have been, and is a kind friend. Like his 
brother Fred, when annoyed he can hit hard. He 
fell out once with the "Pious Fraud," the soubri- 
quet of the late Lord Kinnard. This was how it 
happened. Both were of one party looking on at 
a Lord Mayor's show. Mr. Burnaby had just come 
up from hunting in Leicestershire. During the fit- 
ful conversation indulged in on such occasions, Mr. 
Burnaby turned to Lord Kinnard and asked him if 
he thought he could get him the vacant stall at 
Westminster? Lord Kinnard replied it would not 
be possible as he heard Mr. Burnaby had been seen 
at Cremorne, adding, "You had better stay in your 
horse-box, to which you are more suited." 

This was throwing the gauntlet with a vengeance, 
and quickly picked up by Mr. Burnaby, who re- 




The Rev. Evelyn Burnaby 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 273 

plied, not much to the point stingingly, "I am 

not surprised you take such an interest in the 

Hospital, considering you help to fill it." 

Mr. Burnaby was generally to be seen in the dis- 
tinguished strangers' gallery when any important 
debate was on. He was a friend of old Denning, 
Chief of the House of Commons police, also of Mr, 
Inglefield, who is still, I believe, chief attendant in 
the Lobby. 

Denning it was who, as Tipstafifs in the old 
Queen's Bench Court at Westminster, conveyed the 
claimant to Newgate after he had been sentenced 
to fourteen years' penal servitude in the celebrated 
Tichborne case. 

Once when leaving the strangers' gallery, Mr. 
Burnaby accidentally put his foot into the hat of 
another visitor and was walking away with it on 
his toe when a plaintive voice behind him said, 
"When you have quite done spoiling my brand new 
hat will you please return it, as I can't afford a new 
one!" Poor Mr. Burnaby felt crushed when he 
became aware of his carelessness. 

Apropos the Tichborne trial, it is illuminating 
to see what can be done in the way of fraud. The 
letter I am reproducing from the original written 
by Arthur Orton is an excellent copy of the real 
Tichborne's writing. It must have required con- 
siderable practice before being able to write such 
a letter. I never saw the man, but my father, hav- 
ing been a barrister, and knowing counsel on both 
sides, took great interest in the case, and he said 



274 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

months must have been taken in perfecting the 
writing over which experts were divided in their 
opinions. 

The history of the letter was a dinner the Claim- 
ant gave when staying at the Waterloo Hotel, and 
the five pounds referred to was sent to the man 
who provided amusement for Sir Roger's guests. 

He was taught to shoot pigeons in the same way 
he was taught to write, and he lost a lot of money 
over it at Hendon, it being a fashionable amuse- 
ment at the time and a good way of advertising 
himself. 

The Welsh Harp at Hendon was a sort of subur- 
ban home for the Claimant. He spent a good deal 
of time there, promising all sorts of things to every- 
body when he came into the estates. One of his 
victims was the proprietor of the hotel, whose 
brother is still living at Kew, and he often laughs 
over the circumstances now, though at the time it 
was very serious when the Claimant went to prison, 
for so firmly had the proprietor believed in the man 
that he had built a new part to the hotel, which 
was christened the Tichborne wing and was to be 
paid for by Tichborne money. Warner was the 
name of the hotel-proprietor, and he firmly believed 
in the man until about the end of the civil trial, 
when he received a shock in rather a curious way. 

One day Warner was called away from the din- 
ner-table just when a large sirloin of beef had been 
put on it, so Sir Roger offered to carve for him 
during his absence. Before the proprietor could 










.-/^ , 




i lie Llaiinant's Letter, Taken truin the (Jrigmal 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 275 

get out of the room Sir Roger was sharpening his 
knife up and down the steel in such a workmanHke 
manner that it gave Warner a real fright and he 
was overheard to say as he was going downstairs, 
''By God, he is a butcher." Which is what Sir 
Henry Hawkins so ably proved him to be. 

His trial was the making of the then Mr. Henry 
Hawkins, later Lord Bampton. It may be remem- 
bered that Dr. Kenealy defended the claimant, his 
speech lasting from December 2nd to January 14th, 
in 1874. Henry Hawkins' reply lasting from 
January 15th to January 28th, Chief Justice Cock- 
burn summing up from January 29th to February 
25th. 

I should think this must have been one of the 
longest trials ever heard in the English Courts. 
The defending family won of course, Orton getting 
fourteen years with hard labour, but it cost the 
estate £92,000. 

It is a curious fact that during the earlier part of 
the hearing of the case, Mr. Hawkins firmly be- 
lieved in the Claimant, and expressed his views 
amongst some of his sporting friends, in conse- 
quence of which there was a good deal of betting 
on the Hawkins' opinion. Mr. Lambert, who had 
owned some successful horses, put some £500 on it, 
the betting then being about even. One day, how- 
ever, Mr. Lambert received a messenger from Mr. 
Hawkins, who had been told, ''Go and find Mr. 
Lambert and tell him if he had invested any money 
on my early opinion at once to get out of it, as I 



276 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

shall not only prove him an arrant fraud, but also 
that he is none other than Arthur Orton!" 

The advice v^as of course taken, and both Mr. 
Lambert and another friend were winners over the 
result. 

It was difficult to believe that Lord Bampton in 
the courts and Lord Bampton in the street or on 
the race-course were one and the same man. In 
the courts presenting a dignified appearance in wig 
and gown, his clear cut features, clean shaven face 
and quick eye, which seemed to collect evidence in 
a glance. On the heath at Newmarket, in a curious 
yellow tinted, black banded top. hat, dark blue pilot 
coat, snuff coloured tight fitting horsy pants and a 
rough ash plant stick, his loosely tied neckerchief 
flying out on either side of his face, giving the idea 
more of a horse-dealer than a legal luminary. 

Those who did not know him often wondered 
who on earth he could be, as he was to be seen talk- 
ing with all the celebrities, trainers and book- 
makers. Once when he was standing talking to 
the ever popular John Corlett, of The Sporting 
Times, otherwise known as the "Pink'un," the 
following conversation was overheard by a friend, 
from two men standing by. 

A. "I say, Bill, who's that funny looking old 
man over there talking to the master of the 
Pink'unr 

B. "Why, you ought to know, that's Hawkins, 
who gave you your 'time' when you were up at the 
Old Bailey." 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 2^7 

A. "S'truth, so it is, but don't he look different 
without his wig, oh my !" 

Lord Bampton used to bet a Httle, but never 
heavily. At one time, while still a Q.C, he was 
doing a little quiet betting with a bookmaker named 
Frank Lees, who for some time did not know the 
name of his client. The bookie remarked one day, 
"Oh! you win too often," or "you come too often 
for your money." To this Mr. Hawkins replied, 
"Never mind. Lees, if ever you get into trouble, 
you can come to me and I will get you out of it." 

Lord Bampton was rather amusing, and once 
when Fred Archer was giving evidence in the wit- 
ness-box, he with a very grave face asked, "And 
what is your Christian name?" The Court could 
not control its mirth. The judge used occasionally 
to send little jokes to Mr. Corlett for the Pink'un, 
and once when on circuit in the summer at Leicester 
something occurred which he thought would do 
nicely for the paper. Anything from Lord Bampton 
was accepted without enquiry or demur. Unfortu- 
nately the joke was omitted or lost and all that was 
received by the Pink'un was a note: 

"Dear Corlett, 

"The enclosed occurred here in court yester- 
day. I thought it would do for your front page. 

"Yours, 

"Henry Hawkins.'' 
"P.S. — It's very warm here. If it is hot for me 
what must it be for the prisoners." 



2.y^ FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

This tickled some of the readers nevertheless, 
as the judge was considered to be severe. 

Lord Bampton was a great friend of James Low- 
ther, and gave him the benefit of his legal know- 
ledge in connection with racing difficulties and the 
Jockey Club. 

I suppose Sir George Lewis was the most famous 
lawyer I ever met, or perhaps I should say the most 
successful I ever met, for he was not really a great 
lawyer, but was great in common sense. He was 
the man of whom it was stated that "he knew 
sufficient of every family to hang half London." 
He was staying at Scarborough once during one of 
their gay weeks when there happened to be rather 
an extra number of grass-widows disporting them- 
selves. Sir George was having quite a good time 
amongst them, and at a ball held in the Grand Hotel 
was one night prancing along to the "Holly Bush 
Polka" with a young lady of his own religious per- 
suasion, when some kind friend, wishing to be 
funny, said, "You will have them all as clients, Sir 
George." It had a very sobering effect on both the 
widows and Sir George. 

Well-bred people accept their husbands' infideli- 
ties with calm. The late Lady Harborough was a 
wonderful example of this, and in spite of some 
strange experiences with her first husband married 
a second time, the last being Major . 

Very little was seen of her during her first hus- 
band's lifetime; people used to say she was kept 
in captivity. During his earlier years Lord Har- 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 279 

borough had what the papers termed an "illicit 
attachment" with an actress, and two children were 
born. By the will of Lord Harborough the estate 
of Stapleford would go to one of these children 
after the demise of Lady Harborough. One of 
them, named Mr. Kennedy (for convenience), 
when he grew up came to preach one harvest festi- 
val at the church attended by Lady Harborough. 
He was somewhat dramatic in the pulpit. After 
the service the vicar asked Lady Harborough what 
she thought of the sermon. She replied quite pleas- 
antly, "He has inherited his mother's dramatic 
talent." 

Stapleford was one of the mansiofis the Prince 
of Wales viewed when looking for a home before 
he finally settled on Sandringham. Eventually the 
place passed into the possession of Mr. Hornsby, 
the Grantham agricultural implement maker, and 
I have been told that now on its portals there is a 
Latin inscription indicating that it was built by 
the Earl of Harborough in the fifteenth century, 
and completed by Jacob Hornsby in 18 — some- 
thing, I forget what. 

Thinking of sermons reminds me of when my 
friend, Mr. Evelyn Burnaby, was taking a service 
once at Longleat while on a visit to Lord and Lady 
Bath. He, being young and nervous at the time, 
inadvertently prayed for King George IV, and was 
teased about it in the drawing-room after church. 
He got out of it by saying it would not do any harm, 
it was a long time since anyone had prayed for him. 



28o FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

George the IV, by the way, was an intimate 
friend of Lord Erskine, who was leading counsel 
when Queen Caroline was prosecuted, and when 
passing through the park one day with His Majesty 
the latter noticed a new corps being trained. On 
hearing they were a corps of lawyers, he said, ''Call 
them the Devil's Own," which name is borne to 
this day. 

Longleat, the Bath's place, many people think, 
is spoilt by being built in a hollow. Personally, I 
prefer the hollow, but it has been suggested the 
adjacent hill known as Heaven's Gate would have 
greatly enhanced its beauty. 

Frequenters of Bath in the olden days will prob- 
ably remember Guinea Pig Jack, who stood on the 
road between the station and the town with his box 
of guinea pigs who performed tricks at their own- 
er's command. Here the Italian daily made them 
"Die for the Queen," and recover immediately on 
hearing 'The bobby's coming." I have been told 
the man made thousands of pounds in pence given 
to him and his pets by visitors to the city, and that 
a Roman Catholic priest advised him to part with 
it, and, being a Catholic, he meekly obeyed. So the 
poor little guinea pigs' daily tricks did not benefit 
their master much. Mr. Burnaby once asked Jack 
if he and his guinea pigs would be photographed 
with him. He consented for a fee of five shillings 
for the honour he was conferring on my friend. 

I never think of Bath without remembering an 
exciting drive I had coming home from there one 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 281 

day with a tipsy chaufifeur. It was a big powerful 
open car, and I was responsible for the well-being 
of some ladies I had invited to luncheon with me at 
the Empire Hotel. When we came out after lunch- 
eon I thought the chauffeur, who had been with us a 
year or two, was looking rather strange, so I asked 
him if he had got all the parcels I had sent to be 
put in the car. He leaned over and began counting, 
"Thershe one, thershe two," then with a silly smile 
and wag of his head, said, "thershe a good many." 
Evidently the young man had lunched. I had never 
known him make such a mistake, and he had 
driven the car up to the door of the hotel and turned 
it round safely, so it must be my fancy and, at any 
rate, he evidently could drive, but to make sure I 
asked him to turn the car round. This he did quite 
scientifically, so I decided we must venture. 

I had been making some rather extensive pur- 
chases for a party I was giving, and had a salmon, 
strawberries, melons and all sorts of things in the 
car. 

The moment we started off we flew at about sixty 
miles an hour, swishing round corners, between 
trams and pavements in a horrifying manner. Po- 
lice ran after us shouting, people stood still and 
stared. I knew it would be worse than useless to 
speak to the man as long as we were in the traffic. 
It would only mean a smash. After many squeaks 
and hairbreadth escapes we left the town and shout- 
ing policemen behind. I therefore suggested to the 
man he had better drive a little slower or we should 



282 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

be killing somebody. He replied, quite civilly, "Oh, 
yes," but continued at the same speed. 

Presently on the rather narrow road in front of 
us I saw a carrier's waggon crawling towards us, 
the driver evidently asleep inside. I thought there 
was nothing for it but an almighty smash, so 
planted my feet firmly that I might be shot clear. 
Instead of smashing into the waggon we darted 
down into a grassy ditch, and before we knew 
where we were found ourselves out again, past the 
waggon, and careering down the road once more. 
I thought every spring must be broken and could 
not imagine why we were not overturned during 
our journey in our exit out of the ditch, for we had 
been shot off our seats right into the air and down 
again. 

The salmon, strawberries and new felt shoes for 
the housemaids, to make them quiet in the morning, 
were dancing about together naked in the bottom 
of the car amongst our feet. The papers had all 
flown away, and so had our wraps. We had some 
very awkward corners to turn before we reached 
home, and at Wells an archway to go through and 
then turn short and sharp to the left close up against 
a big stone wall. I held my breath as we neared it. 
There was a grating noise of one wing against the 
wall as we went under the arch, and we balanced 
on two wheels rounding the corner, and then a 
fairly straight run home. 

A special Providence must have watched over 
us, for we all arrived safely, and I must allow that 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 283 

while the driving was highly dangerous it was 
masterly. We all got out, and I made no remark to 
the chauffeur until next day. When he came for 
orders I spoke like a father to him and said of 
course he could never hope to drive me or anybody 
else again. He said, "No." He knew he had taken 
too much and was truly thankful he had not killed 
us all. He then went away into the village, had 
another drink, and shot the owner of the public- 
house. I came to the conclusion we had come 
rather well out of our exciting drive, and truly 
thankful I had not attempted to argue with him 
while at the wheel. 

One of the regrets of my life has been not having 
seen Lord Beaconsfield in his bath, which sounds 
very indiscreet, but his devoted wife always said 
that "Anyone wishing to see a true specimen of 
manly beauty should see Dizzy in his bath." I 
ought to have done so out of politeness, and it would 
have made such an unending source of conversation 
between us! 

I think Lord Beaconsfield was fully alive to the 
fact that he owed much of his fame to the beautiful 
old Lady Sykes, of Basilden Park, Reading, who 
died at the age of one hundred years in 1844. She 
was known as "The Norfolk Centenarian Peeress." 
She introduced him to Lord Lyndhurst, and is sup- 
posed to be "Zenobia" in his novel. 

I think he also knew why she took so much in- 
terest in him and his career. 

It is not generally known, I believe, that Lord 



284 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

Beaconsfield in his last moments when under the 
care of Dr. Kidd, and with Lord Barrington in the 
room, raised himself in bed into the attitude he was 
known to adopt when about to address the House, 
and while, no doubt, mentally doing so, passed 
away. 

His (^evotion to his wife was touching. He once 
said to me that if there were more wives in the 
world like his it would be a happier place to live in, 
or words to that effect. She was a very careful 
person, looking after the crumbs and pence to a 
remarkable degree, for which he was grateful and 
proud of her thrift and carefulness as well as for 
her tender care of himself. 

I met his heir, Mr. Coningsby Disraeli, in Ireland 
when with the Ridgeways, and felt he was over- 
shadowed by the greatness of his uncle. It is so 
hard to be expected to live up even pictorially to 
the aloofness of the great! 

When annoyed Lord Beaconsfield was without 
doubt the rudest and worst mannered man I ever 
met, and I am glad I never came under the ban of 
his displeasure. 



CHAPTER XV 

Victor Hugo on our Judicial System — Sir Howard Vincent 
and Sir Fitzjames Stephen's Opinions — "Apple Pip 
Kelly" Goes to Make Love — Lord Chief Justice Tindal 
is Funny — A Bombay Official makes an Ass of Himself 
— A Prudish Man doing War Work — A Nurse Teases 
him — Poking Fun at Authorities and Result — A Youth- 
ful Bride in Zeppelin Raid — A Bigwig's Views on Duty 
— Chummy Canadians and their Colonel — A Puzzling 
Accent — General Sir Julian Byng on the Dardanelles 
Question — Mr. Labouchere Wanted — Mr. Gibson 
Bowles Busy in "The House." 

VICTOR HUGO did not consider our English 
judicial system as good as the French; he 
explained this once in Paris when in 1877 
a cause celebre was being heard in the Palais de 
Justice. The court was crowded with men and 
women, the latter attired in the latest creations of 
Worth. He expressed it as his opinion that our 
English system is litigious and not inquisitorial. 
The French trial is the final act, every circumstance 
has been investigated previously by a body of offi- 
cers and the accused examined by them privately. 
In England the judge hears the evidence for the 
first time and addresses the jury upon the facts as 
they have been proved in court. I was asking Sir 
Howard Vincent his views on this subject once. 

285 



286 ^URTHER INDISCRETIONS 

He said the French was undoubtedly the one by 
which to arrive at the truth but it would never be 
tolerated in England. The late Sir Fitzjames Ste- 
phens who presided at the trial of Mrs. Maybrick 
in 1887 also agreed that the French system was the 
best, considering the desired object was the truth, 
therefore the inquisitorial system, was bound to be 
the superior, but added that the great love of fair 
play that was our natural characteristic would pre- 
vent its ever being introduced into England. 

Victor Hugo was the only poet I ever met or 
heard of who was able to combine poetry and busi- 
ness. He was a ''cute" man of affairs, if I may 
use the slang expression, and what a wonderful 
but melancholy personality; I think he dreamed of 
tragedy, he certainly showed his taste in that line 
very early in life, being only fourteen when he 
composed and produced a tragedy, when. at that age 
he should not have known what the word meant. 
The thing that struck me most in conversation with 
him was his melancholy and entire absence of 
humour, but he was a genius and knew it. The 
worst of being a genius is they have to pay so dearly 
for it, the privilege is to sorrow more bitterly and 
torment themselves more utterly over matters they 
are powerless to control or alter, than falls to the 
lot of the ordinary everyday individual. 

Like Ruskin striving after the impossible, un- 
happy and discontented because he could not make 
the world the beautiful place he wished it to be, and 
could dimly see in his dreams. 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 287 

Carlyle's unhappiness took another form; he 
could not tolerate anyone greater than himself. But 
I must go back to the people of my own time. 

Sir Fitzroy Kelly, whom my father used to tell 
me about, called Apple-pip Kelly, in consequence 
of his having been counsel for Fawcett, the Quaker, 
tried for the murder of a man at Slough who had 
died from a dose of prussic acid. Sir Fitzroy made 
a powerful address to the jury suggesting the de- 
ceased might have died from apple pips which were 
known to contain the properties of prussic acid. 

It was an ingenious defence, but I fear did not 
save the Quaker. 

Kelly was a wonderful old man, for when his 
years were nigh four score he still liked to pay his 
addresses to the fair sex, whom he greatly admired. 
Unfortunately on one occasion when driving out 
from Lewis to say pretty things to a widow of his 
acquaintance his carriage was upset and he sat 
down in a puddle of water, which so cooled his ar- 
dour that he went home, returning no more to the 
comely widow. 

He had a habit latterly of falling asleep when 
the case he was hearing became dull. Once when 
trying a case involving the loss of a ship's cargo 
the chief baron was in a condition of somnolence. 
It so happened that he was a firm believer in the 
wholesomeness of dates and was particularly fond 
of them, and on Counsel mentioning the word dates, 
the judge awoke with a start, saying, "What did you 
say the ship contained?" "Dates" was the reply. 



288 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

"Most important," said the judge, grasping his pen 
to make notes, and slumbered no more. 

He succeeded Sir F. Pollock and was the last of 
the chiefs of the now obsolete court of Exchequer. 

Judges can really be very funny sometimes, 
though it behooves all present to laugh even if they 
only think they are. 

The following is quite neat, I think. 

Some years ago when Lady RoUo, on her hus- 
band's death refused to let the hounds go out, a 
sergeant-at-law asked Lord Chief Justice Tindal 
whether he thought there would be anything inde- 
corous in so doing, if each hound had a piece of 
crape round its neck or tail. 'T hardly think," said 
the judge, "that crape would be necessary, surely 
it would be sufficient if they were all in full cry." 

Even legal folk manage to make mistakes some- 
times, I have observed. A jovial Rivett Carnac 
cousin who was administrator-general in Bombay 
at one time was staying with us, and our dear old 
friend Sir Charles Lowther was dining amongst 
others. Though blind, his eyes, at least one of them, 
had a way of roving round, but this had not been 
noticed by the man from Bombay, and when asked 
to sing one of his comic songs for which he was 
famed he sat down to the piano and sang a silly 
thing with a chorus in which all were expected to 
join, something about 

"And one eye looked up at the ceiling 
The other looked down at the floor." 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 289 

Sir Charles clapped and encored, but we all felt 
uncomfortable, and I smiled the emotionless smile 
of kings and queens, my eyes not smiling at all. 

Conventionality dies an easy death in war time, 
and in consequence I have been amused many times. 
Naturally everybody worth their salt has wanted to 
do their bit. It so happened that practically every 
male that was sound, and some that were not in 
the neighbourhood of my home, had found some- 
thing useful to do shortly after war was declared 
with the exception of one man a little past mark of 
mouth and consumed with his own importance; he 
felt it looked odd his being left the sole unemployed 
male element in the place so wrote to the Military 
Authorities offering to do any work that would not 
take him far from home, as he could not really be 
spared, the estate (about 100 acres) and the village 
could not possibly be left without his guiding hand, 
he also kept a strict eye on the morals of the place, 
but he could spare a little time every day to cut 
bread and butter for soldiers or something useful 
of that kind. 

Various forms of usefulness were suggested but 
so many obliged him to be mixed up with women 
workers that he declined; he felt too shy and did 
not think it at all proper or nice! 

At last, from very shame, when he was asked to 
take night duty in a voluntary hospital near, he 
accepted it, without having quite grasped all the 
post entailed. There had been a good deal of 
joking amongst the nurses about this prudish per- 



290 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

son who fancied himself so enormously; he felt 
no woman nurse or otherwise could be near him 
without proposing to him or something worse, so 
they determined to give him a lesson. When he 
came on duty the first night a pretty nurse explained 
to him minutely his duties. All was going swim- 
mingly until she said "and in case of emergency 
you must come and awake me, I am always so tired 
I sleep very heavily." 

Night Nurse. "But hum — er — ^how do I call 
you? do I knock at your door, and which is your 
door? Oh, really! — I think that would be a mis- 
take — would not do at all." 

Day Nurse. "No?" (sweetly, with head on one 
side). "Why not?" 

Night Nurse. "Well — oh — er — don't you see er 
— it might — er — lead to — er — really this is very 
awkward, to {in desperation) misinterpretation." 

Day Nurse. Cheerfully, "Oh, well we can't help 
that, can we?" She began to move away, calling 
back, "Don't forget to call me well, your only 
chance really of awaking me is to pull me out of bed 
by my legs !" 

Night Nurse. Pale and trembling, muttered to 
himself, "This will never do — impossible situation, 
never be able to hold my head up again — what will 
people think — and say! I must find the head doctor 
and make some other arrangement," and he did. 

Another rather sporting married man of a certain 
age, wished to be useful and wrote to the War 
Office saying he had been accustomed to hunting 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 291 

all his life and the handling of horses if there was 
anything in that line he could do ? Then in a weak 
moment he poked some fun, or what he thought 
fun, at the Government officials by saying he was 
A.I. at managing mules. 

In consequence of which before he was much 
older he found himself responsible for hundreds of 
biting and bickering mules at the front and wished 
himself dead. 

There has been much marriage and giving in 
marriage since the outbreak of war. One of the 
victims, though a willing one, has been a very 
young friend of mine just out of the schoolroom 
and rather bonny. A naval man spirited her away, 
and put her in lodgings at a place on the South- 
East coast where he could see his bride occasionally. 

Being absurdly young, bright and nice-looking 
everybody was kind to her, and when there was a 
Zeppelin raid over the town where she was staying 
many were the people who flew to protect her. She 
had not been long in bed one night when the bomb- 
ing began, window panes and roofs were flying 
about in every direction. The landlady was the 
first to dash into her room, pull her out of bed and 
hustle her down the stairs to some safer place, she 
met several people on the way to save her, others 
went to her room to find her flown. A frantic mes- 
senger came from her husband saying the only 
safe place was with her face to an inner wall and 
a corner for choice, she was therefore hustled into 
a dark corner on the stairs with her face to the wall. 



292 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

Not having been allowed any voice in the matter 
she now plaintively suggested she was chilly with 
bare feet and only her silk night garments, but she 
told me it was not much use complaining as all 
the people who had come to save her were attired 
in her things, the landlady was in her dressing- 
gown, her slippers on another, a third her great 
coat, a fourth her eiderdown, etc., and the poor little 
bride had nothing left in the way of wraps. 

This war, so dramatic in achievement and so 
vital in all its bearings, has obliged many of us to 
alter some of our preconceived ideas, we are shaken 
to our foundation, hardly now knowing what we 
believe to be right and what wrong. 

I was talking to one of our present-day soldiers 
about this not long ago and chiding him mildly for 
his change of front on certain points, conscription 
being one. Once he did not see the necessity of it 
for the English people, but has now of course 
changed his views. When I asked him how he 
reconciled his mind to the various changes, his an- 
swer struck me as worth considering. He said, "You 
must not forget I am a paid servant of the Crown, 
and so long as I am that my own private views have 
nothing to do with my work, and must not appear 
in it. I am there to do as I am told, to carry out 
the views and instructions of my employers. If one 
master employing me says, 'Let us scuttle out of 
Egypt and abandon those we have led into danger,' 
I abandon them, and scuttle, doing all in my power 
to facilitate the scuttling. Another employer may 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 293 

say, 'At all costs we must hold Egypt and rescue 
those who are holding their lives in their hands and 
waiting for us,' here again I endeavour to carry out 
my orders, but I do not consider myself the 
weather-cock you seem to imply that I am. I am 
obeying orders, my opinion is not asked, and if it 
was my advice vv^ould probably not be taken. My 
first duty lies in unquestioning obedience. If I 
found that I could not keep my own views under 
proper control I should no longer be of any use to 
either party and should most certainly chuck it." 

These views are perhaps what may be expected 
from the old army reared in red tape and forbidden 
to think or have views of their own, but it is very 
wonderful that the new army who three years ago, 
and some only a few months ago, were doing mental 
arithmetic with pens behind their ears in the city 
or measuring out yards of silk to lady customers 
and bamboozling them on to its properties and 
worth, should fall into line as if they had been all 
their lives at the game. Yet we hear little of insub- 
ordination. The old order hath changed neverthe- 
less in more ways than one, which was bound to be 
the case with mixed cosmopolitan crowds of sol- 
diers. For instance, a relation of mine out at the 
front heard a Canadian Colonel addressing his men 
prior to an inspection from the King, Lord Kitch- 
ener or some such bigwig, he was imploring them 
not to call him "Sammy" before the chiefs. 

At first the accent of the Canadians and Austra- 
lians puzzled me; I am growing used to it now, 



294 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

but acclimatised as I am becoming I was rather 
upset a while ago at being asked if I had noticed 
some fine lice on the altar-cloth in a certain church, 
in time I gathered it was the lace being referred to 
by my Australian friend. 

General, now Field-Marshal, Lord French was 
always a very keen and dashing cavalryman, he, 
to use a latter-day expression, was fairly ''putting 
the wind up" the Somerset Yeomanry during one 
of their annual trainings years ago when he went 
down to inspect them. 

It was in the good old dreamy pre-war days, 
when the few who could be tempted into joining the 
irregular forces felt they were really being very 
decent to their country about it and were sometimes 
rather insistent that this should be borne in mind 
during their time in camp. Many of these staunch 
yeomen were hunting farmers mounted on their 
own useful horses, but there were others who sel- 
dom, if ever, crossed a horse at any other time and 
were on hirelings, so that military evolutions car- 
ried out at a faster pace than a slow trot were a 
matter of the utmost delicacy and not to be lightly 
undertaken. 

When the day of General French's inspection 
arrived, the Yeomen turned out, a blaze of splen- 
dour, and all went famously until the General 
wanted them to do a "charge." Anxious to oblige 
him, they charged in the restrained manner they 
had found to be the most desirable, especially as 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 295 

tHey were crossing country they did not know very 
well. 

The impetuous General French, however, was not 
satisfied and galloped after the squadron shouting, 
'Taster ! faster ! ! Gallop ! gallop ! !" 

Stung to frenzy by his shouts, the doomed 
squadron flung all discretion to the winds, and 
really let themselves go, with terrible results. All 
vestige of formation was lost, while an ever-thick- 
ening trail of equipment and fallen yeomen was left 
in the wake. 

When this uncontrolled living avalanche had 
reached its wildest point, a sunken fence suddenly 
yawned before them, representing a drop of at least 
four feet. The first ranks strove madly to stem 
the tide, but those behind drove them blindly for- 
ward. Really, the horrors of the Balaclava charge 
paled before this story! 

By this time none but the most consummate had 
more than one foot in the stirrup, and those who 
had not fallen off, passionately envied those who 
had. On they charged, and met their doom over 
the sunken fence. Some jumped it with their 
horses, others without; a few slid in. 

It was too terrible to watch, for it looked as if 
there had been a severe battle, the far side of the 
fence littered with fallen warriors and their horses. 
The air was thick with deep and agitated voices 
swearing before Heaven they had done with soldier- 
ing for ever; some of the horses had come to the 
same conclusion. 



296 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

After it was all over General French spoke 
honeyed words to them, even referred tactfully to 
the little matter of the sunken fence which he had 
not noticed when he ordered ''the charge." There 
were a good many resignations all the same ! 

One yeoman told me he could never hear the 
tune the band played that day without breaking out 
into a perspiration. 

Music really plays a large part in our lives, much 
larger than many of us are aware of. Under its 
influence we become heroes and heroines in imagi- 
nation, and who can say it does not at times make 
us so in reality. Think of the dear old street organ 
that we paid to go away, why? Because it played 
tricks with our memories and emotions which we 
could not face. Then scent, another powerful 
messenger, — ^but I must not stray from my yeoman, 
for really he ought to have had a medal after sur- 
viving such an ordeal, but it was before the days of 
"the monkey and the goat," which I hear is what 
C.M.G. stands for. Perhaps he agreed with Sir 
Robert Peel that the distinction of being without 
an honour is becoming a rare and honourable one, 
but then Sir Robert was thinking and speaking of 
the hunters after titles and honours, of which we 
hear so much to-day, ready to pay large sums into 
the party funds, the amount being regulated by the 
honour conferred. As far as our soldiers and 
sailors are concerned to-day, it seems as if all had 
deserved medals for bravery. 

In these stressful times, when we walk about 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 297 

metaphorically with our hands on our hearts and a 
great dread in our brains, it takes very little to 
make us laugh, which sounds paradoxical, but is a 
living fact, one's nerves are at high tension, both 
laughter and tears are very near the surface. On 
this account all were much amused when a trifling 
contretemps occurred to poor Lord Breadalbane 
during the early part of the war when taking a 
party of the Grenadier Guards to shoot at Byfleet. 
They had to change trains and cross a bridge at 
East Ham, West Ham or some such place, I have 
forgotten the name of the station. It had been rain- 
ing and the platform was slippery. 

Everybody had turned out to admire the beauties, 
who perfectly understood the amount of attention 
they were attracting. The nursery maids and 
errand boys left and forgot their babies and parcels 
to get a better view of the clanking soldiers cross- 
ing the bridge with chests thrown out and a would- 
be detached expression. 

Suddenly, when all had negotiated the slippery 
steps satisfactorily and were forming up ready for 
the next train the hob-nails in Lord Breadalbane's 
boots played him a dirty trick and with a mighty 
splutter he fell flat on his face in front of his men 
and the admiring crowd. The clatter was stupend- 
ous, it seemed almost impossible one man, even if 
tall and lean, could make so much noise. His sword 
flew out of its scabbard and executed a ''fox trot" 
all by itself, his ammunition-bag sat on his head 
wrong side up, cunning drinking-cups and field 



298 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

glasses hobnobbed in an out-of-the-way corner, 
head gear fell over the platform on to the line. It 
has taken some time to describe the scene, but it all 
happened so quickly it was difficult to guess exactly 
what was taking place, no one looking more utterly 
bewildered than the men, who with protruding eyes 
of horror and open mouthed from shock continued 
doing goose step, marking time until the command- 
ing officer was right side up again. Unfortunately 
the moment he was rearranged and preparing to 
give words of command in a huffy ruffled manner 
another side slip sent him flat on his back. 

The first fall had occasioned ejaculations of "Oh, 
my, 'ope 'e 'asn't hurt 'isself" from the nursery- 
maids, but when the second acrobatic evolution 
took place there were shrieks of laughter from the 
gallery, on the bridge and the other side of the sta- 
tion. It was a silly little thing to make us laugh 
but I have laughed for less at well-performed pan- 
tomimic displays. 

The faces of the men were such studies, the first 
disaster and clatter disconcerted them, but the 
second really frightened them, they had never seen 
any account in their drill-books of what was the 
correct thing to do under the circumstances. The 
only person who saw nothing funny about it at all 
was poor Lord Breadalbane. 

I begin to feel quite ancient when I think of 
General the Hon. Sir Julian Byng, who has done 
so well in this war, as I first saw him with the tenth 
Hussars at Lucknow. 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 299 

I have been refreshing my memory of what he 
was like in those days by looking at a photograph 
I have of him taken at that time in a group. In 
those days he was a very junior subaltern, shy and 
retiring, but gave one the impression of being like 
the sailors parrot "thinking the more." 

A good many years have passed over our heads 
since then and the shy and retiring youth has 
blossomed out into a general with a witty and 
forcible vocabulary. 

When Lord Kitchener consulted him as to what 
was the best to be done at the Dardanelles, in 
November, 19 15, his answer is worth recording, it 
was so true. "Either," he said, "we must get on, or 
get out," — hereby putting the problem in a nutshell. 
A very high and mighty person who seldom allows 
himself any freedom of speech was talking to me 
about this a very short time ago and he said, "Byng 
was right. Had the Government been able to make 
up its mind they must 'get on,' and had they sent 
the wherewithal the war would have been over in 
the early summer of this year, but they could not, 
therefore the only alternative was to 'get out,' but 
for a long time they could not even harden their 
hearts to do that." 

I miss the cynical and drastic pen of Mr. Labou- 
chere. No one has arisen to walk in his footsteps 
with the same daring disregard for consequences 
and personages, no one has the courage of his con- 
victions to quite the same extent. How much more 



300 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

he would have told us of the little whispers we hear 
from the front ! 

Mr. Gibson Bowles, judging by a letter he wrote 
a short time ago, is "fighting all parties in the House 
of Commons in the interests of the State." Perhaps 
he has his eye on a few little things that want look- 
ing into. I have known him speak some home- 
truths at times. In days gone by when he, Fred 
Burnaby and a friend owned Vanity Fair, I remem- 
ber some of his remarks were not always flattering. 

On one occasion when the mother of a well- 
known baronet gave a ball, the following week 
Vanity Fair held a paragraph saying, "The liquor 
was not of the highest order, as it much resembled 
gooseberry wine." This, if he had been one of the 
guests was not good taste, but quite possibly he 
wrote from information received. The hostess' 
son said he intended inflicting summary castigation 
on Mr. Bowles's latter end. Fred Burnaby said, 
"What will he care, he's told that every day." 



CHAPTER XVI 

Some Celebrated Women — Lady Ely, Lady Molesworth 
and Skittles — The Prince of Wales — Lady Molesworth 
and Paddy Green at Evans' Supper Rooms — A Row in 
the Quom Country — Skittles has the Last Word — Bel- 
gravian Mother's Lament — Lady Stamford, Girton, and 
Robert Peck — Lady Cardigan is Surprising — Mrs. Pos- 
tlethwait and Her Friends — Mr. Gladstone and Beacons- 
field — She Gives him the Kiss of Peace — No Old Ladies 
— Sad Memories — Three First Class Misdemeanants — 
Holloway Jail — Flora Annie Steel and Helen Mathers — 
Their Writings — A Dunce or Two — Different Etiquettes 
— The Rev. Evelyn Bumaby and Mrs, White Melville — 
He Prescribes for Her. 

COLONEL FRED BURNABY used to say 
the three grand dames of his generation 
were Jane Lady Ely, Lady Waldegrave, 
and Lady Molesworth, widow of Sir William 
Molesworth of Pencarrow, Cornwall, mathemati- 
cian, philosopher, and at one time Secretary of 
State for the Colonies. 

Lady Molesworth was a remarkable and highly 
talented woman. Talent, no matter in what form, 
and that illusive undefinable quality we call charm, 
for want of some better definition, are undoubtedly 
great factors in life, and always make themselves 
felt. Take, for example, two characters of dia- 
metrically opposite temperaments reigning at the 

301 



302 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

same period, both gathering in a rich harvest of 
admirers — Lady Molesworth and the notorious 
"Skittles," I do not know her real name, and can 
find none who do, though plenty who remember her 
well. Both these women started life in the streets, 
the former as a musician, the latter with a basket 
of oranges and watercress at the top of Sloane 
Street. Lady Molesworth became the leader of all 
that was best in society of her day, the friend of 
kings and queens, and holding political salons of 
importance. The notorious "Skittles," with the 
face of an innocent child, became the most famous 
charmer of male hearts in England, a byword in the 
shires as well as London. 

Both were dazzling successes in widely different 
ways. I think everyone will admit that nothing 
but talent that rose above all handicaps could have 
enabled Lady Molesworth to win and hold, as she 
did to the end of her days, such a position as she 
made for herself. 

People are prone to underestimate the talents of 
the "Skittles" of every generation. They say, "Oh, 
that sort of success is easy enough for a pretty 
woman by those methods!" But is it? I think 
not. That is a great mistake. If it were true what 
crowds would make themselves rich in the social 
history of the times. I maintain there must have 
been real talent in "Skittles" besides good looks 
and easy ways. 

The careers of both these interesting women are 
worth a passing thought. Lady Molesworth was 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 303 

a Miss Carstairs, and when trundling her organ in 
the streets of London attracted the attention of 
Mr. Temple West of Mathon Lodge, Worcester- 
shire. It was a case of love at first sight, and 
honourable love. He took her under his wing, had 
her educated, and married her. That her education 
was not wasted she amply proved later in life. At 
the death of Mr. Temple West, who left her well 
provided for, she married Sir William, Molesworth. 
There is little doubt she made both men happy, and 
they left her considerable fortunes. Sir William 
died in 1858. She survived until 1888, dying rich 
and respected. 

Her time was spent between Pencarrow and 
Eaton Place, her house being the last at the corner 
of the south-west side. To be asked to stay at 
Pencarrow was like getting the "Blue Riband" of 
society. 

At the time I married she was no longer young, 
but still a leader of fashion, giving recherche din- 
ners and entertaining royalty, much envied of many 
of the blue-blooded. 

She was supposed to have a marvellous cook, and 
judging by her dinners she certainly had, but I have 
been told by someone who ought to know that these 
dinners were cooked by a charwoman called in for 
the purpose. It seems incredible, but here again it 
may have been a case of talent making itself felt, 
and there may have been family reasons why the 
char-lady was unable to maintain the high position 
her talent deserved. 



304 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

It is surprising that no life or memoirs of Lady 
Molesworth have been written, for from a social 
point of view her knowledge of society and her 
power in the political world were greater than that 
of, say, Lady Dorothy Nevill. In Lady Molesworth 
we see a woman who appealed to all that was best 
in men, their honour and chivalry. 

She was a very kind woman, but had the "selec- 
tive" and "exclusive" instinct strongly developed, 
and she was not to be "got at" easily by ordinary 
society. To struggling musicians she was especially 
kind, ready at all times with a helping hand, re- 
membering, no doubt, her early years. 

Charles Dickens was to have dined with her the 
week he died at Gadshill. 

She was an exceedingly clever and delightful 
woman. The Prince of Wales (King Edward VII) 
admired her, and found her excellent company. 
Once when she was in a box with him at Evan's 
Supper Rooms, Paddy Green, the old "walker- 
round," who used to wander from table to table 
greeting the visitors all as "dear fellahs !" with his 
green silk handkerchief and snuff-box, went up to 
her and claimed acquaintance, reminding her of the 
days when they had been on the stage together, and 
from his pocket produced an orange play bill, on 
which their names appeared. Quite naturally she 
said, "Show it to his Royal Highness, Paddy," and 
he did so. She seemed quite amused and pleased 
about it. 

Providence had bestowed upon "Skittles" an 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 305 

entirely different temperament from that of Lady 
Molesworth, and she graduated from the top of 
Sloane Street to the Panton Street crowd, Cre- 
morne, and the well-known places of amusement. 
From there to a beautiful home of her own, that is 
to say, it was occupied by her, and into the shires 
where she hunted with the pick and flower of the 
land. Who taught her to ride I do not know, but I 
do know who introduced her to the shires, and I 
have heard much and often of her deeds and 
prowess there. There was also the echo of a famous 
rumpus she occasioned there fifty-five years ago 
when out with the Quorn, at the time Lord Stam- 
ford, the seventh earl, was the master. Naturally 
I was not there, but friends who were said there 
was a terrible scene. 

"Skittles," mounted on some of the finest hunters 
money could buy, chosen for her by one of the 
friends responsible for her presence in the field, 
had for weeks been wiping the eyes of all the women 
out hunting, and a good many of the men. One 
day she hailed Lady Stamford, the wife of the 
master, as an old acquaintance of Cremorne. No 
notice was taken of the salutations, so "Skittles," 
emboldened by her triumph and success, again ad- 
dressed the master's wife, who had been recognised 
by society and much liked. 

Lady Stamford then complained to a whip to rid 
her of the presence of so objectionable a person, and 
"Skittles" was askecl to "move on," but flatly de- 
clined to do anything of the kind. The master was 



3o6 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

appealed to and asked to take the hounds home. 
This he was reluctant to do, feeling that the hunting 
field was open to all who cared to support it, but he 
said that if "Skittles" made herself objectionable 
to other women in the field he would be obliged to 
ask her not to come out, and if she did he must 
take the hounds home. The particular friends of 
"Skittles" then begged her to go home for the day 
and thus restore peace. To this she eventually 
agreed, but not before enjoying the last word, which 
was shouted for all to hear. 

"All right, you fellows, I'll go. I won't spoil 
your sport, but what the hell is the good of Lady 
Stamford giving herself such airs? She is not the 
head of the profession, and never will be. Lady 

is the head of our profession ! Good morning, 

gentlemen." 

A friend tells me that she looked as if butter 
would not melt in her mouth, but the vocabulary 
she used on the occasion was surprising to those 
who did not know her well, or who had not seen 
her displeased before. 

I have gathered that "Skittles," the leading reme 
de la main gauche of her time, was very pretty and 
owned a beautiful figure. The photographs I have 
seen of her certainly verify this. 

How the name of "Skittles" attached itself to her 
I do not know; there have been several versions of 
the story, but she was the original "Anonyma" of 
the "Belgravian Mother's Lament" in The Times, 
which in course of time expanded into a social 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 307 

phase. These society mothers wrote to one paper 
deploring the "degrading taste of the jeunesse dore 
of the period," noting the "disgusting and de- 
praved" way they thronged at the park raihngs to 
see Anonyma during her usual parade down the 
Ladies' Mile with some of her beautiful ponies, 
while the virtuous daughters of Belgravia stood 
neglected in the background, practically wiped out 
of the picture by the popularity of the London 
lassie. 

I have been told, but with what truth I cannot 
say, that this clever little woman later in life mar- 
ried one of her long-suffering and deeply attached 
swains, who had been in attendance for some years, 
but that they separated very shortly after the tying 
of the knot. 

Lady Stamford made a splendid wife and was a 
most benevolent woman. After her husband's 
death she took interest in horse-breeding and in 
selling her yearlings. She was well-known at New- 
market and, in later years, often seen there, still 
retaining some of her youthful good looks with the 
added grace of a sweet and good expression and 
lovely snow-white hair. 

The poor around her old home at Enville in 
Staffordshire loved her. It was her husband's 
favourite place, and it was there he took her soon 
after their honeymoon. 

It was reported after Lord Stamford's death that 
his widow was about to marry Robert Peck, the 
first trainer to the Duke of Westminster. They 



3o8 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

would have made a good-looking couple, but per- 
haps it was only one of Girton's stories, the one- 
time valet to Mr. Qiristopher Sykes. Before he 
started his hotel he said Robert Peck had seriously 
contemplated the marriage and had asked him 
(Girton) to be manager of their household affairs, 
adding he could put ^'Robert" up to a thing or two. 
This I can quite imagine. I have always been under 
the impression that his servants had quite as much 
to do with ruining Mr. Sykes as his guests. Every- 
thing was carried out on such exceedingly generous 
lines and so many dependants filled their pockets 
while Mr. Sykes' were emptying. 

The marriage did not take place, however. Gir- 
ton started his hotel — and later Mr. Robert Peck 
married someone else. 

Lady Cardigan, who was a Miss de Horsey, was 
certainly a highly entertaining woman, but owned 
the most bitter tongue. There were, of course, 
reasons why she felt bitter, but that is an old story 
and well known. When she was entertaining me 
with astounding racy stories, I always felt I had 
only to wait long enough and I should be brought 
into her list. The moment she was piqued with 
anybody she appeared to remember some astonish- 
ing stories about them. It would be difficult to 
make a list of any length of well-known people 
whose names she left in peace. Her black list 
ranged from our royalties, against whom she was 
intensely bitter, to Cardinal Vaughan, of whom she 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 309 

said some very pithy but very naughty things, prob- 
ably children of her own imagination. 

Neither Lady Cardigan nor Lady Stamford were 
ever presented at Court. The former was going to 
be and all was arranged even to the dress, but an 
order was issued cancelling the introduction. She 
felt this very much and was an embittered woman 
ever after. 

Once w^hen she and I believe "Skittles" also, 
were guests at a special dinner given by some mem- 
bers of the extra smart and fast set, Lord Cardigan, 
the hero of Balaclava, was responding to the toast 
of his health and making some reference to the 
Light Brigade charge when his wife placed cannons 
to the right of them and cannons to the left of them 
by loudly declaring her noble lord had never been 
in the charge at all. However, much must be for- 
given a woman who has spoilt her own life, and felt 
all men's hands were against her. Occasionally 
really good and kind-hearted folk, when hurt, say 
things they do not mean. 

The last time I saw Lady Cardigan she must, I 
think, have been doing the "post-impressionist" 
business, for she was driving down Piccadilly in 
orange hair and an emerald green coat. 

Mrs. Postlethwaite was another lady of consider- 
able notoriety in my early days. She was very 
beautiful. Every shop window was full of her 
pictures. I heard men rave about her. Then one 
fine day her husband unkindly refused to pay for 
her lovely clothes, and the shock turned her into a 



3IO FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

religious enthusiast! She had religious meetings 
at her five o'clock teas and gave "the kiss of peace" 
to her old friends, Mr. Gladstone receiving one I 
know, and many others who wished to share her 
religious enthusiasm. Disraeli and Gladstone were 
both favourites in the race and waxed wrath with 
one another over her. 

I feel that not to mention these ladies who played 
so large a part in the history of the years I have 
lived in would be a mistake. No one is all good, 
no one all bad, and all these women were undoubt- 
edly clever. 

"In men whom men condemn as ill 
I find so much of goodness still ; 
In men whom men esteem divine, 
I find so much of sin and blot, 
I hesitate to draw the line 
Between two men when God does not." 

Life is a huge puzzle, but each piece is meant to 
fit into its place, and will do so in spite of all our 
failings. If we were all virtues or all vices we 
should cease to be interesting. It is those who live 
in spasms between the two that interest us and fire 
our hearts. 

It is not really necessary for a woman to be beau- 
tiful to be attractive. There are not many irretriev- 
ably plain women. It rests a good deal with them- 
selves. Antoine Berrager, the French Advocate, 
who considered himself rather a judge, said, "There 
are no ugly women, only there are women who do 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 311 

not know how to look pretty." There is comfort in 
the thought! Some day I shall have to write an 
essay on "Voluntary Ugliness" when I have time, 
for a happy face has a beauty all its own. 

The present-day fashion of there being no old 
ladies is rather nice, I think. They no longer en- 
velop themselves in dowdy black cloaks and mantles 
with bonnets tied under their chins. Instead of 
this, we find them with their bonny grey hair nicely 
dressed in the fashion of the moment, wearing 
smart hats with wobbly ospreys, frisky little coats 
and skirts with regiments of dear little buttons, 
pretty shoes and big buckles, and then their figures ! 
Is it that they have renounced the good things of 
the flesh-pots, or is it that they now allow their 
figures to be natural, I wonder? Whatever it is, 
it is pleasing. 

Some stories of the past are like dear old songs 
to be softly sung, for once they were tender, very 
tender, and now are fragile with age. A few of 
these are to-day drifting through my memory 
and making me feel sad. There was poor, fragile, 
witty and emotional Mrs. Grant of Glenmoriston, 
whom I remember as Miss Davidson, dancing at 
Inverness during the gaieties of the "Northern 
Meeting" in 1886 or 1887, just before she was mar- 
ried. She and her husband were utterly unsuited 
to one another, but she was not very happy at home, 
she told me, although "my man is fond of me and 
says I may have my own way in everything." But 



312 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

that was not all she wanted and did not satisfy 
her. 

One day what I feared would happen came to 
pass. She came in to see me and told me that the 
man she loved so dearly was to be made happy, she 
was going to run away with him, and she did. Her 
husband behaved splendidly and followed her to 
Paris to try and persuade her to return to him, but 
it was no use. She asked him to set her free, and 
he did. The moment it was possible, her lover 
married her on June 26th, 1894, and she died on 
July 22nd the same year, pitifully short-lived hap- 
piness after the long struggle with herself as to 
whether she would or would not, could or could not. 
How true it is that we all have to suffer for our 
mistakes and pay for our happiness in this world, 
and yet what do I mean by this world? There are 
so many; we all create our own. 

The little blind god "love" plays very cruel tricks 
with us, and in charity we must all bear in mind : 

"And to love or not, we are no more free 
Than a ripple to rise and leave the sea." 

It is only when our nerve cells are acting in unity 
that we are really sane and at our best. 

I have a huge pity for those who lose the loves 
of their life, whether the world has approved or 
disapproved, for it is a time when life stands sus- 
pended and motionless. 

I saw a good deal of the third Duke of Suther- 
land's first wife, who was a favourite of Queen 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 313 

Victoria's; her last years were unhappy. There 
was some scandal about her husband's affections 
for Mrs. Blair, who became his second wife. 

The Duchess used to be a good deal in Torquay, 
and was a regular attendant at St. Mary's Church, 
and was usually dressed in white. Queen Victoria 
never forgave the Duke for not coming back from 
America to his wife when she was dying. She was 
very High Church, and the Duke's sympathies did 
not lie in that direction, which caused a good deal 
of unhappiness. The Duke was deeply attached to 
his second wife, and when he died left her a mil- 
lion pounds sterling. She later spent six months in 
Holloway jail for contempt of Court, Sir Francis 
Jeune having ordered her to destroy certain letters, 
if I remember correctly, which she declined to do. 

Colonel Milman was governor of the prison at 
the time, and he said he much disliked having first 
class misdemeanants under his care, who arrived in 
their own carriages and furnished their own apart- 
ments from Maples as did the Duchess. Mr. Yates, 
of The World, was also there for libel, and Lord 
Russell for bigamy, so he had a dose of his pet 
aversions. 

I have observed that a man who is not happily 
married generally lets the world know all about it 
and craves sympathy. A woman more often ex- 
cuses what she cannot justify, and keeps silence 
over what she cannot cover or forgive. Poor Mrs. 
Carlyle was an illustration; she tried to justify her 
husband to his critics. 



314 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

How little we really know of the minds of even 
our most intimate friends, though their faces are 
photographed on our brains, until we read their 
writing, then we discover we have only known the 
garments in which they clothed themselves, the rest 
has been a sealed book. This was brought home 
to me particularly when I read Flora Annie Steel's 
first book. When I knew her in India I never 
dreamed she was a thinker and so deeply interested 
in the lives of the people of the country, as her 
books have proved her to be. When she came to see 
me in town on our return to England and told me 
she was writing a book, I did not feel deeply inter- 
ested and said, "How clever of you," or something 
insipid like that, and when I read the book I realised 
how very little I had really known her. But even 
then I should never have guessed she would be a 
suffragette of the militant brand. 

Mrs. Reeves (Helen Mathers) is more like her 
writing, or I should say that her writing is more 
like her. She is very bright, clever and amusing, a 
thorough woman of the world, and enjoys every- 
thing which one gathers to a certain extent from 
her writing. 

Lately I have come to the conclusion there are a 
number of people who cannot spell. I am not very 
brilliant in that line myself, so must speak circum- 
spectly. In the days of spelling-bees my sister left 
me hopelessly in the lurch. But I am not quite so 
bad as some of my friends. An Oxford young man, 
now in the army, writing to me a short time ago 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 315 

explaining his financial difficulties, said, "And God 
only nose what I shall do next." After reading 
that I thought there might be some truth in the 
statement. 

Another young man of my acquaintance who is 
perhaps not blessed with a superabundance of brains 
had some papers to fill, in connection with military 
work. He made such a jumble of it that another 
document was sent to him saying, will you please 
simply answer the following questions, "Yes" or 
"no." Then followed the list. The answers that 
were in the affirmative he answered thus: 

"Yess." 

"Yess." 

I should have felt sorry for him if he had felt in 
any way depressed at his lack of orthography, but 
it troubled him not at all. He was of a happy na- 
ture and a great big over-grown-schoolboy sort of 
man who apparently enjoyed every minute of his 
life, and such trifles as spelling were not going to 
upset him. But he will spell no more. He has been 
swallowed up in this Armageddon, and now if he 
could only write and say he was well and happy, if 
every word was misspelt I would never even tell 
him of it. 

The knowledge of etiquette requires even more 
careful mastering than spelling and takes a lifetime 
to learn. To begin with, every Court has its own 
etiquette, and the arranging of who is to sit next 
who, and which has to take in which, when you have 
a few foreign royalties mixed up with English ones, 



3i6 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

and a sprinkling of native princes and their wives 
to arrange in proper precedence, is apt to lead to 
serious attacks of neuralgia. 

An American millionaire's wife, who was renting 
a beautiful villa on the shores of the tideless Medi- 
terranean, settled the question of precedence rather 
neatly at one of her parties. She was not very well 
versed in the ways of society, and sent all the ladies 
in to dinner according to their ages. There were 
four baronets' wives amongst others. Two of the 
husbands were Nova Scotia baronets, while the 
other two held titles from the time of King James. 
None of these good people were able to enjoy their 
dinner or be agreeable under such circumstances. 

It is hard to remember everybody's little preju- 
dices; not to talk of beer when dining with brewers, 
to adapt one's speech so as not to hurt the suscepti- 
bilities of those we employ and so on. 

For instance, it is an insult to ask a man or a maid 
at a servants' party if their programme is full, 
especially if it happens to be before supper. They 
hasten to tell you that they have had nothing but 
lemonade and a sandwich. 

The wife of a well-known peer had been giving 
a servants' ball, and the following day when attend- 
ing to household matters came across the kitchen- 
maid and said to her: 

*T hope, Margaret, that you enjoyed yourself last 
night?" 

"No, my lady, I was very much upset." 

^"I am sorry to hear that. What was the cause ?" 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 317 

"His lordship asked me to dance, and I was en- 
gaged to Mr. Jones (the valet)." 

"Oh well, I hope you enjoyed your supper." 

"Yes, my lady, thank you. I had salmon, turkey, 
tipsy cake and wine." 

"That's right; you had a good stomach full!" 

"I know what you mean my lady, but I {in in- 
jured tones) never heard it called that before!" 

It is difficult to please some people. 

Mr. Evelyn Burnaby, brother of my old friend, 
Colonel Fred Burnaby, was once staying with Lady 
William Graham, and was asked to take Mrs. White 
Melville in to dinner. He found she had little in 
common with her distinguished and popular hus- 
band. Nevertheless, after trying a variety of sub- 
jects they got on famously. After dinner Lady 
William asked him how he had got on with Mrs. 
White Melville, as many people found her difficult 
to talk to, saying, "What had you in common?" 
"Flatulence," he replied briefly, "and I prescribed 
peppermint!" 

Mr. Burnaby agrees with White Melville in that 
we shall meet again the animals who have been our 
faithful companions here. 

I was at a large garden party just before the war 
broke out. The host is a dear old man of over three 
score years and ten, and very short-sighted. He 
was shaking hands with us all as we entered and 
trying to say something kind to everyone. When it 
came to my turn to be greeted he said in a cheerful 
voice, "Oh how do you do, so pleased to see you» 



3i8 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

and how are all the little ones." This somewhat 
upset my friends behind me, who knew my little 
one was six feet three inches, but I was not going to 
upset the dear old man, so passed on, replying, 
"They are wonderfully well considering they are 
teething." 

I was abused later by the friends, who were com- 
ing on just behind me, as they said I had so upset 
their equanimity by my nonsense that they had 
laughed in our host's face, he, of course, having no 
idea of the joke. 

I was once asked by an old friend, who had seen 
fit to marry his housekeeper, and who wished to 
introduce her to society by giving a ball if I would 
"See him through." I said with pleasure, but 
would have nothing to do with the sending out of 
the invitations. He must take that responsibility 
upon his own shoulders. I would do my best with 
the rest. That party will remain in my memory to 
the end of my days. My difficulties began when I 
was asked to supervise his wife's dress for the oc- 
casion. He had presented her with some beautiful 
diamonds, all of which she was going to wear. So 
far so good, but she said she must wear her gold 
chain round her neck as well, with the locket sur- 
rounded by her mother's hair. I had to give in, her 
disappointment was so great at being deprived of it. 
Then, in addition to this ornament, amongst her 
diamonds she insisted on wearing in the middle of 
her ample bosom a brooch resembling the top of a 
sardine tin. 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 319 

Neither the host nor hostess had the least idea 
of catering for a number, and were horrified at my 
extravagance. Now I always rather pride myself 
on my powers in this direction, having been doing it 
more or less all my life. I knew I had allowed 
enough, but not more than was wise. My feelings 
can better be imagined than described when in the 
middle of the evening the host came and told me in 
agitated voice that the champagne had come to an 
end, and that there was quite a shortage of pro- 
visions. I could not believe what I was told, for I 
had viewed the supper-table before I went to dress, 
and it was laden with good things, 

I hastily dispatched urgent messages to the near- 
est hotel to bring more champagne, and then went 
to make enquiries into the matter. I did not quite 
understand the butler's manner and was coming to 
the conclusion he had something to do with the 
shortage, when I saw one of his understudies burst- 
ing with laughter trying to hide himself behind a 
door. I then became firm, and it appeared that 
while I was resting before the great event, ex- 
hausted by the many arguments I had to have over 
the arrangements, the lady of the house, shocked 
at what she considered my extravagance, had moved 
various dishes, as well as a number of bottles of 
champagne, and hidden them; she had been hard 
at work at it for about an hour. 

I felt really angry. 



CHAPTER XVII 

General Macbean and His Royal Playmates — A Sporting 
Essex Baronet and a Neighbouring Peer — A Difference 
of Opinion — Uninvited Wedding Guests — Shopping Un- 
der Difficulties — Mr. Graham Gilmour — Some of His 
Prophecies — How they were Fulfilled — In Trouble with 
the Aero Club — A Clergyman's Curious Attitude — A 
Fatal Accident — Trophy-laden Officers — Women Chauf- 
feurines — Their Work, Food, and Some Experiences — 
A Changed World — H.H. Prince Alexis Dolgorouki and 
His Bride — A Dolgorouki for the Russian Throne — 
Prince Charlie at Braemar Castle. 

THE present General Forbes Macbean, late 
92nd Gordon Highlanders, was a playmate 
of mine when a child. We used to save up 
our money and send beautiful valentines to one an- 
other. 

The General's father had, likewise, been in the 
92nd and commanded it, but latterly he spent a 
great deal of time at Darmstadt with his family. 
Princess Alice being kind to and fond of them all. 
Thus it came about that my old friend, the present 
General, used to spend some of his holidays in 
Germany, his playmates being the Royal children. 

A short time ago I wanted a photograph of the 
ex-Tsarina when she was a child, and asked General 
Macbean if he would lend me one of his. He re- 

320 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 321 

plied, "They have all found their way into the waste- 
paper basket long ago !" I suppose that represents 
the feeling of us all just now, and I think this war 
is making us all rather irritable. 

A certain well-known sporting baronet who 
speaks his mind straight, hits straight, and plays 
the game fairly and squarely, has been feeling an- 
noyed for some time with a peer owning land in 
the same country. He considers that his neighbour 
shirked his duty during the South African War 
and is doing the same now. He therefore ex- 
plained his views to the peer by letter, stating plain- 
ly he considered him ''untruthful and a shirker." 
No notice was taken of this letter, so the peer was 
asked if he was going to take any notice of the in- 
sult. The answer was, "No." He was then asked 
if he would give satisfaction to the baronet. Again 
he declined. It so happened that in the middle of 
these delicate proceedings the peer married, not long 
ago, and the baronet sent him a wedding present 
of a white feather done up in cotton-wool and on 
his visiting-card wrote, "To Lord . . . liar, shirker 
and coward, a disgrace to the House of Lords and 
to Knighthood." 

Still no notice was taken. 

Since then another letter has been dispatched ex- 
plaining still more fully the baronet's feelings, 
winding up with, "You appear to have commenced 
life as a cry baby, and now you have arrived at 
man's estate you do not seem to have improved. 
Show this letter to your brother officers if you dare, 



322 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

you lying cur." Rather plain speaking! I wonder 
what will happen! 

Writing of weddings reminds me that my French 
dressmaker some years ago told me she attended 
most of the big weddings and receptions in London. 
I said I supposed her customers sent her invita- 
tions, and how kind and thoughtful of them. She 
replied, ''Oh, no, they do not often do that, but I 
like to go and see the dresses. I just give my card 
and walk in. It only wants a little assurance, no- 
body ever makes a fuss." On the contrary I gath- 
ered that gentlemen were very kind to her, gave her 
champagne and good things to eat as well as show- 
ing her the presents, in fact she had a good time 
generally. Perhaps being a smart bright little 
woman had something to do with this. She spoke 
broken English very prettily. 

That anybody should be able to walk into our 
houses in that way without the least difficulty ex- 
plained certain happenings that had puzzled me. 
My dressmaker was a superior body and quite above 
suspicion in the way of honesty, but if one person 
can do things of that kind without question, others 
can, and no doubt that is what happened at Sir 
John Ardagh's wedding when some of the presents 
disappeared. It is rather wonderful people are as 
honest as they usually are considering what oppor- 
tunities they have. 

I remember an experience of my own once at 
Gorringes in Buckingham Palace Road during the 
summer sale. I had come up from Brighton for 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 323 

the day, and was trying to buy a soft washing hat 
for my baby before catching the return train. I 
could find nobody to attend to me so wandered 
about, opened drawers, turned over the things until 
I came upon what I wanted. I then held it out to 
first one and then another saying I wished to buy 
it, would they be good enough to make out a bill 
tell me the cost or do something in the matter, but, 
no, they all pushed past me saying "Serving!" 
Growing weary of rebuff upstairs, I wandered down 
with the hat on my arm suspended by its strings. 
Here I met a shopwalker and tried to explain the 
case, but was told he was too busy to attend to me. 

Finally in despair I walked out of the shop into 
Victoria Station and by train to Brighton with the 
hat in my hand entirely innocent of any paper or 
wrappings. Next day I sent the ticket, covered 
with shop hieroglyphics, from off the hat, by post, 
to Gorringe explaining what had happened. I re- 
ceived a polite reply and the bill which was settled 
by return, and all was well. If I could walk away 
with a hat swinging on my arm what could other 
people have done if so inclined? 

One Christmas much the same sort of thing oc- 
curred at Harrods. The attendants were over- 
taxed by the crush of people, and weary, I could get 
no one to attend to me, so picked up the book I 
wanted in that department, also a basket of pears 
from the fruit stall and walked away with both 
held protestingly in my hands, keeping a roving 
eye on the lookout to catch any unhunted assistant. 



324 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

I had arrived at the door when I caught the eye of 
a "walker" whom I had known for many years. I 
explained the circumstances to him, he kindly gal- 
loped off, had the things done up, and returned in 
a surprisingly short time, saying, "That is all right, 
thank you, madam." Had I not come across my 
old friend I should have had to repeat my Gorringe 
experience. 

All these things happened before the war. Of 
course, now we put up with inconvenience in every 
form without a murmur, though the inefficiency of 
some of the people who have been pressed into the 
service of even the most superior emporiums, is 
highly trying. I find the best chance is to do one's 
business through the post. 

The present time air-raids and bombing recalls 
to my mind a prophecy of poor Mr. Graham Gil- 
mour, the man whose name will go down to posterity 
as the first to fly an aeroplane over London, and 
who met his death on February 17th, 1912, as near- 
ly as I can remember. He had been to a dance in 
our house shortly before the accident and when say- 
ing "Good-bye" with the usual pretty things about 
having had a good time, I told him he must be sure 
and come to my next dance. With a grip of my 
hand and a cheery laugh he said, "Thank you, 
I should love it, but I shall be smashed up long be- 
fore then." 

All too swiftly his prophecy came true. Other 
prophecies of his, related and explained to me in 
19 1 2, have come true. At that time flying was 




Mr. Graham Oilmour 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 325 

still looked upon more or less by the Government as 
"flying in the face of Providence" and met with 
scanty encouragement. Mr. Gilmour told me he so 
earnestly wished he could impress upon the author- 
ities the great importance of aviation as recognised 
by the French and Germans. He had been laughed 
at when he explained he knew as a matter of fact 
that the Germans had already made their plans, 
prepared for the moment when hostilities should 
commence. 

Mr. Graham Gilmour told me almost word for 
word what had been arranged and would happen, 
exactly as it has done, the number of Zeppelins it 
had been arranged to send over from Germany at a 
time, their engine and horse power, and bomb 
carrying facilities. He predicted they would have 
to be abandoned in favour of more suitable ma- 
chines, and many other details I had better not 
mention. He also told me the three centres that 
they would chiefly, and firstly, aim at. Every word 
has proved true. The three centres he mentioned 
have now been brought to the notice of the authori- 
ties though rather late in the day. 

He was an enthusiastic admirer of Sir George 
White, the first baronet, of Bristol, who established 
the earliest manufactory of aeroplanes in England, 
and introduced the Bristol biplanes and monoplanes 
in 1910, encouraged only by patriotism and busi- 
ness acumen, being thwarted often in his endeavours 
to be ''fore-armed." 

Mr. Gilmour worked for some time as pilot in- 



326 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

structor in Sir George White's Bristol Company, 
and told me he regarded Sir George as the most 
patriotic and best business man of the day. 

I was one day talking to my friend about the 
risks he ran when flying; he said he was perfectly 
aware that he carried his life in his hands every 
time he went up, but death was not a thing he 
dreaded, and he hoped when his time came nobody 
would wear black, he would like all who cared for 
him to wear red, purple and yellow or some cheer- 
ful colours. I noticed whenever he mounted his 
machine a sort of nervousness in his movements, 
and yet that does not truly describe what I mean. 
It was more the look and movements of the highly 
strung. A sort of, "I am wound up and ready to 
meet my fate" attitude. 

He had expressed a wish that when the smash 
came he felt so certain was coming, that the ma- 
chine he was using at the time should be copied in 
model on his tombstone with a brief notice saying 
how he met his death. 

This was being arranged when I received a letter 
telling me the clergyman of the parish objected to 
anything of the kind in his churchyard. It seems 
incredible, small wonder the clergy have lost their 
hold on the people. 

One of the heads of the aviation department, no, 
I don't mean that, I mean one of the really learned 
men in the practice and science of flying, who from 
A to Z knew the art of building and piloting all 
the chief machines of the day, recently told me he 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 327 

considered Mr. Douglas Graham Gilmour's efforts 
had materially and prominently raised British avia- 
tion to its present position; adding, "His name must 
ever figure in the early front ranks. As a pilot he 
was invaluable and in the educational work Gil- 
mour played a part second to none, his services have 
been of inestimable value in the advance of the 
great cause." 

I have heard Mr. Gilmour's flying criticised on 
the score of undue recklessness. Certainly a han- 
kering after the sensational was one of his charac- 
teristics, but it never to my knowledge merged into 
the foolhardy. It was exactly this spectacular ele- 
ment in his piloting that was the compelling attrac- 
tion to the people. 

He was born at Dartford in 1885, and educated 
at Clifton. At an early age he became interested 
in the automobile industry, gaining a name for him- 
self as a driver of racing cars and motor-cycles. 
In January, 19 10, he went to Pau, where he joined 
the Bleriot school, gained his pilot's certificate num- 
ber seventy-five, issued by the Aero Club of France, 
with exceptional facility on April 19th of that year. 

On his return to England his first flight was 
nearly his last, for the tail of his Anzani-engined 
Bleriot when flying at Brooklands grazed a tele- 
graph wire which brought the machine headlong 
to earth. 

Happily he escaped almost uninjured. He gave 
me a piece of the wrecked machine and showed me 



328 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

the map that was strapped on to his knees when 
the accident befell him. 

Several successful and some sensational flights 
were brought off after this. It was after he had 
joined the Bristol Company and was flying one of 
their machines that he skimmed the Regatta Course 
at Henley, which led to an enquiry by the Royal 
Aero Club and to the suspension of his certificate 
for a month. An unfortunate controversy followed 
which need not be raked up again. 

Death came to him when trying a machine. He 
left Brooklands at 1 1 130 that fateful Saturday 
morning saying he would be back in an hour, which 
looked as if he did not mean to go far, yet he had 
reached Richmond and the river when his machine 
was seen to be descending into the Old Deer Park. 
Rapidly the descent became excessively steep and 
ended in a vertical dive. 

The monoplane struck the ground full on its nose 
and turned completely over. 

What caused the accident is still a mystery; I 
am by no means sure in my own mind that he did 
not turn faint, he had complained once or twice of 
having felt queer when at certain altitudes. Others 
think he was caught in an eddy resulting in one 
wing giving way, but no one really knows. The 
accident robbed the country of one of its most bril- 
liant and promising pilots. He loved his profes- 
sion and was always cheery. Many mourned him 
sincerely. 

Had he lived to see his German and aviation 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 329 

prophecies come true, he would without doubt have 
been holding now some post of importance. He 
was very practical, a fatalist, and possessed that 
most valuable asset, a mathematical mind. He 
thoroughly appreciated the value of the "pilot's" 
work. It is the pilot, and the pilot alone who has 
brought home to the great public the possibilities 
of aviation and given some insight into its im- 
measurable future. In fact the general public opin- 
ion to-day, so far as aviation is concerned, is far 
in advance of what we are pleased to call official 
opinion, as exemplified in high government places. 

"Those whom the Gods love die young," is an 
old proverb that has come back to my mind very 
many times during the last few years. 

Some may think this applies only to innocent little 
children who leave us before the world has stained 
their garments. I lean to a different rendering, 
may it not be those whose hearts are young; there 
are some who never grow old no matter the years 
that have passed over their heads. 

What a sight it is now to see the boat trains come 
in, such a mixture of tears and laughter, "By-your- 
leave please," chatter and fuss. 

The number of trophy-laden warriors amuse me, 
carrying scalps, I was going to say, but I mean hel- 
mets, weapons and German et ceteras. 

A big six-foot-three relation of mine, coming 
home from the front a while ago, who disliked 
carrying about dead men's paraphernalia, was con- 
gratulating himself on not being burdened as some 



330 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

of his brother officers were with all these things, and 
wondering if the joy of them, was worth the worry 
they were causing their bearers, my relation having 
brought home with him nothing but one historic 
button and ruined health. 

When he arrived at Victoria Station he stepped 
out feeling very pleased with himself at not hav- 
ing to wrestle with helmets, rifles, gas-helmets and 
heaven knows what besides, when a man rushed up 
to him threw an armful or two of his trophies at 
him saying, "Hold this a minute for me like a good 
chap," and disappeared to greet relations and hunt 
up luggage. 

Here was drama, here was tragedy, the very 
thing he had avoided thrust upon him, nothing was 
going to persuade him to walk about laden with the 
things, he could not well "chuck them down" 
which was his inclination, he waited awhile but not 
then seeing the rightful owner, he charged up to 
another man who unfortunately for him had empty 
arms and thrust them all on him saying, "Hold 
them a minute will you like a good chap," and hast- 
ily decamped, hoping the things might in time be 
claimed and the second victim relieved. 

I have a number of friends, widows, wives and 
bachelor-women, out at the front driving cars and 
ambulances. The Marquise de Belleroche writing a 
short time ago gave an amusing though pitiful ac- 
count of some of her work. She is a bonny, slight, 
small woman who used to drive her own cars over 
here before the war, and is quite an experienced 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 331 

aeronaut. She said, for herself she did not mind 
wading about in seas of mud that came up with the 
wind hke waves on the seashore, but was sorry for 
the wounded she was driving when for hours she 
was held up lying on her back in the mud under the 
car trying to repair the damage caused during its 
passage through a shell-hole big enough to bury 
the lot of them. 

There is a good deal of excitement attached to it 
all. Another friend writes to me saying she has 
been driving a full-blown General full speed some- 
where, anothe;; day a heavy ambulance waggon 
laden with men to be most carefully driven to save 
them pain. 

The bachelor-women of to-day are having a good 
time, being useful, occupied, and experiencing prob- 
ably fewer of the pin-pricks so disconcerting to most 
of us. 

It is a very true old saying that we cannot walk 
with the procession and look out of the window. 
It has fallen to my lot lately to look out of the 
window, and I see an entirely new world, an upside- 
down and topsy-turveydom world, in consequence 
of the war. I do not think some of the tremendous 
consequences are fully realised yet. The very 
foundations of the old social fabric are being 
shaken. No one who has been in a position to 
watch what is going on can fail to see that there 
has been a great social upheaval. 

Restraint and discretion have been thrown to the 
winds in the face of the tremendous sacrifices de- 



332 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

manded of us daily and hourly. Yet it is not sur- 
prising when people who love one another are con- 
stantly being parted with the unspoken though 
ever-present knowledge that the chances are ten to 
one they will ever meet again. 

It would be strange if the great stresses of the 
war had not affected the structure of convention 
which seemed so solid but is in truth so fragile. We 
must recognise everything is changed and the world 
will never be the same again. We say to ourselves 
to-day is ours, who knows what the morrow will 
bring We will live to-day 

As I look back at the faces I remember in July, 
19 14, and again at the same faces to-day, I realise 
what this war has done to all of us, the strain of 
fighting under unparalleled conditions, the strain of 
waiting, the pain of parting, all marked indelibly 
on every face and every brow. Even those who 
have no near relatives at the front have aged years 
with the horrors of it all. 

To women the world is especially changed: the 
opportunity they have been waiting for has arrived 
and they are showing their metal. The men who 
gibed at the women saying they would not stick to 
their work and generally underrated their capabili- 
ties and powers of endurance must now have come 
to the conclusion they overrated their own intelli- 
gence. 

We women have wandered long in an artificial 
world of pretence, where national affairs were al- 
ways left to the men. Many of us have been busy 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 333 

certainly with the Httle things that matter so much 
and for which we receive no credit and little thanks, 
but at last it is recognised that we are not all dolls, 
we have come into our own, and mean to keep it; 
the opportunity has presented itself and been em- 
braced. 

Look, for instance, at the real hard work our 
women are doing as "chauffeurines," as the French 
people call them; many gentlewoman have left lux- 
urious homes to go out and do their bit, driving 
big heavy ambulances (without wind-screens, for 
they are not allowed), changing as many as four or 
five heavy tires in a day single handed, keeping 
their car in proper working order and ready for 
the daily inspection. In return for all this work, 
driving night as well as day when needed, they 
receive a private's pay and rations, having to pro- 
vide their own kit with the exception of the leather 
greatcoat. 

Our pre-war day chauffeurs, who had several 
pounds a week in wages and a washer to clean their 
car for them, and who lived on the fat of the land, 
would have given up their situations if they had 
been called upon to do such work. 

One of my friends, who is an attractive person, 
was a short time ago driving an ambulance full of 
men suffering from shell-shock. The orderly who 
was in charge addressed her through the window 
that divides the driver from her passengers asking 
her if she would try and keep her head as far away 



334 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

from, the window as possible as "the men are very 
lovish, and I cannot answer for them!" 

Nobody seems surprised at anything now. Think, 
oh think of waitresses in the Athenaeum Club! 
And then the omnibus conductresses who, I am 
told, help to balance themselves while collecting 
fares by seizing the hair of the nearest man who 
politely says, in answer to her laughing apologies. 
"Oh, don't mention it pray," or "Granted." Even, 
"Do it again, I like it." 

When moving about the world now it is necessary 
to take one's bearings afresh. 

One of my she-male relatives has been nursing 
at the Russian front under shell fire and having a 
most exciting time. She was much impressed with 
the patience of the wounded and dying. When the 
orderlies began to prepare them for their graves 
before they are dead, they acquiesce uncomplain- 
ingly — anxious to save trouble and time. 

The Russian situation fills me with breathless ex- 
pectation and wonderment. I say to myself is this 
evolution or revolution? In a measure I am glad 
H. H. Prince Alexis Dolgorouki did not live to see 
his beloved country in its present ferment, and yet 
he always longed for its freedom and would have 
been profoundly interested in her efforts. The 
Dolgoroukis are a Russian family of considerable 
aristocratic and political fame, having been on the 
throne years before the Romanoffs were heard of. 
The present General Korniloff's programme to-day 
is to place one of them on the throne again. I be- 




H. H. Prince Alexis Dolgorouki 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 335 

lieve the member of the family they have in their 
minds is Prince Pierre Dolgorouki of the Moscow 
branch. They own large properties and coal mines 
in the Government of Ekaterinoslav, though nat- 
urally they do not get much from them at present, 
or from their estates in the Crimea. 

Prince Alexis's eldest brother generally repre- 
sented the Tsar at big functions, such as King Ed- 
ward's coronation, the Queen of Spain's marriage, 
the christening of the Queen of Rumania's child 
and so forth. My friend. Prince Alexis, was the 
third son of the Prince Dolgorouki, who was Secre- 
tary of State and Privy Seal to the Emperor Alex- 
ander II of Russia. One of the family, a Prince 
Dolgorouki, I forget which, was Governor-General 
of Moscow for twenty odd years. He died at the 
age of eighty, having served under three Tsars. 
He was a veritable martinet, his word being law. 
All respected, though many feared him. 

They were a very handsome family. Sir H. 
Rumbolt in his memories speaks of them as the 
handsomest family he ever saw. 

Prince Alexis certainly shared the good looks of 
his two elder brothers and sister. He was tall, being 
over six feet; a very fascinating man, witty and 
amusing, wrote poetry, played the piano, one of 
those gifted people unable to stick to anything long. 
The daughter of his eldest brother married Prince 
Dietrichstein, a cousin of Queen Victoria, but un- 
fortunately an Austrian. 

The Cross of St. George was awarded to Prince 



336 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

Alexis during the Russo-Turkish war. Knowing 
English well, he acted as interpreter for Archibald 
Forbes, and Mr. Villiers sent a sketch of him 
mounted on his grey Arab to the Graphic. When 
the Prince married an English woman Mr. Villiers 
sent the original sketch to Princess Alexis as a wed- 
ding present. 

When first the Dolgoroukis went to Braemar 
Castle, where they spent most of the autumns, they 
found interesting documents relating to the time 
when a Dolgorouki delivered important papers to 
Prince Charles. 

Prince Alexis married in 1898 Miss Fleetwood 
Wilson, only child and great heiress of Mr. Fleet- 
wood Wilson of Wappenham Manor, Northamp- 
tonshire. I knew her for some years before she 
married. 

My first introduction to her father came about 
in rather a curious manner. We had let our house 
in Park Lane to the late Sir Mountstuart Grant 
Dufif and his wife while we rented for a few weeks 
a house in Sloane Street. One day when I came in 
I was informed some game had come for me. I 
asked who had sent it and was told there was no 
label on it, but a hare and a brace of partridges had 
been delivered by somebody's coachman. I thought 
no more about it, having come to the conclusion 
some of my people had sent it. A couple of days 
later I was informed that a gentleman had called 
to ask if some game had been left by mistake. I 
wondered if perchance it was the game that had no 






' i 




f ^. 



/, 



If 



H. H. Princess Alexis Dolgorouki 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 337 

label, so sent word to ask the enquirer to come in 
and see me. It was Mr. Fleetwood Wilson, rather 
ruffled and angry. Fortunately the game was still 
untouched, and I had it brought up. He said when 
he sent it there was a label attached, addressed, if 
my memory serves me rightly, to the Hon. Mrs. 
Adderly, and there was a hare and two brace of 
partridges. Poor man, he was much perplexed. 
The game had certainly been left at the wrong 
house, was not the amount he sent out, and had lost 
its label. Either his coachman, whom he had em- 
ployed for many years and valued, had been telling 
him tally-diddles, or I was doing so. He could 
not believe it was the coachman and did not like 
to think I was the culprit. 

As I grew a little firm, he said, "Do you mean, 
madam, that my coachman has been telling me 
lies?" 

I replied, "It seems painfully like it!" 

He grunted to himself, wished me good day and 
departed. By this time I was feeling a little ruffled 
also, but could not help laughing. It was so funny, 
the angry old man standing one side of the game 
pointing at it, while I sat the other declining any 
responsibility or culpability in the matter. Not 
very long after this I met him at a dinner-party. 
He asked to be introduced and we made friends. 

The Dolgoroukis were not rich latterly, and I 
have always understood they had spent freely on 
their country. 

I am glad that in the new Russian flag the double 



338 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

eagle is to remain, as that was Russian before the 
Romanoffs. The Dolgoroukis have it on their coat 
of arms. 

The Alexis Dolgoroukis gave delightful parties, 
both being sociably inclined and most hospitable. 
Princess Alexis spends a good deal of her time 
abroad now, but before the war entertained through- 
out the year at Braemar Castle, 46 Upper Gros- 
venor Street and their villa on the shores of the 
Mediterranean and in Russia. 

It is not easy to know Russians very well, be 
they men or women ; while all are friendly and many 
delightful, few are intimate. 

After they married the Dolgoroukis built a large 
house at Taplow amongst the trees that once be- 
longed to Windsor Great Park. They made the 
place very beautiful and called it Nashdoun, which 
is Russian for "our home." 

The Prince lies in the peaceful little churchyard 
of Hitchin far from all the turmoil of his native 
land. 

It was a great gratification to Prince Alexis and 
her husband that our English Royalties were so 
kindly and appreciative to the foreigner in their 
land. 

I have felt very sorry for Fanny, Princess Alexis. 
She was so devoted to her husband, and having no 
children feels very desolate. 

Great wealth is very agreeable and oils the wheels 
of life, but alas, cannot buy or keep happiness for 
us. 



CHAPTER XVIII 

General Sir Francis and Lady Lloyd — Lord d'Abernon 
Hard at Work in Egypt — The Rev. George Wilkinson in 
Eaton Square — His Principles and a Royal Command — 
A Naughty Clergyman — Ate his Poultices — The Duchess 
of Devonshire's Ball — People Still Paying the Bills — 
Madame de Falbe at Luton Hoo — One of Her Quests 
and a Comforter — An Official View of Lord Kitchener's 
Conduct versus the Author's — An Official's View of Sir 
Ian Hamilton's Work — Sir Charles Douglas Lectures 
Sir Ian Hamilton — Mothers of Men. 

SUDDENLY I find I have arrived at my 
eighteenth chapter, with many happy mem- 
ories unrelated, but I must draw rein or per- 
haps my publisher will look at me as an angry 
swallow does a bat, and my readers will grow weary. 
I should like to have written a little about Lady 
Lloyd, wife of General Sir Francis Lloyd, at pres- 
ent commanding the London district, who has done 
such strenuous work since the war began. When 
first I knew Lady Lloyd she was pretty Mrs. 
"Frankie" Lloyd, a bright, human, and charming 
companion. She was then in Egypt seeing her 
husband off to the front, and very brave she was. 
On her return to England, when they were in Rut- 
land Gate, I used to dine and play duets with her 

339 



340 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

on some of the nights her husband was on duty in 
St. James's Palace. 

Amongst others crowding my memory are Lord 

D'Abernon, the Rev. Moyle (I forget his 

Christian name), Madame de Falbe, a whole crowd 
at the Devonshire House ball in 1897, Lord and 
Lady Dormer (the twelfth baron and his young 
wife, who was Miss Bald of Monsie Castle, Perth), 
the Samuel Bakers, Lady Carden of Templemore, 
and heaps more, but I must write of them another 
day, only briefly mentioning those whom at the 
moment my memory refuses to leave alone. 

First and foremost. Lord D'Abernon, who was 
Sir Edgar Vincent when first I met him, younger 
brother of Sir Howard Vincent, and certainly the 
cleverest of a clever family. He was raised to the 
peerage in 19 14. 

It was quite remarkable the number of important 
posts he held while yet a young man. When Finan- 
cial Adviser to the Egyptian Government he was 
only twenty-five or twenty-six. He was exceeding- 
ly good looking and knew it, exceedingly clever and 
knew it; perhaps a trifle spoilt, but that was the 
fault of the women. They are responsible for mak- 
ing men strut and preen themselves. As is usual 
with great brains, he was a bit of egotist, which 
is only natural. So few companions can be found 
with the same commodity with whom to exchange 
thought. 

He began life in the Coldstream Guards, where it 
was hardly to be expected he would remain long. 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 341 

To an active clever brain such a life would be im- 
possible, as there would not be found many brains 
with which to exchange thoughts. It was, there- 
fore, not surprising that, after a few years, he re- 
signed and became private secretary to Lord E. 
Fitzmaurice when Commissioner for East Rou- 
melia. 

When in Egypt we saw little of Sir Edgar, he 
was always hard at work. Lord Cromer thought 
highly of his ability and integrity. I have not space 
to recount all the important appointments he has 
held, but remember that from 1899 to 1906 he was 
member for Exeter, and is at the present time Trus- 
tee of the National Gallery, also since 191 5 Con- 
troller of the Central Board of the Liquor Traffic. 

Lord D'Abernon married the beautiful Lady 
Helen Duncombe, Lady Feversham's daughter. I 
am sorry there is no heir to inherit the brains and 
good looks of this couple. Amongst their homes 
they have a delightful villa at Venice named Plazzo 
Guistiniani. 

Another who haunts my memory at this moment 
is the late George Wilkinson, a relative of mine, 
whose powerful sermons and squeaky, whiny voice, 
attracted crowds to his church, St. Peter's, Eaton 
Square. He was an earnest, good man, and pop- 
ular, retaining a great hold over his parishioners. 
He only had to ask for anything he wanted for it 
to roll in. His offertories in church amounted to 
about four thousand a year, but it is well to remem- 
ber his congregation was a rich one. 



342 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

Mr. Wilkinson was really High Church, but when 
he felt it was policy, knew when and how to put 
on the brake. Nevertheless, he had the courage 
of his convictions, fer when ''commanded" to dine 
with Royalties one Friday, he begged to be excused 
as it was a fast day. He never dined out on Fri- 
days. 

I have often wondered how it was Mr. Wilkinson 
escaped being called Anthony; nearly all the north 
country family of Wilkinson rejoice in that Chris- 
tian name. 

Another parson haunting my memory is the Rev. 

Moyle (I forget his Christian name), but in 

my childhood he made a great impression on my 
mind. 

He was vicar of a church in Yorkshire. A big, 
red-faced, red-haired man, reminding me of the 
photographs I had seen of Macaulay. He was the 
exact antithesis of George Wilkinson, but an equally 
powerful preacher. I have seen him move his con- 
gregation to tears by his eloquence, while shedding 
a few himself. My father was a great admirer of 
his rhetoric. 

He had been preaching in our village church the 
Sunday before we received the news that he had 
been removed into safe keeping by officers of the 
law, being unable to account for £1000 he had re- 
ceived for special church purposes from Sir Charles 
Lowther, and because certain monies in his charge 
belonging to a girl to whom he was guardian were 
not satisfactorily accounted for. There were also 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 343 

a few other little shortcomings. He was sentenced 
to five years' penal servitude, and the last I heard 
of him he was not well and had been removed into 
the prison hospital, where he insisted in eating all 
his poultices ! 

The Duchess of Devonshire's famous fancy ball 
in 1897 must not pass unnoticed. It was such a 
great occasion. All the hairdressers of any repute 
and prestige had been engaged weeks before to dress 
heads after certain pictures and representing cer- 
tain characters. 

My hairdresser, Litchenfeldt, of Great Castle 
Street, began hairdressing and arranging at 6 a. m. 
on the day of the ball and finished at 10.30 p. m., 
with one half-hour for refreshment. 

There are people who have not recovered from 
the effects of that ball yet, so heavily had they 
plunged in jewellery to outdo some of their friends. 
Not so very long ago an acquaintance of mine was 
paying off a long jeweller's bill in driblets of £10 
at a time. A few wiser folk hired priceless jewels, 
insuring them heavily for the brief period they were 
required. One friend of mine who could not hire 
enough to make the blaze she required sent a special 
messenger to Paris who came back with a load and 
the owner of them to see all was right. He stayed 
until after the ball, and carried them away with 
him as well as a cheque of four figures for the loan. 

The clever and fascinating Madame de Falbe, who 
gave such celebrated parties at Luton Hoo, had a 
keen sense of humour and much enjoyed a joke. At 



344 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

one of her big balls the house was overcrowded with 
guests staying there for the occasion. Amongst 
them was Mr. Bernal Osborne, at one time member 
for Tipperary. Owing to the shortage of room, 
Madame de Falbe, knowing his proverbial good 
nature, asked him if he would mind his bedroom 
being used as a ladies' cloak-room for a few hours 
on the night of the ball. He willingly assented. 

Towards the small hours of the morning, when 
the rooms were beginning to empty, Mr. Osborne 
thought it would be safe to retire to his room and 
go to bed. He put the thought into practice and 
was just entering into his first beauty sleep when 
he was aroused by an old lady and her daughter 
groping about for their wraps. He heard the 
dowager saying, "I can't find my comforter, dears !" 
The occupier of the bed hearing this, sat up saying, 
"If anybody wants a comforter here I am,!" 

Tableau ! 

Madame de Falbe delighted in this story. 

Since writing my last volume of memories, I have 
been told by a friend in high authority at the War 
Office that I must have misunderstood what Lord 
Kitchener said to me respecting the Mediterranean 
command. I stated he had refused it, and had gone 
on a tour round the world until such time as a suit- 
able appointment presented itself. That certainly 
was the impression he left in my mind. The War 
Office version of this incident is somewhat different. 
I am told that when the Duke of Connaught re- 
signed the Mediterranean command Lord Kitchener 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 345 

was approaching the end of his tenure as Com- 
mander-in-Chief in India. He was offered the post 
resigned by the Duke of Connaught and refused it. 

Then King Edward asked him to take it and at 
the same time to begin his new billet by inspecting 
the armies of Japan, Austria and New Zealand, 
during which probationary period he was to receive 
£io a day ''all found," as the servants say. 

My informant continues: 

"He then accepted the post and went off from 
India to Manchuria and Japan, coming back via 
Australia, New Zealand, and, I think, Amer- 
ica. . . . 

"When Lord Kitchener arrived in England the 
vice-royalty was just coming vacant, and he made 
up his mind to run all he knew for that great post. 
In doing so he felt he was heavily handicapped by 
having accepted a new post, so he put it that King 
Edward had asked him to take the billet, but that 
now the King no longer wished to keep him to his 
acceptance, and that he was therefore free to chuck 
it. This he did resolutely, and stuck to it. 

"The Cabinet tried hard to make him change his 
mind and, when they saw it was useless, they offered 
the Mediterranean post to Sir Ian Hamilton, who 
demurred considerably about accepting it, express- 
ing it as his opinion that it was a barren honour, 
carrying no real responsibility or work, and that 
he did not care to accept the post unless new duties 
were added which would give more scope for his 
energies. Accordingly the Inspector-Generalship 



346 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

of Over-Seas Forces was tacked on to the Mediter- 
ranean command, and when the reports Sir Ian 
wrote, many of which have been acted on in Can- 
ada, West Indies, Panama Canal, AustraHa, Malay- 
States, Ceylon and China are put together, it will 
be realised the work was no longer a sinecure." 

No longer, I presume, a post requiring only that 
some beautiful person should sit at Malta and talk 
platitudes with a great show of diplomatic reserve. 

The same authority goes on to say that he does 
not agree with me that Lord Kitchener regretted not 
returning to Egypt when, in 19 14, he was asked to 
stay and help us out of our trouble with Germany. 
On the contrary, he was straining every nerve to 
get to the War Office instead of returning to Egypt. 

This is the official view of the situation. Mine 
was gathered from what Lord Kitchener told me, 
or at any rate wished me to understand. No doubt 
the official perspective differed from Lord Kitchen- 
er's, which may account for little discrepancies. 

Amongst the congratulations and kind letters I 
received from those who knew me and others who 
wrote through my publisher, the one I valued most 
was from Sir Ian Hamilton, saying he thought I had 
drawn a most faithful likeness of the life and char- 
acter of his old friend and comrade, Sir Charles 
Douglas. This pleased me coming from one who 
knew Sir Charles so well, as he was the character 
I had found it the most difficult to portray faith- 
fully, doing justice to his great abilities while recog- 
nising his disabilities. 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 347 

I still feel I have hardly done justice to his great 
devotion to duty, which he carried almost to ludi- 
crous lengths. The following may perhaps give a lit- 
tle idea of how all-embracing his duties were accord- 
ing to his own rendering. In the long ago days of 
Sitapur about 1878, when we were all together in 
that little station, Mr. Douglas, then adjutant of the 
92nd Gordon Highlanders, had a heart to heart 
talk with young Mr. Hamilton, telling him he was 
permitting me to take up too much of his thoughts, 
they belonged to the 92nd Gordon Highlanders (in 
very big capital letters), and it was his, the adju- 
tant's, duty to see that the regiment got the lion's 
share of every subaltern's attention. 

This was rather rough on Mr. Hamilton, but I 
think he comforted himself with the reflection that 
he was face to face rather with a social rival than 
with a military superior. 

However, the little storm in the Sitapur tea-cup 
blew over quite happily, for when the adjutant went 
on his two months' leave to the hills, he selected 
Mr. Hamilton to act for him as adjutant and even 
allowed him to ride on parades his famous and 
hideous charger "Rhinoceros," so called because of 
the bump on his Roman nose. 

Looking back over those old times when the adju- 
tant considered it his duty to drill and read lectures 
to Mr. Hamilton on the advantages of parades ver- 
sus flirtations, it has struck me as most curious that 
these two oflicers who, after their early days, hard- 
ly met for thirty years, and who had nothing in com- 



348 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

mon except perhaps an ancient affection or admira- 
tion for myself, with the most different tempera- 
ments conceivable, should have arrived together at 
the top of the military tree, and should be considered 
by the bigwigs in authority as alike as two peas in 
a pod, and interchangeable. Sir Charles Douglas, 
relieving Sir Ian Hamilton in the southern com- 
mand, and Sir Ian taking his place as Adjutant- 
General to the Forces. But I was a little behind 
the scenes and knew some of the reasons for the 
game of "General Post." 

It may not strike anyone as strange who did not 
know the character and temperament of the two 
men as well as I did. To me it has always seemed 
extraordinary. 

It is at all times difficult to write biographies, or 
even brief sketches of those we have loved or cared 
for who have been part of our lives, especially when 
they have at all times been unfailingly good and 
kind to oneself. Even in the very brief sketches I 
have tried to give of my friends and acquaintances, 
I have found it difficult not to look too closely at the 
pictures. I have had to stand them a little way off 
to grasp the surroundings and exact colouring. 
Many are no longer with us, and death so dominates 
the rest, making the past so hard to deal with faith- 
fully and justly. 

I have searched at times, with frenzy, though 
happily, amongst my memories for what I would 
like to chronicle, trying above all things not to blaze 
forth the things that have been kept hidden or the 



FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 349 

things that have been entrusted to our honourable 
keeping, when those who trusted us are no longer 
masters of the situation, no longer able to defend 
themselves or explain the whys and wherefores, and 
I should not like any I have mentioned to say with 
Zechariah, "I was wounded in the house of my 
friend," for that is what hurts. 

The written and spoken word sometimes has a 
way of getting up and hitting us as it did with poor 
Ruskin, the tragedy of whose life lay in the fact that 
the girl he loved rejected him because he could not 
conscientiously accept her doctrines, which he him- 
self had preached and taught her. 

I hope before another book of mine is launched 
upon the world the peace we all long for may be with 
us, and yet I dread the day when with bands play- 
ing, bonfires burning, church bells ringing, our men 
come marching home, for it will be a day of agony 
to many whose dear ones are not amongst the vic- 
torious legions. 

I think sometimes the part we mothers of men 
have played in this war has not been fully recog- 
nised. It is harder to sit and zvait than it is to go 
and fight, and harder still to say "Thy will be done" 
when "our all" has been done to death. With agony 
we mothers brought into the world the men we are 
now asked to give up with a twofold agony and no 
word of complaint comes from us as, with a drear 
smile that tries to be cheerful, we bid them "God 
speed," though we know that death will probably 
claim them and thousands more. We must be for- 



350 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 

given if we sometimes say to ourselves "What shall 
it profit us if we gain the whole world and lose our 
only son?" 

The reason and the only reason why we have not 
gone under during this war has been because of the 
mothers' sons' big hearts and bravery. Organisa- 
tion has not done it, discipline has not done it nor 
wealth of material and money, but the splendid 
hereditary instinct, the love of home and the mother 
that makes it, that is what is winning us this war. 
Hundreds and thousands have gone away cheerily, 
even gaily, knowing well they were only going to 
fill a gap for a short time, and then others will take 
their place, and no word goes forth of what was in 
those dead men's hearts. 

Few men know what home means to them until 
some tragedy brings it to their hearts, and even then 
they cannot always find the right label for their 
feelings, but if they could it would be Home and 
Mother. 

There is so much that is absolutely inexplicable 
about the situation, both at home and abroad, espe- 
cially to those who occasionally catch glimpses be- 
hind the scenes. We miss our war correspondents 
who told us what was taking place, now we have to 
learn it from the foreign newspapers. 

But as we grow older and more resigned : 

"The soul's dark cottage, battered and decayed, 
Lets in new light, through chinks that time has made." 

THE END 



INDEX 



Adams, v. c, Rev. J. W., 43, 134 
Alexandra, Queen Mother — 
her consideration for others, 

166 
her interest in "Persimmon," 

163 
names brother of "Persim- 
mon," 163 
portrait with dogs painted by 

Lacretelle, 164 
at Sandringham, 164 
her sense of humour, 163 
Anglesey, fifth Marquess of, 27 
Archer, Fred, jockey, 262, 277 

Bachelor, Capt., 144 
Baird, Mr. Abingdon, 8-10, 13 
Baird, Mr. Douglas, 8 
Balfour, Rt. Hon. A. J., 115, 

201, 202 
Bancroft, Mrs., 10 
Bath, Marquess of, 279 
Bathe, Sir Hugh Gerald de, 13 
Beaconsfield, Earl, 271, 272, 283, 

284 
Beaumont, Commander, 98, 99, 

100 
Belleroche, Marquise de, 330 
Benzon, Mr., 25, 26 
Bernhardt, Mme. Sarah, 11 
Bessborough, Lady, 4 
Bismarck, Prince, 208-210 
Bolckow, Mr., 1 71-176 
Bolckow, Mrs., 174 
Bowles, Mr. T. Gibson, 300 
Braddon, Miss, 104 
Brampton, Lord, 259, 260, 275- 

278 
Breadalbane, Lord, 297, 298 
Brewer, Mr. Charles, 259, 260 
Brown, John, 169-171 
Brown-Potter, Mrs., 3 
Brownrigg, Gen., 241 



Burn, Capt. Charles, 202 
Burnaby, Rev. E., 271-273, 279, 

280, 317 
Burne, Sir Owen, 223-229. 
Burnham, Lord, 102, 103 
Byng, Gen. the Hon. Sir Julian, 

298, 299 

Campbell, Lady Colin, 197-199 
Cardigan, Lady, 141, 153, 308, 309 
Carteret, Mr. de, Governor of 

Jersey, 7 
Cassavetti, Mme., 197 
Cathcart, third Earl, 132, 134 
Cecil, Lady Sophia, 211-213 
Chamberlain, Mr. Austen, 117. 
Chamberlain, Mr. Joseph — 
characteristics of, 114, 115 
devotion to his family, 117 
fondness for children, 115 
his quarrels with his friends, 

takes part in private theatri- 
cals, 106, 107 
Chaplin, Lord, 14, 15, 86 
Chesham, Lady, 260, 262 
Qietwynd, Sir George, 15, 23-27, 

259, 264 
Chetwynd, Lady, 14-16, 23 
Cholmondeley, Mr. Henry, 137 
Clarke. Col. Sir Stanley, 46, 47 
Cleveland, late Duchess of, 199 
Clinton, Miss Ethel, 162, 163 
Coleridge, Lord Chief Justice, 

23, 103 
Connaught, Duke of, 51, 171-175, 

272 
Cooch Behar, Maharajah of, 

203-207 
Corbett, James J., pugilist, 9 
Costobadie, Rev. Hugh Palliser, 

29 
Cotton, Fred, 249, 250 



351 



352 



INDEX 



Coventry, Lord, 149 

Crawford, Mr. Stirling, 143, 145, 

146, 148, 153 
Crespigny, Sir Claude de, 226, 

246 
Custance, jockey, 85-88 
Cuthell, Capt., "jj 

D'Abernon, Lord, 340, 341 
Devonshire, late Duke of, 114 
Dilke, Sir Charles, 60 
Disraeli, Mr. Coningsby, 284 
Dolgorouki, Prince Alexis, 334- 

338 
Dolgorouki, Prince Pierre, 334, 

335 
Dolgorouki, Princess Alexis, 

336-338 
Douglas, Sir Charles, 346-348 
Douglas, Lady James, 160 
Downe, Lady, 166- i6g 
Dudley, Earl of, 8 
Dudley, Georgina, Countess of, 4 
Durham, Earl, 23 

Edinburgh, late Duke of, 145, 

146 
Edward VII— 

admiration for Lady Moles- 
worth, 304 

advises Duchess of Montrose, 
149 

anecdotes of, 47-49 

appreciation of Mrs. Langtry, 
8 

asks Lord Kitchener to take 
Mediterranean command, 
.344 

his attack of typhoid fever, 51 

attended by Sir Wm. Jenner, 

35 
coronation of, 236-238, 335 
frequents pigeon-shooting 

matches, 145, 146 
gifted public speaker, 169 
gives bouquet to Mme. Ade- 

lina Patti, 12 
interested in racing, 163 
knights Sir H. Irving, 11 1 
present at ball at Hamilton 

Palace, 80 
stays at Blankney, 86 



Edward VII— 

tries Dr. Yorke-Davies' treat- 
ment, 46, 47 

win? his first Derby, 163 
Edwardes, Mr. George, 13 
Ely, Lady, 168 
Esterhazy, Prince, 71 
Exmouth, Lady, 54, 55 
Exmouth, Lord, 54-56 

Falbe, Mme. de, 340, 343, 344. 
Fitzgerald, Sir Maurice, 48 
Fitzsimmons, Bob, pugilist, 9 
Forster, Mr. Carnaby, 77-79 
Eraser, the late Sir Wm., 61, 62 
French, Field-Marshal Lord, 
294-296 

George V, 238 

Gilmour, Mr. Graham, 324-327 

Godson, Dr., 30-32, 124 

Grain, Mr. Corney — 
anecdotes of, 97, 98, loi 
appears in private theatricals, 

105, 106 
description of, 97, 98 
practical joke played by, 99 
reason for becoming society 

entertainer, 96 
as witness in lawsuit, 102 

Grant of Glenmoriston, Mrs., 311 

Greenock, Lord, 134 

Greenwood, Mr. Charles, 25, 26, 
83 

Grenfell, Admiral, 246, 251 

Griffin, Sir Lepel, 205 

Grimshaw, Jim, jockey, 16 

Guildford, late Earl of, 263-265 

Gull, Sir Wm., 51, 52 

Halkett, Baron, 105 
Hall, Jim, pugilist, 9 
Hamilton, twelfth Duke of — 

buys "Cortolvin," 71 

description of, 80 

at Donington Hall, 16 

his fondness for racing and 
hunting, 81 

his fluency in French, 91 

generosity of, 90, 91 

gives ball to Royalties at 
Hamilton Palace, 80 



INDEX 



353 



Hamilton, twelfth Duke of — 

at Oxford, 71, 72 

racing anecdotes of, 81-86 

run with harriers, 88 

strict Sabbatarian, 91 
Hamilton, Duchess of, 78, 87 
Hamilton, Lady Mary, 78, 79 
Hamilton, Sir Ian, dj, 345-348 
Harborough, Lady, 279, 280 
Harborough, Lord, 279 
Harcourt, Lady, 200 
Harcourt, Sir William, 113 
Harris, Sir Augustus — 

appears in private theatricals, 
105-108 

his care in staging his plays, 
112 

designs ladles' dresses, 109 

as freemason, no 

gives performance at Windsor 
Castle, no 

knighthood of, in 

as Sheriff of City of London, 
no, III 

stands bail for Oscar Wilde, 
113 
Harvey, Mrs. George, 99, 139, 

140 
Hastings, Lord, 14-19 
Hobson, Pulsford, 16 
Hood. Marion, 118 
Hopetoun, Lord, 139 
Hugo, Victor, 285, 286 

Inderwick, q. c, Mr. F. A., 107 

Jenner, Sir William, 34-36, 51 
Jersey, Dean of, 5-7 
Johnstone, Sir Frederick, 8, 9, 
148, 153 

Kelly, Sir Fitzroy, 287 
Kesteven, late Lord, 89 
Kinnaird, late Lord, 272, 273 
Kinsky, Prince, 71 
Kitchener, late Earl, 344-346 
Knatchbull, Colonel, 6, 7 
Knatchbull, Mrs., 5, 6 

Labouchere, Mr. Henry, 91, 102- 

105 
Lacretelle, M., 164 



Langtry, Mrs., 2, 5, 7, 8, 10, 13, 

134 
Langworthy, Mr., 124-132 
Lang worthy case, 123-132 
Lavis, Dr., 50, 51 
Leatham, Mr. Henry, 88 
Leinster, Duchess of, 4 
Lees, Capt. Harry, 203 
Lewis, Sir George, 278 
Lind, Letty, 117, 118 
Lister, Lord, 33, 34 
Lloyd, Lady, 339 
Lockwood, Sir Frank, 24 
Lonsdale, Dowager Lady, 32 
Lonsdale, Gladys, Lady, 4 
Lowther, Sir Charles, 288, 289 
Lowther, Mr. James, 23, 148, 199, 

200, 260 
Lumley, Mr. Theodore, 129-131 
Lurgan, Lord, 26, 27 
Lyndon, Lady Lina, 139 
Lytton, Lord, 268-270 

Macbean, Gen. Forbes, 320 
Macclesfield, Lady, 165, 166 
Mackenzie, Sir Morell, 148 
Maddon, Lady Caroline, 139, 140 
Malet, Sir Edward, 197 
Malet, Lady Ermyntrude, 196 
Manchester, Louise, Duchess of, 

4 
Maple, Sir Blundell, 22 
Mathers, Helen (Mrs. Reeves), 

30, 314 
Maxwell, Mr., 104 
Maycock, Sir Willoughby, 104 
Mecklenburg-Schwerin, Duchess 

Paul of, 32 
Mills, Harry or "Brusher," 186- 

191 
Milman, Col., 313 
Milner, Mr. Henry, 143, 152 
Minto, late Earl of, 2)7 
Mitchell, Charles, pugilist, 9 
Modjeska, Mme., 10 
Molesworth, Lady, 120, 301-305 
Monro, Sir Charles, 205 
Montrose, Caroline, Duchess 
of— 

accident at Hurlingham to, 

145-147 
a great sportswoman, 142 
and jockey, 152 



354 



INDEX 



Montrose, Caroline, Duchess 
of— 

marriages of, 143, 152 
racing adventures of, 147-153 
scratches favourite for the 
Cambridgeshire, 148 

Morley, Mr. John, 114 

Mostyn, Lady Mary, 139 

Munro, Kate, 162 

Napoleon III, 41 
Nelson, Lady, 160, 161 
Neville, Lady Dorothy, 40, 271, 

304 
Newcastle, Duchess of, 160 
North, late Col., 21, 22 
North, Professor, 56 

Oppenheim, Mrs., 197 
Ormonde, Marchioness of, 262 
Orton, Arthur, the Claimant, 

273, 274 
Osborne, Mr. Bernal, 344 

Paget, Lord Alfred, 162 
Paget, Sir James, 35-37 
Parnell, Charles, 194, 196 
Patti, Mme. Adelina, 11, 12 
Peck, Mr. Robert, 257, 307, 308 
Pellew, Hon. Wm., 56 
Pellew-Bradshaw, Mrs., 56 
Persia, Shah of, 225-228 
Pipon, Mr., 6, 7 
Pless, Princess Henry of, 3 
Pocklington, Mrs., 200 
Portal, Sir Gerald, 202 
Portland, late Duke of, 59 
Postlethwaite, Mrs., 309 
Poulett, sixth Earl, 68, 70, 71 
Poulett, seventh Earl, 70 
Priestley, Dr., 33 

Queensberry, late Marquess of, 
226, 227, 245-252 

Reeves, Mrs. See Helen Ma- 
thers 
Ripon, Lady, 5 
Roberts, late Earl, 60 
Ros, Lady de, 212 
Rose, Lady Cecilia, 134 
Rosslyn, late Lord, 18 



Rossmore, Lord, 3 
Russell, Earl, 313 
Russell of Killowen, Lord, 23 
Russell, Sir Baker, 77 
Rustem Pasha, 48 

Sartorious, v. c. Col. Reginald, 

219, 221 
Saumerez, Admiral de, 6, 7 
Saumerez, Mrs. de, 6 
Shaw, Capt. Sir Eyre, 99, 198 
Shaw, Col. E. W., 219, 220 
Slade, Major, 203 
Smith, Capt. Arthur, 87 
Soltykoff, Prince, 162, 163 
Stamford, Lady, 305-309 
Stamford, Lord, 305, 307 
Stannard, Mrs. Arthur, 50 
Steel, Mrs. Flora Annie, 314 
Stewart, Sir Donald, 35 
Storey, Fred, 70 
Storey, Miss, 70 
Stride, Ruben, 182-185, 190 
Sutherland, Duchess of, 313 
Sutherland, third Duke of, 312 
Sykes, Lady, I35-I37 
Sykes, Sir Tatton, 135-138 

Temple, Archbishop, 237, 238 
Thompson, Sir Henry, 40, 41 

Vaughan, Cardinal, 51 
Verner, Mr. Fred, 231, 232 
Victoria, Queen — 
her admiration for Lord Bea- 

consfield, 271 
attempted assassination of, 171 
and Col. Valentine Baker, 168 
courtesy of, 167 
Diamond Jubilee of, 163 
dislike for speechmaking, 169 
and German Emperor, 168 
and John Brown, 169-171 
love of fresh air, 167 
her personal interest in Sir 

Wm. Jenner, 35 
resentment against Duke of 

Sutherland, 313 
sends for Sir Owen Burne, 223 
and Shah of Persia, 225-228 
sympathy of, 169 
vetoes pigeon-shooting at 
Hurlingham, 145 



INDEX 



355 



Vigne, Captain, 207, 208 
Vivian, Mr. Glynn, 138 
Vivian, Mrs., 139 

Webster, Mrs. R., 3 
Wemyss, Earl of, 247 
West, Colonel Cornwallis, 3 
Westj. Mrs. Cornwallis, 3, 134 
West, Dr., 33 
West, Mr. Temple, 303 
Westminster, Duchess of, 3 
Westminster, first Duke of, 257- 

262 
Wheeler, Mrs., 3, I34 



White, Lady, 197 
Wilberforce, Bishop, 166, 167 
Wilde, Oscar, 113, 194, 195, 252 
Wilkinson, Bishop, 341, 342 
Wilkinson, Peter, 16 
William II, German Emperor, 

168 
Williams, Sir Monier, 34 
Wilton, Lord, 19 
Winchester, late Earl of, 267 
Wood, jockey, 23-25 

Yorke-Davies, Dr., 46, 47, 49, 
SO 



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